Falling For Him Was Like Falling From Grace
by debbiexmx
Summary: A new location brings a new lease of life. Will London bring her out of her almost mundane existence? Or will it swallow her up and spit her out? She soon catches the eye of a Peaky Blinder but where do her loyalties lie? Will she run back to New York or does she see her future under the protection of Birminghams most notorious gang.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Please note, all characters/scenes directly relating to the Peaky Blinders series are the property of Steven Knight. Original characters are the property of the author. No financial gain is made from this story.**

 **Chapter 1**

She stood against the cool metal railings, the wind blew through her hair as she sighed into the icy breeze, her moans getting lost out over the water which lay in front of her.

She pulled the fur coat tightly around her, desperately trying to keep warm. Difficult in the hostile Atlantic Ocean she accepted but yet she continued to strive for some form of heat.

Squinting her eyes, she could just make out land far out in front of her. _Ireland._ she reasoned. Their next stop. They had been sailing for five days and were drifting ever closer to her husband's homeland. Tears fell gently from her cheek as she thought back to all she had left behind. Everything she had ever known, she had lost. She had allowed herself to be dragged half way across the world and for what? _for a man._ She shook her head gently, irritated by her decision. She was a smart woman. She was educated. And for a woman in 1922, this was no easy feat. And yet, she had abandoned the chance of a promising career all to follow her husband back to London. For his career. She felt something brewing up inside her. _Resentment._ Why did he get to follow his dreams? He was a surgeon. A very experienced and respected surgeon, that she couldn't deny, but surely he could have been a surgeon in New York? Why did he have to move her, all their belongings to a strange city?

" _You'll grow to love it darling, just as I do."_ He had promised her. _"They have introduced some wonderful stores. I have heard Selfridges is just marvellous."_

Shaking her head again, she wiped another tear with her gloved hand. _Just what I'm looking for. Shopping. Three years at University to spend my days getting lost in yet another department store._

Ever since she had married James Lockwood, she had seen her life already mapped out. He found the idea of her working incredulous. Given the twenty-year age difference between them, she had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, reasoning that he was stuck in his ways. He was just like her Uncle Henry, who was responsible for their introduction. A firm believer in the notion that women belonged in the kitchen, good for child bearing and not much more. Henry had almost had a coronary when her father had confirmed he had paid her tuition to go to the University of the City of New York to study law, a profession very much set aside for men and men only. She had been one of only two women in her classes but she had loved every second of it. Despite the initial hostility she had faced from her male counterparts, she had proven them wrong with her intellect and judgement and they had come to accept her as a key contender. And now what was she doing? Staying at home, shopping, cotillions, parties. A lady of leisure would no doubt be in their element having a man take care of them the way James took care of her but yet she felt as though something was missing in her life. Something exciting, something interesting.

"Sara?"

A voice came from behind her, snapping her out of dream state. She briefly turned her head towards the direction the voice came from.

"Hello James." She replied sullenly.

"What are you doing out here? You'll catch your death. It is only April after all." James appeared beside her and wrapped his left arm gently around her waist, barely getting close to her through her thick fur coat. She fleetingly glanced up at him, taking in his features. He stood tall, just over six foot but towered over her 5-foot 3 inches figure. His hair was greying, his face thin and his eyes a dull brown. He was a good man but nothing about him excited her. She craved excitement, danger and desire.

"I'm just thinking. I'm not cold" She lied, hastily pulling her coat further to her small body.

James gently tugged her away from the bow of the grand ship they were sailing on. She had been apprehensive about travelling from New York on water given the Titanic disaster occurring only ten years prior. It was still fresh in peoples minds and the worry on passengers faces was clear to see particularly during the first two days of their voyage when they passed through the icy waters of the North Atlantic. She allowed him to guide her back towards the boat deck door, taking them back into the warmth. She gasped slightly as the hot air stung her cheeks. They had no doubt turned an unflattering rosiness from the frosty breeze which she had been standing in for the last thirty minutes. James led her back to their cabin, opening it slowly and allowing her to walk ahead of him. She entered the room, not thankingg him and wandered straight through to their spacious bedroom. Sara glanced at the décor. For most of their stature, it was incredibly luscious. Red and gold adorned the walls and floors and the grand four poster bed screamed wealth.

 _Too bad that's all that's screaming._ Sara thought to herself. They had slept in that bed together for the last four nights but honestly, they would have been as well sleeping at opposite ends of the ship given how far apart they lay at night. She sat down at the mahogany dresser which sat against the far wall of the room and stared at her reflection for a few seconds before finally pulling her coat, gloves and hat off. Not taking her eyes from the mirror, she examined the person looking back at her. Half of her blonde hair was loosely curled around her neck with the other half pinned tightly below her crown. She slowly pulled the pins from her head, letting the top half fall down around her face. Trying to run her fingers through, she grumbled as they caught on the tugs caused by the back comb that morning. Peeking back up to the mirror, Sara caught sight of her green doe eyes. They never seemed to glisten as much as they used to. She sighed as she placed her chin down into the palms of her hands, trying to remember how she used to feel. Two years ago, she was happy. She was only twenty four years old when she met James and yet she felt as though she had aged significantly in those two years. They had courted for around eight months before he had proposed. Both families, clearly satisfied with the upcoming nuptials, had ploughed on with organising the ceremony and they had been married within the month. _A lifetime ago._ Why did she feel so sad? So trapped and unfulfilled? James gave her everything she could ever want or need, yet he wasn't enough. Not enough by far. And now she was literally being shipped across the globe, to a land she had never seen, never experienced and the thought of that terrified her. The threat of the unknown loomed above her like a dark cloud and she could see no sunlight breaking through. She felt grateful that despite James' advancing age, he hadn't pressured her into a family. She couldn't bear the thought of it. Not that James didn't deserve a family. She just felt as though she wasn't the one to give him it. Lifting herself from the plush padded chair, Sara wandered over to the bed and lay down, not bothering to remove her outdoor dress. She wanted to sleep the rest of her life away or at least only wake up if there was something worth waking up for.

"Darling?" James' voice echoed through the quiet room. "Are you alright?"

Sara nodded to herself, not bothering to answer him. She lay facing away from him, closing her eyes when she felt him take a seat on the side of the bed. His hand slowly rubbed her bare arm, gently skimming against the beads dangling from the cap sleeves of her dress.

"Sara." It was a statement rather than a question. He was growing impatient with her, that much she could understand. She didn't like treating him like this, he deserved better. She rubbed her hands together, pulling gently on her fingers. Her eyes fluttered open as they caught sight of the large diamond which adorned her left hand. The ring had been expected. Flashy, large. Everything a well to do family would expect to see. She finally sat up and smiled at him. "Honestly I'm fine James. I'm just tired. I just want off this ship."

He smiled, seemingly accepting her excuse. "I promise things will work out for us here Sara. I know you weren't keen on the idea but please at least give it a chance. I have an appointment at St Thomas' Hospital on Friday which will likely confirm my position. Once we are settled, things will start to fall into place." He lifted her hand and kissed it gently. It was the most affection he had given her since they had boarded and it caused her to smile, appreciating the gesture.

"You know why i'm sad James. But i've agreed to come here with you but you know, I won't sit at home all day. I have to work James." She squeezed his hand. "I can't do nothing all day and you know that."

He nodded. "I know. That's why I have made a call ahead. I know its not what you're qualified for but you're good with numbers. My solicitor knows of someone who is looking for an accountant to run their books. I told him you would be ideal for the job. We go and see him next week."

Sara couldn't keep the grin from her face. "Really?"

James nodded. Inside, it was killing him putting his wife in this position. His solicitor had told him about the gentleman they were scheduled to go and see and James was wary about it. He had heard of the name in passing and was fully aware of the activities involved in the business but Sara had insisted she worked in London. She refused point blank to stay at home and James couldn't deal with her moodiness much longer.

"Who will I be working for?" Sara questioned, raising one eyebrow.

"Alfie Solomons." He answered quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – As you'll probably guess, this takes place just around the beginning of Season 2. Just to make you aware that Grace won't feature apart from in passing comment. She won't be back as she is at the end of Season 2. I think there's plenty of Tommy/Grace fics but I'm not a fan of hers so I won't be including her. I haven't decided yet if May will feature. Hope you are enjoying this so far!**

 **Chapter 2**

He walked with purpose through Camden Town, his peaked hat slightly dipped and his coat wafting gently behind him. When he finally reached the warehouse, he was led inside by a man taller than he. He was of slim build with dark hair and attempted to intimidate him.

"Put 'im down Ollie, put 'im down mate, he's only little." The cockney voice came booming from up ahead. "You on your own?"

"Seems so." Tommy answered, looking behind him as if to check.

"You're a brave lad ain't ya." Alfie Solomons turned from him and made his way through the warehouse with Tommy wandering behind him. They finally made their way up to a room at the end of the corridor where Alfie handed him a drink.

"Not bad." Tommy answered, placing the glass to his lips.

"Not bad? Not bad?" Alfie quizzed. "Its fucking awful that stuff. Fucking brown stuff. Its horrible, its for the workers. White stuff, now that is for the bosses. Come and look."

He walked away again leaving Tommy trailing behind him. He quickly turned his head, noticing Ollie was still following.

Eventually he found himself sitting in Alfie Solomons office. A dimly lit room with furniture everywhere. After some ribbing about Tommy's Romany background, they started talking business. Tommy was determined to get Solomons on side. After the attack from Sabini, Tommy needed him. He sat there for what felt like hours before Solomons finally seemed interested in listening to what he had to say. The threat of the gun in the drawer constantly playing on his mind.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I don't know why you're fussing so much James. I can go myself." Sara pushed her feet into her shoes and secured the strap.

James sighed. "Sara, we've been through this. Please don't make it any more difficult than this needs to be. You are not going alone to meet this man."

Sara looked up at him, utterly deflated. They had been having this same conversation for what felt like hours. They had long since arrived in London after making the car journey from the port in Southampton. The remaining day of their voyage had gone by uneventfully and they had arrived into Southampton on a relatively pleasant April afternoon. James had arranged for a driver to meet them. He had been a plump, balding but relatively cheery man. Sara thought he looked as though he was in his late fifties and worried that he was perhaps over exerting himself when he tried to lift their multiple bags into his car. She had nudged James slightly in the arm to point it out but he had just shrugged, seemingly not caring that the man was growing redder by the second. She had offered her assistance much to James' annoyance, but the driver had rebuffed her offer, insisting he was perfectly fine.

Eventually they made it to their townhouse in central London. James had grown up close to Primrose Hill and had been insistent that they set up home around his childhood neighbourhood. Despite being only twenty six years old, Sara had a wealth of life experience and growing up in a fast paced city such as New York, she was used to living alongside those who weren't as well off as she was and she wasn't as concerned about having to live in one of the best neighbourhoods as James was. When they had arrived outside the town house, Sara had been taken aback at the sheer scale of it. She was surprised to see this spacious property based in such a heavily populated area. James had warned her against travelling to certain areas, particularly in the East End. He had told her stories of the Whitechapel murders which had happened when James was only twelve years old. They had shocked the city and what was worse was the fact the killer had never been caught. Sara's body had covered in goosebumps at that point, desperately wondering why he had brought her here. But still, she had settled in the few days they had been there. She had had a chance to explore the area, taking advantage whenever James was at the hospital or visiting someone so she was beginning to feel relatively comfortable in the area.

"James…." She tried to reason with him. "You won't be able to come to work with me every day so what difference does today make?"

"Please stop arguing Sara." His voice slightly raised, taking her by surprise. "The meeting is in Camden. Its not quite the same as it used to be. I just want to make sure it's safe before you start going there yourself. Is it such a crime for me to want to protect you?"

Sara shook her head, feeling suitably chastised. She pulled her coat on and started to walk towards their front door.

"Wait!" James called from behind her. She spun around to face him. "Take those off."

She looked around her, confused about what he meant.

"That." He confirmed, pointing to her hand.

"My rings?"

James nodded. "And the earrings. The last thing I want is you wandering around wearing items just screaming to be stolen."

Sara nodded and removed the jewellery, placing them in a drawer of the end table which was situated at the bottom of their long winding staircase. Satisfied, James placed his hat upon his thinning hair and grabbed his cane, offering his arm to her. She accepted it and followed him down the steps, closing their front door behind them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The noise of a door closing caused him to look up. He had been standing at the front door of his sisters house, having just paid her a visit. His peaked cap was pulled far down over his eyes and a cigarette hung precariously from his lips, smoke billowing up around his face.

His eyes darted up the street where he saw a couple emerging from one of the houses. Judging by their clothes, he could tell exactly what side of London they belonged in. The gentleman was clearly tall. Taller than him. His grey pinstriped suit visible slightly under the long black coat he wore. He walked with a purpose, with a goal. He had seen that walk before. He had that walk. It caused people to dart out of his way and tilt their hats to him as he walked past. Although he did doubt this man had that same kind of effect. His eyes eventually fell on the young woman beside him. She had a hat on which was tight to her hair but he could just about make out the hint of golden blonde from underneath. His breath hitched in his throat. _No. It couldn't be._ He hadn't seen that shade of blonde in two years. He willed the woman to turn around so he could get a look at her face. Her skirt flowed around her mid thighs and her coat was pulled tight around her petite waist, the fur filled collar covering most of her neck. As he watched them walk towards their car, the woman eventually turned her head, allowing him to get a look at her. He finally let go of the breath that he hadn't realised he'd been holding. _Its not her._ His heart finally stopped racing and he took another long drag of his cigarette before throwing it to the ground, watching the couple as their car made its way out of the street. He watched intently as it came closer to him, his eyes never leaving the young woman sitting in the front seat, as if he was determined to prove to himself that it wasn't Grace sitting there. He willed her to look at him, knowing if there was any chance it was Grace, her reaction would give her away as soon as she saw him.

The woman gently lifted the hat from her head and placed it on her lap. She seemed agitated, her eyes were all around – at the man beside her in the car, on the house they had just left, on the road, at a woman with an infant walking down the street and then finally on him. She caught his eye as she passed by the house he was standing in front of. She looked at him curiously but he could see there was no recollection there. _Its definitely not her._ He shook his head, watching the car pass by him before finally lighting another cigarette. He threw his match to the ground just as the door opened behind him.

"Tommy, what are you still doing 'ere? You're gonna disturb my neighbours." The young woman tapped her foot impatiently.

"Ada. I think we've passed the point for that." Tommy kept staring ahead, not turning around to face her. "Who lives in that house up there?" He asked, pointing to the one the couple had just emerged from.

"No idea." Ada huffed, lighting her own cigarette, taking a deep breath in before gently exhaling, allowing the smoke to leave her lungs.

Tommy closed his eyes, irritated. "You need to know who is on your doorstep Ada."

"I think they've only just moved in." Ada shrugged, stamping her foot on her cigarette. "Anyway, you gonna tell me who you've pissed off now?"

Tommy turned to her, his eyes narrowed. Ada pointed to the fresh cut on the side of his face.

"Hit the bottle." He answered nonchalantly.

Ada scoffed. "Where did you boys go last night?"

"Eden Club." Tommy replied, his minimal answers indicating he didn't want to go into it any further.

"Sabini's place. What are you playin' at Tommy?"

Tommy ignored her. He turned back to her and grasped her hand, placing the notes against her palm.

"I don't need your money Tommy." Ada argued, trying to force it back towards him but Tommy was already walking away from the house. She grumbled to herself, irritated by her older brothers constant need to provide protection. She was perfectly capable of looking after herself. She had Karl to think about, she wasn't going to do anything stupid, despite what Aunt Pol thought. She watched him walk down the street until he was finally out of view before glancing around the street, her eyes landing on a familiar looking figure standing across the street, slightly hidden from view. Rolling her eyes, Ada walked back into the house, closing the door behind her. She wasn't overly surprised to find that Tommy had hired someone to keep an eye on her but god it irritated her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Alfie Solomons had been impressed by her. Not just her mind, which was no doubt quick off the mark when it came to numbers, but also by her attitude, her presence. He had dealt with upper crust, stuffy bastards in the past and although her husband reminded him of every one of them, his wife was something else. That being said, he did make the unfortunate assumption that she was actually his daughter. A mistake that he was sure had been made in the past, given how irritated it clearly made the man but Alfie had laughed it off, smacking him gently on the back and earning a slight giggle from the woman he now recognised as this bastards wife.

But there was something intriguing about this woman. Alfie had watched over her shoulder as she worked her way through two pages of his books. He had insisted her husband went off with Ollie to see the bakery – only certain parts of course – whilst he discussed logistics with Mrs Lockwood.

"Now, as you can see, things ain't looking too good 'ere." Alfie took a drink from the glass sitting on his desk. He offered Sara a glass which she politely declined.

Sara sighed. "I think that's an understatement Mr Solomons. Your books are fucked." She was brutal. Alfie liked it. He wondered for a second if she would speak this way had her husband still been there. She almost seemed timid in his presence but clearly outwith the restraints of marriage, she was quite the opposite.

"Well then, I think I need you 'ere to fix 'em." He took another drink, forcing a glass into her hand despite her earlier protests. "To a great partnership eh?!"

Sara lifted the glass and clinked it against his, smiling. She knocked back the drink, indicating her acceptance of the position.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He walked back towards the house on Watery Lane, opening the door and striding in.

"Sorry I'm late. There was a family matter." Thomas strode into the office with his hands firmly in his pockets. "Esme, keep it locked up for a minute."

John was hovering over the small brunette who Thomas couldn't help but think looked so out of place standing there. He walked over to her, lifting his head slightly as the woman turned to face him. "I'll show you around." He glimpsed briefly at John, indicating he should leave. "So, be my guest." He turned away from her, allowing her space to walk past him. Leaning against the wall, he listed the offices as she came to them, lighting a cigarette as he did.

"Its out in the open. What about the police?" May Carleton spoke for the first time since he had entered the room.

Tommy shrugged. "What about them?"

She nodded briefly, understanding his point. "When I drove into Small Heath, I thought I was going to get murdered." She sat on the edge of the desk, her hands placed flat beside her. "And then I mentioned your name. It was like being escorted to see a King." She finally looked up at him. He stood taller than he actually was, his cap was lifted high enough that she could see his hooded eyes.

Thomas nodded, wanted to change the conversation. "You came here to get my girl right?." He pushed himself up from the wall he had been leaning on.

"Right." May answered, sensing a slight change in the atmosphere. She followed him out into the street where Curly appeared leading the stunning grey filly towards them. After a brief exchange, Tommy led May towards the newly renovated Garrison pub. He sauntered in, pushing the door open for them. Leading her towards the bar, they sat down to a drink despite May's slight concerns about the early timings of the day. He poured the gin into the glass, filling it almost to the brim.

"Goodness, with something."

Confusion crept onto Tommy's face. It wasn't normal for them to serve mixers with their spirits. Watering down perfectly good alcohol seemed like a waste. He turned back and looked around for the tonic water she had asked for. His eyes fell on a bottle of cordial which was sat, abandoned at the end of the bar. He poured as much as he could into the glass without spilling it. Turning back towards the bar, he poured his own drink.

"Do you wanna fuck me, Mrs Carleton?" He asked, only turning back to her as he finished the sentence. She struggled to swallow the drink she had been taking, shock clear on her face as though she had no expectations of his thought process. "Perhaps cause I represent something to you." It wasn't a question. "We should have had this conversation before the booze. Its like its talking for us."

She thought for a second as he lit another cigarette. Her eyes avoiding his as she looked across the bar. Eventually, they came back to him as though she had finally considered her response. "You have a horse." She stated.

"Yes, I have a horse." Repetition being something Thomas loved doing. It intimidated people.

Her eyes narrowed towards him. "The horse is why I'm here." An air of assurance fell around her. She was insisting to herself that this was the case. "Purely that. And because you're paying me a lot of money to train your horse, that's why I'm here. Purely that." Her eyes wide, refusing to remove themselves from his face, never blinking.

"Good. Good. A toast then." Thomas lifted his glass towards her. She stayed in the same position in her chair, never moving towards him. "To the horse. To the derby."

"So is that what you say to women?" She placed her glass back down on the bar.

He thought for a second, looking briefly up towards the wall behind her. "Only if I don't know what they want."

"And what if they don't want to fuck?" she continued to question him.

"Then life is simpler."

"You want a simple life?"

He leaned on the bar, his palms wide and his fingers bent, tapping gently on the mahogany wood. "Do I look like a man who wants a simple life eh?"

The talked for a few more minutes until the Garrison door flew open. Finn appeared within the doorway, his eyes darting between Tommy and May, quickly trying to assess the situation. "The box vans here."

"You know I still don't know what you're going to call your horse." She tapped the edge of the cigarette she had lit into the ashtray.

He thought for a moment, before finally bringing his eyes back down to her. "The horse will be called 'Grace's Secret.'

Nodding briefly in response, May took another drink and followed him back into the street.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Several days later, Sara found herself back in Alfie Solomons property. He had set up a separate desk for her to work at which was located next to his office, out of the way, and she was grateful for the quiet environment rather that being out in the warehouse where the noise was almost unbearable. She had been there for thirteen hours now trying to make sense of the paperwork in front of her. She knew James would be expecting her home soon but she had almost found herself too engrossed in her work. Searching through countless books and receipts, she was struggling to understand much of the figures which had been entered into the accounts by the previous book keeper. There were payments being transferred to an account based in Birmingham but Sara could find no rhyme or reason for them. There was no paperwork to explain who these accounts were for, no paper trail to confirm the set up and no names attached to them. All she could see consistently through the receipts were the initials P.B. _Who was P.B.?_ she questioned to herself. Before she could think anymore, she could hear several footsteps walking through the warehouse. It was late, most of the workers had gone home. She heard the door to Alfie's office close and watched as the familiar silhouette passed by her door and she listened intently as his footsteps grew quieter. Shaking her head, Sara started to review the papers in front of her again but her concentration was soon broken by the sounds of several footsteps growing closer to her. She stayed quiet as multiple shadows went by and disappeared into Alfie's office. The door finally closed and she could make out the familiar noise of chairs scraping across the floor as the visitors took their seats.

"Did you know they was gonna take the Eden Club?" Sara stood from her chair and softly made her way over the wall. There were several cracks forming which allowed her to hear the voices coming from the adjacent room.

"I know about the Eden Club. Yes" Alfie responded.

"Did you know they were gonna do it before they did it? Because that's the one who's in charge. The one who knows before it happens." Sara could hear a hint of an accent in the mans voice but she couldn't quite make it out.

"I know what I know. If you don't know then you don't…fucking know, do ya?" Sara smiled at Alfie's winning logic. Suddenly voices began to raise and Sara found herself stepping back away from the wall. She wasn't sure what was going on but the noise made her slightly anxious. She was under no illusions what was going on at Alfie Solomons factory. She knew the script, she understood it and she knew that for loyal service to him, he would look after her. She could tell in the short time they had worked together that he had taking a shine to her. She wasn't sure exactly what kind of shine that was, whether sexual or platonic, but he looked out for her. He reprimanded the men when they made lewd comments towards her, although on more than one occasion, she had one of them against a wall with his hand wrapped tightly up behind his back.

 _"Fucking talk to me like that again and I'll fucking snap it. Understand?"_ she had warned him. Alfie had been standing at the end of the room at the time and had purely smirked when she finally let him go.

 _"Fuck me darlin' where'd that come from?"_ he had asked, although not really needing an answer. He knew where she had grown up and was well aware of the troubles which plagued several New York boroughs over the years. She had purely winked at him and walked back to her office, leaving the crippled man in a heap on the floor, rubbing his arm.

She sat back down at her desk and tried to focus on her papers, ignoring the clear rising tensions as she heard someone slam their hand down on the table. She jumped up, taken by surprise from the sudden noise. Further intrigued, she stood back up and wandered back to the wall space she had previously occupied.

"Now, admit it. The Peaky Blinders is out of control."

"Yeah, they out of fuckin' control mate. The come down the canal to spread like the fuckin' clap." Alfie answered.

"Right, so now they're everybody's problem. Alfie, you an' me. We've been fighting since we was in school. Alright? Now also, we've been friends. It all goes backwards and forwards. But how much better is it, when we're friends?"

"Oh its much better mate. What we do now, is we write out some kind of deal thing right." They argued on and off for the next few minutes before seemingly coming to an end result.

"Just write down peace. Just peace. Between the Jews and the Italians." Alfie stated.

"And war. Against the gypsys."

Sara moved back again, awareness creeping over her about who this gentleman and his team were. This was Sabini. She had heard about him from James but she had no idea Alfie was involved in any kind of business with him. And the Peaky Blinders? Who were they? She shifted back to the table and lifted the papers and receipts she had been previously going through before the interruption from Sabini. _P.B. P.B._ Her mind raced as she looked over the initials written on the paper. Was this who P.B. was? Peaky Blinders? But who were they? She stared down at the paper and started to move solely backwards, her elbow catching on the vase sitting on the table directly behind her. All she could do was stare as it plummeted to the ground, shattering into hundreds of pieces. Her eyes grew wide with an emotion she didn't recognise. _Fear?_ Movement could be heard from the room next door and Sara had little time to think as she hid the paperwork in her pocket. She dropped to the floor and started to lift the large parts of ceramic into her hand, freezing as her door was flown open.

"Sara? You still 'ere?" the cockney accent of her boss lingered in the air. She lifted her head slowly as she peered over the table, taken aback by the crowd that had now gathered at her door.

"I apologise Mr Solomons. I didn't mean to disturb you. I was lifting a file onto my table and I accidently knocked your vase over." Her eyes dropped back to the floor as she continued to lift up the remnants of the vase.

"Not to worry about it Darlin' we were just about finished here anyway." He glanced back at the man behind him. Sara looked up and could now get a look at the man who she assumed was Sabini. He pushed past Alfie and into the room, heading straight for the table she had been working at. His eyes glanced across the paperwork and narrowed as he picked some of them up. He read over them briefly before placing them back down on the table. He finally looked over the young woman who was still crouched on the floor. He stretched out his hand to her which she cautiously accepted. She got to her feet. The man in front of her wasn't much taller than she was. He bent slightly, lifting her hand towards his lips and gently placed a small kiss on her knuckles.

"And who is this beauty?" he leered.

Alfie cleared his throat. "This would Mrs Lockwood. She is my new book keeper." Sabini glanced between the two and eventually came back to Sara. "My pleasure Mrs Lockwood." He grinned at her before finally dropping her hand and walking back towards the door. They departed her room and Sara could see them shaking hands as Sabini and his men finally left. After hearing the main door of the warehouse finally closing, Sara finally let go of the breath she had been holding and collapsed back into her chair. After a few more seconds, Alfie appeared back at her door. He rushed to the paper work and desperately started rifling through it.

"Is something wrong Mr Solomons?" she asked, tentatively.

"I'm just lookin' for somethin' luv." He was frantic now. His cane had been flung onto the floor and his hat had fallen from his head.

"This?" She asked him, lifting the paperwork from her pocket and waving it in front of her.

Alfie turned to look at her. "I overheard your conversation. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I had noticed those initials written down and then I heard you talking. I put two and two together. When I knocked over the vase and knew you would be coming in, I didn't think you would want him to see them." She lifted her hand and placed it in her pocket, pulling from it the paperwork she had hidden and handed them to Alfie.

He stared at the receipts in front of him before finally lifting his eyes up to meet hers. A grin slowly appearing on his face. Quite possibly the first major smile she had seen from him since she had been there.

"Just as smart as you look." He placed the paperwork back down on the table before picking up his cane and hat and disappearing back into his own office. "Go home Sara." He yelled through the wall. Not needing any more warning, she quickly tidied her desk, pulled her coat over her body and disappeared out into the night air.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day was a Saturday. May was fast approaching and the weather was turning seasonably warm. Sara stood at their large livingroom bay window, gazing out into the street. Her eyes glanced further down their road until she could just about see Regent's Park. She hadn't ventured down that way yet but knew eventually she would want to. Wandering back into the hall, she called on her maid to fetch her coat. Seconds later, a stout middle aged woman with grey hair appeared before her, holding her coat up for Sara to slide her arms into. Without saying a word, she disappeared off towards the kitchen as Sara stood before the mirror and tied the belt around her waist. She lifted the red cloche hat from the hat stand and placed it on her head, carefully fixing the strands of hair which fell down her cheeks. She studied her reflection in the mirror for a few seconds. Her eyes were powdered dark but her lips remained a natural pink. She had become more aware of what suited her having visited the new make up counters in the nearby department stores. They had become somewhat of a trend in the 20s which they had never been before. A few years ago, Sara would never have dreamed of wearing make up. Before the war, make up was a look reserved only for harlots. No self respecting woman would have been caught dead wearing so much but now, it had become so much more acceptable. Taking one last look, she picked up her purse and walked out the door. The warm air hit her as soon as her foot took one step outside and she closed her eyes to savour the feeling. Looking around, she could see people out walking whether it was with baby carriages or dogs. People smiled at each other, quite a rare occurrence, but the good weather seemed to bring out the best in people, particularly after such a harsh winter. Sara walked down the steps from her front door and took a left. She walked past a few houses, barely paying attention to what was going on when she suddenly felt a bundle around her legs. Startled, she looked down and almost broke into a grin as she took notice of the young boy clinging onto her ankle.

"Hello little man." She smiled, bending down slightly so she was almost at his eye level. "Where did you come from?"

The boy looked up at her, a wide toothy smile playing on his face. Sara could see the mischief radiating from him.

"Karl Thorne!" a womans voice bellowed from a nearby house. Sara looked up to see a woman, not much younger than her, appearing at the doorway. "There you are! Your Uncles would have a fit if you ran off."

"He's quite alright. He had only just appeared." Sara smiled at the woman as she approached cautiously. "My names Sara Lockwood. I just moved in three doors down."

The woman glanced at the hand being held out to her before finally accepting it. "Ada Thorne."

"And this little man is called Karl, is that right?" Sara smiled back down at the little boy who had now detached himself from her. He nodded up at her. "How old is he?"

"He's two, going on twelve." Ada smiled. "Into everything and just won't sit still. Do you have any children?"

Sara shook her head. "Not yet. My husband has been incredibly busy and we just haven't had the time." Not a complete lie, Sara reasoned with herself.

"What does he do?"

Sara stuttered. She wasn't used to people asking questions of her husband. "He's a Doctor. Well a surgeon. He works at St Thomas'"

"Impressive." Ada smiled, although Sara could see that as the smile didn't quite reach her eyes, impressed was the least likely emotion she was feeling. "You're not from around here." It wasn't a question, more than a statement. It wasn't difficult to tell. Sara's American accent stood out like a woman in a coal mine.

"New York." Sara answered. "We just moved here for my husbands work. How about your husband?" She asked, desperately trying to switch the focus from her.

"Dead" Ada answered, rather abruptly, taking Sara aback.

"I apologise." Sara's eyes fell to the little boy at her feet.

Ada shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Come on Karl, you need to be ready for Uncle Tommy." She picked the little boy up from the ground and clung to him. "It was nice to meet you Mrs Lockwood"

Sara watched for a few more seconds as Ada disappeared back into the house. She had whispered a 'goodbye' as they vanished from sight. She started walking again towards the park, her mind suddenly going into overdrive. She realised that she felt incredibly lonely. James was always working, that day was no exception, and Sara was alone a lot of the time. Even when she was at work, Alfie wasn't always there and she spent large parts of the day on her own. She desperately wanted a friend, someone she could talk to, laugh with, go out for the day with, but given her line of work, meeting other women was difficult. She wondered if she and Ada could ever be friends. The woman had been quite distant with her but judging by her admission about her husband, it was hardly surprising.

Eventually she reached the edge of the park. As she made her way along one of the many winding paths, she was surprised at the number of people who had ventured out. The hill tops were shrouded with families having picnics and children playing together. Eventually finding a empty bench, Sara sat down, crossing her ankles, as she continued to watch the scenes play out in front of her. The sun was beating down on her face, her style of hat providing very limited protection from it, and a warm breeze flicked the ends of her hair up so they tickled her ears. The afternoon slowly disappeared from her as she sat doing not much else but observing and before she knew it, the sun was starting to disappear behind the trees. Grasping onto her purse, she stood from the bench and began walking back in the direction she had come from. She was almost at the edge of the park when a young boy, no older than thirteen, came barrelling around the gate, almost knocking her down.

"I'm sorry Miss!" He exclaimed, reaching his hand out to steady her. She looked down at him, her eyes only just peaking out from below the rim of her hat.

"It's alright. Just be careful next time." She straightened her jacket and went to take a step when she saw a small boy clinging to the older ones legs. "I know you. You're Karl aren't you?"

The youngest boy smiled up at her, his toothy grin back on show.

"He's my nephew, Karl Miss." The older boy answered.

"And what is your name young man?"

"Finn. Finn Shelby Miss."

She nodded, scanning over his attire, which seemed very formal for their activities. "And what are you both doing running around the edge of the park?"

He shrugged. "We were with my brother Tommy, but I was playing with Karl and now I can't find him. I'm not sure where my sister's house is. That's Karl's mother"

"Your sisters Ada?" She asked, remembering Ada's mentioning this Tommy character.

Finn nodded. "I can take you there. She lives near me." Sara held her hand out to Karl who happily took it, seemingly trusting the woman. Finn followed alongside her, continuously glancing behind him.

"Is everything alright?"

"I just don't want Tommy to be angry at me." Finn admitted, still looking behind him. "He'll be mad that we ran off."

"I'm sure he'll just be happy that you're safe." They walked for a bit longer before they arrived outside Ada's door. Sara gently knocked the door, passing a smile to Finn and Karl. After a minute, the door slowly opened and Ada cautiously peeked outside, only opening the door fully when she saw who was standing there.

"What are you doing here? Where's Tommy?" She asked them, not acknowledging Sara.

"They got separated but Finn didn't know which house was yours so I brought them back." Sara responded despite not being asked.

Ada glanced up at her, her original hard stare now softening. "Thank you Mrs Lockwood."

"Sara, please." She smiled. She gently pulled her hand, motioning for Karl to come to his mother. "I just didn't want them getting lost. I'm not sure where your brother is."

"We ran away from Tommy, Ada." Finn confessed. "I'm sorry."

Ada tilted her head back and moved out of the way to allow Finn to go inside. She held her hand out for Karl to take it. He released Sara's and hobbled towards his mother. "Thanks again Sara."

Sara smiled to her, turned on her heel and begun making her way back to her house. Just as she was reaching her gate, she heard commotion behind her. Turning her head briefly, she saw a young man running towards Ada's door and banging hard on it. He was hard to make out. His black coat covered most of his body but Sara could see he was well dressed underneath. His peaked cap was pulled down over his eyes and she could see something attached to it, something which glinted in the sunlight but she couldn't make out what it was. Her instincts told her this was Tommy. She watched as Ada finally opened the door. The man was becoming animated as he talked and kept pointed towards the park. She watched as Ada begun pointing up towards her and was suddenly caught off guard as the mans attention drifted from his sister up to her. Realising interest was now on her she pushed the key into her door and stepped inside.

 **Thank you to everyone who has favourited/followed this story, I really appreciate it! I'd love to hear from you though so please leave a review! Thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sorry Tommy." Finn was clearly worried about his brother's reaction.

"Never mind them Thomas, where were you?" Ada demanded. "Why were they in that situation anyway? I'm just glad it was my neighbour that found them."

"Who was that?" Tommy asked.

"Don't change the subject Tommy. Where were you?" Ada's hands were on her hips, her anger clear. Tommy ignored her. He wasn't about to admit he was distracted. He hadn't expected to see May in the park and yet there she was, looking as beautiful as she always did. He had struggled to get her out of his head since spending the night at her house. He had teased her when she had come to pick up his horse, asked her if she wanted to fuck. She had denied it vehemently but despite this, he had managed to seduce her into bed. Aside from whores, she had been the first woman he had been with since Grace left. It was strange, an odd sensation. Sex with feelings? it was almost foreign to him. They had only spoken for a few minutes today. She was there visiting another account she had, another horse she was training. She was just as surprised to see him there but their reunion was cut short when Tommy realised he couldn't hear Finn or Karl anymore. They had been playing close by but Finns distinctive Brummie accent was now no longer heard. Tommy cursed himself. It wasn't like him to lose concentration like this, to be distracted. Since all the problem began between the Blinders and Sabini, Tommy's agitation levels were through the roof at the fact the two young boys were missing. He had ran from the park towards Ada's street, not stopping until he got to the door. He hadn't even noticed the woman walking away from him. His relief at seeing the boys was short lived as Ada made it quite clear to him how angry she was. She had punched him several times on the shoulder, forcing him back towards the street. It was only then she had mentioned the neighbour, pointing up towards the woman who was now watching them from her steps. He automatically recognised her as the woman he had seen driving away the previous week, the one he had asked Ada about. She had disappeared into her house as soon as he turned his head to look at her, her eyes had widened as they met his. He turned back to Ada and demanded the womans name, which she provided. Now, satisfied the boys were safe, he turned and made his way up to the door she had run into. He strode up the steps and knocked firmly on the door, briefly turning back to Ada who simply shook her head and disappeared inside. As the door slowly opened, Tommy straightened himself up, standing tall and head held high. His eyes narrowing as a shorter, plumper woman appeared at the door. Glancing over her attire, he recognised her as the maid.

"Mrs Lockwood please." Tommy requested.

"May I ask who's calling?" she asked, her cockney accent clear.

Tommy slightly huffed. "Thomas Shelby."

The woman nodded and opened the door wide enough for him to enter. He walked into the foyer, his eyes briefly scanning the room, taking in the expensive décor. She was clearly a woman of good taste, highly doubting her husband had much to do with it.

"Mrs Lockwood is in the lounge." The maids voice broke into his thoughts. He nodded, following her through.

"Mr Thomas Shelby to see you madam." She beckoned for him to come in to the room and then quickly took her leave, leaving the two of them alone. Sara had been surprised to see him. She stood from the cream chaise longue which sat alongside the fire place, the heat radiating around the room, and made her way across to him. Now he was only a foot or so away from him, she could take in his features. He wasn't as tall as she thought he was but he was broad, his shoulders pushed back and the black coat hanging from them, clinging around his neck. He was clean shaven and his cheekbones were high and sharp, so sharp she reckoned they could cut glass. She could just about make out the remnants of a scar on his cheek and a cut on his lip. His hands were buried deep into his pockets and his chest was pushed out. There was a glimmer of gold shining from his waistcoat where a pocket watch could be seen. His trousers stopped slightly higher than his shoes which were polished to within an inch of their life. He was extremely well turned out, almost intimidating. Sara's eyes made their way back up to his face which was dipped down again, the hat he wore almost covering the top half of his head.

"Didn't anyone tell you its considered rude to keep your hat on indoors?" Sara suddenly found her voice, breaking the silence between them which seemed to have lasted for hours.

At her words, she spotted a hint of a smile appearing on his lips, the left corner slightly twitching upwards. He removed one of his hands from his pockets and raised it to the peak of his cap and tugged it from his head revealing the harsh hair cut he had hidden underneath. Sara watched him as he did this and allowed herself to gaze over the remains of his face which had been almost hidden up to this point. Her breath suddenly caught in her throat and she let out a tiny gasp as his eyes fell on her. They were an unusual shade of blue, almost too blue. The way he currently studied her, they were cold, icy, perfectly in keeping with his current demeanour. But yet, there was a warmth hidden there, she could sense it. It was there but she reasoned it wasn't revealed very often, only to certain people she expected.

"Forgive me." He finally spoke. His accent clear to her. He sounded just like Finn.

"What is it I can do for you Mr Shelby?" She moved past him to the couch which sat behind him. She sat down and beckoned for him to also take a seat. He didn't move, other than turning slightly so he was now facing her.

"I understand you were of some assistance to my sister."

Sara nodded. "I just didn't want those boys running around London alone. I had met Karl and Ada earlier on this morning."

Thomas nodded, not giving much away. "I appreciate that Mrs Lockwood."

"Sara."

"Excuse me?" Tommy's shoulders lowered slightly.

"Its my name. As opposed to Mrs Lockwood." Sara stood again and held out her hand to him. "I'm not one for formalities. Its something I've struggled with since coming here."

He gazed down at her hand. It looked incredibly small compared to his but yet he extended his own and took hers, gently shaking it. "Where are you from?"

"New York. Please, sit." She pulled her hands from his. He immediately missed the warmth from her hand as soon as she removed it from his. This time though, he accepted her invitation and sat down on the comfortable seat. She sat down beside him, turning her body to face his. He sat at an angle, with his legs slightly apart. She was sat straight, her knees and ankles together, her hands placed firmly in her lap. He watched her intently, she fidgeted with her fingers and played with the ring which adorned her left hand. He made her nervous. An air of satisfaction settled around him, he enjoyed making women feel this way, uncomfortable and anxious. They didn't know how to act around him but he usually knew the reasons for this. They knew who he was but he sensed this woman did not know him given how she had spoken to him.

"New York." He repeated. "Where?"

"Manhattan." She confirmed, although offering him no more explanation.

"What made you come here?" He further questioned.

Sara sighed as though considering her response. "My husbands career. I wasn't left with much choice."

He didn't respond but simply cleared his throat. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. Pressing her hands to her thighs, she stood from the couch and walked towards the corner table which a decanter and glasses sat. "Drink?"

He nodded.

"I only have Irish. I hope that's alright." She poured the drinks, not offering him an alternative. Placing the top back on the bottle, she lifted the two glasses and made her way back to the couch. She sat down and passed the glass to him, her fingers gently grazing his as he took it from her. He took a long drink from it, his eyes still not leaving hers. She would never admit it but she found him incredibly intimidating. It almost felt wrong that they were sitting there together. They weren't particularly close to each other but she felt if her husband were to enter, guilt would appear all over her face. She took a drink, pulling her eyes away from his gaze and stared out the window.

"You seem sad." He broke the silence bluntly. She looked back to him, taken aback by his observation. She was sure people thought this of her but no one had the guts to say it to her face. She was sure her maids had heard her crying in the bath when she was alone but they would never acknowledge it. Sometimes she wished they would, just so she would have someone to talk to.

"I'm perfectly alright Mr Shelby."

"You don't seem it." She noticed that he didn't ask her to call him by his given name despite her allowances when he had arrived. "You seem as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders."

Her eyes dropped and her fingers went straight to her forehead, rubbing it as though trying to keep a headache from forming. He took her glass, stood from the couch and walked to the table, placing the empty glasses down. He refilled them and started to move back towards her. He sat back down, this time slightly closer to her. She noticed this immediately as his leg brushed against hers. He handed her one of the glasses which she gratefully took. Tommy placed his on the table and leaned back, resting his arm across the back of the couch. She took a quick drink and also leaned back, now aware that her back was against his hand, her bare skin exposed by the design of her dress was now rested against his fingertips. She put her head back, her eyes were closed and Tommy felt the tickle on his wrist from the wisps of hair which had come loose. His natural reaction when a woman was vulnerable automatically kicked in and he felt his fingers gently stroke the soft skin it was leaning against. Her eyes gently fluttered open and she turned her head slightly in his direction. She suddenly felt as though there was no space between them. His body had moved closer to her and her arm was pressed against his chest. She was confused. They had only just met, yet here she was, painstakingly close to him. Her heart was pounding at the intrusion she felt as his fingertips continued to caress the back of her neck. She questioned his motives, telling herself that he clearly had experience in this area. Was it the case that he spent a lot of his time seducing women, particularly those he felt he had some power over? Was she a challenge to him? She watched as he stared down at her, his eyes darting between hers and her lips. He slowly started to drop his head towards her but before she could respond, they were interrupted by a loud banging at the front door. They both jumped, startled by the sudden interruption. Sara stood, straightening out her dress and rubbing the back of her neck which suddenly felt incredibly hot after being almost attached to Tommy's hand for the last few minutes.

"Ma'am?" The voice came from behind the door followed by a short knock.

"Yes?" Sara answered, trying to clear her throat.

"A Mrs Thorne for you." At that, Ada burst into the room, her eyes were wild with worry and agitation. Tommy immediately went to her, grasping her arms tightly.

"What is it Ada?" He demanded.

"Aunt Pol. Michael. Arthur. There's been a raid. Michael and Arthur are in jail." She spluttered.

"Campbell. That fucking son of a bitch!" Tommy yelled, causing both women to jump. Saying no more, Tommy disappeared through the living room door with Ada hot on his heels, leaving Sara behind, once again, alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N - Thank you so much to those who have followed/favourited this story and also for the reviews! They really do mean the world to me. I'll be honest, i couldn't stop writing this chapter, i really enjoyed it so it is a long one! Ive got this story pretty planned out in my head and think it could be a decent length. Please continue to let me know your thoughts :)**

"We had a deal."

Silence.

"Hey! We had a fucking deal!" He tore into the church, stomping towards the lone figure sitting in one of the front pews.

"I would thank you to moderate your language in a place of worship." The man calmly answered, not looking up from his newspaper until it was snatched from him.

"We had a fucking deal." Tommy bent over the pew, staring the Inspector Campbell dead in the eye.

"Mr Shelby." He started. "If you read the papers, you might have seen that the Home Secretary has got himself into a bit of a fizz about certain moral issues. Prostitution, protection, racketeering, drinking, cocaine and of course, gambling. He has demanded results."

Tommy's eyes were wide with anger. "You offered me protection. You promised me protection."

"Well no, you see, it was Mr Churchill that made you that promise. And the Home Secretary outranks him, so I can hardly be blamed if your demented brother decides to go on some sort of blood orgy during dinner." He gloated.

Thomas paced the floor angrily. Swinging around, his finger pointed directly at Campbell. "Don't fucking lie to me! Do not sit here in your fucking church and lie to me!" He was bent over the pew, his face within inches of Campbell's.

The man didn't flinch. "You will need to contain your emotions or this meeting is at an end."

Accepting he wasn't going to get any further like this, he stepped away from him, turning his back.

"Good. That's better. So, let us review the new situation. I have your brother in a prison cell, charged with the murder of Billy Kitchen. The case against him is strong and I have no doubt that his destiny is to hang. And then there's Polly's son, Michael. He has already admitted to helping Arthur burn down the Marquis pub. He was a tough nut to crack, that boy, but crack he did. So I have your brother facing the noose, I have your cousin facing five years for arson. And I have your entire organisation in disarray in Birmingham and in London."

"What do you want?" he was getting impatient now.

"What do I want? I don't understand."

"I have already agreed to do your fucking killing for you. Now what is it….you want…from me."

The rest of their meeting passed by quickly. Understanding that Tommy was no longer afraid to die, Campbell had appreciated that he would need to go after others. Threatening the lives of his family would ensure his cooperation. Tommy had also discovered that Campbell was well aware of Ada's current living arrangements and the realisation that this man could bring down his entire family was enough to ensure he would obey. His anger had built up in him the whole time he was standing there but he managed to contain himself long enough for the man to finish his tirade against him. Eventually he had gotten up from the pew and left him, alone, with only his thoughts for company. He had stood in the church for a good few minutes after Campbell had left him. He needed a new strategy.

The meeting with the family went as expected. Polly was completely incapable of listening to him, demanding that Michael be released from prison and refusing to recognise the need to deal with business first. His mind was racing as John was explaining everything that had happened, the shock and anger flooding over him at finding out his businesses in London had been handed back to Sabini and Solomons. He felt betrayed but he wouldn't let it be shown to the others. Polly had insisted on Esme being removed from the room, a request which Tommy refused. He understood the need for the Peaky Blinders to have as much support as possible and the offer of the Lee's was welcome. Although he wasn't impressed by her talk of 'getting lost.' Grasping her face, he had threatened to cut her from the family should she ever mention it again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Darling, will you tell me what's wrong?"

James stared at her from across the dining room table. She had barely touched her food and continued to push it around her plate, toying with it until it likely grew cold. She continued to ignore him, not looking up from the china crockery which lay in front of her. Her stomach was rumbling but the thought of eating anything made her feel sick to her stomach. She had been so close to him, his face was centimetres away from hers. She could see his eyes glancing down at her lips. Those eyes which she had felt so intimidated by when she had first come face to face with him had been burning into her, they were enticing, enigmatic, mysterious and yet they had felt kind, lustful and compassionate. This man had her on a knifes edge, almost ready to fall off the precipice if it hadn't been for Ada's intrusion. She had considered her feelings and thoughts when she had been standing against the ships railings on their voyage here. She wanted excitement and danger. _Was this it?_ Part of her felt incredible guilt. Although nothing had happened, she could barely look her husband in the eye. She hadn't spoken more than two words to him in the two days since she had seen Thomas and he was starting to get irritated and angry with her. The fact she wouldn't give him any explanation for her sudden change in behaviour had unsettled him. He didn't like not knowing what was going on in his wife's head and hated the fact that she was shutting him out. He tried to reason with her on several occasions to bring her out of this comatose state she seemed to be in but nothing had worked. His anger was starting to unnerve her but yet she couldn't bring herself to answer him.

"God damn it Sara." He yelled. The silence was shattered in such an unexpected way that it caused her to drop her fork. He picked up his wine glass and threw it with as much strength as he could muster against the white wall causing a large scarlet stain to form. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She finally stared up at him, meeting his eyes. Hers were wide with fear. She had never seen this side of him before. In the two years they had known each other, she had never so much as heard him raise his voice. She watched nervously as he paced around the table to where she was sitting. He grabbed her forcibly by the arms, hauling her up onto her feet, shaking her so hard that the pins in her hair started to fall out causing her hair to loosen around her shoulders. The tears threatened to fall down her cheeks but she refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was upset but his actions.

"James, please, let me go. You're hurting me." She stated, trying to stay as calm as she could. She could feel his fingers digging deep into her arms knowing the action would likely cause her pale skin to bruise.

He refused to let go, his grip only tightening at her words. "Oh finally you fucking speak! Its only been two days!" His voice was getting louder and Sara could only pray that one of the maids would enter but she knew that despite those prayers, it was unlikely. They knew to always stay out of the way in situations like this. They were skilled at ignoring the dramas which went on behind closed doors and prided themselves on almost being invisible. "Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"Please stop talking like that. This isn't you!" Sara pleaded with him. She could feel her own rage start to build. She refused to be treated like this. She had gone through enough anger and beatings as a child and she wasn't about to accept it as an adult. Her life hadn't always been ideal and she hadn't always been so fortunate but she had never let on to James about her past. It wasn't something she was proud of and she had done her best to hide the facts from many people who were close to her – her parents being the only ones who knew the truth.

"You will tell me now what is wrong with you or so help me God….." James shook her hard again, taking her by surprise.

Sara's breath hitched in her throat. "Let me go James. I'm not going to ask you again." Her voice becoming more and more irritated.

"Or what?" He demanded. "What are you going to do about it?"

She could contain her anger no more at his treatment of her. Staring him dead in the eyes, she lifted her foot from the ground, bent her knee and before he could do anything, she aimed it directly to his crotch. His eyes shot open and his grip automatically loosened on her arms. His hands went straight to between his legs and he dropped to his knees giving her precious seconds to get away from him. Sensing this was her only opportunity, she moved back from him and headed straight for the door. Grabbing her coat and hat which was hanging up in the foyer, she hauled open the door and ran out into the night leaving her maids standing in shock behind her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He wandered quietly through the park trying to gather his thoughts and understand exactly what his next move was. He had to deal with this assassination which Campbell had tasked him with but he knew he had to find the perfect way of dealing with it, but it had to be on his terms, not Campbells. Besides the business issues, his head and heart were torn. He had been spending more and more time with May and he couldn't deny he felt something for her. He had purposely gone to her house knowing he didn't have enough petrol in his car to get him back to Birmingham. She had proven very easy to seduce despite her defiance that she wanted nothing more to do with him other than training his horse but now, as he was getting to know her, something burned inside him that he hadn't felt since Grace had left him. And then there was Sara. _Where the hell had that come from?_ He had gone round to her house purely to size her up. She was new in the neighbourhood and had now had some involvement with his sister, nephew and brother so it was important for him to ensure she or her husband posed no harm to them. When he had arrived and had come face to face with her, he had been taken aback by her beauty. He hadn't been able to fully appreciate it in the fleeting glances he had stolen of her on the couple of occasions he had seen her but once he was within feet of her, he could truly see her. He hadn't intended on staying and he certainly hadn't intended on them getting so close on her couch. He had been able to smell the sweet perfume which radiated from her and he could almost see his own reflection in her emerald eyes. He could feel her breath on him as he had leaned closer to her and he had almost cursed Ada for storming in on them completely ruining their moment together. He hadn't even taken a last look at her as he had run out of her house and how he wished he could see her now. May had gone completely out of his mind and he debated with himself exactly what that meant. If this woman could make him forget so easily, then perhaps May wasn't the one? His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the sound of running footsteps, his heart started to beat slightly faster and his hand automatically went to the holster underneath his jacket, ready to draw his gun at a seconds notice. His eyes darted around him trying to follow the noise until the finally rested on a cloaked figure racing through the park in front of him. His eyes tried to focus and recognise something within this person that would indicate their identity. The sound of the shoes along with the rustle of the skirt indicated it was a woman but apart from that, he couldn't distinguish her. Suddenly the footsteps slowed until the finally came to a halt and silence fell around him again. He continued along the path, making his way in the direction the footsteps had gone before his eyes finally rested on a solitary figure sitting on one of the park benches. He walked closer to her, watching her intently until he was only meters away. She slowly pulled her hat from her head, allowing him to see more of her. His eyes finally adjusting around the darkness where he could make out the goldenness of her hair. He knew at that point he recognised her.

"Sara?"

The voice took her by surprise. She lifted her head almost violently to look in the direction the voice had come from, her feet already ready to carry her further down the path if necessary. Her eyes softened as they rested upon his face, instantly recognising his stance.

"Mr Shelby, you startled me." Her voice didn't betray her. She kept steady despite the fact her heart was racing and the sickness in her stomach was rising every second.

He walked closer to her until he was standing beside her. She was no longer looking at him but down at her bare hands. She hadn't had time to grab her gloves and they were starting to grow cold. She rubbed them forcibly trying to get some heat in them.

"Hey, here." He moved around her and sat on the bench next to her. His hands were warm from being buried in his pockets. Tommy lifted her hands from her lap and wrapped his own around them. Her hands were petite and dainty and were smothered by his easily. He rubbed them gently, trying to transfer some of his body heat into her. They sat in silence for some time and Tommy had eventually stopped rubbing her hands but hadn't let them go, they stayed covered by his own and rested on her thigh. Her eyes still never looked up at him, preferring to stare intently at his fingers as they rubbed the back of her hand. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Her eyes shot up thinking back to her argument with James. She shook her head, indicating she didn't care to discuss it. He nodded, quietly understanding her. "Alright, we don't need to talk about it. Can I walk you home? You shouldn't be out here alone at this time of night."

She shook her head profusely. "I don't want to go back there at the moment."

"Alright. So where are you going to go?"

She shrugged. "Anywhere that isn't there."

Thomas stood to his feet and gently pulled her up along with him. He started to walk through the park back towards the direction of her house.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, alarmed at their route.

"To Ada's. She's gone back to Birmingham. We've had some family issues as I'm sure you can gather from our last meeting."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Business." Tommy answered, offering no further explanation.

She nodded and continued to follow him, her hand never letting go of his. She felt confused by her actions here. She didn't want to go back to her husband, the man who she should be able to trust with her life but here she was, following a man who was essentially still a stranger to her, yet she put her full trust in him. They walked quietly towards Ada's home all the while she prayed that James wouldn't appear. Thankfully, they reached the door without drawing any attention to themselves. Tommy pushed the key into the lock and opened the door, allowing her space to walk through in front of him. She looked around the foyer which was of similar style to her own.

"Drink?" Tommy asked, closing the door and locking it behind him. She watched him intently noting that he left the key sitting on the corner table. She nodded, following him into the sitting room. "Have a seat."

She did as he instructed, pulling off her coat and hat beforehand and resting it across her knees. Tommy poured the drinks out and held out the glass to her. He leant forward and picked up her discarded coat before draping it across the other couch. She watched him as he came back to her, lifting up his own glass and sitting down beside her. They drank in silence for a few minutes until they had finished at which point, Tommy got to his feet and filled their glasses again after which he moved back towards her and dropped back onto the couch.

"My husband." She spoke suddenly. "I was frightened."

Tommy looked up at her. He was leaning over himself with his elbows rested on his knees. He had removed his own coat, jacket, tie and hat so was now left in his white shirt with suspenders still over his shoulders. "Why?"

Shyness begun to creep over her. "I haven't quite been the same since the other day. I felt guilty about the situation we found ourselves in that day. I haven't been able to look him in the eye." She realised the irony now that she was now no longer able to look Tommy in the eye.

"Why would you feel guilty? You did nothing wrong." He sat back up and turned his body to face her, his eyes dropped and he took another drink.

"Perhaps." She agreed, "But that doesn't mean I didn't want to."

His eyes found her again. He placed his glass on the table before rummaging through his coat pockets to find his cigarettes and matches. He pulled one out for himself before offering her one. She gratefully took it, leaning closer to him as he sparked the match. Sara took a long drag, allowing the smoke to fully enter her lungs before exhaling in his direction. He stared at her as if it was the most erotic sight he had ever seen in his life.

"Say something Mr Shelby." She pleaded.

He placed the cigarette between his lips and inhaled. "Tommy."

Sara watched him intently as he placed the cigarette into the ashtray in front of them. He turned to face her again, resting his elbow on the back of the couch. His arm fell loosely towards her, his fingers grazed the side of her cheek and found themselves wrapped up in her flowing hair. He gazed from her face to his fingers and he felt his lip slightly twitch with a small smile as he enjoyed the softness of her hair against his fingertips. "I think we're a bit beyond Mr Shelby, don't you?"

Sara stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. This man was an enigma to her. She had feeling in her gut that he was dangerous, exciting, unreliable but yet she was entranced by him.

"I think we might be."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Where the fuck did she go?!"

James paced the sitting room, knocking back drink after drink. He demanded answers from the fear stricken maids who genuinely responded that they didn't know where Mrs Lockwood had run off to. They had been just as shocked to see her bolt out of the door, particularly at such a late hour but given the shouting coming from sitting room beforehand, they weren't overly surprised that she wanted to get away. They had been with the Lockwoods since they had been married and never once had Mr Lockwood ever raised his voice the way he had done this evening. At the same time, Elsie – Sara's personal maid – had never seen her looking so scared. The distress in her eyes was clear to see. She just prayed that wherever she had gone, she was safe.

"God dammit!" He yelled again, throwing yet another glass against the wall.

Elsie shook her head, knowing she would yet again have to try and clean shattered glass from the carpet, catching her fingers on the tiny fragments and drawing blood. He watched her clamber to her knees with a fine brush, carefully trying to find all of the pieces.

"Just leave it!" He yelled again. "Just get out."

Elsie got to her feet and scurried off into the scullery, pulling the other maids along with her, getting them out of his way, knowing he would likely take his rage out on them should he catch them watching him. He found himself wandering over to the green leather armchair which sat in the corner of the room and threw himself onto it, loosening his tie and pulling it roughly over his head. He wrapped it tightly around his fingers, as if trying to transfer all his negative energy into it. He bent forward and placed his hands in his heads. How had he let things get so out of control? He had been so frustrated at the fact Sara had refused to speak to him. She had been acting strangely ever since they had arrived and quite frankly, he was getting sick of it. He knew she didn't want to come here but yet, he was giving her everything she could ever want. Didn't he deserve some gratitude for it? He found her selfish and churlish and part of him wondered why he had ever married her. She had been a bit too free spirited for his tastes. When they met, she was at University. What kind of life was that? Her drive and determination to succeed actually irritated him. Wasn't he enough for her? Why did she need to have an education? He would provide a good life for them. He hadn't mentioned it to her but he was quickly getting fed up of her avoidance of having a family. He was forty six years old and certainly wasn't getting any younger and had been sure he would have had two or else three children by now. At the time they had met, he had been courting another but Sara's beauty had astounded him, he had fallen hard for her when they had met and he had broken things off with his other woman. Now, part of him regretted those actions. Had he stayed with her, she would have likely bore his children by now. But yet, here he was, childless, alone, depressed and drinking way more than he should be as a practicing surgeon. Since he had arrived back in London, on more than one occasion, he had noticed his hands shaking gently as he attempted to create an incision into the skin of his patients, an action which he knew hadn't gone unnoticed by his staff. He cursed her for putting him in this position. It was her fault he was like this, her fault he was struggling to function in his day to day life and work, her fault he didn't have a family, her fault he was now sitting alone with no idea where she was. He'd had enough. Standing from the arm chair, he walked to the front door, placed the key in the lock and turned it. If she was coming back, he would know it. And with that, he took himself to bed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara woke suddenly. She glanced around the room, trying to get her bearings. Moonlight shone through the window due to the curtains not being drawn. She lifted her hand and gently rubbed her eyes. It took a few seconds for her to realise she wasn't in her own bed. She sat up, holding the sheet to her body and looked around the room. She could just about tell it was nicely decorated in creams and reds and the bed she was in was large and covered in luxurious fabrics and cushions. Feeling her head start to pound, she lifted her hand again and rubbed it gently, realisation finally sneaking in about where she was. She cautiously looked down below the sheets and was incredibly thankful to see she was still fully dressed. She was just about to step out of bed when a sound coming from the corner of the room startled her. Her eyes slid to the left and it was only then she realised she wasn't alone. Resting in the armchair across the room from her was a sleeping Thomas Shelby. She took a few quiet seconds to really study him, the moonlight bounced off his face, and she knew it was unlikely she would get this opportunity again. He really was beautiful, but it was an unconventional beauty, one that wouldn't be expected of him, but yet he carried it so well, seemingly knowing just how handsome he was given his confidence – or rather arrogance. She stood from the bed and tip toed over to him. A footstool was sat alongside him which he had chosen not to use. She pulled it closer to him and sat down on it. She watched him silently sleep for a bit longer before she had a sudden urge to touch him, thinking back to earlier that evening where he had touched her cheek so tenderly. It had made her tingle all over and she couldn't help but wonder exactly what his skin felt like. Going against her better judgement, she leant closer to him and lifted her hand to his face, her fingertips lightly grazed his cheek bones. Her breath was caught up in her throat as her fingers traced the line of his cheekbones down to the corner of his lips. Her thumb lightly caressed his bottom lip and just as she did so, his eyes shot open, his hand grasped her wrist tightly and his other hand grabbed onto the revolver rested against his side.

"Tommy." She gasped, taken aback by his reaction "Its just me."

His eyes were wide, almost with terror. It was a look she had never seen on him.

"Tommy…" she repeated, placing her hand on his which was still squeezing her wrist.

Eventually he blinked. His eyes narrowed towards her, seemingly adjusting to the darkness around them.

"Sara?"

"Yes Tommy, its just me. Please, let my wrist go, you're hurting me." Tears started to form in her eyes.

He automatically released her wrist. Usually he had no issues with hurting anyone but this time felt different. He felt his emotions running high. Emotions which he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since France. Not since Grace. _Regret?_ He felt the heat building up inside his body. He knew he had been dreaming again. He could remember the familiar scraping against the walls, so close to him. And when he felt her hand touch his face, he panicked. He thought they had finally broken through those walls. They were finally here, ready to kill him. But now, he was back in London. Back in Ada's home. And back with Sara Lockwood, the woman who confused him no end, confused his feelings and his heart. His heart that he thought he no longer had. Looking back towards her, she looked mystified, as though trying to understand him, trying to read his mind. Unable to control those emotions anymore, he grabbed her arms again but this time, it wasn't in anger. He needed her. Perhaps more than he thought he needed Grace, or May. Taken aback, she allowed herself to be pulled to her feet by him, unable to react in time. His eyes burned into hers and his grip turned softer, his fingers stroking the soft skin underneath them. Her hair was tousled and fell around her shoulders, glistening under the moonlight. Her mouth was slightly open and she was gently panting, her heart was racing underneath her tight dress so hard that she was sure he could hear it. The tension in the room was high and they both could feel it.

"Tommy…." She gasped.

"Shhhh."

He silenced her by lifting his hand from her arm and pressing his index finger gently against her lips. He held it there for a second before pulling it down and replacing it with his lips. She exhaled into his mouth, stunned by his sudden assault on her mouth. Despite his hard exterior and demeaner, his lips were soft. Sara felt her whole body tense as he pulled her to him, pressing her chest against his own and wrapping his arms tightly around her body. After a moment, she became accustomed to his touch and felt herself melt into him, her arms finding their way around the waist band of his trousers, pulling him closer. Her eyes had closed, getting completely lost in the moment. She hadn't felt a kiss like this before, full of passion, excitement and lust. Thoughts wrapped around in her mind about how different this felt. How it was the polar opposite of kissing James.

 _James._

"No. Tommy….."

She pulled her lips from him and lifted her hand up against his chest, forcing a gap in between them. He looked surprised, almost irate that she had dared stop them.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry." She pulled out of his grasp and walked back over to the bed. "I know I've been giving you mixed signals. I know I have given you the impression that I want this and for that I apologise. But I can't go down this road. It isn't fair to my husband."

"Fair?" He spat. "You want to talk about fair? Is that fair?"

She glanced to where he was now pointing. Her eyes fell down towards the skin just above her elbow and she could see under the moonlight that the bruises she had been expecting had now started to form.

"He didn't mean it. He was just angry. I provoked him." She stuttered. "But despite all that, he's a good man. He doesn't deserve me treating him like this and he certainly doesn't deserve to be deceived in this manner. I'm sorry."

"This isn't you and you know that. I know you're stronger than that." He walked towards her again and gently rested his hands on her shoulders. "You are acting as though you are controlled by him but I know that's not true. Despite only knowing you for a very short time, I can see it."

Listening to his words, she was stunned by how well he seemed to know her already. Even James didn't understand her as well as this. Tommy seemed to know she was made of strong stuff and a lot more capable than James gave her credit for. She glanced up at him, feeling incredibly self conscious under his watchful gaze. The blueness of his eyes shone brightly under the moonlight and Sara felt herself get lost in them yet again. Her heart and her head were continuing to argue with each other until she could take no more of it. She shook her shoulders, forcing his hands to fall from them and stepped back from him.

"Please, Tommy. Leave me."

She was strong in her words. She no longer sounded like the timid creature she had been when he had first brought her back. Her eyes met his, refusing to back down from him. She could feel him growing more and more exasperated but she knew if she allowed him closer to her, she wouldn't be able to let him go. It was frustrating to her. _Who was this man?_ She couldn't comprehend why he had such a hold over her. She barely knew him and yet she was mesmerised. He stepped back from her, his mouth had fallen open slightly, turned and stalked towards the door, slamming it behind him. She took a step backwards until her legs found the edge of the bed and then allowed herself to sit down, her hands placed on the mattress, trying to catch her breath. She knew in the back of her mind this wasn't the answer. Even if she wasn't meant to be with James, jumping into bed with Tommy wasn't going to fix anything, other than make her feel cheap. Sara lay back down on the bed, closed her eyes, willing herself to fall back asleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He threw open door of the sitting room, having stormed back down the stairs. He was frustrated, both in his head and sexually. Lifting his cigarettes and matches from the table where he had left them earlier, he sat down on the couch and lit his first of many, knocking back the whisky he had also poured himself. He thought back to the last few hours. They had sat together for some time, not really talking, just existing together. But there had been no awkwardness, no uncomfortable silence. It was unsettling to think he had been able to spend so much time with a woman without something happening between them. He didn't socialise very much with woman who were outside of his family unless he was fucking them so this was a strange turn of events, one that he struggled to wrap his head around. He thought back to his time with Grace but even then, he couldn't think of one time they had spent together which hadn't involved business or sex. They had never just sat together, never just talked. He hadn't really ever opened up to her, didn't divulge anything about his life outside of the Peaky Blinders and he certainly had never spoken about his time in France. But yet, with Sara, he felt differently, as though he could bare his soul to her. But something had stopped him, he was worried it would scare her off, if he had been so honest with her. He sensed she was hiding something, not just from him but from everyone – her husband included – call it gypsy instinct if you like.

Taking another drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray, he slouched down and rested the back of his head against the top of the couch and closed his eyes.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara awoke for the second time that night, only this time, she knew she was alone. She had sent Tommy away and now she had no idea where in the house he was. She glanced out the window and could see the faint reds and yellows starting to illuminate the skyline indicating that sunrise was certainly on its way. She stood up and quietly walked over to the fire place to check the clock which sat on the surround. _Almost 5am._ Looking around the room, she noticed her shoes were sitting at the foot of the bed but she couldn't see her coat. Remembering Tommy had lifted it from her lap the night before, she knew it would be unlikely she would be able to get it if he was in the sitting room. Slipping her shoes on, she walked towards the wardrobe which settled in the corner of the room and slowly opened the door, trying desperately not to make it creak. Peeking in, she was in luck. Rows of coats and shawls hung inside. She lifted the first one she came to and wrapped it around herself, promising she would return to Ada as soon as possible, although how she would explain herself, she didn't yet know. Turning towards the bedroom door, Sara tiptoed as quietly as she could, turning the knob and slowly pulling it open. To ensure the coast was clear, she carefully glanced either way. Satisfied Tommy wasn't around, she stepped out onto the landing and started to make her way down the winding staircase, taking care not to step on any creaky floorboards. As she reached the bottom, she remembered Tommy leaving the key sitting on the table closest to the door. She glanced around again, ensuring he had not suddenly appeared, before making her way towards the front door, lifting the key and unlocking it. The cold air hit her face hard and she pulled the coat tightly around her body. Her heart sank slightly as she glimpsed back over the hallway, almost willing Thomas to appear in front of her, beg her not to go. Shaking her head to herself, she turned back towards the street and pulled the door slowly closed. _Thomas wasn't the kind of man to beg. He must have women constantly throwing themselves at him._ She thought to herself as she locked the door again and posted the key back through the letter box as quietly as she could before making her way back down the street towards her home, unsure of what would await her there.


	8. Chapter 8

She sat down at the long wooden desk and pulled the large lined book towards her, carefully inputting the numbers from Alfie's most recent account settlements.

She looked up at him and smiled, nodding her head. It had been a long day and she was grateful for the company. He nodded his head towards his own office, beckoning her to join him. She dropped the pen on the table and stood from her chair, following him through, gratefully accepting the glass from him as she stepped into the room. He held out the chair for her and she felt herself fall into it.

"No airs an' grace's wi' you eh?" He laughed at her, lifting his hat from his head and placing it on the table.

True, she felt she was herself when she was around Alfie. A way that she couldn't be with James. It had been two weeks since they had fought. She thought back to that night, after sneaking back to the house, she was despaired to discover James had locked their front door. Not wanting to wake him, she had run around the terraced block to the back of the house, knowing that her maids would already be up. She had knocked gently on the basement door hoping one of them would hear her.

"Miss!" Elsie exclaimed. "We've been worried about you. Come in out of the cold."

Having never been able to really get to know her staff, she suddenly felt uncomfortable at Elsie fussing around her.

"Are you alright Mrs Lockwood? Can I get you something? Some tea?"

She sat down on one of the wooden stools that were dotted around the room. Sara assumed they sat on them when washing clothes. Before she knew it, the tears she had been holding back all night were flowing freely down her cheeks.

"Oh Mrs Lockwood, don't cry." Elsie placed her hand inside her apron, lifting out a clean handkerchief and handing it to her which she gratefully took and wiped her eyes. She stayed down there for hours, not wanting to face James. He likely didn't know she was home yet and Sara wanted to savour that moment for a bit longer before she had to face the music. Eventually though she had to make her way upstairs. James had been surprisingly calm when they had come face to face. He didn't enquire as to her whereabouts or question the coat she wore which he knew wasn't hers. He had simply watched her come into the dining room and sit back down at the table, almost picking up exactly where they had left off. Sara had been quietly impressed when she had entered. Anyone visiting wouldn't have known anything had happened there the night before. The walls had been cleaned, the glass picked up and the table cleared. She waited on his tirade but it never came. He had finished his breakfast, got up from his chair, kissed her on the forehead and left the house with the cheery salutation. She should have been happy to not have had to deal with another argument but deep down, she was angry. Why didn't he ever fight for her? She had more passion in her little finger than he did in his entire body and she hated it. She hated his lackadaisical attitude, his stubbornness and his ability to sweep problems under the carpet. They never truly dealt with their emotions or feelings and Sara knew that wasn't healthy. She had thought back over the last couple of years and quickly realised they had never really had an argument, never had a disagreement. Up until the previous night, Sara didn't even know his voice could raise that high. It wasn't normal. And whilst it had been two weeks since her fight with James, that wasn't what was bothering her. It was the fact it had also been two weeks since she had seen Tommy. She had taken Ada's coat back around to her a few days later, truly in the hope that he might be there, but she was disappointed. Coming up with a weak excuse that she had been locked out and Tommy had been gracious enough to offer her a coat until a locksmith could arrive. She wasn't sure if she bought it, weakly smiling as she had taken the coat from her. She had asked if they could have coffee one afternoon, desperately trying to make the effort to make a friend. Despite her hard exterior, Ada had actually looked grateful for the company. During their conversation, she had discovered that Tommy had gone back to Birmingham to try and deal with the family issues he had alluded to that night. Ada had also let slip about the small fact that Tommy had been seen getting close to his horse trainer, a fact which caused Sara to feel as though she had been punched in the stomach. After that, she had avoided meeting Ada anywhere near their homes on the off chance she might run into him.

"Darlin'?" Alfie's voice barged into her thoughts, bringing her back to the present. "Are you alright? You ain't been yourself lately."

Sara knocked back the now refilled drink and nodded. "I'm fine Alfie, just tired."

They had been working together for almost a month and had now entered a new stage of their working relationship which meant they no longer used formalities with each other. He was starting to trust her with more information about the company and Sara had become well versed in the whisky they were producing under the pretence of the bakery which actually surrounded them. She hadn't seen Sabini back at the factory and she no longer seen accounts for the Peaky Blinders and she had wondered if the two were related but Alfie had refused to tell her anything else about the Blinders, other than they fact they were a dangerous gang based in Birmingham. He wouldn't tell her any names or what type of business they were in or what Alfie's involvement had been with them. It irritated her.

"I should get back to work Alfie." She stood from the chair and placed the glass down in front of her.

Alfie clapped his hands together and lifted his feet up and rested them on the edge of the table. "Well! Sweetness, you are doin' a fantastic job. The books have never looked so good. I might even give ya a raise."

Sara turned towards him. "Thank you Alfie."

"No! Thank. You." He slurred, raising his glass up to her.

She nodded, smiling at him, before turning around and walking out the door and back into her own office. She sat down in the chair and pulled the book back towards her. She flicked through the pages until her eyes finally settled on a final receipt which she had previously missed. She scanned over the information in front of her. It yet again mentioned the Peaky Blinders. Sara sighed, still clueless as to their involvement with Alfie and she was about to file it with the rest when a name caught her eye.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He thought back to the long winding drive he had taken back to May Carleton's estate, his head had been racing with everything that had been going on in his life over the last few weeks. Between problems with the business, his family falling apart, his confusion around his feelings for May and then there was Sara. When did his life get so complicated? Who was he kidding, his life was always complicated. It just hadn't bothered him up until now. As for May, he felt different this time. He ensured he had enough petrol in his car before making the trip. He couldn't continue on with her knowing she wanted more. His heart screamed to be noticed and now he was finally listening to it, despite his better judgement telling him otherwise. He knew breaking things off with May was the right thing to do but that didn't guarantee any further relationship with Sara. She was married after all, she lived in London, she was potentially out of his league but yet he wanted to try.

They had walked through the grounds together surrounded by stablemen moving the horses. She had urged him to follow her to the water trough settled in the middle of the courtyard. There he saw she had taken his advice about adding goldfish to the water to stop the horses from getting worms. He had kept his head low, his demeaner towards her clearly different from the last time they had been in each others company. He could tell she was concerned at his coldness towards her. She had offered him a bed for the night and at that point he knew he had to deal with this.

"May, we have to stop. This. I came here to tell you we have to stop."

She had questioned him, assuming his reasons were more to do with their social standing than anything else. At that point he had made the admission to her.

"There's someone."

Her eyes had shown him exactly how she felt. He had tried to make her feel better, insisting the business relationship they had wouldn't change. Despite what he had told her, she seemed happy to still allow him to stay. That confused him. Women confused him. She had admitted she couldn't back down from him, because of her people, what would they say? She alluded to the fact that many knew about them, despite his understanding. He had started to walk away from her, ready to leave her behind but something in him stopped him at first and he came back, resting his foot on the edge of the water trough watching the fish.

"Who is she?"

He hadn't been surprised at her question, more so by her response to his answer.

"Someone who's sailing away."

"So let her sail. You've told me about her like a gentleman, now kindly behave like a gangster again."

Then she had kissed him. At that point he knew he had made the right decision, despite her promises that she would win him. His body had stiffened and he could barely return her affections. Knowing his choice was made, he had ambled back to his car to make the long journey back to Birmingham.

He couldn't think about that now. He was quickly brought back to the present by the sound of Campbell's voice wittering away. He had been angry about the explosion at Field Marshall Russell's house which meant his original plan of Thomas breaking into his house could no longer work. Exactly what Thomas had wanted. If he had to carry out this assassination, he wanted it on his terms./p

"Where and when?" he demanded.

Tommy smirked. "Epson. Derby Day."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Her mind had been going at a million miles an hour for the last two weeks. _Was Thomas somehow involved with the Peaky Blinders?_ She had been working within Alfie's distillery for almost two months and she had never so much as seen Tommy come near. Surely had they been doing business, she would have seen him? She had continued to avoid him after she had rejected his advances that night, desperately hoping that she and James would arrive back at some normality, but it hadn't come. James' whole demeaner had completely changed since they had arrived in London. He was drinking excessively. Not an unusual occurrence in Britain at that time but in the months before they had relocated, James had barely touched a drop of alcohol. The Eighteenth Amendment had seen to that. Prohibition had been a difficult concept for many and she was well aware that people were using illegal means to get a hold of it, but James had never seemed that fazed about it but now, being here, having it so readily available to him, he seemed to never have a glass out his hand. His agitation levels were constantly high, and he seemed to relish picking an argument with his wife over the smallest of things. The maids seemed to be constantly running scared of him, barely looking him in the eye in case he blew up at them. Sara's stress levels were quickly increasing. She was constantly on edge, not sure what kind of mood he was going to be in when he came home from work and she had seen that in the recent days, she had found solitude at work, choosing to spend as much time there as she could purely so she could avoid the uncomfortable atmosphere which waited for her at home.

But yet, despite everything that was going on at home, her mind never strayed far away from Mr Shelby. Her feelings confused her. She had chosen to walk away from him that night, but she toyed with the idea that she had made a grave mistake. And then to hear from Ada that she believed Tommy was courting his horse trainer made her sick to her stomach. Partly because she couldn't quite believe he had moved on so quickly from her. Sure, nothing had really happened between them other than the kiss they had shared but she thought deep down, she meant something more to him. The way he had touched her cheek and ran his fingers through her hair was incredibly tender. Was she kidding herself that it meant as much to him as it did to her? Had he been toying with her? Taking advantage of her clear vulnerability? She was unhappy in her marriage, alone in a strange country. Had he played on this? Trying to test her to see how far he could push her? Her heart ached at the very thought of it. The thought that he could be anything other than this kind, affectionate, compassionate man troubled her. Was she really such a bad judge of character? Or was he purely nursing a bruised ego at the fact she had rejected him? He could easily seek her out should he feel the need for it but that fact that she lived only three doors away from his sister and yet, still made no attempt to contact her told her everything she needed to know. _Thomas Shelby had clearly moved on._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tommy. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but you better fuckin' snap out of it."

Tommy put his head in his hands, the impending migraine was almost upon him when Ada came storming into her sitting room. Between Campbell breathing down his neck, trying to keep his brothers out of trouble and his anguish at how things had been left between him and Sara, he felt as though his head was going to explode. The last thing he needed now was aggravation from his sister.

"Ada. I promise you, I don't need this right now." He lifted his head to light a cigarette, inhaling deeply as he willed the pain to disappear.

"Whatever it is you're involved in, just tell us. You never let anyone in." Ada sighed, sitting down beside him. "We love you Tom."

He stood from the chair and pulled his jacket on, pacing through the rooms until he reached the front door, leaving her standing on the doorstep.

"Tommy!" She yelled after him in exasperation

He adjusted the cap and pulled it down over his eyes, squinting in the sunlight. Despite moving into Summer, It wasn't usual for so much sun to be shining down on London at this time of year given the heavy smog that usually hung above the rooftops but today seemed to be different, something was off. The upcoming Epsom derby was playing on his mind and he knew he would need to accept the possibility that he might not make it out alive. That morning he had written a letter, setting out exactly what he had been asked to do and making it clear that his family had no involvement in the killing and how he believed the Government would falsely blame the anti-treaty IRA resulting in the start of civil war in Ireland. He named Campbell as the instigator of the assassination and urged he is brought to justice. He had left the letter in Ada's possession before she had started ranting at him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She took advantage of the quiet afternoon she had. She knew Alfie would be gone for the rest of the day and curiousity was niggling at her. Opening her drawer, she lifted the spare set of keys Alfie had left with her, a lapse of judgement on his behalf perhaps, and made her way into his office. She closed the door behind her, knowing she would not be disturbed. The workers had been warned not to give her any trouble so she knew they wouldn't dare question her need to be there. Scanning the room, her eyes settled on the large desk which Alfie frequented. Taking a deep breath, she made her way around and sat down in his chair before starting to unlock each drawer in turn. She was determined to find out what she could on Tommy's involvement with Alfie and the Peaky Blinders, not sure that she would like what she would find. Opening the top right drawer, her eyes fell onto the gun which Alfie always kept stowed in case of trouble. She had seen him using it as a bargaining tool on more than one occasion and there was a few instances when he had seen fit to use it, regularly causing her to jump up from her chair in her own office whenever the gun shots rang out. She had never quite got used to the sound of a bullet escaping it chamber and nestling itself within a mans head. A chill ran over her as she closed the drawer over and moved onto the next one. She spent almost an hour trailing through mounds of paper work, desperate to find something which would prove useful to her. She had almost given up until she started searching through the cabinet which sat at the opposite side of the room. Within one of the drawers there, she discovered a small black box, buried at the back under old newspapers. Lifting it out, she walked back over to the desk and placed it down in front of her, taking her seat again. Her fingernails ran around the edges, trying to find an opening but it was hopeless. She lifted it up and looked carefully around it before her eyes finally settled on a small lock at the back. _Bingo._ She lifted up the keys which were now lying on the table and quickly examined them all, trying to find one small enough to fit the lock. Placing the smallest key inside, she turned it, smiling as she heard the lock click. Pulling the key back out, she slowly lifted the lid off the box and started rummaging through the papers inside. Her trained eyes scanned the words until she finally found the ones she was looking for. _Tommy Shelby_. _Peaky Blinders._

The words she saw written on the paper were from the meeting Alfie had with Sabini some time ago. Having listened up against the wall, she could hear most of their conversation. She remembered how they had agreed to work in partnership and were going to war with the gypsies. At the time, she hadn't known anything about Tommy. But now, seeing this in black and white made her blood turn cold. She lifted the paper over and gasped as she came across Tommy's name in big black bold letters. At the side, there were several crosses drawn along with the letters RIP and a date. _31 May 1922?_ Sara recoiled from the box, dropping the papers onto the table in a heap. _31 May?_ _That was two days away._ Realising what the information was telling her, Sara quickly piled it all back into the box, locked it and put it back in the drawer. Looking around to ensure everything was back in its correct place, she closed the door over and made her way back to her office. She looked up at the clock realising it was almost 6pm, she knew she was running out of time. She had to find Tommy, she had to warn him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two days later, a familiar figure walked through the smoky streets of Camden Town. Dressed in his regular attire, his cap was low and he walked with purpose carrying a brown leather satchel. He had pulled Ada's friend along for the ride, warning him not to say a word other than what they had already discussed. They approached the distillery and were met by a recognisable face.

"Hello Ollie." Tommy said cheerfully, walking straight past him.

Ollie looked up, not overly surprised to see Thomas but was caught off guard by the stranger following him.

"Hang on!" he called after him as Tommy strode towards the door. "Just you yeah? He stays out here."

Tommy nodded, leaving the boy behind and following Ollie inside. He walked through the bakery, pausing only to tie his shoe lace before finally making his way into Alfie's office. Tommy sat down and waited. Alfie was sat across from him, his feet placed across the table and his hat pulled down on his head, cigarette hanging precariously from his fingers. As suspected, the phone soon started ringing.

"That'll probably be for you, won't it." It wasn't so much a question and Alfie didn't look up from the papers he was reading.

Tommy stood from his chair and lifted the handset to his ear. He answered it to the expected call from his brother, indicating he had been picked up from the prison by Johnny Dogs. Saying nothing else, he hung up the phone and sat back down.

Tommy, now well aware that Alfie had struck up a deal with Sabini, knew he had to get him back on side if he was going to make his plan for Epsom work. Making a deal to transfer part of his business across to Solomons had been the way around that. Now, sitting here, waiting on him signing the contract he had prepared, he was more than pissed when Alfie produced a secondary document demanding one hundred percent of Tommy's business.

"That's funny, that is. I'll give you one hundred percent of my business." A smirk appeared on his face.

Alfie stared him down. "Yeah." He answered, uttering no more.

"Why?"

Tommy had seen it coming before it even happened. Ollie appeared at Alfie's side, gun raised, pointing directly at his temple.

"Ollie, no." Alfie reached his hand up and pulled the young mans gun down. "No, no, put that down. He understands. He understands. He's a big boy, he knows the ropes. Now look." Alfie addressed him once more. "It's just non fucking negotiable. That's all you need to know. So all you have to do is sign the fucking contract."

Expecting the turn of events, Tommy nodded his head and extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray in front of him. "Well I have an associate waiting for me at the door. I know he looks like a quiet boy but he his actually an anarchist form Kentish town."

"Tommy." Alfie was getting frustrated now. "I'm going to fucking shoot you. Right?"

Ignoring him, Tommy continued. "Now, when I came in here Mr Solomons, I stopped to tie my shoe lace. Isn't that a fact, Ollie?" He turned his head to look at the man. He laughed to himself. This man who had held a gun to his head not two minutes previous was now looking a deathly shade of white. "I stopped to tie my shoe lace. And while I was doing it, I laid a hand grenade under one of your barrels."

He now had Alfie's attention, explaining more about the associate outside. "If I don't walk out that door by the stroke of 7, he's gonna trigger the grenade and your very combustible room will blow us all to hell and I don't care, cos I'm already dead."

Ollie began panicking, confirming to Alfie that all Tommy was saying was true.

"And what were you doing when this happened? What were you doing?" Ollie stood, saying nothing until Alfie handed him the gun which he had previously taken from him, instructing him to go out and shoot the boy standing outside.

"If anyone walks through that door except me, he blows the grenade."

The shift in atmosphere was clear, especially when Alfie reduced the demand down to sixty five percent to which Tommy quickly rebuffed.

"He planted a grenade, I know he did." Ollie's voice broke through the silence. "Alfie, he's Tommy fucking Shelby."

He'd had enough. Alfie got to his feet, grapping onto the lapels of his jacket and almost lifted him off the ground. "You're behaving like a fucking child. This is a mans world. Take your apron off and sit in the corner like a little boy. Fuck off. Now."

After handing him the pin to the grenade, Alfie's change of heart came through. "forty five percent."

"Thirty."

"Oh fuck off Tommy. That's far too little."

Finally agreeing on thirty five percent, they stood and shook hands. Tommy left him standing behind, almost scratching his head as he made his way outside, reuniting with his brothers.

"Lets go to the derby boys!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 _After finding herself running through the streets of Camden, she had finally arrived at Ada's front door. The note in Alfie's drawer told her everything she needed to know. There was a price on Thomas Shelby's head and she knew she had to warn him. Despite it meaning her going against her boss, she knew she didn't have a choice. Ada hadn't been able to provide her with much information to Tommy's whereabouts that day. All she knew was he was heading to Epsom the coming Wednesday as his horse was one of the runners._

Being unable to locate him prior to May 31st, she knew her only hope was to follow him to Epsom. Now, sitting on the train, her heart was pounding faster with each mile she grew closer to the racetrack, part of it racing for the worry she felt and the other – the thought of seeing Tommy again. She hadn't seen him since that fateful night and now, knowing what she knew, she wished she could take it back. She wished she could go back to that night and relive it and this time, she wouldn't push him away, she wouldn't let him go. She would allow him to do everything to her that she knew he wanted to do. She had been living in hell ever since that day and despite telling herself that she loved James, she knew she wasn't in love with him. And if she was honest with herself, she doubted she ever had been. It had been a marriage of convenience. Two of the most well-respected families in New York coming together was ideal, a match made in heaven. She couldn't deny James had been good to her, but he wasn't the man for her, and his behaviour over the last few weeks just further confirmed her suspicions. He had barely spoken to her, other than when they were out in public, and even then, it was strained. When he did finally speak to her, there was anger in his voice. Gone was the quiet, soft spoken man she married, and in his place was an angry, egotistical tyrant. She found most nights, she was crying herself to sleep but James, being in such a drunken stupor, never noticed anyway.

Now, she glanced around as she made her way through the crowds, drawing attention from the men she passed. She stood apart from many of the other women in her turquoise satin beaded dress. The dropped hemline suited her figure perfectly and her nude heels elongated her toned legs. Her blonde hair was curled tightly, grazing the tops of her shoulders and covered with a large black hat. Despite it almost being June, there was a slight chill in the air and she pulled the fur lapels of her long coat closer to her body. She made her way inside the bar, trying not to draw any additional attention to herself, her eyes scanned the room, desperately trying to locate him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"She threw a shoe coming out of the box."

Tommy walked towards the horse, reaching his hand out to gently graze her neck, his ever present cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Hey." He spoke softly to her. "She looks in fine shape." He called to no one in particular. Making his way around to the front, his voice dropped again as he whispered to the animal.

"Go and drink. Enjoy the day, I'll come and find you when the race is done." Tommy moved to May's side, both watching the horse until his eyes finally fell on the dress she had hanging up.

"That's nice, is it yours?" He asked.

She turned to face him. "My mother wore it to the derby in 1895. She was presented to Queen Victoria."

She offered to come and meet him after the race to which he agreed. But to her, his eyes deceived him.

"You don't want me to join you. Its fine, ill sit down here in the mud." Trying to inject some humour into the situation, she turned away from him.

He twisted his body towards her and pulled her in for a kiss, despite knowing he couldn't be involved with her again. He recognised he may not make it out alive today and wanted them to part on the right terms.

"Whatever happens today, it was good."

Promising to find her later, he left her in the stable and made his way back upstairs to the bar.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She examined every face as it entered, desperately trying to get a glimpse of anyone who could be Tommy. Watching the entrance intently, her breath caught in her throat as a familiar figure appeared. _Sabini._ She quickly turned her body away, knowing he would likely recognise her should his eyes land on her. Glancing out from under her hat, she breathed a sigh of relief as she watched him and his entourage disappear from sight. She turned back to the bar and ordered another drink, almost taking it in one as soon as the barman put it down in front of her. Looking over to her right, a tall gentleman stood, in full military uniform. He removed his hat and lit a cigarette and she could see him gazing over to a table on the other side of the room. A young woman sat, alone. Smiling to herself, she turned back round, finished her drink and walked towards the door. As she appeared outside, she felt the sun start to heat up and the earlier chilliness had disappeared. Letting her coat fall slightly open, she took in a deep breath, closing her eyes as the music playing from the grounds soothed her. Letting her eyelashes flutter open, she began making her way down the staircase. As she reached the bottom, a man passed by a few steps in front of her. As if on autopilot, her body betrayed her, refusing to make any further steps until her eyes had taken in his full figure. Long black coat, strong jaw line, high cheekbones, striking blue eyes and the trademark black peaked cap.

 _Tommy._

Finally, her brain connected with her legs, and she pushed her way through the crowd towards him. Without saying a word, her gloved hand reached out and grasped his. Startled, he spun around towards her. There was a look in his eyes she didn't recognise. _Anger? Fear?_ She wasn't sure which. All she knew was the relief she felt at finally finding him.

"Sara? What are you doing here?" He spoke quickly.

Her hand gripped his tighter, entwining her fingers through his. "I have to talk to you."

"Can it wait?" he pleaded.

"No. Its about Alfie. And Sabini. Its urgent. I have to speak with you." She was almost begging now.

He looked around quicky before tightening his fingers around hers and pulling her behind the staircase, out of sight.

"What's wrong?" He asked, still not releasing her hand.

"He plans to betray you. I found papers. Solomons and Sabini. They're out to get you. Here." Sara stuttered out each word, her breath hitching in her throat each time she opened her mouth.

"What are you talking about?" He looked confused, trying to understand what she was saying.

She lifted her other hand up and rested it on his chest. "Alfie had a meeting with Sabini a few weeks ago. They made a deal."

Realisation finally hitting him, Tommy drew her closer to him, his voice low. "I know."

Looking up at him, her eyes bore into his. "What are you talking about Tommy?"

"It's all alright, I swear to you Sara. I knew about it. But I met with Solomons this morning and a further deal was made. Sabini went back on his word. Not a good thing to do to a man like Alfie Solomons. Wait a second….how do you know this?"

She took a breath. "I work for him Tommy. I do his books. Have done since I arrived. I had no idea you were involved with the Peaky Blinders. When I heard them talking, I knew I had to try and find out what they were planning. So I…went through Alfie's things, to try and find anything I could which would help" She admitted.

Tommy clenched his jaw, trying to work out how he felt about this information. True, they hadn't had much time to get to know each other in the few times they had met but he was still surprised to hear she was working for a man like Solomons. He was even more surprised that Sara had put herself at risk like this for him. He could only imagine how Alfie would have reacted, knowing she had been going through his things. Lifting his hand up to graze her cheek with his fingers, he let a rare smile creep onto his lips. "Have you come all this way to tell me that?"

She nodded, her eyes closed and her head tilted to the side, relishing the feeling of his touch. "I was so worried. I thought something was going to happen to you. I had to warn you."

He looked around again, satisfied that no eyes were on them, and pulled her to him. Her body was flush against his and he could feel the softness of her breasts pressing up against him. He released her hand and rested both of his palms against her cheeks. Her eyelids slowly opened as she finally met his gaze. He stared down at her for what felt like hours before gently pulling her face towards his and letting his lips claim hers. Thinking back to the night they had spent together, something was different this time. Something in her kiss felt different. There was an urgency, a passion, fire within her and he felt it when her hands slipped under his coat and onto his waist. Finally letting her go, he moved to the side of her head, his lips parallel with her earrings.

"I will find you. Once the race is over. I will come looking for you. But I have to deal with something right now." He pulled away, not before leaving one final kiss on her lips, and made his way back towards the bar.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She stood within the betting room, leaning up against one of the windows. She felt like she had waited for ever for him. People came and went and the room started to quieten down. She could hear commotion coming from outside and smoke was billowing up into the sky. She couldn't help but think that perhaps Tommy had something to do with it. She glanced around until her eyes fell upon a beautiful woman wandering into the room. She was dressed in a striking red dress and her hair was pinned loosely away from her face. She watched as the woman crossed her path and stood a few feet away from her. Her eyes were glancing around the room, similar to her own. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a man entering and making his way to the woman on her left.

"Mrs Carleton."

"Mr Shelby. Do you have any idea where your brother is?" The woman asked.

Sara's ear pricked up at the sound of the name. She glanced over the man and realised he was wearing similar clothes to Tommy. Similar coat and peaked hat. The brother reference made sense.

"Haven't seen 'im. Although he was dealing with some business. If you see 'im before me, let 'im know me an' Arthur are looking for 'im." He grinned, the toothpick rolling around his lip. "So, you and Tommy a thing now?"

"I'm not about to discuss my relationship with your brother with you, Mr Shelby." She sighed lightly and turned away from him, making her way back in the direction she had come from.

Sara's stomach wretched at the thought. She let out a small, almost inaudible gasp, but enough for John to lift his eyes over her. Seemingly satisfied with what he saw, he gave her a small smile and a wink before making his way out of the room. She watched as the woman disappeared from view and argued with herself as to whether she should go after her. The exchange between the two had indicated that this woman and Tommy had had some kind of relationship. Suddenly, the realisation hit her. Remembering back to the conversation she'd had with Ada, she recalled her mentioning Tommy's horse trainer and how they had been seen getting close. Her stubbornness stopped her from following Mrs Carleton, knowing that if she did, the response she would get would likely destroy her. Looking around once more, accepting that Thomas wasn't coming, she pulled her coat closer to her body and made her way outside, determined she wouldn't wait any longer.

 **A/N – Thank you everyone who has taken the time to leave me a review. There's a few on there and I really appreciate them. This fic was only following season 2 and as I have no Grace, I am going to leave the storyline from the show now. There may still be mentions of the Russians etc but I'm no longer going to be following the normal storyline. Please let me know how you think it's going and if there's anything in particular you'd like to see. I'm trying to make this more my own story rather than just the shows so I'm open to suggestions! Thanks again**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Her whole body shook as the door slammed closed behind him, almost shaking the house down to its foundations. The sitting room door creaked open and she could just about make out Elsie's head peeking around looking for her. She refused to look up, choosing to keep her head down towards the table. A cigarette sat in between in her middle and index fingers, smoke billowing from the tip. She didn't usually smoke, but the events of the last few days had caused her to reach for a nicotine fix, not realising just how much it would soothe her.

"Mrs Lockwood?" Elsie asked tentatively, not sure if she should disturb her. Sara had barely spoken a word in days and she was growing increasingly worried about her. Elsie had a daughter about Sara's age and she couldn't help but feel maternal towards her, despite their working relationship.

Sara took another drag of the cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray. She lasted a full thirty seconds before reaching for the packet and lit another. Using the heel of her hand, she rubbed gently at her cheek, wiping away the tears that had stained her skin. "Yes?" she whispered.

"Can I get you something?" Elsie slowly walked into the room. Her employer had barely come out of her room and this was the first time she was able to get close to her.

Sara shook her head, taking in another long drag. She slightly turned to face her, causing Elsie to stop in her tracks.

"Ma'am!" Seeing her face for the first time, she couldn't believe the sight that greeted her. "Are you alright?"

Turning her head back to face out the window, she nodded, not saying a word. "I don't need anything Elsie, thank you. Please return to your duties."

Knowing not to speak out of turn, the maid simply nodded her head and turned away. She had started to make her descent down the stairs when she heard a knock at the door. Straightening out her apron, she made her way back up the steps and along the long hall way until her hand reached the door knob. Pulling it open, ready to make excuses to ensure the visitor would leave, she was taken aback as the figure pushed her way into the hallway.

"Is Mrs Lockwood home?"

Hearing Ada's voice, Sara got to her feet, stubbing out the cigarette as she did. She made her way to the sitting room door and pulled it open slightly.

"I'm sorry but Mrs Lockwood isn't receiving…."

"That's alright Elsie." Sara called from behind the door. "Let her in."

Ada smiled to the woman as she made her way inside, pulling off her gloves and hat as she went.

"Sara?" She smiled.

Taking a deep breath, Sara turned to face her. Ada's face turned an eerie chalk white as she took in the appearance of her friend.

Rushing towards her, she lifted her hand to Sara's face, placing her fingers upon her cheek, causing her to shrink backwards, pain searing through her.

"What 'appened to ya?" Concern was clear in Ada's voice.

"I fell." Sara lied, not wanting a scene.

"My arse."

Unable to stop from laughing, she let out a chuckle, instantly regretting it as the pain hit again.

"Tell me the truth."

Sara's eyes dropped, unable to look her friend in the face. "James wasn't happy that I disappeared for a day."

"When did you disappear? Why?" Ada sat down on the couch, motioning for Sara to join her.

Doing as she asked, Sara dropped onto the seat next to her and pulled two cigarettes from her packet, lighting them both and passing one over. "I went to Epsom."

Ada's brow furrowed. "Why would you go to Epsom?"

"For Tommy."

"Tommy?" she questioned.

Sara could only nod.

"What's goin' on wi' you and our Tommy?" Ada placed her hand on Sara's, trying to reassure her she wasn't there to judge.

"Nothing. At least, not now. I thought there was something, but I was wrong. Very wrong. I'm not meant to be like this. I'm not a timid creature, I'm strong but ever since I came here, I feel out of sorts. Not quite myself. James isn't the man I thought he was. And then…there's your brother."

Not wanting to interrupt, somehow knowing Sara had a lot to get off her chest, Ada simply sat back in the couch and listened to her.

"Something has been building up, between Tommy and I, for weeks. I found something out about Epsom, and I had to warn him. So, I went there. I didn't tell James. I just hopped on a train after he went to work. I managed to find him, and I told him what I knew but it seems as though I was too late. He already knew and had already fixed it. But that's Tommy isn't it? Always one step ahead of the game." She let out a half laugh. "He told me he would find me, after the race, we shared a moment together."

Ada raised her eyebrow expectedly to which Sara only nodded.

"He told me he would look for me. That I should wait for him. So I did. Like a fool I did. Then a woman appeared. She was also looking for him. Mrs Carleton?" Sara turned to face Ada.

"The horse trainer." Ada confirmed.

"Yes. She spoke with one of your other brothers. He asked her if they were together. She neither confirmed, nor denied it. But it was enough for me. I could see it in her eyes, the look she had whenever she spoke of him. She loves him. I can tell. She has the same look in her eyes that I do when I think of him." Tears threatened to fall again, but she took in a deep breath, refusing to let them overcome her again. "Then I came home. It was late. I found James, sitting over there." She nodded over to the armchair in the corner. "He had a bottle in his hand, most of it gone. He stood up and came to me. He could see the pain in my eyes and I think at that point, he knew. He knew my pain did not involve him. Sometimes I think he can read my mind, get inside my head and hear my inner most thoughts."

Ada shuffled closer to her, grasping tightly to her hand. "He did this?"

Sara nodded again. She lifted her free hand up to her cheek, tensing as it grazed the bloody wound under her right eye. She had finally managed to halt the bleeding with the fur from the coat she had worn that day. The coat still lay discarded across the armchair, dried blood caked into it. She knew it was ruined, yet she couldn't bear to part with it. It was a cruel reminder of the pain she had felt that day. Not from the vicious attack she had suffered from James, but from the shards of her heart which now lay broken within her.

"He was so angry. As if he knew. He knew I wanted another. So, he dealt with it in the only way he seemed to know how. Before we came here, I'd never heard him raise his voice, let alone his hand. I should never have agreed to come here." Sara leant her elbow on the arm rest of the couch, placing her forehead against her palm. "So I've made a decision."

Ada's eyebrow raised again. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going back."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Pol. I'm going to ask you one last time, what happened at Epsom?"

Tommy was growing increasingly frustrated. Derby day had been hell, but it was done. He sank back into his chair, lighting his fifth cigarette of the morning. Polly had been moping around ever since they had arrived back and no one could seem to get through to her. John had expressed his concern to Tommy the previous night. They had spent the last few nights drinking in the Garrison, celebrating the Peaky Blinders success at Epsom. By managing to burn all the licences, they had ensured the pitches would be allocated to Tommy's bookies. May would guarantee that. Her influence knew no bounds. But yet, despite it all, he couldn't bring himself to contact her once he had arrived back in Birmingham. Standing in the middle of that field, his lonely unmarked grave in front of him, Tommy felt his mind clear. He had time to think for the first time in a long time. As he had knelt down, he felt salvation washing over him. Redemption was his now. And as he waited to hear that trigger, his mind stopped thinking about business. It stopped thinking about money, and bets, and death. It thought of the beautiful blonde woman he had seen only a few hours earlier. An image of her flashed in front of his eyes as he had closed them, his head tilted up allowing the warm breeze to float over his face, through his hair. He savoured the taste of what he thought would be his last cigarette. _Oh and there's a woman._ He heard the gun behind him, the barrel clicking into place. He had accepted his fate and had walked back towards the grave, telling them to get it done with. But yet, he had survived. He knew it wouldn't be long before he would hear from Churchill, but right then, sitting there, with his family, in his pub and a drink in his hand, he couldn't think of that.

And now, it was as though none of it mattered. None of it made a difference as Polly wandered back through to the office, a glass in her hand. She sat down at the opposite side of the desk to Tommy and lifted the bottle from the table, filling her glass right up.

"I killed him." Her voice was vaguely above a whisper, but he heard her.

"Who?" He took another drink, the news not exactly fazing him.

"The Inspector."

Now she had his attention.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She cut a lonely figure, stood at the dock with her suitcase in hand. It wasn't cold but yet, she felt a chill run through her. Pulling her coat towards her, she took in a deep breath and made her way towards the long wooden walkway which would lead her up onto the ship. Since she had opened her heart to Ada, she wondered if he would ever appear. If he would turn up at her side, take her suitcase from her and take her far away. She took one last fleeting glance behind her, looking for the telltale peaked black cap but it never came. She had come this far, all she had to do was get on the ship and she would soon be back home, back with her family. Before leaving, she had posted a letter through Ada's door, providing her parents address and phone number in New York where she would be staying. She hadn't yet told them she was coming, knowing they would likely try and talk her out of it since they didn't know the full story. She had no idea how she was going to get out of her marriage. Laws weren't very favourable of women when it came to divorce. She knew the easiest way out of it was to force his hand. Adultery being the main reason for divorces but she hadn't really been unfaithful. Other than sharing those brief kisses with Mr Shelby, she hadn't done anything wrong. Plus he hadn't actually caught her, although she knew he suspected her heart belonged to another.

She thought back to what she had left back in London. She thought back to her friend. She had offered up a chance for Ada to come and visit her. They had grown close and she felt saddened at potentially losing her friend, the only friend she had in London. But part of her also hoped she would pass the letter onto Tommy. Rage built up inside her as she thought of him, more so as she imagined he would likely be holed up at Mrs Carleton's sprawling mansion, enjoying her, satisfying her. Jealousy developed within her. Why had she pushed him away that night? She knew she wanted him but her uncontrollable need to give her marriage a chance had thwarted that plan. And now, knowing what she did of James, she was heartbroken that she had ever refused him. Things could have been different if she had allowed him to touch her, allowed him to take her. Her mind went over that night again and again, trying to imagine what it would have been like. His kiss still burned into her lips, they still tingled from feeling his tongue trying to gain entry into her mouth. She could only imagine what his touch would feel like. But yet, here she was, running back to New York, far away from him. A whistle blew in the distance and she knew she didn't have much time left. Grasping onto her suitcase, she began the walk towards the ship.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Where the fuck is she, Tommy?"

Tommy rubbed his hand across his jaw, stretching out his mouth, his eyes staring up at the barrel of the gun Alfie was pointing towards him. He had come back down to London to discuss business following on from their successes at Epsom three weeks previous. He hadn't accounted for the unorthodox welcome Alfie had given him. He sat down in the wooden chair, his eyes burning into the weapon, refusing to look away.

"Alfie…" he started.

"Don't be givin' me any shit Tommy, I said where the fuck is she?" Alfie moved from behind the desk until he was right in front of him, the cool metal now pressed into his forehead.

Refusing to lose his composure, he cleared his throat. "First of all, you have to tell me who you are talking about."

"You know fuckin' well who I'm talkin' about." Alfie's voice raised. "My lovely bookkeeper. The delectable Mrs Lockwood. The woman, who I have been reliably informed, was seen getting rather close to you at the derby. So first, she's seen wi' you and now, she ain't been inta work for three weeks. I've had Ollie out lookin' for her, keeping an eye on 'er 'ouse but he ain't seen 'ead nor tail of 'er. And I have to assume that you've got somethin' to do wi' that."

Tommy stared at him, refusing to pander to his hostility. He felt his stomach tighten at the news that Sara hadn't been to work. Guilt started to seep into his veins, but he kept it in check, not allowing anything to be detected by the irate man stood in front of him. How could he not have noticed this? Sure, this was the first time he had been in London since the derby, so he hadn't had any chance to get in touch with Sara. He knew it didn't look great to her. He had promised he would find her after the races, but he had been dragged away before he could get a chance. He wondered how long she had waited on him before finally giving up and going home. His mind thought back over the last couple of weeks, nothing sprung out at him to indicate there had been anything wrong with her. The only thing that crossed his mind was Ada trying desperately to speak to him on the phone in the days after the derby.

 _Tommy, its important. I need to talk to you."_

 _He had rebuffed her. "Ada, I really don't have the time right now, can it wait? I'll call you later tonight? Can it wait till then?"_

 _She simply sighed. "Alright, but don't forget. I really need to speak with you about this."_

He never did call her back. He had been so caught up with the extension of his gambling dens that it went completely out of his head. Then each time she called after, he had asked Lizzie to take a message. He remembered the stack of notes sitting on his desk back in his office. _How many of them were from Ada?_ She had eventually given up trying to speak with him. He felt remorseful that he had ignored her. What if Sara was in trouble? Was if something had happened to her? He could just about understand her not appearing at work, but to not even be seen at her home? Something didn't sit right with him. Something was really wrong.

"Where the fuck are you goin'?"

Tommy had stood from the chair, his forehead still pressed against the revolver.

"Alfie, if you want her found, you'll need to let me go." Tommy stared him down. "I had no idea she was gone. I was supposed to meet her after the races, but I was detained. I haven't spoken with her since."

Alfie cocked his eyebrow, studying him.

"Look, you've already said your men seen us together at Epsom, so you know she means something to me." He explained. "So, you can appreciate that I want her back as much as you do. So, do me a favour, put the gun down, and let me go and bring her back."

Considering his words, Alfie released his grip on the gun and brought it down onto the table. "You better not be fuckin' wi' me Shelby. I won't be so understanding next time."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was almost July and the sun was beating down on her as she wandered through Central Park, feeling as though she didn't have a care in the world. And for the first time in over two years, she actually didn't.

It had been almost a month since she had board the ship back to America, almost a month since she had left James behind, since she left London behind. Not that he hadn't tried to pursue her. After she had been gone a few days, James had sent word to her parents, trying to discover her whereabouts. Given the fact she had turned up on her parents door, suitcase in hand, cheek still bruised and bloody, her parents had been more than accommodating, taking her in and keeping her safe. They had spent a long evening together with Sara explaining everything that had gone on since they had moved from New York. Her mother had been surprised to find out what James was really like, but her father had sat in stony silence, her words washing over him, until he finally excused himself, lifting his brandy glass with him. Glancing at her mother, Sara had followed him out into the hallway where she found him sitting at the foot of the staircase with his head in his hands.

 _Father? What's wrong?" she had asked._

Sara shivered as she thought back to the look on his face. That look of pain, of hurt and of anguish at what she had been through. Her father had never really been an emotional man but seeing him like this, devastated her. They hugged, in silence, for what seemed like hours. He silently promised himself she would never go through anything like that again. She was his only daughter and his heart ached at the fact he had been unable to protect her. They had gone back through to the sitting room where they chose to forget the past, and began looking to the future.

Now, she was enjoying life again. Her father had managed to secure her a position within a law firm in uptown Manhattan, albeit, not as a solicitor which she had hoped for, but as a legal secretary. It was enjoyable though. She liked the people she worked with and the work was interesting. Not quite as interesting as the work she did in Alfie's 'bakery' that is, but she enjoyed the almost mundane existence she experienced there. Gone, were the days of gunshots and cocaine use.

Wandering through the park, she found her mind was distracted. She thought back to the last time she had been in a park. It was the night she had run from James and the night she found herself face to face with a certain Peaky Blinder. Under her cloche hat, her eyes lit up at the thought of Tommy. She remembered that night as if it was yesterday and being one of her favourite memories of London, she often found herself thinking back to it. Never before, had she been kissed like that. And despite everything, she missed him. Although, she knew, the likelihood was that Tommy was now with his horse trainer. She had noticed the look in the womans eyes as she discussed Tommy with his brother and it was clear for all to see, exactly how she felt about him. Between that, and the fact that he never showed after the races, Sara had put two and two together and accepted that Tommy had made his choice. He didn't want her. Despite her trying to make it clear to him that she wanted him. Never had she kissed someone like that, especially not in full view of so many people. All she wanted was to disappear with him, follow him to wherever he went. She had made the assumption that he must live in Birmingham, thinking about the paperwork she first found when she started working for Alfie. The Peaky Blinders seemed to be based there so it was likely that this was where Tommy lived as well. Had she not seen the beautiful Mrs Carleton, she probably would have jumped on a train to Birmingham when she left London, rather than boarding a ship half way across the world.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ada?"

Tommy pushed the door of her townhouse open and called her name as he stepped inside. The meeting with Alfie was still playing on his mind as he wandered the house looking for her. Walking up the staircase, he heard a giggle coming from one of the rooms. Making his way around the hall, he slowly pushed open the door and was greeted by a smiling Karl who was curled up within Ada's duvet.

"What are you doin' little man?" Tommy couldn't help it. He made his way over to the bed and sat down, curling up around his nephew. His paternal instinct and softer side always coming out around children. Despite all the bad things he did in his life, a giggling child always seemed to reduce him to a crumbling wreck.

He sat for a few minutes, helping Karl build up the wooden blocks he was playing with when his eyes shot up to the doorway where he saw Ada leaning against the wall, smirking at him.

"Something funny?" He got to his feet and made his way across to her. "Where were you?"

"Bathroom." She admitted, a bit too honestly. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I need to speak with you."

"Like I needed to speak with you three weeks ago?" She was harsh in her words, but Tommy knew he deserved it.

He stayed silent, choosing to simply nod in agreement. "What was it you were trying to tell me?"

Ada moved over to the bed and sat down beside Karl. "It's too late now Tommy."

"What do you mean, too late?" he questioned.

Ada picked up a couple of the blocks, helping Karl to build them. "I mean, she's gone. Perhaps if you'd listened to me at the time, you could have stopped her from going. She was my friend, and I couldn't stop her. But I somehow think you could have stopped her. She'd have listened to you."

Tommy put his head in his hands, rubbing onto his jaw and clenching it. "Where did she go?"

"She's gone back to New York. She couldn't stay here. You didn't see the mess of her Tommy."

Tommy's head thrust up from his hands. "What do you mean, the mess of her?"

"He done her in good Tommy. Her face was swollen. She had been bleeding badly, I could tell. She had to get away. She would have come to you, but you abandoned her. She told me you promised to meet her, but you never showed." Ada rolled her eyes.

"I couldn't. I was lifted." Tommy admitted, having not told any of the family yet about what happened at the end of the derby. He hadn't seen it coming, but now, hearing about what Sara had gone through, all because he wasn't there, he had let her down and she had suffered as a result.

"Typical." She shook her head. "Anyway, it wouldn't have made a difference. She seen May."

Tommy closed his eyes, lifting his head up towards the ceiling and taking a deep breath. "What do you mean?"

"She was waiting for you and May appeared. I think she spoke with John and was asking for you, asking where you were and Sara overhead. She said she could see it in the woman's eyes how much she loves you. I think that was the point she decided to leave. She told me you had a moment together?" Ada eyed him up cautiously, unsure if he would divulge anything.

"May and I haven't been together for some time. I intend to keep it that way. She was training my horse, nothing more." Tommy lifted his packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one.

"So what was happening with you and Sara?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. You know I don't usually talk about these things." He scolded.

"Yes, I'm aware, but you look as though you could use a chat. Plus, I have some additional information for you, but I'm not giving you it until I know what your intentions are Thomas." She knew she was blackmailing him, but she didn't care. She was determined to find out more about their relationship. She had been carrying around the letter with Sara's address in her pocket for weeks, keeping it close by in case Tommy finally came to his senses.

She knew she was getting through to him and aware that the mention of new details had peaked his interest. "What information?" he asked.

"Not yet."

"Ok Ada." He sighed, growing impatient. "Yes we had a moment. We had several actually. Although, the one night I thought we were getting close, she rejected me."

Ada stifled a laugh. "She…..rejected….the great Thomas Shelby?"

"Its not funny."

"Oh I beg to differ Tommy." She laughed again. "Now, where do you see this going? If she's just an easy fuck, then you can forget it. I'm not letting you get to her just to use her. You've got Lizzie for that."

"I haven't been near Lizzie in weeks." Tommy argued.

"Doesn't mean you couldn't go back." She shot back. "Now, where is this going? Do you even want to see her again?"

"More than I can explain." He groaned, longingly.

"Well then…" she placed her hand into her pocket. She recognised that look on her brother. It was a look she hadn't seen since before France. There was a desire building up inside him, an ache that wouldn't go away on its own. She had noticed the pain in his eyes when she had told him about Sara's injuries, the ones she had sustained at the hands of her husband, and she knew it was likely that Tommy wouldn't let that lie. She knew he would deal with it in his own good time. "You'll be needing this."

"What is this?" he asked, opening up the envelope. His eyes gazed over the silky, feminine curvature of the hand writing.

"It's her address and phone number in New York. Do with it, what you wish." She smiled, turning her attention back to Karl.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 _Dearest Sara,_

 _Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to tell another what you are thinking by writing it down? I have lost count of the number of times I have picked up the telephone with the intent of contacting you, but something has prevented me. My fear that you refuse to talk, or refuse to listen. Somehow, I believe if I write everything down, your curiosity will get the better of you, and you will choose to hear me out._

 _I apologise for that day. I made you a promise that I would find you after the race and this was a promise I was unable to keep. The reasons for that, I won't go into here, but I assure you, it is not what you think._

 _Ada tells me you believe my heart belongs to another. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not sure if my heart has ever truly belonged to anyone, not even me. Whilst it is true, that in the past, I have enjoyed the company of Mrs Carleton, this is no longer the case. It hasn't been for some time. In all honesty, it hasn't been the case since I met you._

 _I am not usually one for admitting my feelings. I'm sure you are well aware now of the business I am involved in and what my life comprises of. As a result, I'm also mindful that your reluctance may prevent you from following your heart._

 _Due to this, I find myself in a conundrum. Do I live in hope that you will return? Or do I follow you, in the hope you would accept me?_

 _Before the war, if I had an important decision to make, I used to flip a coin; perhaps I will do it again._

 _You briefly explained your reasons for coming to England and I know it hasn't been easy for you, so I live in hope that you are happy where you are._

 _My only wish, is that we had been given more time._

 _Until we meet again,_

 _All my love,_

 _Thomas Shelby_

The sepia stained paper held in her hand was suddenly damp from the tears that were falling down her cheeks. His letter had arrived the day before and Sara had already lost count of the number of times she had read it. When she had come home the previous afternoon, she was anxious to hear from her father that a letter had been delivered for her. Automatically, her thoughts went to James, assuming it was from him. But as she examined the letter, she could tell from the hand writing that the letter didn't belong to him. Sitting in her bedroom, she had stared at it for the longest time, unsure if she should open it. Finally, she did, and since then, she had barely been able to put it down. He was the last person she ever expected to hear from. She understood that Ada must have given him a copy of the address she had posted through her door. She lay back on her bed, still gripping onto the letter, and closed her eyes, her thoughts drifting to the handsome author. He had confirmed his relationship with May was over and now, she felt so stupid for running. Perhaps she could go back? Searching through the bureau in her room, she found a few sheets of blank paper and a pen and began writing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tommy?" Lizzie stood in his office doorway.

He didn't look up, choosing to continue reading the paperwork on his desk, seemingly only pausing when he took a drag of his cigarette or a gulp of the whisky from his glass. "What?"

"Are you alright?" She manoeuvred into the room, closing the door behind her and walked around to the side of his desk, perching herself on the edge.

Tommy's eyes cautiously glanced over to his left where she was sitting. He noticed the red skirt she was wearing had been purposely hitched up as she had sat down, and he could just about see the tops of her cream stockings. He took another drink and pulled his eyes back down to the papers in front of him. He had received several more letters from Alfie Solomons in the last few days demanding information on Sara's whereabouts. Despite Tommy now knowing her location, he wasn't quite ready to share this with Alfie. He was becoming more and more anxious that he hadn't heard back from her yet.

"Are you alright Tommy?" she repeated the question, leaning over and placing a hand on his shoulder.

He froze the second her finger tips grazed his collar bone. He hadn't allowed another woman to touch him since he had found himself wrapped up in Sara's arms the night he had found her in the park. _How he longed to feel them again._ He shook his head to try and remove the image from his mind but it was hopeless. The look of her, breathless and panting in front of him was almost too much to bear. She was exquisite. Her body had been surrounded by the moonlight and it had cast an aura around her. That night, he had come out of one of his regular nightmares where he imagined the Germans were fighting through the walls to get to him but he had finally woken, and felt immediately at ease when his eyes had fallen on her. Shrugging Lizzie's hand from his shoulder, he stood from the chair and walked across to the small table which housed his decanter. Lifting the lid, he topped up his glass.

"You never come to me anymore Tommy." She whispered, almost seductively.

"I pay you to work here Lizzie." He murmured. "And that's it. I made that clear at the time. No extras. And that includes from me."

"I'm not asking for your money Tommy." She stood from the desk and walked around to him until she was centimetres away from him. She stared at his back and shoulders which she could see moving up and down with each breath he took. She cautiously took another step towards him and slipped her hands around his waist, missing the suspenders which were hanging down by his side. "What if I just wanted you?"

She had barely got the words from her mouth when Tommy spun round and grabbed her wrists. He moved her across the room with such a force, the air was almost knocked out of her when her back slammed against the door.

"Do you want this job Lizzie?" he breathed, almost threateningly. She nodded feverishly. "Well then, you concentrate on the work and not on me. Because, as I have told you before, nothing more will happen between us. Is that clear?"

She nodded again as Tommy finally released her. "Now, fuck off, and go home. There's no need for you to be here this late."

"Tommy…"

"Lizzie!" he shouted. "Are you fuckin' listening?"

She took a deep breath. "I just wanted to tell you, this came for you today." She lifted a small envelope from her pocket and handed it to him. She noticed how his eyes widened as they cast over the writing. She knew he recognised it.

Taking it from her, he motioned towards the door indicating she should leave. Lizzie sighed heavily as she pulled the door open, making her way back into the office, leaving it open behind her. She initially sat back down at her desk where she could still see Tommy before making herself scarce.

Sitting back down at his desk, his eyes glazed over the writing in front of him. He knew it as soon as he seen the envelope. It matched the one Ada had given him. He closed his eyes, his fingers running over the seal, anticipation burning away inside of him. Unable to contain himself any longer, he lifted his letter opener from his top drawer and ran it along the top of the envelope, gently tearing it open.

 _My darling Thomas,_

 _Not a day has gone by since I left that my thoughts do not go to you. I experienced mixed emotions when I received your letter. I agree though, it is easier to write your feelings down than speak them aloud. I wonder why that is?_

 _I am thankful to hear that there were reasons for your absence after the race, although I wish I could say my feelings were not hurt at that time, but I would be being dishonest. I hope, one day, you will be in a position to enlighten me._

 _I cannot quite explain how I felt afterwards to see Mrs Carleton appear beside me, her heart longing for you. I understand though that perhaps her feelings are not reciprocated. Whilst she has my sympathies, I can assure you, this comes as a great relief to me._

 _Whilst I appreciate we have not had a relationship in any way, my heart still aches for you. I cannot fathom why this is, and my teachings within a strict Catholic upbringing no doubt condemn me for having such impure thoughts whilst I am still a married woman. Although, I must confess, this is a situation that I am keen to rectify._

 _I'm unsure if Ada has explained why I left, but believe me when I say, I will explain all to you at some point. Perhaps we should arrange a meeting so we can both offload our sins? I have a feeling though that this would be a lengthy encounter._

 _I am interested in your methods of determining your own fortune. I wonder if perhaps, I should try this. Heads – I stay, I live my life here and forget everything. Tails – I throw caution to the wind and find you again. Are we really in control of our own destiny? Is it really something as simple as flipping a coin? Or do the Gods of fate have our life already planned out for us, and if we make choices which derail us from that plan, are we destined to come back to it anyway? Are we simply delaying the inevitable? I can't decide. I have a coin in my hand at the moment. I may flip it, just for fun. I wonder how it will land._

 _You mentioned in your letter that you didn't think your heart belonged to anyone, not even yourself. I find such sadness in this and I pray that you realise you are deserving of love and one day, you open your heart up to the person who deserves your love in return. I hope you know that you already hold my heart and it has been broken since that day. I can only wish that it is easily repaired._

 _I hope this letter reaches you and finds you well. I pray that you find solitude at night and are able to sleep easier._

 _My ever lasting love,_

 _Your Sara_

His heart jumped into his throat as he read over the letter, her voice sounding in his head as though she was reading it to him. He could almost hear her. His body ached to hold her and he found contentment in her words. For the first time in a long time, he felt a smile appear on his face. He thought back over the last few months from the point he had first seen her sitting in her husbands car, to the final time his eyes had rested on her. They were standing behind the staircase which led into one of the bars at Epsom. He had been kissing her, his hands were roaming over her body and he had promised her he would find her again. _Fucking Churchill, fucking everything up._ And up until now, he felt as though he had lost her. But now, reading over her letter, he felt hope. Hope that she wasn't giving up on them. Having only spent a few short occasions together, Tommy even doubted what he felt was real but having spoken with Ada, she made him see that what he felt was true. It was then that he knew what he had to do, and he didn't need a coin to make that decision for him. Standing from his desk, he took his final drink from his glass, placed the letter in his top drawer, pulled his coat on and made his way from his office, out into the night.

Lizzie slid out from behind John's door where she had been standing since Tommy forced her out of his office. Glancing around to make sure she was truly alone, she made her way back towards Tommy's desk. She wasn't sure if he would have left the letter behind but her nose was bothering her and she wanted to know who was getting Tommy so worked up. Quickly looking over the table, she sighed as she realised there was nothing lying around. Her eyes flew to the door, quickly making sure no one had appeared before she started checking the drawers. As expected, most of them were locked but as she came to the top one, it slid open. Narrowing her eyes, she was surprised to see that Tommy had been so careless. A slight smile lifting on her lips, she found the same envelope she had handed him. Sitting down in his chair, she pulled the letter out and began reading, anger building up inside her with every written word.

 **A/N - thank you so much for the amazing reviews! I'm trying to update fairly regularly and I do have the next few chapters almost done so they should still be coming out at a quick pace - every 3/4 days I expect. I'm glad you're enjoying it! Keep on reading and reviewing. Happy to take any opinions on where you see this story going as a reader, I'm open to suggestions which could impact the lines I take with this. Thank u so much!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

It was almost like déjà vu. She stood on the ship deck, leaning against the railings, letting the warm air swim over her. She looked out into the distance, but this time was different, this time she was full of hope, not sadness. The last time she had stood looking out to the sea, she had felt hopeless and full of misery but now, she was actually looking forward to getting there. Her heart surged at the thought of seeing Tommy again. They had been exchanging letters back and forth for the last few weeks and although, neither of them had particularly mentioned seeing each other again, she knew it was only a matter of time before she would eventually follow her heart back to England. She could only hope that Tommy would still be waiting for her when she arrived. He hadn't made any mention of any other woman in his letters, but then again, would he openly tell her about them? She had been conversing back and forth with Ada also, and she was sure her friend would mention Thomas having another woman in his life, but she also hadn't said a word. Over the last couple of weeks, she had explained her desire to go back to England to her parents. Understandably, they were concerned. They cited the fact they were worried about how James would react, seeing her again. But Sara assured them she wasn't going to James and had no intention of having any interaction with him. She would, however, need to come close to their house as she was going straight to Ada's. She had hoped Ada would join her in her trip to Birmingham as she didn't want to go there alone, not knowing how Tommy would react to seeing her. She smiled to herself as she thought of Tommy. Closing her eyes, she was able to picture his high chiselled cheekbones and his picturesque blue eyes. She could almost smell him if she really put her mind to it. She couldn't deny he was something special but part of her was concerned that she had bit off more than she could chew. Whilst she was a strong person, she wasn't completely convinced she could handle a man like Tommy. Since going back to New York, she had called upon the services of a private investigator. Certainly not a cheap expenditure for her but with her family's wealth, it wasn't something to concern herself with. Although, she did tell a little white lie to her father about why she needed the money. Making up some story about the need for a few new outfits did the trick. She had hired a man which her law firm used on a regular basis to pursue cases of adultery, so she was well aware of the quality of his work.

 _I'm looking to find out some information. About a group of people located in Birmingham, England."_

 _He had nodded. "And can you give me some information on them?"_

 _I wish to find out more about a gang, known as the Peaky Blinders. One of them involved is a man named Thomas Shelby." She told him_

She had left him as much information as she could, and he promised he would come back to her as soon as possible. That was just over a month ago, sometime after she had received Tommy's first letter. Getting that letter had knocked her for six. She had never expected to hear from him and certainly never expected to read the words she did. However, once she did, she knew she needed to find out more about him. Her heart told her she wanted him again. She wanted to get close to him, but her head was a completely different story. The logical side of her argued that she had to know him inside out. To truly know whether she wanted to pursue any kind of relationship with him, she had to know everything.

 _Please, sit down Mrs Lockwood."_

 _She took a seat in one of the large leather arm chairs which sat in his office. He had contacted her to explain he had found out as much information as he could._

 _Now, explain to me Mrs Lockwood. Is it the Peaky Blinders you want to know about, or Thomas Shelby in particular?"_

 _Her cheeks flushed scarlet as she could tell he could see right through her, but composing herself, she straightened up and stared him in the eye. "Why don't you tell me what Mr Shelby's involvement with the Peaky Blinders is first?"_

 _He simply nodded and lifted up a large envelope from his desk and handed it to her. She glanced up at him before accepting it. Opening it up, she poured the contents onto the desk in front of her. Her eyes glazed over the pictures which lay on the table. Lifting them up individually and fingering through them, she felt a small smile appear on her lips as her eyes fell on Tommy's face._

 _And these were taken recently?" she asked._

 _He nodded. "About two weeks ago."_

 _She smiled again. Despite having not seen him for a couple of months, he looked exactly the same. She felt herself tremble as she stared at his face. The picture had been taken as he left a building she didn't recognise._

 _Where was this taken?"_

 _Outside his home. We seen him coming and going from a few properties within the area. This picture…." He pointed at another on the table. "…is the local pub he frequents. Its called the Garrison. It is held in the Shelby name. The name Arthur Shelby is above the door. This is Arthur." He lifted another picture and handed it to her._

 _She nodded, studying the mans features. "And his relation to Thomas is?"_

 _Brother. Older. He is unmarried. No children. Likes a drink and a whore or two."_

 _She smirked as she lifted another picture from the pile. A hint of recognition fell over her._

 _This is another brother. John Shelby. Married. Four children."_

 _I know him. I seen him one afternoon. Four children? That's a handful."_

 _He nodded in agreement. "From what my associates were told, his brothers married him off to a gypsy woman. All to settle a feud. But he needed someone to help him take care of the kids after their mother died."_

 _This one, I know. This is Finn." Sara lifted up a picture of the youngest Shelby. "And this one, Ada. What are these supposed to tell me?"_

 _He took the pictures from her and set them back inside the envelope. "I just wanted to ensure you knew all the siblings. But there is one more person you should be aware of,"_

 _He lifted another picture from the envelope and handed it to her. "This is the matriarch of the family. Polly Grey. She oversaw the running of the family business whilst the boys were in France."_

 _During the war?"_

 _Yes. The boys may look tough, but my understanding is that she is just as tough, if not more so than her nephews."_

 _Oh, I thought she was their mother?"_

 _He shook his head. "No, their aunt. She looked after them after their mother died. She's really been the only consistent female in their lives. Now, in terms of the gang itself….Arthur may be the oldest, but he's by no means in charge. That title goes to the man who's caught your eye. Thomas is the leader of the Peaky Blinders. What he says, goes. Now, I need to be honest with you, being the leader of a gang like this, isn't glamourous. These men are dangerous."_

Sara had sat in his office for nearly an hour as he explained as much about the gangs activities as he had found out. She had expected illegal activities, but nothing could have quite prepared her for what she heard.

 _Although, his life hasn't always been like that. When he was in the war, he was a tunneller. Responsible for planting explosives under the enemy lines and due to his incredible conduct, he was promoted to Sergeant Major. Very impressive, considering how young he was. He fought at Verdun and the Somme. He received several awards and medals of honour for gallantry."_

 _He handed Sara the envelope filled with all the information inside and in return, she handed him his fee. "Thank you. You've been incredibly helpful."_

 _You're welcome. I hope this helps you come to a decision." He shot her a knowing look as she nodded and exited his door._

She had spent hours pouring over the information, weighing up her options and trying to decide what the best thing was for her to do. Her head was screaming at her to leave well alone but despite everything she read, she couldn't help but think back to his letters. The information the investigator had found was harrowing but in spite of this, she knew at the end of the day, it was his job, his role to protect his family and clearly, this was how he went about it. But his letters and the time she had spent with him told a different story. Deep down, he was kind and thoughtful and passionate. And to that end, she had booked a ticket on the next ship back to England, convinced she was doing the right thing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He stood on the edge of the cut, staring down into the water, his trusty cigarette attached to his lip. He lifted his hand and pulled it from his mouth, almost painfully as his lips had become dry with the humid air. Flanked either side by John and Arthur, he took another long drag before finally throwing the butt of the cigarette into the dirty liquid below.

"Right boys. Lets get this over with."

He turned and began walking down the pathway alongside the water with John and Arthur following dutifully beside him. He had been anticipating trouble for some time although, he had expected it to come long before now. Earlier in the month, Thomas had travelled back to London and met with Alfie Solomons. After the chaos that ensued at Epsom, he was hell bent on revenge. Sabini had almost brought him to the brink of death and he wasn't about to let that go unnoticed. After Sabini betrayed Solomons at the races, it was almost too easy for Tommy to bring him back on board. And losing the Eden Club back to Sabini, Thomas was more than pissed off that his operation in London was hanging by a thread. _Damn that fucking Inspector._ Although, he was now no longer an issue. Polly's admission that she had ensured he met a bloody end at Epsom had brought him great joy. Nothing was tying him to the murder and he had yet to hear from Churchill as was promised by the Red Right Hand. They paced through the murky streets of Small Heath until they were met by a larger crowd around the back of the Garrison.

"Right boys." Arthur yelled as they walked closer. "Let's suit up!"

Opening up Johnny Dogs' van, they pulled out numerous weapons, arming themselves. Chattering passers by quickly hushed as their eyes fell upon the crowd that was gathering. They knew better than to say a word.

"Everything here?" John moved closer to Tommy, inspecting the contents. "Do we have enough men?"

"We'll soon find out eh Brother." Pulling his cap down, he moved to the front of the van and got in.

"Lets go!" John shouted to the others as they clambered into the back of the vans.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her head bobbed as the car came to a final stop.

"We're here Miss." The driver said, attempting to waken Sara from her slumber. He opened the door and got out, moving to lift her bag from the back.

"That's alright. I've got it. I've got a bit of a walk to go." She rubbed her eyes, trying to adjust to the failing light as the sun was starting to go down.

"A walk?" The man was confused. "I thought this was your house?"

"Not this one." She smiled. "Not to worry Sir, I'm more than capable."

He nodded slowly, not quite sure what to do. However, she took the bag from his hand, handed him his fare and began her long walk towards Primrose Hill. She had purposely avoided being dropped off anywhere near her old street, determined not to draw any attention to herself. The last thing she needed was James seeing the lights from the window and spotting her.

As the sun was finally setting, she turned onto the familiar road. Wandering down, her eyes darting about the street, looking out for any sign of life but nothing had come. Walking up to Ada's home, she placed the suitcase down and knocked on the door. She turned away from it as she waited, keeping her sights firmly on the house three doors down.

"Can I help you?"

She hadn't even heard the door open. Slowly turning back around, she lifted her head up slowly, allowing Ada's eyes to finally fall on her face.

Her eyes widened. "Sara?" She almost couldn't get the word out.

Placing her index finger to her lip, she signalled for Ada to keep quiet. She nodded quickly, understanding, and pulled the door open, lifting Sara's suitcase and allowing her entry.

Once the door was safely locked behind her, she dropped the case and rushed to her friend, pulling her into a tight hug. Almost taken aback by Ada's sudden show of affection, Sara laughed as she accepted the embrace.

"I haven't been gone that long." She protested playfully.

"Too long!" Ada pulled her towards the sitting room, leaving the case lying in the foyer. "Look Karl! Look who it is!"

Sara's eyes fell on the little boy who was sitting playing with a toy car on the floor in front of the unlit fire. As soon as they met his gaze, his toothy grin appeared. Sara was taken aback. She had only been gone a couple of months but she was amazed by how much he had grown in that time. She never met the elusive Freddie Thorne, but she didn't mind admitting to herself that she struggled to see a lot of Ada in him so she could only imagine how much he must resemble his father. The little boy got to his feet and ambled across to Sara, clearly delighted to see her. In the few weeks before she left, she had looked after him on numerous occasions to allow Ada time to get out of the house and spend some quality alone time. She beamed as he got to her legs and quickly bundled him up, wrapping her arms around him and letting him rest on her hip. She followed Ada across to the couch where they sat down together, Karl sitting content on her lap, playing with the light scarf which was wrapped around her neck.

"I can't believe you're here!" Ada finally broke the silence. "When did you get back?"

"I've just arrived. I was wondering if it would be alright if I stayed for a couple of nights?" Sara asked, gingerly. "I don't want to impose but I don't really have anywhere else to go. I didn't want to be alone in a hotel."

"Of course!" Ada was more than happy to accommodate her friend. She thought back to the first day she ever met Sara Lockwood. Admittedly, first impressions of the woman weren't great. She had cast a look over her attire and had quickly made up her mind, perhaps wrongly, that this Mrs Lockwood was a stuck up, snobby cow. However, when Sara had brought Karl and Finn back to her home, her mind was starting to change. She had been preoccupied with Tommy that day. Her anger at the fact he had let them slip out his grasp and wander around Regent's Park at the same time he was at war with Sabini had overcame her and she completely forgotten to properly thank the woman for bringing them home, other than a hastily spoken appreciation for her actions. Something she had rectified a few days afterwards when she had visited her. Sara had invited her in for tea and the rest, as they say, is history. They quickly became friends and spent many an evening together after Sara had finished work. "You can stay as long as you like."

"Have you seen James around?" Sara queried, concerned that he would quickly cotton on to where she was. She had reiterated to her parents before she left that they shouldn't divulge her whereabouts to anyone.

"Only a few times. I've only ever seen him leaving in the morning. Don't ever see him coming back, but he must do I suppose." She confirmed.

Sara nodded, thoughtfully.

"Wait, are you….." Ada narrowed her eyes. "Have you come back….to him?"

"God no." Sara's eyes widened. "Never."

"Good." Ada stood from the couch. "Well, I think this calls for a celebratory drink!"

Walking across to the table, she poured out two drinks and took them back over to Sara, sitting back down beside her.

"Thanks." Sara gratefully took the drink, laughing as Karl tried to grasp onto the glass. "Certainly born into the Shelby's"

Ada nodded, amused at her point. "Tommy is going to be glad to see you."

His name fell into the conversation like a bomb dropping. Her eyes darted from the drink back up to Ada's face. "I guess that's the small talk part of our evening over?"

"One of us had to bring him up."

"True." Sara shrugged. "How is he?"

"Honestly? He's been better. Thrown himself into work since you left. Not much else for him to do. I haven't seen him down here so much. Think he's purposely avoiding it to be honest." Ada took a quick drink.

She dropped her eyes down to Karl who was staring up at her. "I'm not sure why I came back. We've been writing back and forth for some time, but, I'm not sure I am what he wants."

"Why would you say that?"

"I'm not exactly cut out for his world. Don't get me wrong, I've lived in a very similar situation, but it was a long time ago. I'm not sure if I could willingly put myself in harms way again. I guess, I've gotten soft." Sara rolled the rim of the glass along her lips before finally taking another sip.

"What do you mean? I thought you were always an upper crust toff." She laughed, teasingly.

Sara smirked. "Not always. I could probably give your brother a run for his money. A least up until I was fifteen."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story. Short version, I grew up in a bad neighbourhood. My father took off when I was months old. My mother was a prostitute. I grew up living in a dump apartment, surrounded by men. Different men. A different man every night. She had them coming and going by the hour. I remember the living room being clouded in smoke and the smell of stale alcohol, sweat and sex hung in the air. On occasion, one of them would stay longer, perhaps for a few months. My understanding was that she was in relationships with these men but as I grew older, I realised, they were controlling her. They were arranging for the men to come around and they controlled her money. Then, when I turned fourteen, they turned their attention on me."

Ada's hand flew to her mouth as the enormity of what Sara was telling her sunk in. "Are you saying….?"

Sara nodded, her eyes unable to meet Ada's, the shame beginning to overcome her. "Countless times. Eventually, I became hooked on cocaine and vodka. Anything to numb the pain and forget what was happening around me. I was constantly getting in trouble with the police. Sometimes, I wished they would arrest me just so I could spent nights away from that hellhole."

"How did you get out?"

"All honesty, I couldn't believe how simple it was. My mother was in a state, she could barely hold her head up, she was so drunk. She told me to go and get her cigarettes. I took the money, started walking down the street. Passed the place I would normally get them from and just didn't stop. I kept walking. Before I knew it, I'd made it uptown. I walked into a police station where they didn't know me and told them everything. They took me to a juvenile asylum in Westchester. For the first time in my life, I was looked after. I was clothed well, I was fed and I was educated. Eventually, when I was fifteen, they arranged for me to go to a new family."

"Your family now?"

Sara nodded. "My mother and father rescued me. I think if I'd have stayed in that house for another month, I wouldn't have gotten out alive. They saved me. They took me in as their own and although I was a tearaway, I quickly adapted to this new way of living. It seemed easy. The only parts I struggled with was etiquette. I'd never so much as held a knife and fork before and suddenly, I had to decipher three different sets on the table. It was overwhelming, but they were incredibly patient with me. I never told anyone that. Not even James. No one outwith my immediate family knew the truth. My parents told friends that they adopted me after my birth mother died."

"Did she die?"

"I hope so." Sara answered brutally. "Nothing short of what she deserves."

Ada nodded. "I think we need another drink."

 **A/N - I literally couldn't stop writing this chapter so its a long one! I hope you enjoy and are starting to get a bit more familiar with Sara's back story. I would love to hear your thoughts!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The next morning, Sara awoke to the bright sunshine streaming through the gap between the curtains. It bounced onto her face, causing her to squint and cover her eyes with her hand. Running her fingers through her hair, she swung her legs from the bed and stood up, pulling the curtains open and making her way over to the dresser situated in the corner of the room. Sitting down, she gazed at her reflection. The bags which had been permanently attached under her eyes had softened and the dark circles were lightened. She smiled as she stood up, making her way across the hall and into the bathroom to wash. She felt surprisingly refreshed considering she normally didn't sleep well when she wasn't in her own bed. However, the bed she had found herself in the previous night, was more than comfortable. The room held fond memories for her. As she walked back, she found herself gazing to the armchair which Tommy had fallen asleep in the last night she had stayed there. How she wished he was here now, but she resigned herself to the fact that she would likely see him soon.

"Sara!" a shout came from the bottom of the staircase. "Breakfast!"

"Coming!" Sara shouted back, quickly getting dressed and attempting to pin her hair. Once suitably dressed, she made her way downstairs to meet Ada in the kitchen.

Her friend smiled as she watched Sara appear in the doorway. "Eggs?"

She nodded, sitting down at the table. "Please."

"Did you sleep well?" Ada asked, serving the eggs onto the plates and placing them in front of her, quickly tucking in.

"Like a baby." Sara answered, lifting her fork and starting to eat. Suddenly, she felt famished. "Almost forgot where I was."

"I thought we could go somewhere today." Ada stated, taking the last bite of food from her plate.

"Alright. Where?"

Placing her fork down, she grinned. "Birmingham. I thought you could come with me. I was planning on heading up there for a few days anyway. Perhaps you'd like to join me? Gets you away from here and you can see where I grew up."

Sara laughed, knowing that Ada was desperate to drop Tommy's name into the conversation. She knew there would be an ulterior motive for being asked along for the journey. "That sounds like fun. Will I get to meet the rest of your family?" She refused to be the one to mention him first.

She nodded excitedly. "Mind you, you've already met a couple of them haven't you?"

Sara had a look of confusion on her face. "I did?"

"Well, we know you have met the one who shall not be named." Ada laughed. "But didn't you also say you met John at the races?"

Realisation fell on Sara. "Well, I seen him there. I didn't actually speak with him though." Her eyes dropped, trying to push the memory of a desperate Mrs Carleton from her mind.

"Ah alright, well you'll get to meet him and his wife, Esme." Ada continued, pulling the conversation away from the mention of Epsom, knowing it didn't hold happy memories for Sara. "And Arthur. He's a handful. Needs a decent woman in his life to try and settle him down."

Sara nodded, finishing her breakfast in silence. "Well I'd be happy to go along with you. Will your family mind me tagging along?"

Ada shook her head. "Not at all. There's plenty of room."

"Well then, lets go."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

John and Arthur stood in the den, at opposite ends of the room, in complete silence. They had been waiting on Tommy for almost thirty minutes, but he was yet to appear. The last few days had been miserable. They had spent time back in London, determined to try and get the Peaky Blinders operation back on track in the city. They had gone straight to the Eden Club, refusing to back down from the rows of men that Sabini had standing guard, clearly expecting a raid of some sort. The room quickly became a blood bath, and many had been killed but the Blinders didn't care. They had to make their mark, and they did so the only way they knew how. Tommy had also been back to see Alfie Solomons, who was still demanding to know where Sara was, but Tommy refused to let on where she was located. He feigned ignorance and advised Alfie he still had no idea, whether Alfie believed him was another story, but despite this, he had struck up a deal to start shipping crates of the Shelby's whisky and gin through London again. They spent hours trying to firm up the details and Tommy was well aware that he had paid more than Alfie was entitled to, but he knew he couldn't afford to lose his support, not now.

After securing his buy in, he had located the rest of his men and they had made their way back to Birmingham. Now they stood back in the den, waiting on Tommy coming back from a nearby auction. Keen to secure further status at other racetracks throughout the country, he was on the look out for another horse.

"About fuckin' time." Arthurs husky voice broke the silence of the room and John looked up towards the door, watching Tommy intently as he made his way towards his office, bottle of whisky in hand.

"Don't start Arthur." Tommy warned, setting up three glasses and pouring the whisky into each. He lifted his glass and beckoned the others to take one. "To my new horse."

The men glanced at each other before clinking their glasses against Tommy's.

"May should be here shortly. She's going to have a look over her and see what her team can do to get her ready." Tommy explained, knocking the drink back in his throat. He glanced out of the small window behind him and noticed the sun was starting to go down. He hoped she wouldn't be too long.

"Is Curly taking her there?" John asked.

Tommy shook his head. "No, she'll come here, and I'll take her."

John placed his glass on the table, pulled his hat from his pocket and placed it back on his head. "Well, I'll be off then if there's nothin' else you're needin' Tom."

Thomas nodded, not looking up at him. John lifted his eyebrows at Arthur as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

"Tom…." Arthur started, taking a seat in one of the leather chairs which sat in front of Tommy's desk.

"What is it Arthur?"

"You want to tell me what the fuck is the matter with you?" He looked up at his brother who had now also sat down. Tommy had pulled his hat from his head, revealing the three inch long red scar which now ran across his hairline. His activities in London had left him with the gash and it was now an angry scarlet colour which brightened against his pale skin.

"No idea what you're talking about."

"You know exactly wha' I mean." Arthur leaned forward to refill his glass. "You've been like this for weeks. I mean, you were a miserable bastard before but now, its worse."

Tommy shook his head, taking another drink. He didn't have time to answer when a knock came from his office door. "Come in."

The door swung open, revealing Lizzie standing there.

"Arthur, do me a favour and fuck off for now. I'll meet you in the Garrison later and we'll talk." Thomas made the silent promise to his brother, somewhat appeasing him. Arthur stood from the chair, nodding, finished the last of his drink and walked past Lizzie and out the door.

Thomas didn't look up at her, choosing to continue drinking his whisky. "What do you want Lizzie?"

She cleared her throat and walked into the room, staying on the opposite side of the desk from him, wary about going anywhere near him after their last altercation. "There's a woman looking for you. She told me to tell you she'd meet you in the Garrison."

Tommy lifted his head and narrowed his eyes. Nodding, he finished his drink and stood, placing the glass down before making his way out of the den. He made his way up the street until he arrived at the Garrison doors. He could already hear the noise of the regulars inside. Pulling his watch from his pocket, he glanced at the time. _Four._ It was likely going to start getting busy in the next hour or so and Tommy knew he would need to meet Arthur later. He wanted to get this over and done with and had no doubt that it was May who was waiting for him. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door, automatically silencing the punters as soon as he stepped inside, but he ignored them, choosing to head straight into the snug. As soon as he opened the door, he came face to face with May.

"I wasn't sure if you would come." She took a drink. "I didn't trust that woman to give you my message."

"You were right not to trust her, but here I am." He didn't move from the doorway. "Shall we go?"

She nodded and got to her feet, stepping in front of him and making her way outside.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Here we are! Come on Karl, out you get."

Ada stood from the car and hauled Karl out with her. Eyes searching the street around her, Sara stepped onto the pavement and followed Ada towards the house. Pushing the door open, they made their way inside.

"Hello? Anyone home? Aunt Pol?" Sara stiffened as she heard Ada call out to her family. She remembered Polly's name from the Investigator's notes and she knew, if she was to have any involvement with Thomas, she would need to get this woman onside.

"Who's that?" a woman's voice flew through the hallway towards them.

"Its me, Ada. Polly? Is that you?" She made her way through to the sitting room, Sara trailing behind. Pushing open the door, she let out a yelp as she took in the features of the woman standing before her.

"Ada! What are you doing here?" Polly rushed towards her and pulled her into a hug, before turning her attention onto little Karl. "Well, you've become a big boy haven't you!"

Sara hovered nervously in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt the families reunion. Ada's eyes went to her as she was wrapped up in Polly's arms.

"Oh, Aunt Pol, I want to introduce you to someone."

"Not another flamin' man Ada, please." She shook her head.

Laughing, Ada pulled away and moved to her side. "No, this is my very good friend, Sara Lockwood. She stays a few doors away from me in London and has been an amazing help to me with Karl. I asked her to come along so she could see Birmingham."

Polly scoffed. "Not much to see around here." She averted her eyes from Ada to the woman standing in the doorway. She quickly appraised her before making her way across the room and holding out her hand. "Polly Grey. Pleasure."

Sara took her hand gratefully. "Pleasure's all mine."

Taking a second to note the woman wasn't English, Polly was taken aback. "Oh, I wasn't expectin' that. Yank are ya?"

Sara nodded. "New York."

"Fine part of the world. Stay in England now do ya?" She quizzed.

"Yes, since April. I moved here with my husband, well my former husband…." Sara's eyes dropped to the floor as Polly looked at her quizzically. "We have separated."

She raised her eyebrows. "Not something a woman usually admits to."

Gut reaction, Sara lifted her fingers to her cheek and gently rubbed it. The bloody bruise had long since disappeared, but the reminder was always there in the form of a small white scar. "It wasn't a pleasant time, Mrs Grey."

"Polly."

She nodded. "Polly. I went home for a while, but I found that I missed things here. Despite my husbands aggression, I did have an enjoyable time living here, well, once I got used to it. It wasn't as easy in the early days. I wasn't exactly on board with relocating."

"The things we do for the men eh!" The three women laughed together but were quickly interrupted by the noise of the front door slamming shut.

"Fuck me, I need a fuckin' drink." Arthur's voice bellowed through the house. "Polly, you have got to talk to that fuckin' nephew of yours, he's…."

The door to the sitting room swung open and Arthur stopped mid sentence as he took in the scene around him. "Ada! Wha' the fuck are you doin' here?"

"Nice to see you too Arthur." She smirked.

"Who's this then?" He made his way into the room, surveying the strange woman standing in between the others. He noticed how Karl was clung to her hand, seemingly satisfied in her company.

"This is my friend from London. Sara Lockwood." Ada answered.

Sara smiled, holding up her hand to him. She noticed how Ada chose to not introduce her as a married woman, allowing Sara to make the decision whether she brought the subject up. "Nice to meet you Arthur."

He grinned, lifting her hand to his lips. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance….." He said, flirtatiously, stopping before saying her name.

Ada rolled her eyes, not overly surprised with her brother's show of affection. She couldn't deny that Sara was stunning. She was fairly dressed down, an indication of the long journey they had that day. Her hair was curled and fell loosely around her shoulders and she was dressed in a slightly less formal dress than usual, but still, she was a knockout. Just wait till he found out she was here for Tommy. Arthur wouldn't be happy about it.

"Sara." She confirmed.

He nodded, kissing her knuckles gently. "Sara."

"Now, Arthur, put the young woman down and tell me what nephew of mine is causing you problems?" Polly interrupted.

"Oh, just fuckin' Tommy. As per fuckin' usual."

Sara compressed a smirk, mainly at his profanity. It had been a while since she'd heard people talking like that, as if it was just part of regular conversation. Her husband normally wouldn't swear, but now, nothing in his behaviour surprised her.

"What's he done now? I've noticed as well, he's not been himself for months." Polly confirmed.

Sara glanced over at Ada, who shot her a knowing look.

"He's just…." Arthur had started to explain when the door swung open again.

"Evenin' all." John strode in, his trademark tooth pick rolling around his lip. Sara glanced up, a look of recognition fell over his face as he studied the group in front of him. "Hey, I know you…."

Polly frowned and turned her head in Sara's direction. "You do?" She asked.

John nodded. "I seen you at Epsom."

Sara smiled, holding her hand out. "We weren't introduced. Sara Lockwood."

"John Shelby." He took her hand, not in the same way as his brother though.

"What do you say we all head to the Garrison? Get to know our visitor eh?" Arthur suggested, making his way out the door, not waiting for a response.

"Are you staying for long?" Polly asked, her eyes jumping between the two women.

"A few days. Do you mind us staying here Pol, or will we go down to the boarding house?" Ada asked, following Arthur outside.

"No, no, here's fine." She smiled, looking over to Sara. "You can take John's old room."

"I don't want to impose." Sara put her hands up. "I mean, we have just landed on your doorstep and I know I wasn't expected. I don't want to put you out."

"Not at all." Polly answered, leaving no room for argument. She walked a few steps ahead of them, following the boys up the street.

Ada stuck beside Sara, leading her along the cobbled road and up towards the large building on the corner. Sara immediately recognised it from the pictures she had obtained from the investigator. This was the pub that Tommy frequents. Her pulse started to race and she felt her body heating up at the thought of seeing him again. She wasn't sure how he would react to her appearance in his city but she knew she couldn't wait to cast her eyes over him, in the flesh, yet again.

"Here we are, after you Sara." John grinned, winking at her.

She shook her head, smiling at him. "Thank you, kind sir." She teased.

Making her way into the room, she was startled by the size of it. It didn't look as big from the outside. Suddenly caught unaware, she was confused as to why the rowdiness of the bar had suddenly quietened down. Her eyes glanced over the men she had entered with and she could see them scoping out the room. She noticed them giving the punters a brief nod, at which, the noise started back up again. Confused, she followed them towards a door to their right hand side.

"Oh! Don't mind us….!" She heard Arthur speak. Her eyes followed the sound of his voice and she noticed he was now standing in the small room. She looked over his shoulder and let out a small gasp as her eyes landed on Thomas Shelby.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Her eyes gazed over the scene in front of her. Tommy was sat in one of the chairs and she could just about make out a brunette woman sitting beside him. Her back was to her so she couldn't make out who she was. She hung back behind John, trying to obscure herself from his view. This wasn't how she imagined her reunion with him to go.

Tommy glanced up at the crowd of his family that had appeared around the snug entrance. He had been sitting with May, enjoying a quiet drink before Arthur came barging in. They weren't close to each other but yet, Arthur insisted on making a song and dance about it, as if it was a big deal. He hadn't so much as thought about another woman since Sara had left England and he wasn't about to start now. He knew his behaviour was causing concern for his family. It put them in mind of the quiet demeaner he had when he came back from France and they were determined to snap him out of it.

"What do you want Arthur?" Tommy sighed, taking a long drink.

"Well, if I remember correctly, dear brother, you promised me a drink!" Arthur laughed, making his way into the snug. "Oh, and we need to introduce you to Ada's friend!"

Tommy's ears pricked up at the mention of a friend of Ada's. In all the time she had lived in London, she had only mentioned one friend. But that friend was long gone, and he knew that. He stood up and walked towards the small opening in the wall towards the bar, signalling to Harry to get him another bottle. He lifted the bottle when it was placed in front of him and turned back towards the crowd.

"When did you get back Ada?" He questioned his sister who was looking knowingly at her friend, unbeknown to Tommy. Sara's heart was in her throat with every word he spoke. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she felt as though she couldn't breathe.

"About an hour ago." She answered. "Don't you want to meet my friend, Tommy?"

He moved back to the table and sat down. "Very well. Lets meet them then."

Ada's eyes glanced back towards Sara who was frantically shaking her head. Ada smirked and grabbed onto her hand, pulling her from behind John. In one swift move, she had forced her out in front of the brothers where she now stood, face to face with Tommy. His eyes widened at the very sight of her. He almost forgot everyone else was in the room, May included, who was now looking between the two quizzically. Her eyes fell onto the young woman who had now appeared. She studied her face carefully, a look of recognition fell on her but she couldn't quite remember where she knew this woman from. Sara's gaze dropped from Tommy to May who was now turned and facing her. She recognised her immediately. Being well aware of her feelings towards Tommy, Sara took a step back. She had been wrong, so wrong. Tommy did have someone. She should never have come.

"…..Excuse me." She signed, breathlessly. She turned her body and pushed her way through the rest of the family, forcing the door to the Garrison open and into the night air. She could just about hear the surprised cries of those she had left behind as she disappeared from sight and the last voice she heard was Tommy's.

"Sara! Wait!" he had called after her, but she couldn't stop. She let her feet carry her, with no idea where she was going. She followed the streets as far as she could until eventually she came to a canal. Boats were docked up along the sides but there was no one in sight. _This must be the cut._ Sara remembered Ada telling her about it. Finally, her chest couldn't take it anymore and she brought herself back to a slow pace. Coming to one of the bridges, she disappeared underneath it, into the darkness. She leaned against the cool bricks and closed her eyes, trying to make sense of the evening.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tommy paced the snug impatiently, confused looks all around him.

"Ada, what the fuck is going on?" he yelled.

Ada stared at him, refusing to let her anger overcome her. "You're asking me, dear brother? You want to know the truth?"

Tommy stopped in his tracks and turned to face her, ignoring the quizzical looks from his family and May, who was still seated at the table. "Of course I want to know the fuckin' truth!"

She took in a deep breath. This wasn't how she imagined this scenario playing in her mind. She had imagined their eyes meeting across the room and them running to each other, accepting that they were meant to be together. She believed Sara was the key to Tommy's happiness and she was determined for them to reunite but now, it had all fucked up and it was all Tommy's fault. What the hell was that woman doing here?

"Well, Thomas, I'll tell you the truth. She came back. For you. Although, I'm struggling to understand what would possess her to do such a stupid thing now, because clearly, you have no interest. How do you think she feels now eh? She's travelled all this way to be with you and she finds you sitting cosy with the woman who you promised her, you had no further involvement with!"

"Ada, listen…."

"No, you listen, I'm telling you right now Tommy, that woman is the closest thing I've had to a friend in years and I am not goin' to let you fuck her over!" Ada's face was reddening with each word she took. She was struggling to hold in the rage she felt that her friend was now wandering the streets of Small Heath, alone. "I have no idea where she is now! She could get hurt out there!"

Tommy started to make a move towards the door but Polly stepped in front of him, pushing her hand to his chest. "We'll find her. You need to let her calm down."

Lifting his hand to his head, Tommy ran his fingers through his hair, trying to regulate his breathing. This had been the last thing he had been expecting. He thought back to the last few letters he had received from Sara and he couldn't recall a single point where she had intimated her desire to come back to England, and for them to be together. Sure, he had dreamt of it. It was the only nights he didn't awake with the sounds of the scraping against the walls, when he dreamt of her. She settled him. His eyes darted around the room at his family who were still standing staring at him.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Find her!" he ordered, desperate to go with them but he knew, he probably wouldn't be the one she wanted to see at that point. They quickly looked at each other before closing the snug door and making their way out into the street. Tommy took a deep breath and turned back to the woman sitting behind him.

"What's going on Tommy?" May asked, lifting her glass to take a drink. Deep down, she knew the truth, but she wanted to hear it directly from him.

Tommy sat back down in the seat he had previously occupied, placing his head in his hands. "Do you remember the woman I told you about?"

Sighing with recollection, she now remembered where she had seen the woman before. As she had stood before her this evening, her memory had drifted back to Epsom. When she had been speaking with John, she remembered walking past a woman whilst she had been waiting on Thomas appearing. If she really thought hard, she knew now, this was the same woman. "The one you said was sailing away?" She finally spoke.

Thomas nodded into his hands. "It would appear she has sailed back." He lifted his head again and rested his chin onto his knuckles.

"And she is the one you love? The one who truly has your heart?"

He looked up at her. "The one I love. The one who has my heart." He repeated back to her, almost finding humour in the statement. Had anyone told him six months ago that he would be in this position, he'd have laughed at them. Well, probably not laughed, he barely laughed these days.

"Then, you should go to her." May stood from the chair, taking one last drink from her glass. She placed her hand on Thomas' shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before making her way out of the pub, leaving him behind, for what she knew would be the last time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I used to come here when I was a boy and I wanted to get away from everything. I'd sometimes hide in the tunnels and jump on the passing barges, pretend I was a pirate." John lit his cigarette and stood with the tips of his boots handing just over the edge of the canal bank, his voice loud enough for her to hear.

She stepped out from the darkness and wiped her cheek with her gloved hand. She shivered with the coldness as she stepped out into the open air. "How did you find me?"

"Well, given that you don't know the area, I figured you'd keep running in a straight line until you couldn't run anymore. And this is as far as you could get. Plus when I came round the corner, I could hear you crying. Don't say 'out to the others, but I'm actually the smart one around here, although, they'd never admit it" He gave her a smirk as she came into his view. He took his cigarette from his mouth and handed it to her. She gratefully took it before moving back into the darkness of the tunnel, leaning back against the wall. John followed her, standing on the opposite side from her. "So whats the script then Sara?"

She stood in silence for a few more minutes, contemplating her answer but also enjoying the silence for a bit longer as she knew it was unlikely to last. "In what sense, John?"

"You were at the races. Looked like you was waitin' on someone. Who was you waitin' on Sara?" he demanded.

"I was waiting on Thomas." She admitted. "Then I heard you and Mrs Carleton talking."

"An' you put two and two together and got five right?"

Her brow furrowed. "Well, no. There is something between them, am I right?"

"There was." He pushed himself up from the wall and took a few steps towards her. "There ain't any longer. Tommy bought a new horse today. She's trainin' it. Same way she did wi' the last one. She came round tonight to get a look at it. There ain't nuthin' between them anymore. I don't know anythin' about you. Tommy ain't one for tellin' us about his women. We usually just find out. He ain't never mentioned no yank though."

Sara looked up at him, trying to read him, but indecipherable facial expressions were clearly a well tuned Shelby talent. But, she reasoned, so was honesty. Having known both Tommy and Ada, she had learnt that the Shelby family clearly had no filter. They said it, like it was, whether you liked it or not. She took another drag of the cigarette and stood up so she was eye level with him.

"You want the truth, John Shelby?" she asked, sizing him up, refusing to show any ounce of fear or hesitation.

He nodded in response. His eyes roamed across the woman's face. She was almost as good as he was at hiding her emotions. Her red, puffy eyes slightly betrayed her, but her voice did not. It was strong and unwavering as she spoke.

"I care deeply your brother. That is the truth." She admitted. "You are the only one I have admitted this to. I haven't even said this to Ada, although I'm sure she is well aware of my feelings. The problem that I have is, that I am still married. Although my husband is a difficult man. I have been back in America for the last few weeks. I fled partly because of him and partly, because I didn't believe I had a place in your brothers heart. He can be a very difficult man to read."

John sniggered briefly. "Understatement of the century, Sara."

"I came back after we exchanged a number of letters. He spoke to me so fondly, I almost felt as though he was with me. We never had….relations….before I left, so to have him speak to me this way, despite this, I felt as though the words he was writing to me were so honest and genuine. My heart ached for him. I considered my choices for so long before I finally got on that boat. He told me that he used to flip a coin when it came to making decisions. I did this on several occasions. I told him that if it turned to heads, I would stay there and live my life in New York. Each time I flipped it though, it always turned on tails. I knew I shouldn't rest my fate upon the turn of a coin, but I took it as a sign. However, ultimately, I knew what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted him. So I came back. I think, seeing him with her, I panicked. I suddenly felt as though the reality wasn't living up to the fantasy I created in my head. I understand the line of work you all do, but I came back in spite of that. It doesn't bother me. I can assure you, I've lived through worse."

John's brow furrowed as he bit off the end of a new toothpick and placed it within his lips. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to get into it here. Let's just say, I lived a childhood that no person should ever go through. I'm tougher than I look. People underestimate me. My husband underestimated me." Sara took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "I knew I had to go back. I had to leave him. He beat me senseless and for the first time in my life, I never fought back. I was terrified of him. I think because I'd never seen him that way. He took me completely by surprise. It was the night I came back from the races. He was waiting on me coming home. I think he knew at that point that I cared for another. His jealousy was clear and it was as though he couldn't contain his anger any longer. He needed to vent and needed someone to channel all his negative energy into, and I just happened to be the closest thing. The next day, he went to work and I left. I took my wedding rings off and left them on the table and walked out the door. I stayed at a hotel in Southampton until I could get the next boat out of there. And then, a couple of weeks later, I received the first of many letters from your brother and in the end, that's why I've come back."

"Well then, you best get yourself back. He'll be worried sick about you. We told him to keep away until you had calmed down. Didn't think it would be a great idea if he found you first." John smiled. He walked towards her and offered out his arm. She glanced at it for a second before accepting it. Having spoken with John, she felt better within herself and was ready to face Thomas once more. Together, they walked back towards Watery Lane in silence, having said everything they needed to. John briefly glanced to the woman as they walked together. Seeing her now, under the light from the moon and the street lights, he could appreciate her beauty. John had to hand it to Tommy, he somehow always managed to involve himself with the prettiest of girls but having known a good number of those he had been with, he recognised there was something different about this one. For a start, to learn that they had known each other for so long but Tommy hadn't yet bedded her was surprising. Somehow she had managed to resist the Thomas Shelby charm and for that, John had a great deal of respect for her. She was a woman of class and now that he had an, albeit very brief, insight into her life up until now, he recognised her strength and only hoped that Tommy wouldn't fuck this up.

"Ready?" John turned to her as they approached the house she had visited earlier.

She looked up at him and nodded, her heart now felt as though it was in her throat. John grinned at her, giving her a cheeky wink before turning the knob and pushing the door open. He stepped back, allowing her to walk ahead of him. She took a deep breath and made her way inside. John closed the door behind him, the sound radiating through the house. She suddenly heard the sounds of chairs scraping across the floor and was taken by surprise as the door up ahead of her was swung open, revealing a panicked looking Ada.

"Sara! Thank god!" Ada ran towards her friend and enveloped her in a tight hug. "I've been worried sick."

"I apologise for worrying you all." Sara glanced up at the crowd which had now appeared in the kitchen door. She saw Polly standing with Arthur and Finn. Karl was no where to be seen but Sara reasoned it was now late and he was likely in bed, asleep. She slowly pulled away from Ada's grip and looked her in the eyes. "I really am sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just had to get away. The situation was….overwhelming."

Ada nodded. "We understand Sara. But you need to talk to him. There's nothing between May and him. She's gone. Tommy's going to find another horse trainer."

Sara's brow furrowed. "He is?" She looked up at Polly, concerned that her actions that evening would have destroyed any chance of her having a good relationship with this woman. She simply smiled and nodded.

"He's upstairs love. We had some difficulty trying to keep him here. He was determined to come and find you, but we all agreed he would probably be the last person you wanted to see." Polly smiled.

"Thank you for your understanding. I do appreciate it."

Polly turned to the boys behind her. "Off with you all now. Excitements over. John? A word?" she motioned to John who was still standing at the door. Sara briefly turned as he made his way past her. She briefly grasped his hand, causing him to stop and face her.

"Thank you." She whispered.

Simply giving her another wink, he pulled away from her and made his was into the kitchen with Polly closing the door behind him.

"Where is he Ada?" Sara turned her attention back to her friend. "What room?"

Ada grinned. "Top of the stairs. Room at the back."

She simply nodded, pulling her coat closer to her body, before making her way up the staircase.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N – Thank you all for your support on this story so far. I hope you're still enjoying it! Given their reunion, this chapter is going to be slightly pushing the T rating but won't be so graphic that its into an M/MA. If you don't wish to read those parts, you can skip past them. I'll use * to highlight the start and end.**

 **Chapter 17**

He sat on the edge of the bed where he had been sitting for the last hour. He had pulled his jacket off and it now hung across the nearby chair. He felt as though he couldn't breathe. Pulling his tie off and unbuttoning the top few buttons on his shirt was doing nothing to ease the tightness he felt in his chest. Why, of all possible times for her to appear, did it have to be at that moment? He leaned forward, opened the drawer of his dresser and pulled out her letters. He glanced through each one until he finally came to the most recent one she had sent.

 _My darling,_

 _How my heart flies when I receive a letter from you. It pleases me so when I see an envelope appear with your handwriting._

 _Needless to say, my family have grown suspicious about the frequency of the letters which appear for me. They are badgering me for information about who is writing to me and who is responsible for putting the smile back on my face._

 _For long enough, I did not smile. Not even when something was very amusing. Nothing could bring back the spark I felt before I left for England in April. My father had consistently commented about how my eyes had lost their sparkle but each time a letter arrived, I could see him studying me intently. He could see the life come back into them whenever I rushed upstairs and into my bedroom to read your most recent correspondence._

 _I am going to be as honest with you as I think I ever have been so far. I am not a person who has regrets. I don't believe in them. I believe that the choices we make, shape us as people, whether they were the right choices or not. But, I do now have one regret. I regret asking you to leave that night. You had been so kind to me, rescuing me in the park and taking me back to Ada's. You let me hide out away from my husband and for that, I am eternally grateful. I couldn't face going back there. You showed no judgement and asked no difficult questions, accepting my silence without pushing me. When I awoke and saw you sleeping in that armchair, I couldn't help myself but reach out to you. Your skin was soft. That was quite surprising. But I will never forget the terror in your eyes when you awoke. You looked so scared. You haven't told me much about your reasons for this. I hope one day, you will trust enough to confide in me. But then, you kissed me. And it was as though all your energy was transferred into that kiss. I had never felt anything like it. Never has another man touched me since that night and I live with the constant regret that I sent you away. How I wish I could take it back, go back in time and not stop. If I could do it again, I wouldn't stop you. I swear to you, I wouldn't stop._

 _I hope and pray we get that chance again._

 _I continue to study the coin which now has a permanent place at the side of my bed. I'm almost scared to flip it in case it says heads. Part of me doesn't want anything visual to appear which would suggest I would be better off here, without you. Perhaps, by the time this letter reaches you, I will have flipped that coin. But then again, is there really much point when you already know what side you want it to land on?_

 _Sending all my love to you,_

 _Your Sara_

As Tommy reread the letter, which he had probably read twenty times since receiving it a few days earlier, suddenly the content of it made so much more sense. He had been confused by it. Reading it again, now that she had arrived back in England, he understood it better. He had her decision in his hands the whole time. She had already decided at that point that she was coming back to him, despite what the flip of the coin said.

He started to read it again when a faint knock at the door startled him from his thoughts.

"Not now Pol." He called.

"Its me." The faint voice came from behind the door and he immediately got to his feet. Still grasping her letters, he took two long strides and pulled the door open, almost hauling it off his hinges. Their eyes met and he took in the very sight of her. The first good look he had managed to get of her since she had arrived. She was still as beautiful as he remembered although, as he glanced over her figure, he could tell, even under her coat, that she had lost weight. Her face looked slightly gaunt and her cheekbones were more prominent than he remembered. They stared at each other for the longest time before Tommy finally stepped aside, motioning for her to enter. She looked down at the ground as she made her way into the room, turning back to face him as he closed the door behind them. Her eyes fell from his face down to the papers he was fiddling with in his hands.

"What are those?" she finally spoke.

He looked down at them and felt a smile tug at his lips. He took a few steps towards her and sat down on the bed, patting the covers beside him. She hesitated for a second before sitting down next to him. He handed her the folded papers which she took. He watched her face intently as she started reading through them.

"You kept them all?" she turned her head towards him.

He nodded, lifting his hand up to her cheek, running his fingers through the strands of blonde hair which hung loosely at the side of her face. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek into him, pressing it gently against his palm. "I read them mostly at night, when I felt lonely. It made me feel as though I had a part of you here."

Her eyelids fluttered open and immediately fell on his crystal clear irises. Using her free hand, she lifted it up and placed it over Tommy's. How she had longed just to feel him again, and now here he was, inches away from her. Her eyes drifted down to his full lips. She could see he was gently panting with the anticipation and she could feel his breath on her.

He studied her intently, trying to gauge what she was thinking and feeling at that very moment but she was completely unreadable. He thought back to the night in Ada's home. They had been staring at each other in this same way, just as she had awoken him from his restless slumber and he remembered thinking, she had never looked more beautiful in that moment. But he had been wrong. Now, seeing her here, in front of him after so many weeks apart, his heart craved her love. He gently lifted his other hand and cupped her cheeks delicately. Leaning toward her, Tommy rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes, trying to convince himself that she was really here in front of him.

Unable to take much more, Sara dropped the letters to the floor and clambered up onto her knees, taking him by surprise. Her hands flew to the loosely buttoned shirt and she softly pulled him up to meet her gaze. Everything she had wanted for the past few weeks was now in front of her. She stared down towards him, desire flicking across her eyes and she felt the longing grow within her. Unwilling to wait any longer, she dipped her head towards him and softly pressed her lips to his.

It took him a few seconds to properly react but once he was able to, he found himself pulling her closer to his body, getting lost within their kiss. Something was different this time. When he had kissed her before, he had quickly felt her reluctance, but this time, she initiated it and he could tell from her body language that everything she had confessed in her most recent letter was true. She wasn't going to stop him this time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

His hands drifted from her face down to the front of her coat which he carefully unbuttoned, pulling it down off her arms and throwing it hastily on the floor. He moved his hands around her back and started loosening her dress. She quickly reciprocated and found herself tugging the shirt up over his head. Slowing their pace, Sara sat back slightly, their eyes never leaving each other. He was leaning back on his elbows and Sara had found herself straddling him, her dress still hanging on her shoulders. His naked torso was completely exposed to her and this being the first time she had ever seen him like this, she felt herself redden under his watchful gaze. Quickly, her eyes left his and she turned her head away.

"Hey, hey…" he sat up again, turning her face back to him with his index finger. "What's wrong? Do you want to stop?"

And with that brief show of compassion, the yearning in her body took over again and she claimed his lips again. "No." she breathed, huskily.

Tommy felt his hands roam up her arms until they reached her collarbone. Snaking a finger in at each side, he pulled the fabric of her dress down her body. His lips had moved from her lips to her earlobe before finally trailing down her neck. His hands travelled across her back, automatically searching for a bra strap and he arched an eyebrow to himself when he discovered there was none. Undeterred, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and took her by surprise as he flipped her over. Sara let out a yelp as her head met the soft pillow, cushioning the blow. Tommy's breath hitched in his throat as his eyes fell upon her semi naked form. He had dreamt of this moment over and over again but yet, in no way, did it live up to the reality. Dropping his head again, his lips trailed down the middle of her chest, over her navel, before his hands finally caught up with him and removed the rest of her garments. She quickly reciprocated, sitting up and helping him out of the trousers and underwear he still had on. Smiling, she lay back down on the pillow, tugging at his hand, indicating he should lay with her. Pulling the covers along with him, Tommy lay over her, his right leg tucked in between hers and his fingers automatically wrapped themselves in her hair which was now laying chaotically across the pillow. He dropped his head towards her, pulling her in for yet another kiss. His lips were starting to tingle as he felt her nibble gently on the bottom one. An action which brought a grin to his face, which still showed as they parted.

Looking up at him, she lifted her hand and ran her fingertips softly over the cut that ran along his hairline. Despite her curiousity, she chose not to speak, not wanting anything to ruin their moment. Their bodies were pressed up against each other as he began kissing her again. He had managed to get a good look at her under the soft light from the nearby flickering candle. He was probably biased but to him, she was perfection. Kissing her again, he manoeuvred himself so he was lying above her. There was no longer an urgency in their actions. Feeling contentment for the first time in years, Tommy rested his lips on her forehead, gently pressing them into a kiss. He moved down and placed another on the tip of her nose before finally moving back down to her lips. He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

Her mind was in overdrive. So much anticipation surrounded them and she could feel the tension between them, you could almost cut it with a knife. She looked up at the man who was hovering above her and never in a million years, did she ever think she would finally be in this position with him. Remembering back to the night she had pushed him away, she had always regretted it but now, she finally had her chance with him.

Tommy took a deep breath as he gazed down at her. She had intoxicated him since he had first been in her house and he had struggled to get her out of his mind since then. To now have her, in his bed was incredibly satisfying to him. But yet, she didn't feel like a conquest for him. She wasn't in his bed through any manipulation, or any transfer of payment. She was here because she wanted to be and that meant something to him. Despite their obvious attraction to each other, Tommy still didn't know how easy it was going to be for Sara to dissolve her marriage. More so, because he didn't know how simple her husband would make it for her to walk away. He still felt incredible rage when he thought about what she had been through before she had gone back to New York and it killed him that he hadn't been there to protect her. He thought about Epsom and how different things may have been, had he been able to meet her after the races. Perhaps, if he had been able to, she would have come back with him. She'd have chosen him at that point and left her old life behind to be with him. But he had taken that away from her by not being there, and for that, he felt guilty. But, he couldn't think of that at this time. His eyes flickered back over her and he could see that she was desperately studying him.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered.

He shook his head softly. "Nothing important."

"Then come back to me."

She lifted her head and her lips met his again, pulling him closer to her. He carefully nudged open her legs and rested his full body in between them. Tommy felt himself getting lost in her kiss again, and as he did, he allowed his hand to drift down her body until it finally rested on her thigh. Slipping underneath, he gently lifted her so she arched her back against him. His kisses became urgent again as their bodies became one together. Tommy felt himself gasp as she took him completely and he almost felt himself come undone as he heard the soft moan escape her lips. She was so ready for him and never at any time had he felt as though two people were more made for each other. Their bodies moved slowly in rhythm together and Tommy could feel beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead. They continued like that for some time until Sara took him by surprise by rolling them round so she was now straddling him yet again, their bodies still connected. She sat up, placing her hands on his bare stomach and moved herself against him. Tommy's eyes opened as she did, and he could appreciate her beauty once more and how her skin glowed under the soft candlelight. His hands moved up and rested on the tops of her hips, helping to control her movements. Unable to take the distance between them, Tommy sat up and wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her tight to him. She buried her face in his neck and grasped onto him as they moved in sync, both crying out as they found their own release.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The nearby candles had long since burned out and Sara felt her eyelashes flutter open as she glanced around the room trying to get her bearings. It was then that she heard the soft breathing coming from underneath her head. She smiled as she remembered where she was. Her head was moving slowly up and down with the gentle breaths that Tommy was taking. She looked down at her hand which was resting across his naked stomach, the covers only just hiding his lower half. Carefully she lifted her head and turned it towards him, being cautious not to disturb his hand which was resting across her shoulder blades. She looked up at his face and she could just about make out the outline of his features but what she did notice was the contentment on his face. His lips weren't twisted and his forehead wasn't creased as they were the night he had slept in the armchair beside her. She slid up the bed and rested her head against the pillow case, moving her hand from his stomach onto his chest. It was then that she could just about make out the tattoo. She traced her fingertips gently across it, following the outline as best as she could see under the poor light. Leaning over, she placed a soft kiss upon his cheek before finally resting her head back down and letting sleep overcome her.

He shifted in his sleep as the movement against him disturbed his peaceful slumber. The morning light was peeking through the curtains which hung against the window and glancing over to the clock sitting on the nearby table, he could see that it was almost seven a.m. He rubbed the sleep from the corner of his eyes and shifted slightly under the sheets. He felt a slight tickle on his shoulder blade and he turned his head in the direction of it, smiling as his eyes rested on the blonde hair which was sprawled across his chest. Her hand was draped over his stomach and she had buried her face into the nook of his arm which was now resting flat across the bed. Relishing the feel of her naked body pressed against him, he lifted it up and wrapped it around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. It almost felt surreal that she was lying here with him. He gripped tighter onto her as she murmured in her sleep, her leg moved to hook over his and her fingers drifted up to his chest. Her head tilted up so Tommy could now see the soft outline of her face. Lifting his head from the pillow, he leaned forward and rested his lips on her forehead, satisfied as a small smile seemed to appear on her face and she gripped onto him tighter. He rested his head back down and stared up at the ceiling. He knew he would need to get up soon. It wasn't like him to sleep past six and he was surprised that his brothers or aunt hadn't been up knocking on the door. He assumed that they were well aware that Sara had spent the night with him given that John's old room was currently undisturbed. His mind started to run into overdrive as he considered the situation. It was more than complicated. He hadn't been told the full story of what caused Sara to move back to America but given the few facts that Ada had told him, he wasn't happy about it and he knew he would likely need to pay this husband of hers a visit. Looking back down at her, he couldn't understand how anyone could ever hurt this woman and the thought of it shook him to his core. Thinking back over their time together, when he had first spotted her coming out of her house, he had never imagined she would ever end up meaning this much to him. Tommy wasn't a man who let people in very easily, and it was unusual for any woman to penetrate his hard exterior. Sex was a more functional process for him now. Since the war and Grace, he felt as though he had lost the ability to love someone and he had chosen to use the services of Lizzie on numerous occasions instead of putting up with the drama of a relationship. He had enough going on in his life without an over bearing woman putting demand on his already precious time. He had begun to feel as though May would have been the woman to break down his barriers but even she hadn't managed to hold his attention for too long. But now, as he looked back down to Sara, he wondered if she would be the one who could potentially make him settle down. It was then that he realised he had slept soundly all night. He didn't feel tired from having a restless sleep and didn't remember waking up to the familiar scraping noises which plagued him on a nightly basis. Perhaps, she was the one to break him out of the darkness which covered his world. He felt satisfied and content with her, and the fact she had seemed to keep the scraping at bay gave him more answers than he realised.

 **A/N – Hi all! I hope that was alright for you! Too much? Not enough? You tell me! It'll help me shape any future similar scenes.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"So Ada, are you going to tell me more about this girl? Who is she?"

Polly poured the tea into their cups and placed the teapot back on the stove. She sat down at the table, lifting the cup and taking a drink. Her dark curled hair was pinned up away from her face, and her eyes bore into her young niece sitting across from her.

"I'll be honest Pol, I wasn't sure of her to start with." Ada admitted. "When I first met her, I thought she would be stuck up. Her husband certainly seemed that way."

Polly's eyebrow arched, indicating she was interested to hear more about this Husband that Sara had mentioned the night before.

Ada nodded, taking a quick drink and avoiding Polly's stare. "I'll get to that."

"When she moved in, she did so with her husband. The first time I ever met her was out in the street. I was probably quite rude to her but then a couple of hours later, there was a knock at the door. It was Sara, and she was standing there with Finn and Karl. They had gotten away from Tommy. Sara brought them back. Again, I think I was quite rude to her, but once I'd settled down, I was so grateful to her. It was back around the time that Tommy was having problems with Sabini and the thought of those two running around alone, in London, with Sabini on the rampage, I was just so glad it was Sara that found them. After that, we just got closer. She's the closest thing I've had to a true friend in years." Ada stood up and placed her cup in the sink. She turned to face Polly again, leaning against the worktop. "I never realised there was anything between her and Tommy until after Epsom. I'd popped in to see her and I couldn't quite believe what I walked into. She was black and blue, right around her eye and cheek."

Ada motioned with her hand to show Polly the location of Sara's injuries.

"After speaking with her though, it was clear nowt had actually happened between her and Tommy. I think it had been infatuation up until that point, but I think her husband knew there was someone else. He clearly ain't a man who likes to think his wife has feelings for another and he must have felt threatened. By that point, she had gone to Epsom to find Tommy. During the time she was here, she was working for Alfie Solomons, as his bookkeeper and she found out some information which threatened Tommy's life. She followed him to Epsom to warn him. Of course though, our Tom already knew, but I think he was quite impressed by her tenacity. She put herself at risk by telling him what she knew. He told her to wait for him but when she did, May appeared, looking for Tommy. I think that was hard for her, to see someone else want him the way she did, so she ran. When she came home, her husband was waiting for her."

Polly nodded. "I spoke with John, the night you both arrived. He explained some of this to me. So what now?"

Ada shrugged. "I know she doesn't want to go back to him, but ultimately, she's still married to him. I don't know how she's getting' out of that."

"Well, if our Tommy cares about her the way I think he does, I have a feeling he isn't going to let the beatings slide." Polly knew her nephew inside out and understood his need for absolute control. It kept him sane and gave him the ability to dominate those around him. She hadn't seen the two together so she wasn't sure yet how she felt about the situation. Tommy had gotten himself involved with the wrong woman in the past and she wasn't entirely happy with him being with a married woman, whether she wanted to be married or not was irrelevant. Their conversation was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps making their way down the stairs behind them. The smell of fresh smoke lingered in the air as Tommy made his way into the kitchen beside them.

"Not intruding am I?" he enquired.

"Not at all." Polly got to her feet and made her way to the sink. "Not like you to sleep in."

"I slept well, is all." Tommy offered no further comment, choosing to make his way towards the door. "Sara's still asleep. Don't disturb her." He had his coat already on and he pulled his hat from the pocket, placing it on his head, pulling it down over his face. Opening the front door, he stepped out into the daylight and closed it behind him, making his way down to the cut.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sara, this is too much! I can't wear this!"

The two women stood in John's old room, getting ready for that evening. They were heading back to London the following day so they were making the most of their last night and planned on spending it with Ada's family in the Garrison. Within Sara's suitcase, she had packed several of her dresses from New York and she was having fun dressing Ada up.

"Ada, this looks great on you! The colour really works with your skin tone." Sara was holding up a deep purple dress against Ada's body. "Just try it on."

"What are you talking about?" Ada laughed. "Skin tone?!"

"Just try it." She pushed it into her hands. "I promise you, you'll love it."

Ada sighed, shaking her head. "Fine, fine, fine, but if I look stupid, I'm not going anywhere!"

"Deal."

Sara lifted up another dress from the pile and held it against herself, looking in the mirror. Satisfied, she took her time to slip herself into it. As she buttoned it up, she noticed Ada appearing in the doorway. A smile grew on her face as she turned to face her.

"Looks great!" Sara grinned.

"Ok, I'll admit it. I love it." Ada smiled, taking another look in the mirror.

"Good. It's yours." Lifting her coat and slipping on her shoes, Sara walked towards the door, leaving Ada stunned, behind her."

"What?" She turned again, her eyes following her friend as she made her way into the hallway.

Sara was already gone. "No arguments! Come on, lets go."

The women linked arms as they made their way down the street towards the noisy pub. The sky was getting dark but they could make out the cobbled road by the lights which lined the pathway. Stepping in front of Sara, Ada pushed open the Garrison door. The chatter quietened slightly as the women may their way inside. Sara was immediately taken aback by the attention they seemed to be drawing to themselves. Her eyes darted around, desperately watching where Ada was going. This was only the second time she had stepped foot inside the bar and she wasn't confident to do her own thing yet.

"Usually, we sit in there." Ada pointed across to the snug door. "But at night, when its busy, we tend to be out here. There's Arthur and John, come on." Ada linked her arm back into Sara's and hauled her towards the bar.

"Well aren't you two a sight for sore eyes." Arthur smirked, holding his glass up.

John turned to face Sara. Ever since she had arrived, he had been making it his aim to keep an eye on her and ensure that she was alright. After their conversation when she had first arrived, he felt protective of her. "Drink, Sara?"

She smiled sweetly at him. "Thanks John. Gin, please."

Sara looked around, taking in the atmosphere. She looked at the faces which surrounded her before her thoughts were interrupted by John holding out her glass. She thanked him and moved closer to Ada. Suddenly feeling anxious, she felt as though eyes were on her. Warily, she looked around, trying to work out where the stare was coming from. Her eyes finally settled on a tall, dark haired woman who was leaning against the bar a few feet away from her. Embarrassed, her eyes dropped to her glass which she rolled around within her palms. Unbeknown to her, John had been studying her intently. He had watched as her eyes had landed upon Lizzie standing at the other end of the bar and now that she had turned away, he could see that Lizzie's eyes still bore into her. Chuckling to himself, he took a drink of his whisky before continuing the conversation. He heard the door open and noticed silence had suddenly descended upon the bar so he knew he didn't have to look up to know who had appeared.

"Evenin' all."

Feeling his arm drape over her shoulder, Sara's eyes drifted up to him and she smiled as they finally settled on his bright blue orbs. He grinned at her and planted a soft kiss on her hair. Sara turned her head back towards the tables around her and was confused to see the surprised looks on everyone's faces. As she glanced over them, she noticed them quickly turning away from her, not meeting her gaze.

"They've never seen Tommy so open, in public, with a woman. Its quite a novelty. Even for us. This is a new experience for the family as well." Ada winked at her, sensing her confusion.

Sara nodded, trying to stop the redness appearing on her cheeks, uncomfortable with all the attention she knew they were gathering. She knocked back the drink that was in her hand before placing it back atop the bar.

"Refill love?" The barman spoke.

Sara nodded to him, turning her head back towards the bar, aware that Tommy's arm had tightened around her and his hand was hovering over her chest. Looking up, her eyes fell back on the woman at the end of the bar who was now staring irritably at them.

"Tommy?" she whispered.

"Yes love?" he smiled down at her.

Sara's eyes softened as she gazed back up at him. He had a gentle aura around him which she had never noticed during their first few meetings. It was as though he had grown relaxed. It hadn't gone unnoticed by his family that his whole persona was different. Admittedly, he had been able to keep it under wraps when he was out with the Blinders doing jobs, but in the comfort of his own home and within the protection of his family, he occasionally let it slip out. Polly and Ada had numerous conversations over the last couple of days about the change they had seen in Tommy. It was unlike anything they had seen before, even when he was with Grace, he had never let his guard down in public where she was concerned.

"Who is that woman?" Sara motioned across to the woman who still hadn't taken his eyes off of them. "She keeps staring at us."

Tommy looked up to where Sara's focus was, and his heart sank when he saw Lizzie watching them. He knew she would be curious as to who was with him, but her gawking was irritating him.

"Excuse me."

Tommy planted another kiss on her head and placed his glass down on the bar. Releasing her from his grasp, he pushed his way past Arthur and took a few steps along the bar before he finally reached Lizzie. Her eyes dropped down as she noticed him coming towards her. She pushed her glass away from her and was about to make a move to leave when Tommy gripped her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"Problem Lizzie?" he growled, quietly into her ear.

She looked up at him. "Not at all Mr Shelby."

"Don't seem that way."

"Who is she?" she asked.

"None of your fuckin' business Lizzie." He sighed. "Don't forget your place. You work for me and that is it. I've told you this before. I'm telling you now, if you don't like it, you can quite easily go back to making your living horizontally. Do not confuse our business relationship with anything else. Now, you're making her uncomfortable, which in turn, is pissin' me off, so cut it. The fuck. Out."

Tommy released her arm and turned away from her, making his way back to his brothers where he automatically returned to Sara's side, who had now perched herself on one of the bar stools. His arm went back to her shoulder and he pulled her close to him. She nuzzled her face into his chest, inhaling his intoxicating smell.

"Sorted." He whispered into her ear, giving her a quick wink.

Sara gave him a brief smile and glanced back over at the woman who had since ordered another drink. She stole fleeting glances at her as she necked the drink and stormed out of the pub. Something told her, it was far from sorted.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The first raindrops had started to fall on the cobbled street as they exited the pub. Tommy held tightly onto her delicate hand as he pulled her gently towards Watery Lane, glancing briefly over his shoulder, suppressing the unnatural smile which threatened to appear on his lips. He had to admit that he had felt like smiling more in the last two days, than he had in the last two years, and he knew his family had noticed it, Polly in particular, and he knew at one point, she would corner him to quiz him about this girl. Quite what he felt for her, he wasn't sure yet. _Was it really love?_ He wasn't sure. His thoughts drifted back to the words spoken to him three years ago by Inspector Campbell.

 _What love we get, we will have to pay for."_

Was he right? Tommy had been strong in front of him, refusing to back down but in the time since, he had doubted his strength. Perhaps it was true, men like him didn't deserve love. But yet, as he glanced back at the beauty who was following him in every step he took, he questioned it. She peeked up at him from under the tendrils of blonde hair which had fallen wildly across her forehead, her eyes were fierce and piercing and she gripped onto his hand tightly as she rushed after him, purse held precariously above her head in a fickle attempt to keep the rain from loosening out her curls. They had left the rest of the family behind in the Garrison and taken a brief opportunity to sneak away. As they reached the doorway, Tommy fumbled with the keys as he tried to unlock the door, aware that Sara was shivering beside him. With success, he pushed the door and held it open for her, stepping back to allow her to walk ahead. She sighed loudly as she quickly pulled her soaking coat from her body and desperately rubbed her hands up and down her arms, trying mercilessly to get some kind of heat into her skin. Smirking at her, Tommy closed the door over and made his way into the living room, grabbing her hand as he passed her.

"Sit." He ordered, with a brief smile, making his way to the table and pouring them both a drink. "I only have Irish, is that alright?"

She laughed as he mimicked their first meeting and gratefully took the glass and sat down on the couch. She took a drink and then placed it down on the table beside her, automatically moving her hands back to her arms, caressing the bare skin yet again. Her dress was doing nothing to provide any heat for her now and she sighed with relief as she watched Tommy head over to the fireplace and make attempts to light it. After a few minutes, she was thankful to see the red and amber flames start to lick the wood and heat began radiating around the small room. Tommy stayed kneeling by the fire, grateful for the warmth as it hit his face, and lightly prodded the coal with poker, trying to allow the flames to spread. He tensed slightly as he felt movement from behind him and turned his head slightly as Sara sat down next to him.

"Why so edgy?" she asked, innocently.

He shrugged. "Habit, I guess."

"Relax." She moved from beside him and he felt his eyes follow her as she disappeared out of his line of vision. She slipped her fingertips under the collar of his thick black coat and pulled it slowly from his shoulders. Lifting his arms up behind him, he allowed her to pull it off him, grateful for the heat now hitting the rest of his body. He watched her as she draped it over the couch before making her way back to him, sitting back down in front of the fire.

"Better?" she asked, linking her arm through his.

He nodded, tilting his head to the side and resting it on top of Sara's which had now found its way onto his shoulder. His arm automatically lifted and rested gently around her neck, pulling her closer to him. They sat in silence, staring at the flickering lights in front of them, greatly content just to sit in each others company. Placing a lingering kiss on top of her head, Tommy rested his cheek against her soft hair. _How did he ever turn into this man?_ He thought back over the last few months and in all honesty, he didn't recognise the man sitting here. He was supposed to be this hard faced gangster, he didn't let people in, didn't let people get close but yet, here he was, wrapped up with this woman in front of a smouldering fire. It had the makings of a romance novel and yet, it was so far detached from his usual style. He didn't do romance, didn't do love. He hadn't done since Grace and he'd always told himself he wouldn't go through it again. No woman would ever be worth the pain. But despite this, he found he was willing to give himself to the girl sitting beside him, but he wasn't convinced she would be able to handle him, or his life, or his family. It was a lot to ask of someone, particularly for someone from her background. She was from a rich, well respected family in New York and hadn't ever been involved in anything like what his life entailed. How would she ever be able to fit in?

"What are you thinking about?" her voice suddenly broke into his thoughts.

He lifted his head, which prompted her to do the same, and looked down at her. Her eyes were wide and Tommy felt himself getting lost in them. He twisted his body towards her, tucking one leg under his opposite knee and lifted his hand up, resting it upon her cheek. "What makes you think I'm thinking about something?"

She cocked her head to the side. "You've got that spaced out, vacant look on your face like you're a million miles away."

"I'm thinking about you." He admitted.

Sara's forehead furrowed. "Me? Why me? What about me?"

He laughed slightly at her sudden ambush of questions. Getting up, he walked to the other side of the couch and pushed it closer towards them. Lifting a few of the cushions and a blanket from a nearby cupboard, he made his way back to Sara and placed them down next to her. He then lifted both their glasses and refilled them before finally settling back down on the floor, propping the cushions up against the couch so they could lean back against it. He handed her the glass, removed his tie and loosened his shirt.

She watched him with somewhat discreet amusement. "Is this planning to be a long conversation? Getting comfortable?"

He shrugged, pulling the blanket over them as she kicked off her shoes. Tommy glanced up at the clock, satisfied that it was still relatively early and they were unlikely to be disturbed for some time.

"So what were you thinking about?" she asked again, almost impatiently.

"Tell me about you." He urged.

She looked at him curiously. "What about me?"

"Everything, the truth." He eyed her cautiously, watching as her eyes dropped from his intense gaze.

"There's not much to tell." She stated, matter of factly.

Tilting his head to the side, he took a drink, never conceding his stare. "Don't lie."

The tone of his voice had changed and it took her by surprise. She looked back up at him, desperately trying to understand where this conversation was going. The room was dark and she could hardly make him out, other than from the bright flicker coming from the fireplace, so she was struggling to read his expression. "I'm not sure what you're getting at."

"Well, after you left, I had many a conversation with your old boss. And he happened to mention a few of your escapades whilst you were with him. Having one of his biggest men up against a wall, knocking another guys teeth out….." He watched her intently, looking for reaction. "Now, given that you are from a well to do family, this doesn't seem like the normal behaviour of a posh girl, unless they're teaching this in Finishing School these days. So why don't you tell me where that came from?"

Her eyes dropped back down to her hands which were now fidgeting ferociously in her lap. She wasn't sure if she was quite ready to reveal her past to Tommy. She didn't want to taint the impression he currently had of her and the thought of him knowing what she had grown up in terrified her. _What if he never looks at me the same way?_ She couldn't quite bring herself to look back up at him, shame was gripping her entire body and she felt her face heating up and it wasn't from the heat of the flames.

"Hey…" he lifted her chin gently. "Nothing you tell me is goin' to change my opinion of you."

Her eyes found his and she felt his honesty radiate from him. It was almost like he had read her mind. "You don't know that. You can't say that when you don't know the truth."

"I can." He dropped his hand down and took hers, entwining their fingers together. "And I am. Now tell me."

She turned her body away from him, not wanting to look him in the eyes as she explained her shameful past. Her hands still gripped onto his, desperately not wanting to let them go. Them being the only strength she felt.

"The parents I have now, are not the ones I was born to." She began. "I grew up in one of the worst areas of New York. In a terrible neighbourhood. There were murders every day. Brothels on every corner. I don't remember my father being around. As far as I know, he took off when I was three or four months old. When I was really young, I don't remember things being that bad, but as I got older, my life went quickly downhill. With my father gone, my mother had no way of taking care of me. She had no income that I was aware of. I remember feeling perpetually hungry, taking advantage of the scraps of food that the other kids in the neighbourhood had since there was never anything at home. It was when I was around ten that I remember men appearing in our apartment." Sara paused to take a breath and closed her eyes as she felt Tommy's reassuring touch as he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. "There were so many men. Sometimes five or six a day. I saw money being exchanged but yet, nothing ever changed. My mother would spend almost all day in her bedroom but on occasion she would come out but it was usually just to drink more or take another hit. It carried on like that for years. I barely spoke to her. Unless she was yelling at me to go out and get her cigarettes or on the odd occasion, some bread. I used to tell her they didn't have any left, but what she didn't know was I ate most of it on my way home. Sometimes it was the only thing I ate all week. She didn't have the wherefore all to question me or count the change so I got away with it. I hadn't gone to school at all. I learnt to read and write from a kind neighbour who would take me in for a few hours when I used to sneak out of the house. I couldn't handle the noises coming from her room so I would slip out when she wasn't looking. He would read to me and let me stay as long as I wanted. I think he knew what was happening, but no one ever did anything. Eventually though, I got older and I started to see the same man come round the house all the time. What I didn't realise at the time was he was controlling her. He was the one arranging for all the other men to come around and he was taking her money. But then, when I was about fourteen, the men turned their attention to me."

Sara took in a deep breath, tightening her eyes closed again as she felt the tears she had been holding back snake their way down her cheek. She hadn't given her past this much thought in years but instantly she was transferred back to the cold apartment, with its bare furnishings. She remembered feeling constantly cold, dressed in moth eaten clothes and her stomach continuously rumbling with starvation. Tommy lifted his arm and pulled her too him, wrapping her up tightly.

"Shhh." He whispered, trying to comfort her. "You don't need to tell me anymore."

"No. I do. You wanted to know the truth." She pulled herself from him, attempting to compose herself. "It happened countless times. The first time, I remember like it was yesterday. I remember the excruciating pain. I remember the man. He was big and heavy and sweaty. He smelt awful. I thought my body was going to break in half. I didn't understand what was happening. Eventually he just heaved his body off of me, threw some money on the table and walked out the door. That was the first of many. Eventually, I used to sneak bottles of my mothers vodka and whisky. I drank to numb the pain. I became hooked on alcohol and cocaine. Just anything to stop myself from feeling pain. I'd just lie there and take it."

"How did you get out?" Tommy's voice broke into her thoughts.

She gave him a slight smile, remembering Ada asking her the exact same question. "She asked me to go for cigarettes. I took the money, walked out the door and just kept walking. I walked until I got all the way up town. I went to a police station and told them everything. They took me to a childrens asylum and eventually I was placed in the custody of George and Elizabeth Miller."

"Your parents?" Tommy asked.

Sara nodded. "They saved me. For the first time in my life, I felt loved and wanted. They didn't treat me any differently than they would have done, had I been their natural child. They had troubles conceiving, hence why they went through an agency. I was incredibly lucky to be placed with such an affluent family. I wanted for nothing. I was given everything I could ever want."

"Do you know what happened to your birth parents?"

"No." Sara shook her head. "I have no idea. And I have no interest. They both put me in that position. My father inadvertently put me there when he walked out and then my mother directly caused most of my problems. Needless to say, as soon as I got to the police, I had to come right off the drink and drugs. That was probably one of the hardest parts. My whole body convulsed constantly. I slept for days on end. Some days, I felt like walking out and jumping off a bridge. It was too much, too young. My body was breaking down. The doctors there said if I had been in that environment for another few weeks, I wouldn't have made it out at all."

And that was all that was needed. Sara crumbled into his arms, the tears now falling freely as she relived those years of her life that she had been successfully blanking out. Now he knew the brutal truth. He knew why deep down, she was the way she was. Why she could handle herself against these men in Alfie's factory. She'd grown up with it. She'd had to get tough. And now, as he caressed her hair with his hand as she sobbed into his lap, he could see she was completely broken. If anything, he felt even more in awe of her. She had gone through some of the worst experiences he could ever imagine, and yet, here she was. She was a strong woman. Tommy gently pulled her shoulders so she came back up to face him. Her eyes were blotchy and red and her cheeks were stained with her tears. As he stared at her, he lifted his hands to her cheeks, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"And you thought that would scare me away?" he forced a small smile.

Sara looked at him directly and shrugged. "It's not something I voluntarily share with people. I thought it would change your opinion of me. I thought it would make you hate me."

Tommy took a deep breath and pressed his lips to hers. She slowly reciprocated before he finally pulled away from her. "All its done, has made me realise just how much I love you."

 **A/N - I will be honest, I loved writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy it as well and you start to see the layers that make up our protagonist. Please let me know your thoughts so far, I really do love reading them! I'm really trying to avoid this being a typical Tommy/OC story with not much meat to it so I really hope I'm managing to do that! Thanks again!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Polly Grey paced the darkly lit living room, cigarette in hand. She glanced over the scene in front of her. She had made her way back from the Garrison in the early hours, leaving John, Arthur and Ada to take advantage of the lock in that Arthur had decided they were having. After having one last whisky, she had decided she'd had enough and made her way home. She'd noticed Tommy and Sara had slipped off hours earlier and when she'd walked home, she wasn't too sure where they had got to. However, as she'd strode into the living room, it was clear they had found their way back. Her eyes darted from the misplaced couch to the discarded pillows and blankets to Sara's unwanted dress, which was strewn across the bannister. It was pretty clear to her what had taken place. She frowned as she took another drag of her cigarette and made her way up the staircase. Taking careful paces, she slowed as she came to Tommy's bedroom door, listening intently, but no noise came from behind. She assumed they had fallen asleep, no doubt exhausted from the inevitable exertions they had taken part in. She was just about to turn around to head to her own bedroom, when slowly, the bedroom door opened, revealing a very dishevelled Sara in the doorway.

"Polly!" she whispered, taken aback at the woman standing there. "I…I didn't…"

"No need to explain." She smiled.

"I was just going to get some water." Sara pulled Thomas' shirt close to her body, trying desperately to cover up. "I wasn't expecting to run into anyone."

"Come on." Polly turned and made her way down the stair case, not before letting her eyes cast over Sara's shapely legs.

Sara dutifully followed Polly down towards the kitchen, sitting down at the table as Polly instructed.

"How about some tea instead?" Polly asked, placing the kettle on the stove.

"That would be lovely, thank you."

As the kettle boiled, Sara ran her fingertips along the edge of the cup, keeping her eyes down, somewhat scared of the woman standing above her. After reading all the notes and listening to the investigator, she felt terrified of her. Not sure whether Polly was accepting of the obvious relationship she had with her nephew.

Polly sat down across from her and poured out the tea into their cups. "You seem tense." She stated.

"I find you intimidating." She answered with brutal honesty. Polly looked up at her, somewhat taken aback by her response. Her eyes slightly widened and her left eyebrow raised high on her forehead.

"Why is that?" she enquired, genuinely interested. Polly had been called a lot of things, but intimidating was not one of them. That was a term usually kept for the men in her life.

"I know what you mean to Thomas. He looks up to you, I can tell. I think I understand the role you play within the family and I don't doubt for a second, that the men listen to you. I'm just very aware of the fact that your approval is important to them." She took a quick drink, desperately trying to wet her now dry mouth. Her body was aching with the cold due to the lack of attire she had on.

Polly nodded, not saying anything further. She took a drink whilst she considered her next words. "Do you know much about Thomas' history?"

"Not a lot so far. I figure he'll open up to me when he's ready. I don't want to push him."

Nodding again, seemingly satisfied with her response. "Well you know he was drafted?"

Sara looked up at her. "I was aware."

"He was never the same when he came back. The laughter stopped. He became this man who was so difficult to speak to, so difficult to read. He suddenly had this burning rage inside of him and his temper….my god….you didn't want to be on the wrong side of him. It was as though he brought back all the horrible sights and sounds with him from France, he couldn't ever let them go. He no longer opened up to us, no longer told us what was going on in his head. I seen it as soon as he stepped off the train. His eyes were empty, cold and almost unresponsive." Polly explained. "Then, Grace appeared."

"Grace?" Sara's eyes came up to meet Polly's.

"Yes. Grace appeared one afternoon in the Garrison. And for the first time in months, I thought I could see the old Tommy coming to the surface. I could tell he was in love with her. But there was something about her I didn't trust, but Tommy, being the stubborn sod he is, refused to listen. He knew best of course." She paused to take a drink. "I started noticing things happening, police were finding out about our business when they really shouldn't have done. We started to believe we had a mole in our midst but the more I thought about it, the more I started to suspect Grace. I knew Tommy was not being careful around her. He wasn't keeping business to himself or within the family. Eventually Tommy came to realise that Grace was the one feeding the information back to the police. Although, I thought at first she was just an informant. You can imagine my shock when we discovered she was actually an officer."

Sara's mouth slightly opened, trying to take everything in.

"She completely used Tommy. But, despite that, I could tell, by the end, she actually did love him. It was just too late. Funnily enough, she tried to talk him into going with her to New York. But he refused. After all that, he became introverted again. He never let on, but I could tell he was incredibly hurt by what she did to him. It's my intention to never have him feel that way again." She eyed Sara up, observing her in great detail. "Now, Sara, this is where you come in…."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm seeing Tommy start to open up again. I'm seeing that life come back into his eyes and I'll be damned if I'm going to see it disappear again." There was a warning, deep rooted in her statement and Sara could hear it loud and clear. "I see how he is with you Sara, and I noticed it when he appeared in the Garrison, showing you affection in front of everyone there, which is something he would never have done before and I know you could see the reactions from people around him, particularly his family. They were in shock. It's just not his character. What concerns me about you Sara, is the fact you are married."

Nodding, Sara knew this was coming. "I understand that Polly. It isn't a situation I wish to continue with and I am trying to rectify it. My husband is not the man I thought he was. We were married for one year and never once did he ever raise his voice. Then as soon as we got to London, something changed. I met Thomas, for one thing. We had a moment together and it rattled me, and I think my husband sensed something was wrong. My marriage was more one of convenience than for love. After he raised his hand, I knew I had to get out of there. I came back here for one thing and one thing only. For Tommy."

Polly got to her feet and lifted the empty china from the table. She started cleaning up which Sara took to indicate that their conversation was now over. She stood from the chair and hesitated, almost as though she was a child waiting to be dismissed by her teacher. She gripped the bottom of Tommy's shirt which barely kissed the tops of her thighs, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed. She watched Polly intently as she cleaned the cups, leaving them by the sink to dry.

"Go back to bed Sara. Tommy will be wondering where you are." She turned to face her, smiling. Trying to read her expression, Sara felt surprisingly satisfied that Polly was silently offering her blessing. She waited a few more seconds before making her way back to the staircase and heading back up to Tommy's bedroom.

She crept towards the door, almost pressing her ear up to it. She smiled to herself as she heard the soft snores coming from the other side. Satisfied that Tommy was still asleep, she slowly pushed the door open. Her heart virtually skipped a beat as she took in the sight in front of her. Tommy had rolled over to the side of the bed she had previously occupied and he had wrapped his arm tightly around her pillow. The covers had drifted down and he had kicked one leg out from underneath. As she closed the door behind her, her eyes drifted along his naked form, running along his toned leg, across his hip bone and up over his muscular back. She finally rested on his face, buried in the pillow. His features were soft and untroubled. Sara took small steps towards the bed, carefully avoiding the creaky floorboards, and gently climbed into the bed beside him. He didn't stir as she freed his arm from the pillow and placed it beside her, trying to creep back into the spot she had occupied. But, as though sensing her presence, his arm quickly wrapped around her waist and pulled her tightly to him, nuzzling his nose into her side. She allowed herself to be brought to him and lifted her arm so it rested across his broad shoulders. Gazing down at him, she felt the heat rising in her body. She was completely infatuated with this man and only hours before, despite baring her soul to him and exposing all the skeletons in her closet, he didn't run. He didn't tell her to leave. He didn't look at her with disgust. No, instead he told her he loved her. She knew, deep inside, she felt the same way. Her heart yearned for him and as he had held her face, after he had spoken those incredible words, she had cried. The tears had tumbled freely from her eyes and she had fallen into his arms, desperately clinging to him. He had held her there for what felt like hours until she finally felt as though all her tears had run dry. It was only then that she was finally able to respond to his declaration. From there, they had found themselves abandoning the ready made bed they had made on the floor and had made their way up the staircase, deserting clothes as they went.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The thick London smog hung heavy in the air. The weather was starting to take a turn for the worse as September drew near, quickly indicating the culmination of summer. Sara stared longingly out the window, constantly denying the tears which had been threatening ever since she had left Birmingham. She could feel Karl bouncing around on the seat beside her and she recognised his restlessness after their long journey back to London. Picking up one of the books Ada had packed for him, she offered to read him a story to try and settle him before they finally arrived back home, but she struggled to concentrate, her mind whirring with what she had left behind. Her reluctance was clear for all to see as she had said her goodbyes to the Shelby family, reeling that her long awaited reunion with Tommy had ended so swiftly. Being fully aware of the limited time they had together was doing nothing to ease the pain she was feeling at driving away from him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ada's voice broke into her subconscious.

She simply smiled before turning her attention back to Karl and the Story of Doctor Dolittle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tilting his hat down over his head, he made his way down the street towards his home. His eternally empty home. James had felt incredibly frustrated. It had been two months since he had last heard from Sara and at this point, he had no idea where she was.

 _Arriving home one from work, he expected to find her in the sitting room, but the house was silent other than the familiar clattering of the maids organising their evening meal and the comforting chime of the grandfather clock situated at the end of the hallway. Assuming she was still at work, he started to hang his hat and coat up on the hat stand when a flicker of light caught his eye. He stared down at the table, trying to work out if his eyes were deceiving him. There, lying in front of him, was the three carat engagement ring he had given her alongside the wedding band he had placed on her finger only a year earlier. Feeling as though his heart had physically stopped, he frantically rushed up the staircase towards their bedroom. Pulling the cupboard doors open, he gasped at the huge gap of clothing that would normally hang there. Anger surged through him as he searched the room for more indication of what he already knew. She was gone. He cursed himself for how he had acted after she had come home but ultimately, she had deserved it. She had gone out and disrespected him. It was clear to him that she had been with another man. Over the last few weeks, she had barely been able to look him in the eye. He had called in to Alfie's factory on his way home on the day she had disappeared, thinking he could walk her home but was shocked to discover she hadn't turned up and Alfie had no idea where she was. Her reaction to him when she finally walked through the door had told him all he needed to know. She had an expression of guilt and couldn't respond to him with a straight answer. Given the disappearing act she had pulled a few weeks earlier, he started to doubt her devotion to him. This was the final straw. He certainly wouldn't stand for being made a fool of and refused to sit back and watch as his wife had relations with another man. But yet, to find her gone, seemed to rip his heart in two. This was the last thing he expected. Sara had always appeared to be so docile and willing to do his bidding. She had never argued with him or refused him, but yet, here she was, walking out on him. And he'd be damned if he let that happen._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alfie sat alone in his office. Having had yet another run in with Sabini, he was getting eternally pissed off. Making a quick call up to Birmingham had resulted in a meeting being arranged with Thomas Shelby for the following week. Clearly, Sabini was pissed at the fact Alfie had screwed him over at Epsom and wasn't about to go out without a fight. Agreeing allegiances with the gypsy had seemed to be the final nail in the coffin for any potential deals being made between him and the Italians so Alfie knew something would need to be done to cement his status in London and drive Darby Sabini out. Knowing it wouldn't be an easy task, he had no choice but to rely on Tommy. On top of all this, Alfie was getting increasingly irritated at the lack of information on his former book keeper and if that gypsy bastard knew where she was, he wasn't letting on. Given that, he was incredibly surprised to see her husband appear at his premises on the first day that Sara didn't show up to work. He was clearly as much in the dark about her whereabouts. Then, to find out from his men that she and Tommy were spotted getting close at Epsom, he could only conclude that he had something to do with her sudden disappearance. He made a mental note to quiz Mr Shelby further when he made the trip down to London.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next few days went by in a blur and for the first time since the war, Tommy felt lost. He continued to go to work as always, continued to go to the Garrison as expected and continued to intimidate and threaten wherever he went, but he felt an emptiness inside that he hadn't experienced for a long time. Sitting at his desk, he leaned back in his chair and lit another cigarette. Closing his eyes, he tried to consider his next move, unsure of what lay ahead. He took another drag of his cigarette before finally snapping up to his feet. He kicked the chair back from underneath him, letting it fall back against the wall. Using his free hand, he pinched the skin on the bridge of his nose, rubbing it irritably. Tommy absolutely detested feeling like this. He hated the lack of control and inability to dominate the situation and it had only worsened since Sara had gone back to London. He felt the desire to shelter her and he hated the sense of weakness he felt now that she was gone, especially as she was within such close proximity of her husband. After their heart to heart on their last night together, Sara had also divulged exactly what had happened when she had arrived back home after Epsom.

 _Just tell me Sara."_

 _I had hoped he would be asleep by the time I got home but I came into the sitting room and he was in the armchair. I could tell from the almost empty bottle on the table and the glass in his hand that he was drunk. He looked at me with such….disgust. He got up and came over to me and just stared at me. He didn't say a thing for a long time. Then eventually, he rested his hand on my cheek and in that moment, I thought everything was alright. But I started to see the anger build in his eyes. He demanded to know where I had been and who I had been with. I couldn't answer him. He asked me if I'd been with a man, and my eyes betrayed me. In that second, he knew."_

 _What did he do?"_

 _He still had the glass in his hand."_

 _Tommy's eyes widened as he realised what she was telling him. "You're trying to tell me…."_

 _Sara nodded. "I honestly didn't see it coming. It was like it wasn't him any more. He was like a man possessed. For a second, everything went black. As soon as it happened, he walked out the room and left me. I heard the front door slam and it was only then that I realised I was on the floor. Elsie, my maid, came rushing in. She must have heard the commotion. I'll never forget her face at that moment. She was as white as a sheet. The next thing I knew, she was pressing her apron against my cheek and I kept trying to push her away, telling her I was fine. It was only when she pulled it away that I saw the blood. I hadn't even realised at the time that it was the glass he had hit me with."_

He felt the dark mist descend over his eyes so quickly, it completely took him by surprise. He lifted the brandy glass he had been drinking from and threw it across the room, smashing it against the wall. His door was open, and he could see out the corner of his eye, Lizzie jumping to her feet. She almost made it to his door but paused when he raised his hand up, indicating for her to stop. Wisely, she turned around and went back to her desk, her heart racing, ensuring she kept one eye on her boss.

Moving back to his desk, he lifted the discarded chair back up and sat down, lifting the receiver from its holder and pressing it to his ear. Dialling the number, he waited patiently until the familiar cockney accent sounded.

"Alfie, change of plan. I need to pull this meeting up to tomorrow. Developments have been made. I know where Mrs Lockwood is. But there's something I need you to do for me before we can get her back."

 **A/N - Apologies for the slightly uneventful chapter but I had to include a filler to try and tie in some of the other parts of the storyline. I hope things are making sense so far! as always, please let me know your thoughts! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Her pulse raced as she sat at the living room window, staring out into the night. The fog had rapidly descended over the city of London as night had begun to draw in and now she could barely see more than a few feet out into the street. Her mind had been working overtime since they had arrived home from Birmingham and despite the fact it had only been a few days since she last saw Tommy, it had felt like weeks. She longed for his embrace, even just to speak to him again. Not knowing when they would next be together was killing her but she was well aware she had more pressing matters here to deal with. Eventually, she would need to face James but the thought of it was destroying her. She knew he wasn't going to make it easy for her and her inner subconscious wept at the mere idea of it. She was also well aware that she would need to face the music with her former employer. Having run out on Alfie was foolish. She couldn't deny he had been good to her, but yet she had effectively betrayed him, and know just how dangerous the Camden gangster was, she didn't mind admitting that she was more concerned facing him than she was, her husband. She pulled her legs up against her body, tightly to her chest, her nightdress rising up along her legs as she did. Feeling the chill in the air, she lifted the blanket she had brought from her room and wrapped it around her body. Letting out an almost stifled yawn, she glanced at the clock. _Almost midnight._ Admitting defeat, she took one last look out of the window before finally taking herself up to bed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sun was just starting to peek out above the horizon and the sky was quickly brightening up as Tommy strode through Camden Town. Having travelled through the night, he was starting to feel the lack of sleep creeping up on him but he pushed it away. Arthur and John followed dutifully beside him, coats flowing in the light breeze, caps pulled low over their eyes. Eventually reaching Alfie's distillery, Tommy took one last drag of his cigarette before throwing it to the ground.

"Now, listen. When we go in here, I don't want no funny business. You know how much of a loose cannon Solomons can be, but I need him onside if we're to sort out this shit." Tommy ordered, his eyes switching between his two brothers, almost unsure which one of them he trusted less to behave.

"You really think he's gonna 'elp you Tommy?" John asked, looking up at the nearby building.

His bright eyes peeked out from under his cap. "I know he is."

"And what makes you so sure?" Arthur smirked.

Tommy lit another cigarette. "Because, Arthur. Solomons is a criminal. A fuckin' lunatic. But for this, he gets to kill someone. And I know how much of a thrill the man gets from doin' that. Plus, he needs support if he's got any chance of pushing Sabini out of London. He needs us as much as we need 'im and he's only jus' realised that."

Arthur simply nodded, and both brothers followed Tommy around the corner, towards the back entry into the distillery. Unsurprisingly, Ollie was standing there, waiting patiently.

"Eh, hold on a minute. Alfie never said nowt about all of you."

Continuing to walk past him, Tommy briefly turned his head. "Well, you better have words with your boss about not keeping you informed."

Rushing up alongside them, Ollie quickly overtook and headed straight for Alfie's office. "Alfie, I tried to stop….." he panted.

Alfie looked up at the doorway, getting to his feet. "It's alright Ollie, Thomas Shelby's never had any fuckin' ability to follow instructions. Jus' go back to work. I'll look after our guests."

"Mr Solomons." Tommy started, making his way into the office, leaving Arthur and John in the doorway.

Waving his arm in front of him, Alfie made his way to the side of his desk. "Well come on in, make yourselves comfortable. I'd have gotten more seats, but I didn't realise the whole fucking gypsy clan was comin'" he uttered, sarcasm ripping from him.

Tommy shot a look at John, who he could now see was starting to burn with contempt. His face was beginning to redden, and he could see his fist rolled up into a ball. He glanced over at his brother who simply shook his head, indicating for him to calm down.

"You want business done with the Shelby's, Mr Solomons, then it is sometimes necessary for other members of the company to attend." Tommy affirmed, pulling a chair out and sitting down.

Alfie simply grunted as he made his way back around the desk. He sat down and placed his hands across his stomach, locking them in place. "Now, before we get to Sabini. We have more pressing matters to discuss. It has been two months, now tell me, where the fuck is she?"

"She's in safe hands." Tommy answered. "Is all you need to know right now, until I know I have your cooperation."

"I want her back here."

"We'll see." Tommy pulled out his matches and cigarettes, quickly lighting one before turning his attention back to Alfie. "Did you meet her husband?"

"Couple a times. Why?" Alfie's curiousity peaked.

"I happen to know the reason she left. An' before you say 'owt, it had fuck all to do with me."

"An' wha' was that?"

Glancing up at him from across the table. "The husband beat her. Took a glass across her face."

"Oh, Tommy, fuck off." Alfie got to his feet, hovering around his top drawer. "Don't make me fuckin' laugh. That man is no more capable of beatin' anythin' than you are of stepping into a church without bursting into flames."

"Well, I think we're done here gentlemen. Come on brothers." Tommy got to his feet and made his way to the door.

"Fuck sake." Alfie muttered. "Right, explain to me what you are talkin' about Tommy, cos I've almost put a fuckin' bullet in your head before. Don't make me do it again."

Tommy turned, satisfied he had made his point, and sat back down. "When she got back from Epsom, That is what he did to her. She fled. She got on the first boat back to America. I had no idea where she was until she appeared in Birmingham a few days ago." A slight white lie, he accepted.

"And you waited till now to tell me?"

"I did. I had to ensure she wasn't going to run again. Now…I want something done about this bastard. And I want you to help me."

Placing his elbows on the table and interlinking his fingers. "Tell me where she is."

"She's staying with my sister."

"Right. Tell me what you want to do."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

James sat alone in the large empty living room. He felt as though his whole life was starting to unravel at the seams. Since Sara had left, he was severely lacking in concentration which was ultimately affecting his work. He knew there was only so much longer he could get away with tiny mistakes before his superiors would start to notice. Eventually, he was going to end up make a bigger error and there would be no coming back from it. He gazed around the room, his eyelids heavy with lack of sleep. Somehow, his house seemed less of a home recently. Apart from maids, no one else walked the halls. No one else sat on the couches. No one else ate meals at the dining room table and no one else graced the luxurious bedding which sat almost untouched most nights, since he found himself falling asleep in the same armchair he was now sitting in. His life felt empty. He felt isolated and lost, emotions he was not familiar with and was certainly not relishing. He stared down at the now empty glass and wondered how things had gone so drastically downhill. Perhaps he was wrong to force Sara into moving back to his hometown. She had been so against the idea at the time, but he had chosen not to listen, pushing on with the move and insisting that it was for the best. Perhaps if they had stayed in New York, things would have been different. James had started to stand up to go and refill his glass when the sudden shrill of the telephone stopped him. It was almost like a foreign noise and it took him a few seconds to realise what it was. No one had called him in weeks and it was from that very fact that he realised how much of his life revolved around his wife, and without her, he was very much alone. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, he made his way over to the table and picked up the receiver.

"Yes?"

"Mr Lockwood?"

The familiar voice on the other end of the line brought him quickly back to the present. "Mr Solomons?"

"Yes. I have some news for you, and I don't think your gonna like it."

James pulled the phone from the table and sat down on the nearby couch. "What is it?"

"I have some news on your wife. I believe she is back in London." Alfie started.

A breath caught in James' throat. "She's here? Well that's wonderful. How could I possibly not like that?"

"I didn't say I was finished." Alfie stated, gruffly.

"I apologise. Please continue, Mr Solomons."

"She is back. But she is not alone. She has taken up relations with a Mr Thomas Shelby."

He felt his heart stop. "Who is that?" he stuttered.

"A parasite. A fuckin' gypsy parasite. Now, I'm sure you can appreciate that I want your wife back just as much as you do. My books have been in a right fuckin' state since she left. But, I need you to listen to me."

"I'm listening." He was listening, but he was struggling to take it all in. He hadn't counted on this. Anger was starting to surge through him. Despite the fact he knew he missed her, he felt undeniable rage at the fact she had flounced back to London without so much as giving him a second thought but in addition to that, she was making an utter fool out of him and cavorting with another man. And not just any man….a _traveller_. The very thought of his beautiful wife, with all the riches and wealth in the world, giving herself to someone like that made his blood turn cold.

"I believe she is living nearby so there is a good chance you may see her around. You may see her _with him_ but its important you don't fuck this up. If you see them, don't say a thing. If you do, I'll guarantee you, she'll run. Do you think you can do that?"

James nodded to himself, not saying a word.

"Lockwood?" Alfie was growing impatient now. Since Tommy and his brothers had finally left, he knew he had to make James aware of what was happening. Since he had appeared in his factory a few weeks earlier, desperately trying to find out where Sara was, he had made it his mission to bring her back, and if that meant going back on a deal, then so be it.

"I can do that."

"Good." Offering no more information, Alfie hung up the phone leaving James with nothing but the dull dialling tone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara tossed and turned in the night. The beads of sweat were slowly snaking their way down her forehead as she wrestled with the sheets, which found themselves tightly wrapped around her legs. She thrashed around in the bed, arms flailed around as she tried desperately to awaken herself from the nightmare which plagued her. Eventually she broke through, her eyes flew open and darted wildly around the room, desperately trying to get her bearings. Her racing heart started to subside as she finally recognised where she was. She sat up in bed and pushed the now damp hair off her face, rubbing her eyes in the process.

 _Tommy._

They had come for him, took him away from her, and she could do nothing but watch helplessly as he had disappeared from sight. It was only seconds letter when she had heard blood curdling screams coming from the direction they had taken him, did she try to run after him. Only, unknown arms appeared from behind her, and locked her in place, making escape impossible. She could only listen as the screams continued to invade her senses. She tried insistently to break free, legs kicking wildly until her foot finally connected with her assailants kneecap, forcing him to loosen his grip on her. She'd taken that brief window of opportunity and fled, heading in the direction the groans were coming from. Only, as she had rounded the corner and her eyes had fallen on Tommy lying motionless on the floor, had she woken from her nightmare.

She gripped tightly onto the pillow, pulling it tight to her body, trying to find any possible comfort she could, but it was futile.

 _It was only a dream._

She repeated this mantra over and over in her head but despite this, she couldn't push the thought that something was very wrong. She hadn't seen Tommy in almost three weeks since she had last visited Birmingham with Ada. She knew though, that he had made the journey to London at least twice since then, but never had he stopped by. She questioned this constantly, although never revealing her feelings directly to his sister, she could tell that she was just as irritated by Tommys lack of visitation.

Between the worry she felt for him and the ongoing threat of bumping into James, she felt as though her head was going to burst but yet, on top of all of this, today was the day. It was the day she would finally face the music and visit her former employer. Part of her felt terrified. Alfie Solomons was not a man who took kindly to being done over and she didn't doubt that he would be monumentally pissed at the fact she had run off without so much as working her notice, but at the same time, she hoped that their strong relationship would see them through. In the weeks she worked for Alfie, she couldn't deny that they had built up somewhat of a friendship and she prayed that this would see her through.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

"Alfie?"

"What the fuck is it Ollie? I ain't got no time for interruptions."

"Its Mrs Lockwood."

Alfie's head reared up quickly, almost knocking the hat from its trusty position. "Where?"

"She's outside."

Alfie stood from his desk, his hand absentmindedly raised to his chin and began to stroke the wiry hairs. For three months, he had been waiting on this day. Waiting for the day that Sara Lockwood would reappear at his door. Now that she was here, he felt puzzled. Normally, he wouldn't even question what his next move would be. Although in most cases, anyone who had abandoned him in the way she had, wouldn't dare set foot back in his distillery. Generally, he would be the one who would eventually find them, and he would make them pay in the only way he knew how. But, on this occasion, he felt oddly ill at ease. Deep down, he didn't want to make her pay, didn't want to get his revenge on her. He simply wanted to make sure she was alright. He didn't understand the emotion he was feeling right now.

"Send her in Ollie."

He sat back down, opening the drawer of his desk and pulled out some white bread and a couple of glasses. He poured them a drink and placed one in front of the unoccupied chair in front of him, patiently waiting on her to appear. He kept his head down as he heard the unmistakable creak of the door opening. Glancing up from underneath the tip of his hat, his eyes ran up the solitary figure which was now standing in front of him. They made their way up the familiar curves of her body until they finally rested on her face. Surprisingly, they were staring right at him. He had expected her to appear timid, scared to look in his direction but yet, she was watching him intently, refusing to back down.

"Mr Solomons." She finally spoke.

"Sara." He stood and walked around the desk until he was standing in front of her. His penetrating stare made its way across her face and he could instantly sense the change in her body language as he approached her. Her shoulders were almost around her ears as her body tensed.

 _Not so convincing now._

"What brings you here?" he quizzed, almost trying to intimidate her further.

"Can we talk?" She asked, her eyes fleeting to the empty chair.

"If I ain't mistaken luv, we're already talkin'"

Sara looked back up at him. "Yes, we are."

He sighed and moved a step to the side, allowing her to pass by him. He made his way back to his own chair and sat down, nodding to the glasses in front of them. She gratefully lifted it and knocked it back down her throat, feeling almost instantly relaxed as the liquid burned the back of her throat.

"Not much has changed wi' you." He smirked.

"Actually, quite the opposite." She sighed, placing the glass back down in front of her, which he quickly refilled. "Alfie, I came here to apologise."

He watched her intently as she leaned over his desk and placed her forehead into her hands, running her fingers through her loosely curled hair. She looked as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"For wha'?" he asked.

"I shouldn't have left you the way I did. I've come here to ask if you would have me back?" She peeked up at him, unsure of his reaction. Her body tensed again as she waited on his response. "I know I don't have any right to ask this of you, but I enjoyed working here."

"Why'd you leave then?"

"It's…complicated."

Alfie lifted his feet over the edge of the desk, leaning back in his chair. "Ain't that jus' life luv."

"I guess. The truth is, I went back home. My husband…is having some problems. He's become angry and unpredictable. I spent the weeks before I left feeling utterly terrified of him. I've never felt that way about him before. I just had to get away and get home to the safety of my family. I know that doesn't excuse the way I behaved but I worried that if I came here and told you where I was going, he would find me. I didn't want to put you in that position. I didn't tell anyone where I was going." She admitted.

"Not even Thomas Shelby?"

Her head raised slightly at the mere mention of his name. "Why would I tell Thomas Shelby?"

"Please." He lifted his hand. "Don't make matters worse by insultin' me intelligence."

Her lips tightened as she watched him.

"Mrs Lockwood, I am well aware of your dalliances with our favourite Birmingham crime lord so lets not make things worse by lying to each other eh?"

She cringed at the mere mention of her full name. "Please, forgive me." She looked down at her hands, unable to meet his stare.

He stood up and made his way across to her, perching himself on the edge of the desk in front of her. "Sara, look, I'll be honest wit' ya. I was fuckin' pissed when you disappeared. Anyone else, I'd have fuckin' hunted down. You know the deal wit' this place, what goes on. I can't have that kind of information flying around London. And to have someone leave like that, fuckin' worries me."

She allowed herself to look up at him and for the first time, he wasn't looking at her as if he wanted to put a bullet in her head. She felt herself relax again.

"I know." She spoke, standing up so they were eye level. Despite her feelings, she refused to feel as though he was talking down to her as though she was an insolent child. "Alfie, I can't apologise enough. So you've spoken to Tommy?"

"Oh its Tommy is it?" he toyed with her.

She felt her cheeks flush at his insinuation. Ignoring it, she continued. "Did he tell you the truth? Tell you why I left? The truth?"

"About your 'usband?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, he told me."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Polly sat in the kitchen, smoke curled around her face as she took another drag of the cigarette she had been nursing for the last five minutes. She was feeling irritated. Michael had become more involved in the family business but despite Thomas' assurances that he would only be involved in the legal side of things, he was becoming more and more engrossed with Tommys extra-curricular activities. And then there was Tommy himself. She thought that the appearance of the young American woman who had clearly stolen his heart would be the one to put him on the straight and narrow but since she had gone back to London, Tommy hadn't so much as mentioned her.

"Evenin' Pol." His voice broke into her thoughts and she stared up at him as he made his way to the table she was sitting at.

Ignoring him, she took another drag of her cigarette, her eyes dropping back down to the table as she heard him pull out the opposite chair.

"No talkin' today?" he leaned back in his chair and lit himself a cigarette.

"What the fuck are you playing at Tommy?" She leaned forward, her arms reaching across the table but making no moves toward him.

"No idea what you mean."

"Oh I think you do." Polly's eyes narrowed toward him. "I told you to keep Michael out of it. Out of all the illegal shit. You promised me he wouldn't get involved."

"Michael is eighteen, Pol. Old enough to make his own decisions. He was old enough to come looking for you. He's old enough to decide what type of career he wants. He came to me when I got back from Epsom, and told me he wanted in. What was I supposed to say?"

"You were supposed to fuckin' protect him!" Polly flew to her feet, knocking the chair to the ground. "You think you can walk about here in your fuckin' fancy suits and do whatever you want, well not with my boy. Not Michael."

"I can't stop him doing what he wants to do, but I never said I wouldn't protect him. He's under just as much protection from the blinders as you are." Tommy tapped his fingers on the edge of the table. The room was growing darker by the minute as the day started to morph into night.

She moved towards the sitting room, lifting a bottle of whisky as she went. Acquiring two glasses, she sat down on the sofa and poured them both out. Sensing a slight shift in her demeanor, Tommy got to his feet and followed her, sitting in the opposite chair, taking the glass she offered him.

"And of Sara?" she asked.

"What about Sara?"

Polly rolled her eyes at his impassiveness. "Thomas, you know as well as I do that you've turned a corner since meeting her. I can see it, as well as everyone else around you. But now she's gone back to London, it's as though you've wiped her from your memory. You don't mention her anymore. Ada told me you haven't been near her house whenever you've been down there. Why is that? I thought you liked her?"

"I don't like her Pol."

Polly looked up at him, slightly taken aback.

"I love her."

Her head tilted to her side and eyed him curiously. "Since when?"

"Probably always. Although I didn't realise it at first. Not until she came here with Ada." He got to his feet. "Fuckin' hell, listen to me. This ain't me Pol."

She watched him as he paced the room nervously. She had been convinced he had loved Grace but never had she seen him appear so bewildered. As though he couldn't understand the feelings he had. His eyes were wide with alarm as he stood in front of the fire. Staring at a vase which sat precariously on the edge of the mantle, he lifted his hand and pushed it furiously to the ground, sending it shattering into ragged pieces. Polly rushed to him and attempted to pull him back towards the couch but his body was rigid. His feet were almost glued to the floor.

"Tommy, come and sit down." She hadn't seen this side of him for years. He was normally so emotionless and aloof. The war had seen to that. This side of him made her nervous. "Here, sit. Have a drink."

Allowing her to pull him to the couch, he accepted the glass, throwing the liquid down the back of his throat. As he finished the drink, he laughed. A warm throaty laugh. Polly blinked her eyes in surprise. She hadn't heard him laugh in so long, it was almost unnatural. "What is so funny?"

Almost immediately, his smile disappeared and the standard coldness appeared back on his face.

"Hey, you don't have to be ashamed of laughing." She lifted her hand to his cheek, gently stroking the stubble on his chin. "Why are you scared of it?"

"I ain't scared of fuck all, Pol."

"Oh I know you ain't Thomas. Not of Solomons, not of Sabini, you weren't scared of Billy Kimber or fighting in that fuckin' war. But if you are honest wit' yourself, you'll admit you're scared of at least one thing."

"An' what's that?" He inquired.

Of being happy."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She paced the wet pavement as she made her way back towards Ada's home. Her home. Since arriving back in London two weeks earlier, she had felt incredibly at home living with Ada. She'd never lived with another woman before. The last time she had lived with another girl was when she had been in the asylum. That had not been a joyous experience. Although she had been ecstatic to be out of the hellhole of her mothers house, she hadn't fared much better there. Going through the pain she encountered whilst trying to wean herself from the drugs which had built up in her system was one of the most excruciating experiences of her life. She shuddered as she thought back to it. The girls she shared a dormitory with were hardly empathetic towards her and despite them coming from difficult backgrounds and childhoods themselves, felt as though her agonising screams at night were nothing short of a cry for attention. They bullied and ridiculed her. Rumours of her upbringing quickly circulated, and they had taken to calling her a whore, implying that she brought it all on herself. She had asked for it, enjoyed it even. They didn't understand the torture and the anguish she suffered. But now, she felt safe. Ada had become almost like a sister to her. _Perhaps one day._ She still couldn't fathom why she still hadn't heard from Tommy. _Had she scared him off?_ She thought back to their last night together, and despite his assurances of his affections, she couldn't help but think that her confession had turned him off. Perhaps, now he had time to think about it, he didn't have the time, nor the patience to deal with someone who was so damaged. Sara sighed as she finally reached the front door. Her hair was drenched and her coat almost stuck to her body. It was almost October and winter was quickly approaching. She almost forgot what the heat from the sunshine felt like.

"You're home!" Ada called as Sara stepped through the door. "Oh my god, you're soaked through!"

"I'm fine. Just need a towel." Sara smiled, pulling the coat from her shoulders and hanging it up to dry.

"How was work?"

"It was really good. I wasn't sure how things would go, but everything has just gone back to normal. My goodness though, he has let those books slide." Sara laughed. Having been back at Alfie's distillery for the last few days, she started to feel as though her life had purpose again. She had reason to get up in the morning.

Ada smiled at her response. "Go and sit down. I'll make some tea."

"I'd kill for something stronger." Sara laughed as she pushed open the living room door as Ada disappeared from sight.

"So would I." the voice came from the corner of the room.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

She recognised his distinctive Brummie accent before she even laid eyes on him. Part of her didn't want to believe it, just in case she'd got it very wrong. She hadn't yet entered the room, choosing to pause just on the threshold.

"Is it you?" she asked, still not daring to come into the room.

"Do you want it to be?" The voice spoke again.

"Yes." She whispered.

He walked the length of the room until he finally got to the door. He didn't yet step in front of her but she could sense he was there. She could almost smell him. That characteristic mix of cigarette smoke and whisky lingered in the air and Sara felt her knees weaken. His body had its own sweet aroma and she felt powerless against it. Quickly, she was transported back to the first night they had spent together when she had arrived in Birmingham. He had held her tightly in his arms, allowing her to nuzzle into the crook of his arm and she had inhaled the very scent that she was smelling again now.

Building up the courage inside her, she forced herself to step into the room. Her eyes finally fell on the sight of him that she had been missing desperately. Her heart ached as she took him in. He looked gaunt. Black circles had appeared under his eyes again and she could tell he hadn't been sleeping well. She remembered the night he had brought her back to Ada's. Awakening him from his slumber, it was clear he regularly had trouble sleeping but during the few nights they had spent together, he had slept soundly, never waking in a panic. But now, it was evident this was no longer the case.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" He asked, quizzically.

"What do you want me to say?" Whilst she was happy to see him, she couldn't help but feel pent up anger at the fact he had effectively abandoned her since she had left Birmingham. He had promised her they would be together, but she hadn't seen head nor tail of him since.

He narrowed his eyes. Truthfully, he had been expecting this. Following his discussion with Polly, she had made him understand what he was truly feeling. And he had to admit, it had scared him. He genuinely thought what he felt for Grace was love but in truth, didn't even come close to what he felt now, and it confused him. It wasn't an emotion he cared for, but he knew if he didn't face it, he would stand to lose Sara forever. He was a gambling man. He gambled every day. With his work, with his family, with his life. But still, this wasn't something he wanted to risk.

"Please, come here." He held out his hand to her, watching her as she eyed it cautiously, unsure of what to do. He smiled to himself as he heard the sound of the front door closing. After he had arrived an hour earlier, Ada had promised to make herself scarce to give them some privacy. Something he was now eternally grateful for.

After arguing with herself, she finally accepted his outstretched hand. He pulled her gently to him, causing her to gasp as his other arm wrapped feverishly around her back. Her arms automatically rested upon his chest, slipping slightly under his thick black coat. Her eyes fell on his which nestled under his trademark black cap. She reached up and pressed her fingers to the tip, taking care not to catch them on the sharp blades she was now aware were nestled inside the fabric. She gently pulled it from his head, allowing his slightly overgrown hair to fall over his forehead.

"You need a haircut." She smiled.

With that show of playfulness, he brought his lips to hers, unable to stand the anticipation any longer. She responded immediately, somewhat thankful for the distraction.

"What took you so long?" Sara asked, pulling away from him.

"Call it delayed gratification."

"Tommy, I need to know."

He nodded and pulled her towards the couch, indicating her to sit down. He moved to the corner of the room and lifted the decanter to pour them a drink. Taking it back to her, he sat down and took a gulp. "I couldn't understand what I felt for you."

"Felt? Past tense?" confusion crept on her face. _Was he here to end things between them?_

His eyes widened as he realised his Freudian mistake. "No, not past tense. When you left, I thought it would be easy just to let you go. I wasn't sure what would happen when you got back to London. Whether you would even stay, or if you would go back to New York. Or if, for some insane reason, you would go back to him. If you haven't already realised, I don't wait around to be let down. I like control. I like keeping control and I don't relinquish control to others. I don't normally do relationships, not in the way that you know them."

"What do you mean?" Sara took another drink from her glass, not entirely comfortable with the direction the conversation was going.

"If this is going to work, there's some things I need to do first. Now, please realise Sara, that this is uncharted territory for me." Tommy took a breath. He had discussed his intentions fully with his aunt. Her advice had proven invaluable to him, but now he was here, he was starting to doubt whether this was the right thing to do. He refused to be vulnerable but now, he was almost purposely putting himself in that position. "You told me a lot of things about you that I don't doubt, was incredibly difficult for you to do. Now its my turn."

Sara swallowed hard. It was as though he was rewriting his rules for her. But she said nothing, allowing him to continue.

"I'm going to be an open book for you. Ask me anything and I'll answer you truthfully. But, I warn you, you won't always like what you hear." He stated, honestly.

She nodded slowly. "I think we'll need another drink first."

Standing up, she walked back to the table and lifted the decanter, bringing it back to them.

"You think we'll need the bottle?" he grinned, pulling his coat off and resting it over the arm of the couch. He popped open the top two buttons of his shirt and loosened it from his neck.

Sara shrugged, pouring more liquor into the two glasses before placing it down on the floor.

"Take it away then." He encouraged.

Dropping her head, she looked down to the ground. She closed her eyes tightly before turning back to him. "Tell me about the nightmares."

 _Wow, pulling out the big guns._ Tommy took a drink. "You know I was drafted right?"

Sara nodded.

"I was only twenty four at the time. There was a certain romantic feeling of the war. The certainty was, that it would be over by Christmas. 6 months of war would be enough for the Allies to succeed but, evidently that was not going to be the case. When I was stationed in France, I was a tunneller. We fought at Verdun for the first few months of 1916, then moved to the Somme. I honestly don't think the world will ever again see a bloodier conflict than what I witnessed at the Somme. Worryingly, you quickly adapt. You get used to seeing men die. Used to the smell and to moving through trenches and avoiding body parts. When I was moved into the tunnels, there were times I thought id never see daylight again. We used the tunnels to surprise our enemies. We would crawl under no mans land and plant explosives under enemy trenches. We had to stay as quiet as possible. Sometimes it could take months to create those tunnels. But whilst we dug our tunnels, the enemy dug theirs. It was a constant power struggle. A brutal game of cat and mouse. Silence was crucial, we had to ensure no one heard us. We would listen out for any sounds that they were getting close. Sounds of shovels and pick axes starting to come through the other side. The reason I have nightmares is because some nights, I still hear them. I hear them scraping against the wall of my bedroom. Some nights, I wake up before they can break through. Other times, I don't. The night we were upstairs and I was asleep in the armchair was one of those nights. When I felt your hand, I thought they had managed it. I thought they had broken through and that was it, I was finally dead. Four years later and I still can't get that sound out my subconscious."

Sara took a deep breath, amazed at his sheer honesty. She had to admit, this explained a lot. Explained the look of terror in his eyes that night. She reached her hand out to him and lifted his from his lap. She intertwined her fingers through his and squeezed tightly. "You're the bravest man I've ever met."

"I'm not brave Sara. I kill people. People are scared of me. They run from me in the street, refuse to make eye contact with me. Ten years ago, I wouldn't recognise me now. I'm anything but brave." He let go of her hand and lifted the decanter, taking a swig directly from the bottle.

Taking in his admission, she took his hand again once he placed the bottle back down. "Tell me, do you hear them every night?"

Tommy shook his head. "Not every night."

"When do you not hear them?"

"The nights you were with me." He confessed.

Sara smiled and leaned over to him. She gently pressed her lips to his cheek, lifting her hand to the back of his neck and stroked his skin softly.

"Do you have anything else for me?" Tommy asked, desperately trying to change the subject. He hadn't expected just how difficult it would be to recount his time in the war. His promotion and his medals meant nothing to him. Not when so many millions of others died. His brothers regularly laughed at the notion that Tommy had more lives than a cat but he honestly felt as though he used so many of those up during those four years.

"Who was Grace?"

Tommy's head snapped up towards her. "How do you know about Grace?"

"Does it matter?"

He nodded. "Grace was a mistake. That's all you need to know about her."

"Tommy, you promised me you'd answer anything."

"Good point well made." He admitted. "Grace was a woman who came to work at the Garrison. I'll admit, I was surprisingly taken by her. She was attractive. Irish. She brought singing back into the pub. There hadn't been any since the war ended. She saved my life one night. I started to see her in a different light rather than just the barmaid. I fell in love with her. But, she betrayed me. She was an officer of the crown. Reporting back to an opportunistic bastard of a police inspector who was determined to bring down my entire organisation. She ended up on a boat to New York two years ago. Last I heard, she's married some rich bloke and was living in Poughkeepsie."

Sara nodded, having heard enough. "Are there any other women I should be aware of?"

"No…"

She tilted her head, clearly not believing him. "Truth?"

"Do you remember the woman in the Garrison? The one at the end of the bar who you said kept staring at us?" he asked.

"Vividly."

"After the war, I was completely broken. Damaged, some would say. The thought of having any type of relationship with a woman just didn't appeal to me. So I did what any man would do."

"You paid for it?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Her heart was in her throat at the very thought of Tommy paying for sex. "With her?"

Tommy nodded.

"Well that explains why she was staring at me as though she wanted my head on a stick." Sara tried to inject some humour into the situation. Her head hurt with all the information Tommy was giving her. She quickly finished her drink and got to her feet, turning back to face him, holding out her hand. "Come on."

He looked at her oddly. "Where?"

"Its going to be dark soon. Lets go for a walk."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

James made his way out of the hospitals main door. He had taken to walking to work recently, trying anything to clear his head. It had been a couple of weeks since he had last heard from Alfie Solomons and he was growing impatient. He had promised him he would be able to bring Sara back to him and yet, up until now, he still hadn't seen her, despite Solomons assurances she was definitely back in London. He walked slowly, only the noise of his cane tapping off the pavement making a sound. As he turned onto his street, he noticed a couple emerging from one of the houses a few doors up from him. He was aware of a young woman who lived there with her son but he hadn't yet met her. His eyes cast over the man who was angling his elbow towards his young female companion. He watched as she slotted her hand effortlessly through and allowed herself to be pulled to him, laughing in the process.

 _That laugh_

He knew he recognised it. Quickening his pace, he walked closer to the couple, his eyes finally adjusting to them as they walked towards him. They hadn't even noticed him until he was only a few feet away from them.

"Sara?"

She froze at the very sound of his voice. Dragging her eyes from Tommy, she forced herself to look at him. She could tell Tommy was also staring intently at the man in front of them.

"James." She stated, matter of factly.

Tommys body automatically tensed at the sound of her husbands name. He cursed himself. They had been so caught up in the evening, they hadn't even considered the possibility that they would run into him. They had been careless and for this, he could kick himself.

"Well, well…" James spoke, breaking through the atmosphere that quickly surrounded them. "Is this what its come to? Parading around with the likes of this?"

Tommy made moves towards him, but he was quickly held back by Sara's tightening grip on his arm. He turned to look at her and she responded by briefly shaking her head.

"Haven't you had a fall from grace." He stated spitefully. James was struggling to hold his emotions in but he quickly remembered Alfie's words of warning. Gathering himself, he rubbed his forehead. "I apologise. That was unnecessary. Please, excuse me."

Sara watched, perplexed as he hurried past them and made his way into her former home.

"Are you alright?" Tommy quickly turned to her, grasping onto her arms.

She nodded, the look of confusion still plain to see on her face. "I have to admit, I was expecting more from him. I'm actually quite disappointed at his lack of fury. Its unlike him."

"Do you want to go back to the house?"

"No." Sara answered honestly. "We were going for a walk. I still want to do that."

He smiled down at her, offering his arm again.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Several days passed and Sara finally felt as though her life was starting to fall back into place. Her time back at Alfie Solomon's distillery was proving to be just as eventful as it had been before she had left, and she had to admit, she relished being back in the mix of it all. She felt grateful that Alfie seemed to be pleased to have her back. He hadn't made life difficult for her and despite the first awkward encounter they'd had, he hadn't rehashed the fact that she had disappeared without notice.

It was late evening and the sun had just started to disappear behind the houses. She pulled her coat tight to her body and tugged her gloves further past her wrists, trying to retain what little heat she felt. Rounding a corner, she found herself wandering through one of the several parks between her home and her workplace. Suddenly very aware of how dark it had gotten, she quickened her pace, not willing to stay out any longer than she needed to. Her ears pricked up at the sound of branches snapping behind her. She suddenly felt herself longing for Tommy. He had taken to meeting her at the factory when she finished work and walked her home but that morning, he had gone back to Birmingham, concerned of how much of the business he was missing. Promising he would return in the next few days, she had watched him silently as he had left her bed and dressed quickly, giving her a lingering kiss before he reluctantly walked out, closing the door behind him. Now, she was desperately needing him. Needing his protection. _Don't be stupid, girl._ Shaking her head, she made her way out of the park and began walking along one of the long streets towards her home. It was a street she didn't normally walk down but she was desperate to get out of the dark and quiet park. Passing by a shadowy alleyway, she started to reach into her pocket to find her keys but before she could lift them out, rough hands grabbed both of her arms from behind and hauled her deep into the dark alley. She groaned as her head hit hard off the brick wall. Her vision started to blur, and small sparks of flashing light covered her eyes. She tried to reach up to the impact area on the back of her head, but her arms were held tightly in place.

"You think you could make a fool out of me?"

James' voice was recognisable instantly but given the strength of the man holding her in place, she knew he wasn't the one pinning her to the wall. She tried to force her eyes open, but in the darkness, she could only just make out his silhouette a few feet in front of her.

"Answer me." His voice was growing impatient.

"I don't know what you're…" she started.

"Don't fuckin' lie to me." James' voice was closer to her now and she could feel his breath on her face. "What do you think you're playing at Sara? Leaving me? Being seen out with that…gypsy…scum."

"He's more man than you'll ever be." She spat.

The fist collided with her cheek before she knew anything about it. She cried out in pain and winced as she felt the tell tale warmth of the blood dripping down her cheek. Landing on her lip, the strong metallic taste almost made her gag.

"You will end this Sara." He warned. "You will go to him and tell him you made a mistake. I expect to see you back at our home within twenty four hours. Do not make me come looking for you again."

The hands which held her wrists in place suddenly loosened and her body automatically went limp. Unable to keep her balance, she fell back against the wall. Her knees buckled as she slipped down to the ground. Her eyes stayed firmly shut as she listened to the noise of footsteps walking away from her. Once she was unable to hear them any longer, she finally felt able to let the tears fall freely down her cheeks. She had been completely taken by surprise and unable to stop them, unable to defend herself. Her head ached. The blurry vision quickly returned and she felt as though she was unable to stop her eyelids from closing. She felt tired and incapable of making her limbs move. With not an ounce of energy left, she felt herself succumb to the darkness.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ada, where the fuck is she?"

"I don't know Tommy." Ada cried. She had been up all night. Her eyes were red and irritated with the tears she had cried for the last few hours. "She didn't come home from work. I was expecting her home around 6pm."

Tommy glanced up at the clock. It was now 3am. Ada had called him when Sara still hadn't arrived home an hour later than she was expected. She had tried to account for the fact she had possibly stopped off somewhere, but it was unlike her to be out much later without leaving word with Ada to prevent her worrying. As soon as he had received the call, he had jumped straight in his car and made the long journey down to London. How he had got there in one piece, he had no idea. His mind was all over the place. The guilt was eating him up. The first day he wasn't there to walk her home and now he felt sick that something had happened to her. It wasn't like her to stay out and not tell anyone.

"Have you been out looking for her?" he demanded.

"I couldn't. Its too cold to drag Karl out roaming the streets Tommy. What could I have done?" Ada paced the living room furiously, continuously stopping by the window and looking out, praying that her friend would appear at any moment.

The noise of the front door opening a few minutes later caused the siblings to turn on their heel, staring at the internal sitting room doorway. They sighed as the sight of John and Arthur appeared instead.

"Searched the full park Tom. No sight of her." Arthur admitted, pulling his hat from his head.

"Right, I'm going out to look again. There must be somewhere we haven't checked yet." Tommy pulled his coat back on. "John you stay here with Ada in case she comes back. Arthur, with me."

"Right brother."

They made their way back out into the night. Tommy looked desperately both ways along the long street that Ada's home sat. He turned to the left and started to head back towards the park.

"Arthur, which way did you go?"

Arthur pointed up towards one of the entrances to the park to indicate where he and John had searched before. Tommy nodded, looking around. "Let's go further up the street."

Following the path which led around the outside of the park, their eyes were on stalks as they scrutinised every road, every path and around every corner. As Tommy's eyes continued to adjust to the darkness, he noticed a small entrance on his left further up the street. As they got closer, he slowed his pace. Arthur followed closely behind him.

"Did you look up here?"

Arthur shook his head when Tommy turned to him. Nodding, they slowly made their way into the darkness, their footsteps echoing against the walls. As they walked further into the alley, Tommy's eyes finally set on a heap on the ground. Confusion crept over him as he tried to work out what he was seeing. It wasn't unusual for the unfortunates of major cities to try and seek shelter at night in one of the many crooks and crannies of the town so seeing a mass of clothing on the ground wasn't that out of the ordinary. He almost dismissed it until a notable whimper was audible from beneath the covers. Lunging forward, he fell to his knees and hauled the material down and away from the wall, his breath catching in his throat as the familiar blonde hair came into his view.

"Sara! Arthur, get over here!"

She was face down towards the ground, wet and cold. Tommy tried to pull the strands of hair from her face, but he struggled to detach them. It was only then that he felt the recognisable feeling of dried blood. He gently turned her body towards him, wrapping his left arm underneath her. Bile started to rise in his throat as his eyes glanced over the harsh cut on her cheek which was now surrounded by dark bruising. Arthur bent down beside him and tried to help get her to her feet.

"Sara? Darlin' can you hear me?" Tommy begged her. "If you can hear me, I need you to try and stand up, can you do that?"

Arthur glanced over at his brother, slightly taken aback by his softer tone. He watched intently as the worry was evident on Tommy's face. It had been a long time since he had seen him looking genuinely scared. His eyes fell back down on the young woman on the ground as she murmured in response. Not willing to put her through any more pain, Tommy slipped his right arm under the bend of her knees and wrapped his other one around her shoulder. Using all his strength, he got to his feet, holding her close to his body, refusing to let her go until he finally made it back to Ada's home and got her up to bed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Who do you think it was Tommy?"

"I don't know John. Don't know. Until she wakes up, there's not much else I can do to find out." Tommy sat in the armchair in the corner of the room, nursing the glass of whisky in his hand. Daylight had started to stream through the window as sunrise finally broke through.

"You should get some sleep Tommy." Ada walked over to him, squeezing his shoulder. "You're no good to Sara like this."

"I can't go to sleep until she wakes up." Tommy took another drink.

"I can wake you when she does. Why don't you go up and lie with her?" she offered.

Tommy nodded, throwing the rest of his drink down his throat. He placed the glass down on the table, nodding to his siblings as he walked out the door and started to make his way up the stairs.

 _"_ _I'm worried about him Arthur."_

 _"_ _He'll be fine Ada. The doctor says he won't know any more until she wakes up. He should have let them take her to the hospital."_

 _"_ _He won't do that when he knows her husband works at the hospital. One look at her name and word will get back to him that she's there."_

Tommy listened to their conversation for a few more seconds before making the rest of the journey up the staircase. He stopped outside Sara's bedroom, taking a deep breath before finally pushing the door open. He struggled with his conscious every time he had looked at her since bringing her home. Under the morning light, her injuries were clearer to see. He fought against the anger he felt at how weak and helpless she looked. His strong, beautiful Sara seemed so vulnerable and defenceless lying there. It was a look on her that he didn't care to see again. Walking towards her, he sat down on the side of the bed and lifted her hand, wrapping it up in his. He was happy to feel the warmth finally radiating through her. It was a damn sight different from how cold she was when he had found her. His eyes ran over her fragile looking face. Her sallow skin was harshly stained with red and blue undertones under her right eye and the socket had clearly started to swell. He leaned over her, planting his lips on her soft skin, almost trying to kiss the pain away from her, anything to take it all away. Standing up, he removed his coat and draped it over the nearby chair. He pulled his suspenders off and removed his trousers before finally unbuttoning his shirt and placing them on top of the coat. Pulling the drapes closed to allow darkness to settle in the room once more, he lifted the covers and climbed in beside her, careful not to hurt her any further as he did. He found himself resting his head on her shoulder and draping his arm gently over her stomach. Satisfied that she was safe with him, he eventually allowed himself to succumb to sleep, finally feeling peace.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tommy?"

The faint whisper was almost inaudible and if it had been anyone else lying there, they probably wouldn't have heard it but no sound, no matter how quiet, was missed by Thomas Shelby. He stirred from his slumber and lifted his head, his eyes desperately searching her face for sign of life but her eyes were still tightly closed.

"Sara? Can you hear me?" he lifted his hand and placed it softly on her cheek.

He felt elation build up inside him as he watched her eyelids slowly flutter open.

"Where am I?" her voice was raspy.

"You're home luv. You're here with me." He toyed with her hair as she finally set her eyes on him. "You're safe."

Her hand automatically went to her cheek as she finally felt the stabbing pain around her eye socket. She winced at the pain as her fingertips pressed the offending bruise.

"Hey." He grasped her hand, slowly pulling it away. "Don't worry about that."

Her eyes started to well up as she attempted to recount the last memory she had.

"Sara, just take it easy. I'm here, I'm not going to let anything else happen to you." Tommy promised. He moved his body up the bed and wrapped his arm around her. She happily went to him, gripping onto his naked hip.

"Sara, do you remember anything that happened? Do you know who did this to you?"

She looked up at him and nodded. "James."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

"He's a fucking dead man!"

Ada jumped as Tommy stormed into the living room, taking them all by surprise.

"Who's a dead man?" John asked, lighting a cigar.

"That fucking husband of hers." Tommy raged. He moved to the window, resting his palms out flat on the windowsill. His head down. "It was him. He did this to her."

"Are you sure?" Ada got to her feet to lift Karl, who was now sobbing following his uncles outburst. "How do you know?"

"She remembers. Remembers everything. As soon as she's better, I'm taking her away from here. I don't give a fuck about Alfie Solomons. She'll get a job with me if she really wants to work but I am not leaving her here again. I'm taking her back to Birmingham with me where I know she'll be safe." Tommy fumed, lighting a cigarette. "John, she told me he warned her he wanted her back within twenty four hours or he'd come for her. I need men stationed outside this house at all times. Ada, neither you nor Sara, when shes up and about, are to go anywhere alone until I deal with this."

"I am perfectly fine and don't you think you should find out what she wants before you go making all her decisions for her Tommy?"

"Just do it. If he can't get to her, he may come for you. You're ever the diplomat Ada, but I am not in the mood. I won't rest whilst she's here and I'm there."

"Tommy, what do you see happening here? I know you're fond of her but you have no right to control her." Ada argued.

"I love her Ada and as soon as Lockwood is dealt with, things will be different." He declared.

Ada narrowed her eyes. "How so?"

"I'm going to marry her."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara stirred as the sunlight hit her face. She lifted her arms and stretched as much as she could. Pulling the covers from her, she hauled her legs out of bed and rested them on the soft carpet. They felt numb and she almost felt for a second that she had forgotten how to walk. For the last two weeks she had been laying in bed, desperate to get up and about. Her body had recovered from the attack but her mental state left a lot to be desired. Every time she closed her eyes, she could hear his voice in her head. Pushing it from her mind, she pulling herself to her feet and took small steps across the room, lifting her dressing gown from the back of her door. She pulled it on and pushed her feet into her slippers. Opening the door, she started to make her way down the staircase, gripping tightly onto the hand rail as she descended. Stepping into the living room, she smiled at the sight of Ada playing with Karl on the floor.

"You're up!" Ada exclaimed, catching sight of her friend in the doorway. "Should you be up?"

Sara smiled, moving towards the couch and sitting down. "I'm fine Ada, honestly. I need to start getting up and about. I can't stay up there another minute longer."

"Do you want something to eat?"

Sara shook her head. She got to her feet again and took steps across to the fireplace, eyeing up the mirror hanging above it. She studied her reflection, satisfied the bruising and swelling had gone down. She started to feel more like herself again. Apart from the stiffness in her body from lying down for so long, she was feeling relatively normal. She examined the cut on her cheek which had eased considerably. "I seem to be collecting these scars on my face." She sighed, eyeing up the previous one James had left on her.

"Sign of living my brothers would say. Can't go through life without a few war wounds." Ada joked.

Sara's eye cocked to the side as she noticed the living room door open through the reflection of the mirror. A warmth of happiness spread through her as Tommy appeared. He hadn't gone back to Birmingham, choosing to stay with her until she was back on her feet.

"Sara! What are you doing out of bed?" he rushed towards her, wrapping his arm around her.

"Tommy." She laughed. "I'm fine, honestly, you need to stop worrying about me."

"I'll leave you two alone." Ada lifted Karl up into her arms and disappeared into the hall, closing the door behind her.

"Sara, come and sit down, please." He motioned for her to follow him to the couch which she did so dutifully. "I need to ask you something."

She sat down beside him, grasping his hand. "Whats wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong. But, it's important to me to know that you're safe. And here, is not safe."

Sara slipped her hand over his. "Then where is?"

"I would like it if you would come to Birmingham with me." Tommy looked her dead in the eye. He had been waiting for the right time to spring his proposition on her.

"Come to Birmingham?" She narrowed her eyes. "To live?"

He nodded, placing his other hand over hers.

"Where would I live?" she asked, innocently.

"With me." He answered, truthfully. He studied her as she considered his proposal. He could read the doubt in her eyes, and honestly, it hurt. He had hoped she would jump at his offer but he knew he had to give allowances for what she had been through over the last couple of weeks.

She squeezed his hand. "What about my job Tommy? I can't desert Alfie again."

"I can talk to Alfie. Once he knows the truth, he'll understand. And if he doesn't, then I'll make him." He pressed his lips into a tight smile.

Sara leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Thomas Shelby, what am I going to do with you?"

He ignored her rhetorical question and pulled her to him, wrapping his arm tightly around her shoulders. "Say you'll come with me."

"Ok."

He pulled away from her. "Ok?"

She grinned. "You heard me. But we can't stay with your Aunt forever. There isn't enough room."

"You let me worry about that." Tommy kissed her gently, satisfied at her agreement. He was yet to tell her that he had already acquired a house outside of the city for them. He just had one score to settle first.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few doors down, the sound of the shrill ringing brought him back to reality with a bang. Despite his warnings to Sara, he hadn't seen her since he had left her in the alley two weeks previous and he was growing increasingly nervous. It was obvious to him that she knew it was him who was there, but the lack of any knocks on his door indicated to him that she hadn't gone to the police. He tried to relax but with each day that went past, he was growing more and more anxious. Shaking the feeling of self doubt, he walked to the corner of the room and picked up the handset.

"Yes?"

"Lockwood?"

Yet again, Alfie Solomons' distinctive accent sounded into his ear. James sat down. He had been waiting a long time for this call. He hoped Alfie had some news for him. "Yes Mr Solomons, what can I do for you?"

"You can meet me at the factory at 9pm tonight. I have just had a conversation with your wife. She has been somewhat poorly this last couple of weeks so has been unable to work, however, she is coming to see me then. I suggest you do the same." He spoke, hanging up the phone almost immediately.

James placed the handset back down, smiling to himself. He knew Alfie would come through for him. He wondered what excuse Sara had given him as it was unlikely she had told him the truth. He thought to the forthcoming meeting. Finally, he would have Sara back where she belonged, and this last four months could be written off as a stupid mistake. Things would soon be back to normal.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alfie listened intently as the factory door closed. The last of the workers had gone home and the building was now eerily quiet. He tapped his foot on the wooden floor and glanced up at the clock. _Almost nine._ He waited patiently for his visitors to arrive, passing the time by pouring himself a drink. Settling back in his chair, he took a drink as he kept an eye on the door.

James Lockwood had made the short journey to Alfie's factory on foot. Part of him wondered if he would bump into Sara on the way. Perhaps that would make things easier that having to go through Alfie. But it wasn't to be. Eventually he found himself at the main door of the distillery. Taking in a deep breath, he pushed it open and took a step inside. The main room was dark and its emptiness almost took him by surprise. He had been used to it being constantly busy and seeing it so quiet like this was odd to him.

"Who's there?" the voice bellowed from the other end of the floor.

"Mr Solomons? Its James Lockwood."

Alfie appeared at his office door, cane in hand and hat on his head. "Ah nice to see ya. And right on time."

James made his way towards him, stopping as soon as he was a few feet away. "Where is Sara?"

"She ain't here yet. You know women, always runnin' fuckin' late." He chuckled. "Come through here I've got some bread you might wanna try."

Alfie led James away from his office and walked through one of the long winding corridors until he finally came to an old abandoned room. Pushing open the door, he stepped aside. "After you mate."

James cautiously made his way inside. The room was dimly lit and something about the situation didn't sit right with him. He turned as he heard the door close behind him.

"You seem tense mate. What's up wit' ya?"

"Oh nothing at all." James lifted the hat from his head and brought it down in front of him, nervously running his fingers around the brim. "It's just been so long since I last seen my wife."

"An' why is that? Why'd she run out on you? Didn't do her in did ya?" Alfie laughed. He caught James' attention as he did so and couldn't help but notice the sudden flash of remorse in his eyes. "You did, didn't ya?"

Turning away from Alfie's intense gaze, James took a breath, unable to look him in the eye.

"Ah I bet she deserved it mate, they all do." Alfie took steps towards him, choosing not to look at him as he passed. He made his way over to a table in the corner where a bottle lay on the table with three glasses. "Come on then, I promised you some bread."

James watched as he poured out all the glasses. Stretching out his arm, Alfie held the glass out to him. "Here's to your good health mate."

Taking the glass, James raised it up before taking the drink down his throat. His ears pricked up at the echoing sound of the factory entrance door slamming shut in the distance.

"That'll be our girl now. She's all 'ere for ya. Obviously realised wha' she was missin' eh!" Alfie smirked, taking another drink.

"Thank goodness. I just want to get her home and out of here. I think I might take her back to New York. She was happier there." James admitted, finishing his drink.

"Oh I don't doubt it mate. And 'specially to get her away from the likes of that gypsy scum Shelby. I don't know what the fuck she seen in 'im."

The door to the room they were standing in swung open and quickly slammed shut again.

"Yeah I fuckin' hate that Thomas Shelby."

 **A/N - Apologies for the shorter than normal chapter. Thank you to everyone who has favorited/followed and reviewed this story. I love reading all your comments so keep them coming!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

 **A/N – As in a previous chapter, if you don't want to read any suggestive themes, please stop reading when you see the continuous X's. You'll see them again further down the page and that's where you can recommence**

James felt his whole body freeze as the unfamiliar voice echoed around the room. There was an air of distinction about the voice, it was almost authoritative. His eyes flew up to Alfie Solomons who was still standing across from him. His eyes never left James' but there was something different in them now, something that James didn't like. They were narrowed down on him, still not acknowledging the man who had since entered the room. His ears pricked up as footsteps behind him started to grow closer. He felt as though the dimly lit room was getting smaller by the second, and his heart start to race with his pulse quickening as they finally came to a halt. His blood ran cold as he heard the unmistakable sound of a cocked gun.

"You look like you've seen a ghost mate." Alfie finally broke the uncomfortable silence and started making his way towards him, lifting a discarded chair in the process. He placed it down in front of James. "Why don't you have a seat."

Frozen to the spot, James felt unable to even move his eyes away from Alfie.

"Sit." The voice behind him bellowed, forcing James out of his trance, finally doing as he was told. He moved to the front of the chair and sat down, his cane held between his legs. He lifted his eyes slightly as the anonymous man behind him finally came into view. Gathering the nerve to look up, he recognised him instantaneously as the man he had seen out with Sara.

"Now, I don't think you two have been properly introduced, have ya?" Alfie asked, humorously.

Lowering the gun and turning his head, Tommy looked up at him before glancing back down at James. "You know Alfie, I think you're right."

Alfie's voice had a jovial tone to it, almost as though he was introducing two friends. "Tommy, this is James Lockwood. The husband of your little friend, Sara."

Tommy nodded, placing his hands in front of them, clasping them together around the gun. "Ah right. So, if that be the case Alfie, this will also be the same man who left her in a fuckin' alley in the middle of the night after beatin' her fuckin' senseless. Am I right?"

"Oh, you're always right mate. Never doubt ya for a second." Alfie smirked, pouring out another drink. He lifted the glass and handed it to Tommy. "And Mr Lockwood, this man here, is Thomas Shelby. He's the reason you ain't ever gonna see the fuckin' light of day again."

James' eyes widened as he watched Tommy knock back the drink before placing the barrel of the gun against his forehead. "Look, I don't know what you're talkin' about."

"Fucking shut your mouth!" Tommy raged, forcing the gun harder onto his temple. "She knew it was you! But that ain't the first time you've done something like that to her is it? Last time, it was a fuckin' glass wasn't it? Wasn't that the reason she left you? Went all the way back to the States because you put a fuckin' glass across her face. Ain't that right? And you honestly thought Alfie here would help you out? Oh don't get me wrong. He almost did. But once he knew the truth, once he found out exactly what a fuckin' parasite you are, he wasn't as willing to help you out as he once was."

"Mr Shelby, I…" James started.

"Don't fuckin' Mr Shelby me. There's only one thing you can do that will make me even consider letting you go." Tommy bargained.

James looked up, desperation for a life line was clear on his face. "What is that?"

"Divorce her. She doesn't want a thing from you. Just divorce her and be done with it. Let her get on with her life."

James looked up at him, slightly taken aback by his demand. "For what? So she can shack up with you?"

"So I can look after her properly. This isn't a request. First thing tomorrow, you apply for a divorce. I have connections who will make sure its dealt with swiftly."

Alfie took a step forward so he was standing in line with Tommy. "I'd do as he says mate. These gypsies can be fuckin' crazy. If he don't kill ya, he'll probably curse ya."

Anger appeared on James' face. He'd come all this way and he wasn't to just give her up like that. He sucked back saliva from inside his mouth and spat down toward the ground, hitting Tommy's shoe. "Go to hell."

Smirking at his insolence, Tommy tilted his head. "Nah mate, that's where you're going. One day, I'll meet you there" Lifting the gun again, he pointed it at James' temple and calmly pulled the trigger.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She stirred in her sleep as the familiar feeling of Tommy's presence next to her immediately comforted her.

"Where have you been?" she murmured, turning around to face him, sliding her arm across his stomach and pressing her body against his. She smiled to herself as she realised he had undressed before climbing into bed. His naked skin was clammy, yet soft. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes.

"Dealing with a few things." He whispered, gently kissing her forehead.

She smiled at the feeling of his lips against her skin. The room was dark, but she could just about make out the outline of his face. Reaching up, she traced her fingers down his sharp cheekbones. She sighed heavily. "Women would kill for those you know. They could cut glass."

Tommy smirked, pulling her closer to him.

"So what things were you dealing with?" she asked, moving closer to him, slipping her hand around the waistband of his flannel drawers.

"Our future." He answered cryptically.

She looked up at him with a puzzled expression on her face. "What do you mean?"

"Let's just say, your husband won't be troubling you anymore." Tommy lifted her chin up towards him.

"What do you mean?" She sat up, trying to process the information he was giving her.

"I mean, Alfie and I attempted to reason with him but, he refused to listen. He disrespected you Sara, on more than one occasion. He was dangerous. Who knows what he would have done to get you back. I wasn't about to let that happen. You've been through enough in your life without constantly looking over your shoulder. I dealt with him."

"You mean….?" Slowly, realisation was beginning to dawn on her.

He nodded. "I had to Sara. Once was enough. Twice, the guy signed his own death warrant."

Pulling the sheets to her body, Sara felt her body tremble as she realised the enormity of the situation. "Why would you do that?"

"I told you before. There's things about me you won't like, but I am fiercely protective of my family and those that I love. I'll go to the ends of the earth to protect them if I have to. And you are no exception. I spoke with Alfie a few days ago. I told him everything that had happened. He was ready to do a deal with your husband. Ready to effectively sign you over to him. He had agreed a plan to get you back to the factory when your husband was there. But, on hearing the reality of the situation, he was quick to change his mind. He's quite fond of you, is Alfie."

Sara shook her head, running her hands through her hair. She felt tears welling up in her eyes which she was struggling to control. She didn't understand the feelings surging through her. She felt guilt for allowing this to happen. Had he really deserved such a swift execution? Sadness crept through her subconscious at the thought of him meeting such a brutal end, but, simultaneously, she felt elation. She no longer had to live in fear of him. She had never truly realised just what he was capable of until the night he had left her in the nearby alleyway. At that point, she realised just what lengths he would go to, to get what he wanted.

"Hey." Sensing her melancholy, Tommy sat up and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Tell me I was wrong to do it."

She gazed up at him. Under the darkness, he looked like a lost little boy. His eyes were begging for her approval. "Its over?" she asked.

He nodded, giving her a slight smile. "Its over."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She wrapped her arms tightly around him, pulling his body close to hers. She felt him tremble at her contact and knew he had been toying with his conscious, even though his actions were not something he would normally struggle with. Of all the occasions they had spent together, he was always so calm and collected. Cold even. She was finally starting to see long awaited emotion come to the surface and she had to be honest, she relished it. She wanted to see more of it. From what Polly had divulged, before the war, he had been buoyant, cheeky and good humoured. He laughed, played pranks on his brothers and found it easy to love others. However, since arriving back from France, she knew that Tommy was long gone. He was buried so far under this hard exterior that his family had long since accepted it would never be seen again. But, never one to back down from a challenge, Sara was determined to bring that version of him back to the surface. Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind, she turned her focus back to the man hovering above her. Sliding her hands down his spine to his waistband, she ran her fingers around the elastic, slipping her index fingers slightly inside. His weight shifted on top of her and he settled himself between her legs. His hand fell down his side and found itself resting on her knee and he dragged his fingers softly along her thighs. They were smooth to the touch and Tommy found himself groaning into the crook of her neck at the feel of her soft supple skin. He closed his eyes as he felt the familiar feeling of Sara's lips trail down the side of his temple. She shifted slightly and gently kissed the helix of his ear, gently blowing warm air inside before finally nibbling softly on his ear lobe, causing him to shudder at the feeling. Tommy responded quickly by gliding his fingertips further up her leg and underneath the mid length nightdress she wore, catching her by surprise. He silenced the gasp which came from her by capturing her lips with his own, pulling her tighter to him. Feeling content to allow him to continue, Sara manoeuvred herself underneath him, getting more comfortable under the weight of his body. He smiled down at her, watching her under the dim moonlight before finally slipping his shorts down his body and claiming her as his.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **1 week later**

"How are you feeling?"

John lit his cigar and placed it within his lips, taking a few short puffs to get it started. Standing at the snug serving hatch, he lifted the bottle and made his way back over to the table, sitting down and letting his eyes wander over the blonde haired beauty sat in front of him.

"I'm fine John. Do you Shelby brothers always worry so much?" she teased.

John shook his head. "Not normally, no. But I know Tom's been concerned about you. He's worried you won't settle here. Not that he'd ever admit to worrying about anyone."

Sara ran her fingers along the rim of her glass, staring down into the clear liquid which swirled around. "I wasn't sure how I'd feel coming here. I don't miss London. I never wanted to be there. I miss Ada and Karl though. I guess I always assumed that if I moved again, it would be back to the States."

"Do you not want to be here?" He quizzed.

Sara shook her head. "It's not that. It's just a new place. Again. I guess I struggle with change. I just want to try and settle in one place and not keep moving around. I want somewhere I can call home."

"Well I'm sure you'll have that soon enough."

Sara smiled weakly. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy living with Polly. She had made her feel incredibly welcome, and she loved going to bed each night, knowing Tommy was there. Well, for the most part. Some nights he never came to bed until the early hours and then he would always rise before dawn. It was unusual for her to ever see him asleep. She knew that business kept him busy at all hours, but this wasn't what she signed up for. Lifting her eyes and staring up towards the wall behind John, she let her mind wander to what her life could be like under the watchful eye of Thomas Shelby.

"Sara?"

Her head snapped back down to John's attentive gaze.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, quickly taking a drink of the gin. "Just thinking. When is Tommy getting here?"

Lifting his watch from its rightful pocket, he glanced down at the time. "Any minute now."

Nodding, Sara got to her feet. "I'm going to get some air."

Not waiting for a response, she got to her feet and pushed open the door of the snug into the Garrison's main bar. Silence descended around her as she entered. She learnt to realise now that this act of hush was one of respect. She had seen the same quiet shroud the pub the first time she had visited, and she understood now, that it always happened in the company of a Peaky Blinder. _Was that how they considered her?_ No doubt, they had seen her come and go with Tommy and the fact she now frequented the pub and sat in their private room had reinforced their impressions of her. Shaking the thoughts from her head, she ignored their fleeting stares and made her way outside into the cool night air. She thought back over the last few months. The year seemed to be flying by. November was almost upon them and the nights were starting to darken earlier than before. Christmas would shortly be arriving, and Sara sniffed as she realised this would be there first year she wouldn't spend the holiday season with her family. It was a hard pill to swallow. She had contacted her father under Tommy's instruction a few days previous, explaining how she had gone back to James when she had arrived back in England. She told them they had been held up whilst out walking in the park one evening. She hated lying to her father but with her testimony and the Peaky Blinders back handers to the police on their payroll, it ensured no further involvement from the authorities both in England and in America. The police indicated it would be unlikely they would find the culprit. The looks switching between Sergeant Moss and Tommy had not gone unnoticed by Sara and she fully understood the lengths he had gone to protect them both. She was now officially a widow. The papers had been filed quickly under Tommy's influence. An influence which appeared to know no bounds.

"Evenin'"

The voice startled her from her thoughts and brought her screaming back to reality. She hadn't realised she had been resting her head against the pub wall until she had to bring it back down to face the voice that had surprised her. Looking over, she felt a sudden lurch in her stomach as the tall brunette towered above her. She was of slim build with extremely pale skin. Her eyes peaked out from under her navy cloche hat and her red coat clung to her slender frame. Sara recognised her immediately from the first time she had visited the Garrison. She also recalled Tommy's admissions about paying for this woman's services on more than one occasion.

"I understand you're Tommy's flavour of the month then?"

"Excuse me?" Sara cleared her throat and pushed herself off the wall towards the woman.

"Oh nothing, never mind me." She smirked.

Sara took a further step towards her. She examined the woman's face, watching her every movement. "You're an…..acquaintance of Tommy's?" she asked, choosing her words carefully.

Lizzie sniggered under her breath. "I guess that's one way of putting it. Now, I'm curious. What exactly is it, you're doing here?"

"I live here." She answered immediately.

"Is that right?"

Sara nodded. "I live with Tommy."

Lizzie felt her smile slightly twitch and fade from her face. She hadn't been expecting this. Tommy? Living with another woman? Surely he would have mentioned this. That being said, he hadn't come to her for several months now. She had to admit, she was missing his touch. He paid her well at the den, so she had no further need to carry out any extra curricular activities but sometimes, a woman had needs and so far, they had remained unfulfilled. Tommy was normally the only one who could ever scratch the itch she had in the right way. Despite the sex mainly feeling cold and mechanical, there was something about him and the way he seemed to touch a woman that made them feel as though they were on fire, and it pained her to think of him now receiving what he needed from someone else, particularly someone as weak and timid as this woman now standing in front of her.

"Well I'm sure that's the most convenient way at the moment." Lizzie attempted to put on a brave face. "At least until he tires of you."

Sara took a further step towards the woman. "I'm not sure what it is that you're trying to insinuate, or what it is you think you know about us, but I can assure you, you are wrong. Our life together is none of your damn business, so why don't you go back to your horizontal occupation and leave us alone."

Lizzie watched as the woman turned on her heel and stepped back into the pub, letting the door slam shut behind her. Clearly, she had underestimated this woman. But, if there was one thing Lizzie relished, it was a challenge, particularly when it came to a certain Mr Shelby.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

It had taken much longer than Tommy had expected, but his insistence at having stables erected behind the extensive mansion had put his moving plans on hold. The typical British weather had blighted his chances of surprising Sara with the property and scuppered any possibility of them living there by Christmas. Needless to say, the holiday season came and went and 1923 had quickly arrived. Now, he was standing in the spacious foyer of his new home, eyes darting about, taking in his surroundings.

"Is everything to your liking Mr Shelby?"

Tommy turned to face the man he had hired to carry out the work. He was stepping anxiously from side to side, clearly intimidated by him. Tommy simply nodded, slid his hand into his pocket and handed him the large money roll. Satisfied with the work that had been done, he was ready to head back into the city to inform Sara of their impending move, hopeful she would feel great relief at no longer having to live in the cramped surroundings of Watery Lane.

Stepping outside into the cold air, he pulled his long dark coat closer to his body and forced his hands deep into his pockets. Shifting into the front seat of his car, he tilted his hat further down his forehead and glanced back at the house. He had left the maids cleaning the rooms and making up the bedrooms. Tommy had spent a long time wandering around the rooms, trying to decide which one would be their bedroom. _Their bedroom._ He liked the sound of that. It had been a long time since he had thought of anything he had belonging to another. He only wanted the very best for Sara. Knowing her history, knowing what she grew up with until she reached her early teens, he found difficult to stomach. The thought of her, lost and alone in squalor, hungry and cold, was painful to say the least, but he knew he at least had the means to give her everything she wanted. He could recreate her life in New York. But he knew she wasn't precious about it. She had taken to living at Polly's and adapting to life in Small Heath like a duck to water. Knowing her insistence to work, Tommy had set her up running the books in the den. Clearly doing so, had put Lizzie's nose out of joint. She detested this woman for suddenly appearing and becoming the stop gap between her and the man she truly loved. Tommy had noticed the animosity between them the second he had formally introduced them, unaware of their altercation outside the Garrison following Sara's relocation to Small Heath. Lizzie now had no reason to go directly to Tommy and she hated it. What limited time she ever had with him before, was now gone. It had been difficult for Tommy in the beginning, having Sara close to him whenever he was in the office was hard to resist, but she had been ever the professional, refusing to succumb to Tommy's advances. Whenever she came in to discuss money, he could smell her sweet aroma and he relished the look of her in her tight skirts and boots. Regularly, he had allowed his hand to roam up the side of her leg and rest on her petite backside, but she had pushed him away. _"Business first, Mr Shelby."_ She had teased. He enjoyed having her around and at first, he knew he let it get in the way. He was distracted easily during those first few weeks and he knew his family had noticed. It took him some time, but he eventually got used to her being there and settled back into his normal routine. On the odd occasion he let his guard down around her in the office, he could sense Lizzie's eyes burning into the back of his skull. During her first day, Tommy had arrived back at the den to find Lizzie sitting at her desk, her face like thunder.

 _"Problem Lizzie?"_

 _"I thought no one was allowed to use your office?"_

Tommy's eyes narrowed towards the door which sat ajar, slowly making his way towards it. He could hear the annoyance in Lizzie's voice so wasn't overly surprised to find the young blonde sitting at his desk. He had leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his body and watched her intently as she worked, a bemused look on his face. She had finally sensed his presence and looked up at him.

 _"I couldn't concentrate through there. Esme won't shut up."_ She had laughed.

Surprisingly, she and Esme seemed to be getting along. He was stupefied to see Esme actually making an effort with another woman. It wasn't like her. She regularly argued with the other women in their company and always seemed to rub people up the wrong way, but Sara gave her as good as she got, and in turn, earned the woman's respect. He had wandered into the office, closing the door behind him, and made his way around the desk, so he was standing behind her. Leaning over her, he had rested his hands on her waist and eased her up out of his large leather chair.

 _"Tommy, what are you doing?"_ She had laughed.

 _"Taking advantage of company assets."_ He had turned her around and leaned her back against the desk, slightly perching her on it. Despite her protests, she had reciprocated by parting her legs and allowed him to nestle himself between them, her skirt hitching up around her thighs at his intrusion. He had grasped the back of her neck and pulled her to him, locating her lips quickly. Only then, did he hear the cough coming from the now open door. Quickly separating from her, his eyes landed on Lizzie, her face was like thunder and he could see the jealousy radiating from her.

 _"Can I help you Lizzie?"_ He asked.

She had shaken her head. _"I need to speak with Sara, Mr Shelby. If you can pry away from her."_

His mouth had narrowed, and he pursed his lips together. Leaning back down to Sara, he had planted another brief kiss on her lips before leaving them alone.

Now, as Tommy drove back to Small Heath, he thought about how he would tell her his news. It had been a difficult subject to keep secret, particularly once he had let Arthur in on it. Plenty of times they had been in the Garrison and his older brother had had a skinful, he had almost let his secret slip. But now, he was ready to tell her.

Darkness was starting to descend over the horizon as Tommy drove the short distance back into Birmingham. Fog had started to fall around him, and he was almost struggling to see the road ahead, but he continued until the street lights of the small town began to appear up ahead of him. Despite them only being a short distance from the city, the difference in environment from Watery Lane to his new home were worlds apart.

Pulling into his street, his eyes darted around. The streets were quiet, and other than the usual rowdiness coming from the Garrison, there was nothing else to be seen. The lights were out in the den, indicating the workers had either gone home, or were currently propping themselves up in the pub. Knowing where he would likely find his family, he turned off the engine and got out of the car and made his way down the street to the large building on the corner. Pushing open the door, he entered the pub to the familiar hush which always happened when he appeared. Nodding to the punters, he made his way into the snug, not surprised to see his Aunt, brothers and Sara sitting around the table. They seemed in good spirits and he found it difficult to suppress a smile as John cracked a joke at Arthurs expense. Sitting down in the empty seat next to Polly, his eyes found Sara's who was sitting across the table from him. She tilted her head, watching him in amusement, and gave him a quick wink.

"Well, since you're all here." Tommy stood from his chair. "I have some news."

His family looked up at him, watching him intently as he lit a cigarette and made his way to the serving hatch in the wall. Without saying a word, Harry placed a bottle of whisky and a glass in front of him. Accepting them, he closed the hatch door and placed them on the table, pouring out a drink.

"Well come on Tommy." Polly huffed, impatiently. "Out with it already."

"Well Pol, it seems as though I will no longer be a burden to you." He stated. Looks of confusion crept over their faces. All of them apart from Arthur, who was now sitting with a comical look on his face. "I have decided to move further into the property market and I have purchased a property called Arrow House, about twenty miles south of here."

"Why?" John asked, lighting another cigar.

"Well John, as you know, there comes a time when you need to grow up and cut the apron strings. And that time has finally come." He smirked. "But, there's still one thing I need before I can move in."

"And what's that Thomas?" Polly turned her body to face her nephew.

Tommy placed his hands inside his trouser pockets and made his way around the table until he arrived at Sara's side. Kneeling down next to her, he took her hands in his, rubbing them gently with his thumb. "Sara to come with me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tommy lifted the last box from his old bedroom, ready to take out into the car. After James' death, Sara had finally been able to get back into her former home and pick up the remainder of her belongings. As he had been packing it all into the car, Tommy couldn't help but feel grateful at the scale of the home he had purchased. After taking many of the items home already, he couldn't quite believe just how much she owned. She'd need an entire room just for the number of shoes she had. Smirking to himself, he started to place the box onto the back seat.

"Tommy!"

The voice startled him, causing the box to slide from his grasp. Tommy's eyes drifted down to the pavement where he noticed a folder had fallen out.

"Tommy!"

"What is it Finn?" Tommy bent down and picked the folder up, cursing under his breath at his clumsiness.

"Aunt Pol needs ya. She's back at the den." Finn gasped, trying to catch his breath after running the length of the long street.

"Fuck sake." Tommy sighed.

Nodding, he closed the car door and picked the folder up off the ground, tucking it under his arm before making his way along to the den. Opening the door, he stepped into the darkened room and walked briskly to his office. Leaving the folder on his desk, he lit a cigarette and poured himself a drink.

"Tommy? Is that you?"

"In 'ere Pol." He shouted down the corridor.

The sound of her heels pacing the wooden floor echoed around the room, growing louder as she approached his door. They came to a stop as she appeared in his doorway.

"Finn said you needed something?" He asked.

Polly nodded, stepping into his room and placed a letter down on the table in front of him. "This came today. In the name of Romanov. Do you mind telling me what the fuck is goin' on Thomas?"

"Just some business, Pol. Nothing to worry about." He took another drink, refusing to meet her gaze.

"Russian business Tommy? What the fuck are you doin' discussin' business with fuckin' Russians?"

"Not important right now Pol. I'll speak to you about it once I'm finally into this fuckin' house. I've got enough to deal with right now."

She looked him over carefully, her curled hair hung tight around her cheeks, tucking in around her jawline. She lit a cigarette and leaned against the edge of his desk. "I hope you know what it is you're doing Thomas. But, I can't help but think that you don't have a fuckin' clue, and its going to be me who will be picking up the fuckin' pieces."

"Go to the Garrison Pol. I'll meet you there. Tell Sara I'll be there in ten minutes." Tommy sat down in his leather chair and lit another cigarette, watching as Polly left the room. He sat for a while simply enjoying the peace and quiet before his eyes finally fell back over the paperwork on the desk, landing on the folder he had dropped outside. Lifting it up, he glanced over it, unsure as to the contents and hesitant to open it. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him, and he opened it up, settling the sheets of paper onto his desk. His brow furrowed as he examined them carefully.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tommy?"

He didn't lift his head as he heard Sara made her way into the office. It had been almost an hour since Polly had left and no doubt, she'd had been starting to wonder where he'd got to. She called him again but still, he didn't respond. He sensed she had finally found him and was now standing in the doorway and only then, did he finally lift his eyes slightly.

"Are you alright? Polly said you'd be along to the pub a while ago." She made her way over to him but slowed as she sensed the tension around him.

"Care to explain this?" he asked.

She loathed the tone in his voice. It was accusatory and critical, and she wasn't sure what she had done to deserve such a response. Moving closer to him, she glanced over the paperwork he had laid out in front of him. Her breath hitched in her throat as realisation finally set in. Pictures of the Shelby family lay sprawled out across the desk and the investigators report was in his hand. He pursed his lips and lifted his head, watching her as she came closer to him. He tensed as she placed her hand on his shoulder. Part of him hated how he was feeling. He looked over the woman in front of him and whilst he knew he loved her, he couldn't help but feel like she had betrayed him. What possible reason could she have to hold so much information on his family. How long had she held this file for? Why did she have it? Who was she passing information to?

"Who are you working for?" he demanded. "Why are you here?"

Her mouth opened slightly at his allegation, taken aback by his attack on her. In the few months they had known each other, it was the first time they had really had an argument, and she couldn't say she was enjoying the experience.

"Why do you even have this? Were you going through my things?" she challenged, suddenly unhappy with the one sidedness of the conversation. She knew she had stored the file within one of the many boxes she had brought from her previous home so couldn't understand how he could just have stumbled upon it.

"Don't fuckin' turn this on me Sara." He got to his feet, throwing the papers to the table. "It fell out one of your boxes. I was moving them into our new house. You know, that house I bought for us to live in, but now, I'm not sure that's the right thing to do!"

"Are you kidding me?" she was taken aback by his attitude towards her. "You're willing to forget our future because of a few pictures?"

"Look, I told you about fuckin' Grace. She betrayed me. She was feeding information back to Churchill. Now you turn up, you get involved in my life, and now I find a dossier on me and my family! What else am I supposed to fuckin' think?" he yelled, anger surging through him.

"You're supposed to hear me out! But you won't do that will you? You're too stubborn to do that. Well, I'm not about to stand here and take accusations like this! I could have went back to America, back to my family, and stayed there. But I didn't. I came back here for you!" she raged.

Tommy sat back down and lit a cigarette. "Yes, and why did you do that Sara? Why all of a sudden did you decide to do that? Was it something to do with these?" he signalled to the papers in front of him.

"As a matter of fact, it was." She admitted. "But, not in the way you think."

He watched her as she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, leaving him alone. Signing, he gathered up the papers and placed them back inside the folder. His conscious was arguing with him but yet, he refused to let it overturn his thinking. He leaned forward, spreading his arms across the edge of the desk, palms faced down and his head bowed. He closed his eyes and tried to consider his next move.

"Tommy?"

He sighed at the thought of yet another person needing his attention. "What is it Lizzie?"

"Are you alright?" she walked into the room, making her way around to his side of the desk, perching herself on the edge, the top of her thigh lightly touching his outstretched fingers.

"Never fuckin' better. What are you doing here?"

Lizzie turned her body slightly and placed her hand over his, tucking her fingers under his palm. "I was just finishing up when I heard the commotion. I knew you couldn't trust her Tommy."

"You don't know anything yet Lizzie. Neither do I." he sighed.

Her eyes drifted over the silhouette of his face. He still didn't look up at her, but she noticed how he still hadn't pulled his hand away from her. She lightly stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, trying to get any kind of response from him.

"Go home Lizzie." He finally spoke, lifting himself from the desk and making his way outside, leaving her alone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Finally! We thought you'd got lost. Or you and Sara had disappeared to christen the new house." Arthur exclaimed, winking at his brother. "Speaking of which, where is Sara?"

"Didn't she come back here?" Tommy's eyebrows narrowed, glancing around his family sitting in front of him. They shook their heads, indicating that none of them had seen her.

"She told us she was going to meet you at the den. Said she'd be back in five minutes." Polly stated.

"She came to see me, but she left about thirty minutes ago. I assumed she would have come back here."

"She definitely hasn't been back here." John explained, getting to his feet. "Want us to go look for her?"

Tommy nodded. "I'll go back to the house. See if she's there. John, Arthur, check the cut and Charlie's yard. She might have gone down to see the horses."

John nodded and disappeared out the snug with Arthur following quickly behind him, leaving Tommy alone with Polly and Finn.

"What's happened Thomas?" she finally asked, pushing a glass of whisky across the table towards him, indicating for him to sit.

Not quite ready to divulge the truth to Polly, he knocked the drink back. "Nothing Polly. We simply had a disagreement. She left, but I assumed she had come back here."

"Oh, loves young dream isn't so perfect after all." She teased, lighting a cigarette and leaning back in her chair. She had to admit, she didn't like the thought of them fighting. She had really taken to Sara and could see the goodness she brought to Tommy's life. If she didn't know any better, she was sure it wouldn't be long before Thomas finally proposed. He had purchased an extensive property and she had no doubt, it would not only house the two of them. She expected it wouldn't be long before Sara would finally settle him down and no doubt, children would soon follow. She adored John's children, but she couldn't deny, they were rowdy. Knowing Tommy as well as she did and having some idea of the childhood that Sara grew up in, she assumed their children's upbringing would be completely different.

"Apparently not Pol. I'm going back to the house. When she comes back, tell her that's where I'll be."

Polly nodded, watching him as he turned his back to her and made his way outside, allowing the door to slam behind him. Finn simply shifted in his chair, slightly on edge, concern rallying through him at the unknown location of Sara. Ignoring Polly's requests for him to go back to the house, he waited patiently for any news of her whereabouts.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

The sun set and rose another seven days and Tommy continued to pace in front of the bedroom window, his eyes never leaving the courtyard on the other side of the glass. Guilt crept through him as he thought back to the last word he spoke to Sara. They had parted on such negativity and Tommy constantly felt like kicking himself for how he had reacted, not allowing her time to explain. But, he couldn't deny, he still felt wary about the dossier he had found. Over the past few days, he had pored over the information Sara had collected on him and his family and desperately tried to consider her reasons for holding such information, but as of yet, he hadn't come up with a reasonable excuse for it.

"Have you slept Thomas?" Polly stepped into the room, pulling him from his thoughts.

He nodded his head. "Briefly. Have you had any word?"

"Nothing yet. Ada hasn't seen her either, so I don't know how likely it is that she's gone back to London. Where else would she stay other than Ada's?" Polly questioned.

Shrugging his shoulders, Tommy dragged himself away from the window and over to the table in the corner, pouring the whisky into two glasses before handing one to Polly. "Have you spoke to Solomons?"

Polly nodded. "John spoke with him yesterday. Swears he hasn't seen her either. Had a few choice words for you if you don't find her though."

"I'll bet." Tommy grumbled, knocking back the liquor.

"So, are you going to tell me what the disagreement was about? Had to be something serious if she's taken off." Polly moved to take a seat on the couch which sat along the foot of the bed.

Making moves to the dressing table, Tommy opened up the top drawer and pulled the brown envelope out, handing it over to Polly. She accepted it with a slightly confused look. "Whats this?"

Ignoring her, Tommy moved back to the window and lit a cigarette, unsurprised when he heard his Aunt slightly gasp behind him.

"Where did this come from?" she demanded, getting to her feet.

"I found it within Sara's belongings. I'm not quite sure why she had it. I questioned her." He admitted.

"You questioned her, or you interrogated her?" Polly asked, moving to stand beside her nephew.

"Is there any difference?" He asked.

Polly turned to him. "Well, one method had caused her to walk out on you. I doubt the other one would have had the same effect. There's nothing in here which is incriminating." She stated, browsing the paperwork again. "Its all standard stuff which anyone around here knows. What is it you're so angry about?"

"Why did she need it?" Tommy questioned, pulling the papers from her and looking through them. "For what possible reason could she have to have all this information?"

Looking over his shoulder, she glanced at the words in front of her, watching as he flicked through each page. "Wait…" He stopped as she reached forward and lifted out a small note tucked between the sheets. Opening it up, her eyes fell over the words. "Look at the address on here. Its in New York."

"And?"

"Well I know you're constantly thinking back to Grace and what she did, but based on the address of this company, she's not reporting back to any organisation in England. So, is it possible she has this for her own knowledge? Look at the date, she acquired this information when she was back in New York. You know, when she was fighting with her conscious about whether she should come back to you." Polly reasoned.

Glancing down at her, Tommy considered her words. "You think I've been too hasty."

She shrugged and finished her drink. "Does it really matter what I think? She's not here now. And why is that Tommy? You have this huge house and no one to share it with."

"I pushed her away, didn't I?" he folded the papers up again and placed them into the envelope, placing them back in the drawer.

"You just need to pull her back, Tommy."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She sat at the window, watching as the snow began to fall down in front of the frosted glass. The hotel room was warm and luxurious but, yet she felt as though she didn't deserve to enjoy the grand setting. She thought back over the last few days, angry with herself that she hadn't thrown the paperwork in the fire when she had returned. Why did she keep it? She'd had no reason to, but now, it was pointless even thinking about it. He had found it and as a result, it had potentially ruined their relationship. For the first time in years, she had genuinely felt happy with Tommy and she was irritated at her lack of consideration for his feelings and how he must have felt, finding such material on his family. But yet, she felt infuriated that he hadn't given her a chance to explain. He had automatically went on the defensive but truthfully, she knew this was in his nature. His nature was to defend himself, defend his family regardless of how irrational he was perhaps being. Act now, worry about it later. But yet, she had believed he trusted her more than that which pained her further as she gently stroked her fingertips across her slightly swollen abdomen. Tears pricked at her eyes as she fought them back, desperately trying to consider her options. Tommy had left her in no doubt as to his feelings that afternoon and now, knowing she was carrying his child, she wasn't convinced she was in a position to continue. She'd had an inclination the month before when she'd had to rush to the bathroom one early morning. She had been thankful that Tommy had been away on business at the time, but she was unsure if anyone else in the house had heard her. No doubt, Polly would be quick to quiz her, should she have suspected anything, but so far, she hadn't said a word. Having arrived in London the morning after her argument with Tommy, she had called ahead and made an appointment with a renowned doctor on Harley Street who had since confirmed her pregnancy, estimating her to be approximately ten weeks along. She had come out of the doctors office feeling as though she was walking on air, but now, thinking of how Tommy reacted to her, she wasn't feeling quite so positive. Before he had discovered the paperwork, she had been planning on telling him what she believed was happening when they had moved into their new home, but now, she wouldn't get that chance. Considering her options, she lifted the phone, holding the small piece of paper in her hand and dialled the number written on it.

"Hello, I was told you could help me with a situation I have?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He stood at his usual spot in front of the bedroom bay window. Snow had now covered the courtyard outside, having fallen constantly for the last few hours and Tommy felt his body shiver at the thought of the freezing temperatures outside. He hated the thought of Sara being out, alone in such chilly conditions. It had been almost a month since she had walked out and as much as he hated to admit it to himself, it was seeming incredibly likely that she wasn't coming back.

Forcing the thoughts from his mind, he reached over to the bed and picked up his suit jacket, pulling it over his shoulders. He had business to take care of and he wasn't allowing himself to be distracted any longer. A small knock at the door startled him from his thoughts.

"Yes?"

The door slowly opened and Mary appeared. "Sir, your brothers are here. And there's a gentleman at the door."

Tommy nodded, buttoning up his jacket and making his way downstairs. "Take Arthur and John down to the kitchen and I'll see the gentleman in the study." He explained to Mary, leaving her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Where's my money?" Tommy asked as the footsteps sounded behind him. He didn't move from the window, still watching, hopeful she might just appear.

"The dukes niece is bringing it from London." The thick foreign accent echoed around the room.

"I was told money on contact. Ten thousand in U.S. dollars." Tommy finally turned, now facing the tall older man who still stood in the doorway.

"My employer only trusts members of his family with cash. She'll be at Snow Hill Station at ten o clock." He stared down at him.

Tommy chuckled, glancing away "A woman, alone in Birmingham, with ten thousand dollars in cash."

"She also has a revolver."

"Oh I see…" Tommy turned back towards the man.

Tilting his head slightly, he narrowed his eyes, stepping slightly out of the shadowy door frame. "I thought you trusted women."

Tommy shook his head. "I don't trust Birmingham. I'll have her picked up."

"By who?"

"By the police, pal. This is our city." He dipped his head slightly before turning back to the window, indicating their conversation was now over. Taking the clear hint, the man turned and left, closing the door behind him. Glancing over at the clock, Tommy realised it was nearing ten o clock. He felt anger surging inside of him following the phone call he had received from Polly earlier on in the evening. Shaking his head, he pulled his coat and hat on and made his way down to the kitchen. "Lets go boys, gatehouse."

They stood in silence as they watched the car appear in front of them. The headlights bounced off their black coats, illuminating them in darkness. It stopped a few feet away from them and the door opened allowing Moss to appear from the drivers seat.

"May I introduce you to the Grand Duchess Tatiana Petrovna from Tbilisi, Georgia."

Watching the woman appear from the back seat, Tommy remained impassive as she approached him.

"Grand Duchess." Moss continued. "May I introduce you to the Shelby brothers, Small Heath, Birmingham. Good luck with this one Tom." He leaned toward Thomas before making his way out of the gate.

"Give me the money." Thomas wasted no time in getting down to business.

"I was told to give it to Mr Kaledin." She finally spoke. Her voice was soft but thick with her accent.

"Whoever it is up there, he gave the wrong name. We asked him the name and he gave the wrong one."

"What name did he give?" she questioned.

He shook his head. "No. I don't trust any of you. Now, you give me the money."

She clenched her hands in front of her. Her lavish fur coat pinned tightly to her body. "I know Mr Kaledin by sight from Tbilisi. Is his hair dark?"

Tommy was growing impatient. "The instructions I was given was anyone using the wrong code name was an infiltrator for the Soviet Embassy."

"Just let me go to the house." She was almost insistent.

"I do not want this shit anywhere near my fucking house." His voice raised. Cold air swept up in front of his face as he spoke. "All I know is no variations. That's from Churchill himself. Whoever is up at the house gave the wrong fucking name."

"The money is in the car Mr Shelby." She relented. "Fetch it out and count it."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Walking through the dark narrow streets, she reached her hand up to balance herself, gripping onto the cold brick. Snow crunched under her boots and she could feel the cold wind circle around her body, but she couldn't muster the strength to tighten her coat. Her hat was pulled down over her eyes, shielding her from her prying glances. Unable to continue, she pressed her back against the wall and felt herself slide down, dropping to the pavement. Her legs bent underneath her, and her hands dropped into her lap. She forced herself to ignore the judgemental glances that fell on her. How did her life end up this way? A year ago, she was living in a three-storey townhouse in uptown Manhattan, wanting for nothing. She had good food every day, a warm home, a comfortable bed, a husband, a family. And now? Nothing. She sat alone, on the freezing streets of London. She tried to force herself to stand and make the walk back to her hotel, but her energy was completely drained. Her skin had turned a deathly shade of grey and she felt as if all the life had been sucked out of her. Her hand fell to her stomach and she rubbed it protectively. Forcing herself back to her feet, she quickly rubbed her face, wiping the dry tears from her cheeks. She cursed herself for even considering that she would have been able to go through with it. Having turned up at the address given to her over the phone, she had done as much as to travel there and walk inside. But, the smell, the revolting conditions of the building, the thought of putting herself through this and possibly not coming out afterwards and how Tommy would feel if he found out she had gone through with it, was enough to force her to turn back. The sickness built up inside of her as she continued to walk through the winding streets, finally feeling relief as she arrived at the street of her hotel. Sighing, she made her way to the main door and pushed it open, feeling thankful for the sudden rush of heat as she arrived in the lobby. Ignoring the confused looks from the reception desk, she rushed towards the stair case, not stopping until she finally reached her door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pulling up outside the grand mansion, he turned off the engine and stepped outside. There were no lights on in the house apart from one room on the ground floor. Dusk was only starting to fall across the sprawling estate and he sighed as he started to make his way up the long path towards the main door. He could see this night far enough and he struggled to keep his mind on anything else other than Sara. It was almost April and he hadn't seen her for eight weeks. Having no idea where she was, was killing him. He had no idea if she was still in England or if she had chosen to head back to America, having ultimately decided she no longer wanted anything to do with him. He could kick himself for his attitude towards her over the paperwork. He still wasn't clear why she had the information on him and his family but, rather than allow her to explain, he had went in heavy handed as he usually did. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind, he knocked on the door, finally following the doorman who answered into the large dining room. His eyes quickly scanned the occupants, recognising them all apart from the older woman sitting at the top of the table.

The gentlemen stood as he approached the table. "Welcome Mr Shelby." The Archduke Leon Romanov welcomed him.

Placing his hands behind his back, Thomas stood behind the vacant chair situated beside Tatiana. "I believe you have met everyone apart from my wife." Romanov indicated to the woman sitting to his left. "Grand Duchess Izabella Petrovna."

Tommy nodded to her, taking his seat as instructed. His eyes fell on the priest sat across the table from him.

"Did you drive Mr Shelby." Tatiana's voice sounded beside him.

Without taking his eyes from the priest, he answered curtly. "Yes."

"They say you are an expert on cars." She stated.

"Yes, I am."

"I am curious, what was your fathers profession?" the Grand Duchess finally spoke.

"Well, he told fortunes and he stole horses." He answered matter of factly. "Often, he would tell a man that his horse would be stolen, and they would marvel at his powers when it was." He smirked, causing a slight reaction from the Grand Duchess. "I'm not here to eat." He stated after the brief prayer cited by the priest. "I'm here to do business, and what I have to say can be said before the main course and I will leave you all to your evening."

He continued to explain the operations plan and progress as the others ate their soup before finally taking his pen from his breast pocket and scribbling a note down on a napkin. "This is the amount of extra expense I believe I will incur for trucks and fuels. I trust you will respond in kind." He placed the napkin down in front of the Grand Duchess.

"But of course, Mr Shelby." She confirmed, reading the note. He nodded, indicating their mutual understanding. Getting to his feet, he put his pen away. "Before I go, I would like it known that I am unable to swallow food in the same room as this priest. Enjoy your evening."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Days later, Tommy made his way back to his home, feeling somewhat content at riding a horse once more. It has been a long time since he had done so, having been getting more and more used to cars over the last few years. Having ridden out into the woods with his brothers to reiterate the news that their father had died, he was surprised to arrive home and find the Grand Duchess sitting at his desk.

"I'm sorry I came unannounced." She spoke as he made his way across the room.

"What do you want?"

"We need proof."

Explaining the orders she was instructed to relay, she stayed sitting in his chair. "Will you not sit when a duchess sits?"

"I'm told you are part of the deal, is that true?" It pained him to ask. But having had no sight of Sara in weeks, he was more than convinced she wouldn't be coming back. Looking over at the woman in front of him, a year ago, he wouldn't have thought twice about bedding her for his own personal gain, but now, his conscious was toying with him. He knew he would likely need to go ahead with it if he was to keep her onside.

She got to her feet. "The Royal Count in Tbilisi actually worked very efficiently. There were lots of corridors and small rooms. Attics. There were no rules there. Deals were done. Brothers gave sisters, Aunts gave Uncles, Fathers gave Daughters and servants. It was my aunt's idea that I came alone." She poured a drink, taking it over to him. "She's in charge of this. When there are no rules, women take charge. They understand that the power they have come through silent agreements. I've promised I will do everything I can to make this plan work. My aunt assumed you would want me as part of the deal. I will tell her she's wrong." She sat down on the luxurious red sofa, lifting her feet up in front of her. She had stroked his face gently as she spoke and the touch was almost foreign to him. It was the first time another woman had touched him since Sara had left. He thought back to the last time she had touched him. It had been the morning she had left and he had woken up at 5am as he usually did. Normally, he would crawl out of bed, leaving her wrapped up in the sheets, sleeping soundly. But this time, she had been awake, gazing wistfully up at him, gently running her fingertips along his jawline. Tommy was quickly pulled back to the reality of the situation as the door to his office swung open.

"Tommy, you ain't gonna believe this, man. I've just phoned the Garrison right? I've just spoken to Billy, he says Polly, Esme and Lizzie have gone on fuckin' strike!"

"They what?" A smile crept up onto Tommy's face in somewhat disbelief as to what he was hearing.

"They've gone on fucking strike. Half of Birmingham's out. The female half. They're all out. Every single one of them. Quakers put 'em up to it."

"Who's watching the shop?" Tommy put the glass to his mouth, taking a drink as he gazed over at the duchess who was still sitting on the couch, seductively playing with her stockings, teasing the hell out of him.

"Polly's locked it up."

"See, Good Friday is one of our best days for takings. All the men get drunk. The races are all fixed. It's like picking apples off the lowest branches, eh, John?"

Finally dropping his eyes onto the woman in the room, John's bravado quickly disappeared. "mm yeah. You know Billy said that Polly jumped in the fucking bullring. She's pissed out of her mind, started going on about the revolution, screaming to the rooftops."

"Was Linda with them?"

"Yeah."

"Then it was Linda's idea. Linda's a smart woman."

John turned his body away from Tommy as footsteps indicated the woman had stood from the sofa. Now standing across from Tommy, she had her arms folded across her body.

"John." Tommy spoke. "There's a Bentley in the drive outside. I want you to go out and put a nail in its tyre. Its Good Friday so there'll be no garages open. The lady will have to spend the night. Then I want you and the boys to all go home."

Realisation set in with John as he understood what Tommy was asking of him. "You want me to put a nail?"

"Yeah. You heard me."

"But Tommy, what about…?"

"What? What about what?"

John lowered his voice, moving his head closer to Tommy. "What about Sara?"

"Do you see her here?" Tommy dropped his eyes from the duchess to his brother. "She's hasn't come home, so my guess is, she doesn't want to come home. Now, John, I have business to take care of so please, do as I ask."

John dropped his head and nodded, somewhat irritated by his brothers cold response. He had taken to thinking of Sara as a sister and during the few months they had known each other, they had become close. Polly had told him the reason for Sara's disappearance and he had felt confused at the information she had gathered on them, but his anger hadn't reached the same levels of Tommy's and he struggled to understand the rage he had placed on her. He was the reason she had gone and it angered him no end. And now, to see him potentially throw it all away, enraged him even more. But yet, he kept his mouth closed and did as he was asked. "Nice to meet you." He mumbled as he walked out the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She yet again walked the dark streets of Small Heath. The roads had become familiar to her now and despite her prolonged absence, the people continued to nod to her as she walked past them, still under the impression she was part of the Peaky Blinders. She made her way along Watery Lane, only stopping as she finally reached number six. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. After what felt like an eternity, the door finally swung open and Sara sighed with somewhat amusement as Polly appeared, dishevelled and unkempt, her eyes still almost closed.

"Do you have any idea what fuckin' time it is?" She raged.

"My apologies Polly. I forgot it was so early."

Her eyes flew open at the distinctive accent and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of the young woman in front of her.

"Sara! Child, what are you doing here?" She opened the door wide and gripped onto Sara's arm, tugging her into the living room, closing the door behind them. "Where have you been? Come and sit down, here, let me take your coat."

Before she could protest, Polly pulled the coat from her body. "Now, where have you been?" Her eyes fell from her face down to the distinctive swell which had since appeared on her stomach. Polly's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly. "Sara…."

Sara sat down on the couch, wrapping her arms protectively around her stomach. "I'm sure you can appreciate Polly, its imperative that I speak with Thomas. Do you know where he is?"

"He'll be at the house Sara." Polly's voice softened. "You know, the house he bought for you both."

Sara's eyes dropped to her hands and guilt crept over her. "I understand it wasn't right that I left. I apologise."

"You ain't got to apologise to me luv." Polly smiled. "Tommy told me what happened. Tell me, why did you have all those papers?"

"When I was in New York, my heart and my head were telling me different things. I wanted to believe that Tommy was right for me, that I should come back to him but my head was telling me differently. Telling me I'd only end up getting hurt. I had to find out more. I had an inkling about what he was involved in, but I needed to know everything. I knew he wouldn't tell me. So, I did what I thought I had to do. I should have thrown it all away when I came back. I just forgot. I put it in a box and forgot about it."

"I figured as much. Told Thomas he'd over reacted, but you know what he's like. Now, there seems to be more pressing matters we need to discuss. And I can tell ya, there ain't no hiding this from him." Polly nodded towards her stomach.

"I know. I need to find him this morning, before I run into anyone else and he finds out third hand. Where is the house Polly?"

Polly got to her feet and made her way over to the telephone. Picking it up, she quickly dialled a number. "It's Polly. I need the car." Placing the handset back in the receiver, she walked back to Sara and held her hand out to her. Sara took it and go to her feet. "You need to go and see Tommy. Moss will take you." Placing a hand on the small bump, Polly smiled. "He'll be thrilled luv, and you can all finally be a family. Just as you should be. Go and make up."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her breath caught in her throat at the extensive estate which was set out in front of her. Moss had stopped at the gatehouse as she had asked. She wanted to experience the walk up the long driveway. Taking her steps carefully, she glanced around the grounds, feeling somewhat contentment at the feeling of being home. Her eyes drifted over the countless windows up in front of her, wondering which one would have been there's. She found herself pondering whether Tommy was currently standing at one of those windows. She couldn't see anything but yet, she was still some distance away. Hearing the front door close up ahead of her, her eyes fell down to the attractive woman exiting. She watched her as she made her way towards Tommy's car. A familiar feeling of dread crept over her as the woman adjusted her coat before setting herself down in the drivers seat. Switching on the ignition, she pulled the car up the driveway, slowing as she approached Sara. Tatiana's eyes glanced over the blonde standing in the drive way but chose not to hang around to find out who she was. Instead, she pushed her foot onto the accelerator and disappeared up the driveway. Sara swallowed hard as she tried to process what she was seeing. As far as she knew, Tommy was living in the house alone. For what reason would an attractive woman be leaving his home at dawn, other than for the obvious one. It seemed Tommy was getting over her. Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind, she knew she had to see him, regardless of what she had just seen. As she reached the front door, she lifted her hand to knock, but stopped herself. _This is my home._ She thought. Pushing open the door, she stepped inside. Taken aback at her surroundings, she gasped. The entrance hall was grand in both scale and décor but if she was honest with herself, it wasn't quite decorated to her tastes. She felt as though it could do with a woman's touch. She smiled to herself. Tommy had tried his best and no doubt, it suited him. She heard a door suddenly open to her right and instinctively, she walked towards the sound.

"There will be two of us for breakfast this morning, Mary. She's gone for a walk by the river."

Moving closer to the door, her heart leapt into her throat as she heard Tommy's voice. She had missed that sound but still, her heart ached at the thought of him talking that way about any other woman than her.

"The lady left, sir." Another voice, who she presumed to be the maid, answered.

"Left? How?" he demanded.

"She took your car. She was in a terrible hurry. She said she had your permission. She told David to go down to the garage and get a new tyre for the Bentley. She said you could use that."

"And why the hell would you listen to her eh?"

"The way she said it, sir."

Taking a deep breath, Sara argued with herself. Should she make her presence known? Tell him she was there? Tell him the truth? Could she go through with this, now knowing, it was likely he had spent the night with someone else? How many others had there been? Had he gone back to Lizzie after she left? The pain rose within her body as she thought of that very possibility. This woman she didn't know, she could just about deal with but the thought of him going back to Lizzie was just too much. Or she could turn around, leave the house, run and never come back.

 **A/N - apologies for not being able to update quite as quickly as I would like. Work has been crazy! But extra long chapter this time! I decided to follow part of the storyline from season 3. You'll note though that this takes places about a year before it does in the show but other than that, everything else is the same. (obviously minus Grace) I hope you are still enjoying this and as always, I really wanna know what you think so please hit that review button! thank you!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Lifting the cup from the table, he took a long drink of tea, tensing his jaw as the hot liquid scalded the inside of his mouth. Lifting the cloche, he eyed up the breakfast set in front of him.

"That's fine Mary, thank you." He dismissed her, ignoring his breakfast and reaching forward to lift his packet of cigarettes. He lit one absentmindedly as Mary exited the large dining room.

"Oh excuse me. Can I help you miss?"

The sound of Mary's voice outside the door set him on edge instantly, thinking Tatiana had returned. Tommy lifted his head and quickly got to his feet, taking long strides towards the door. He picked up his pace as the visitors voice sounded. He recognised it immediately.

"Sara?" Tommy hauled open the door, his breath catching in his throat as his eyes fell over her. They stood in silence for what seemed like forever before Mary's voice finally broke the quiet.

"Do you need anything else, Sir?"

Tommy's eyes never left Sara as he responded. "No, that'll be all Mary."

Her eyes flicked between the two standing in front of her. She had only worked for Mr Shelby for a short time, but she had been made aware that he was supposed to be arriving at the house with a woman, however, up until the previous evening, no woman had ever materialised. Despite the fact she had never met any of her bosses' dalliances, she couldn't imagine him settling down with the brash Russian she had encountered. Her behaviour the night before was nothing short of embarrassing. This woman standing here seemed the complete opposite. She was quiet and unassuming and as she watched the two of them together, she could only assume she was the one who should have joined him.

"Very good, Sir" She took her leave and disappeared up the staircase to start her cleaning.

Silence surrounded them again, and Tommy could feel the tension build up between them. "When did you get back?" he finally asked.

"Last night." She was abrupt and offered him no further information as to her whereabouts over the last few weeks.

"Are you hungry?" he offered, clutching at straws. He wasn't sure what her being here meant. Had she forgiven him for how he reacted? Was she back for good? Or was she here to put him out of his misery and end things for good between them? Sara shook her head, pulling her coat tighter to her body. Despite the fact the house wasn't cold, it acted as a barrier between them and offered her some kind of shield against what was hiding underneath. Thomas shuffled his feet as she refused to speak. Never before had he felt so anxious and it wasn't like him to be short of something to say but she made him nervous. He suddenly wasn't sure how to act with her.

"I came here to try and sort things out, but I see you appear to have already managed that." There was repugnance in her voice and the sound of it made Tommy's heart skip. He couldn't deny it, he had absolutely no come back and the hurt in her eyes destroyed him.

"Please." He held out his hand to her. "Let me explain."

She stared at his outstretched fingertips for a few seconds, toying with her emotions and trying to weigh up the outcomes dependant on her impending choice. Thinking briefly over the reasons why she came, she knew that despite witnessing the strange woman leaving Tommy's home so early in the morning, she wanted to hear him out. They both said and did things they likely regretted, but her heart knew what it wanted. With a brief sigh, she placed her small hand in his and he clasped his fingers around it, gently pulling her towards him. Her body tensed as he brought her closer to him and her surroundings quickly hazed as his familiar scent engulfed her.

"Come on." He turned and led her along the long corridor until he finally reached the sitting room at the end of the house. A brief smile hitched on his lips as the heat from the already lit fire radiated around the room. "This is the main sitting room." He told her, dropping her hand as he opened the door wider for her to enter. He couldn't deny it felt odd, explaining the rooms to her. This was supposed to be her house. She should know where each room was, but yet, she looked lost within the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Its very nice." She was non-committal and hadn't made any moves to enter the room. She watched him intently, finally taking a step inside as he moved towards the couch.

"Please, Sara." Thomas loosened the top button of his shirt. "Come and sit down. Can I get you anything? A drink?"

She shook her head but accepted his invitation and sat down, still not removing her coat. Her eyes darted around the spacious room. She had to admit, it was beautiful, and she imagined she would have spent a lot of time in here reading. The large windows let in plenty of natural light and she found the overall ambience of the room incredibly peaceful. She envisaged what it would be like if she had been living there with Thomas and how she could have sat in the nearby armchair nursing their baby. She imagined Thomas playing with them on the rug, in front of the fireplace or reading to them by the large bay window.

"Sara?" Thomas' voice broke into her vivid imagination and her eyes darted towards him. Concern was etched on his face and his eyes were narrowed towards her. "Are you alright?"

"Who is she?"

Straight to the point. Normally, Sara's tenacity was incredibly attractive to him, but now, being on the receiving end of her brutality was unpleasant. "She's no one important. A business deal. That's all."

Sara nodded. "And is this business deal likely to continue?"

He paused, considering his response. "The deal will continue. I've been commissioned by Churchill to carry out some international relations with our acquaintances in Russia. She was part of that deal. A sweetener shall we say. She no longer needs to be."

Sara pursed her lips and briefly nodded.

"She doesn't mean anything to me. It was purely business." Tommy continued. He took the small window of opportunity and sat down beside her, reaching across until his hand rested upon hers. "Are you home?"

"I don't know where home is any longer, Thomas." She admitted. Her loosely curled hair hung wildly around her face and her green eyes were dull with stress and anxiety. He had to admit, it felt disconcerting whenever she called him by his proper name, almost as though they were strangers again. Her admission was difficult for him to swallow. This was her home. Couldn't she see that? He had bought it with the intention of living there with her. He knew he wanted her to become his wife, and had to admit, he had imagined what it would be like to have young Shelby's running around. It was an odd feeling for him. He had never been in the position where he had ever considered starting a family with someone. It was a novelty and he had waited for it to pass, but the feeling had never left him. He had found himself wandering around the house for hours trying to imagine them living there together. He was so sure of what bedroom would be theirs that he refused to take the Grand Duchess there the previous evening, choosing to sleep in one of the smaller guest rooms. Even when he was alone, he refused to sleep in the bedroom he had chosen for them. It didn't seem right, and he promised himself that the only time that bed would ever be slept in, would be when Sara was there with him. He gripped her hand tightly and slid his body closer to her. "You are home, luv."

"I've been in London. I've been staying in a hotel. I apologise for having that information Tommy. I shouldn't have had it." She began to explain. "When I was in New York, I was so confused. Confused about my feelings for you. About my feelings for James. About where I belonged. I told you in my letters that I had thought about flipping a coin, like you said you did. I didn't know what I should do. Part of me knew I wanted to come back to you, but, I had to know what I was getting into. You weren't exactly forthcoming in the beginning. That was the only reason why I went to the investigator. It wasn't for any malicious reason."

He nodded, stroking her hand gently. "I know Sara, I know. You don't need to explain anything. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I apologise."

She glanced up at him, looking up at him from underneath her lashes. She had never heard Thomas apologising for anything before, so she could only imagine it was difficult for him to do. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Before you do…" Tommy got to his feet, still gripping her hand. He pulled her gently along with him, resting his hands on her shoulders "Please, tell me you're home, for good."

She smiled, placing her other hand on his chest, her fingers gently traced the outline of his pectoral muscles. "If you'll have me."

Tommy wrapped her up in his arms, pulling her close to him, laughter exuding from him. She giggled at his boyish behaviour. It was so out of character for him to be so buoyant and jovial and she relished in the sound of his laughter. He pulled her even tighter to his body, savouring the smell and touch of her. He had missed this and when he considered his previous relationships with Grace, he couldn't deny the difference he found in his feelings for her. She was easy to love. He trusted her and the fact she had settled so easily into his family was a bonus. "Come on, I want to show you around. All your things are upstairs. I'll show you the house then you can get settled in."

Sara tugged on his hand, pulling him back down onto the couch. She was reluctant to ruin his fun as he was like a little boy on Christmas Day, but she knew before they could even consider getting back to normal, she had to be honest with him. It was incredibly difficult for her coming back, and more so to find that he had spent the night with another woman. But she believed him that he wouldn't jeopardise their future together. "Tommy, before we do anything, I need to speak to you. There's something you need to know. Please, sit back down."

He did as she asked, the laughter now stopped, and his familiar cool exterior was planted back on his face. She suddenly felt nervous and bile started to rise up in her throat. She was incredibly thankful that she hadn't been too bothered with sickness, experiencing only a few days of it in the last couple of weeks but now, she felt as though her stomach was ready to empty right there. "When I was in London, I had to visit a doctor."

"Why?" He suddenly asked. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine." She confirmed. "But, I hadn't been feeling right so I went to the doctor and he found something."

Tommy's hand grasped her tightly, worry etched on his face. "What did they find?"

"Something that would tie me to the Shelby family forever, Tommy." Her eyes dropped to their hands, still clasped together. She couldn't look at him, but she sensed his body tighten. The thumb which had previously been stroking the back of her hand had suddenly stopped "I didn't know what to do." She continued quickly, not allowing him to speak. "I made a call. I didn't think I could come back here. I went to see someone who…dealt with these situations."

Tommy's eyes widened in horror. His stomach wretched in agony and numerous emotions flew through his body.

"What?!" he demanded, jumping to his feet. He paced the room back and forth, his hands rubbing furiously at his temples. Her features softened as she read his expression, knowing that telling him the whole story would drive a true reaction from him. She could see that the thought of her terminating their child was never an option for him, and never had she felt more relief than she did now. Sara got to her feet and lifted her hands to the buttons of her coat. He had now stopped in front of her, watching her intently, allowing his eyes to follow the movement of her fingertips as they carefully released the small buttons, finally allowing him sight onto her now exposed middle. Smiling softly, she took a few cautious steps towards him, before finally reaching forward and lifting his hand. Closing her eyes, she placed her lips against his rough fingertips before placing his palm gently upon the small bump which up until now, had remained hidden. Dumbfounded, he pushed Sara's coat from her shoulders and threw it over the couch, exposing her blue dress which hung tightly around her slender frame. Amazed, Tommy turned her slightly to the side, his eyes finally landing on the swell of her belly. He fell to his knees and placed his hands gently on her sides, running them softly across her stomach. "My baby is in there?" he whispered, looking up at her. Her eyes prickled with tears as she watched him. She was amazed to see this softer side of him, and yet she knew, deep down, it wouldn't last. This side of Tommy would be reserved for her and her only. As soon as he stepped outside, he would become Thomas Shelby, Leader of the Peaky Blinders. A man to be feared. A man who killed. A man who stole. But here, safe within their sanctuary, he would be this man. A man who was currently on bended knee in front of her, cradling her stomach and kissing and whispering to their unborn baby. She wished she could pause time at this very moment yet, she knew it wasn't possible and all she could do was savour this moment while it lasted. Finally, she was home.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was early morning and the sun had only begun to rise about the horizon, soaking Small Health in warm, inviting colours. The cold winter was finally starting to disappear as March quickly approached. Lizzie sat at her desk, pouring over the books, desperate to keep her mind busy. She was finding it incredibly difficult to concentrate as Tommy paced back and forth a few feet away from her in his office. He was dressed informally with his coat and jacket slung over one of the many chairs in his office. His shirt was loosely buttoned and stopped half way up his chest, leaving a teasing glimpse of the pale skin underneath it. Dependant on the way he turned, she could almost see his tattoo peeking out. His trousers hung loose on his hips as his suspenders swayed around his legs. He had been there since Lizzie had arrived and she didn't doubt he had likely been there all night. She wasn't quite sure what that meant, given she had already heard the news from Polly and Esme that Sara had made quite the triumphant return to Birmingham a week earlier. She had yet to see her at the office, but Tommy insisted she was taking care of some business at home for him. It angered Lizzie to hear about him referring to their home and their life together. He regularly spoke of Sara and she could see the light in his eyes as she crossed his mind and she couldn't help but feel jealous. There was a time in her life that she finally thought it would be her. When Tommy had offered her the job and demanded she stopped her additional work, she thought he had finally come to his senses and wanted to make a go of things with her, but it never happened. Each time she felt him getting close, something always came up and then, this woman appeared, and things had never quite been the same. He had never come near her in almost a year and she couldn't help but feel her body ache for him whenever he was near her. She missed his touch, his smell, his taste.

"Lizzie, I don't pay you to daydream." Tommy's deep voice bellowed from the nearby office.

Coming back to the present with a jump, Lizzie lifted her pen and continued writing. "Sorry Mr Shelby."

"Tommy?"

Lizzie's eyes rolled as the familiar American accent circulated the room. She watched Tommy intently as he suddenly rushed out of his office. "Sara?" he called to her. She appeared in the centre of the room, her presence almost bringing additional light in with her. It was the first time Lizzie had seen her in weeks.

"Sara? What are you doing here? You should be at home, resting." Tommy walked towards her, placing her arm around her shoulder.

"I can't sit there doing nothing much longer. I'll go stir crazy. Mary won't let me help with any housework. You won't let me go riding. There's only so many books I can read." She teased. "I just had to get out, so I thought I would come here and try and make myself useful."

It hadn't gone unnoticed by Lizzie that Sara had ignored her since she had appeared. It had been quite some time since their altercation outside the Garrison and since that, no words had passed between them. She discreetly looked Sara up and down as Tommy moved behind her, slowly pulling her coat from her shoulders and hanging it up.

"You really should be resting Sara." Tommy lectured. "Come on, sit down in here. How did you get here?"

"Tommy, please don't treat me as though I'm going to break. Moss brought me." Sara shook her head at him, as she made her way around to the back of his desk. She sat down in his large leather chair and lifted his cigarette packet from the table, lighting one and pressing it to her lips.

Lizzie huffed as she got to her feet, making her way towards one of the large cupboards at the side of the office. She was struggling to control her emotions as she listened to the two of them fussing over each other. Pulling the relevant papers from the drawer, she started to make her way back to her desk, lifting her head up as she heard the main door open. She rolled her eyes as John and Arthur noisily made their way inside.

"Hey Lizzie, what's new?" John rolled his cigar around his fingertips.

Lizzie shook her head. "Nothing much John. Just trying not to vomit at the sounds of loves young dream through there." She indicated to Tommy's office.

"Sara's here?" Arthur bellowed.

Suddenly the door flew open and Tommy appeared with Sara following behind him. "Arthur. John." He greeted them.

"Tom." Arthur grinned, eyeing up the woman behind his brother. "And there she is! How is my little niece or nephew doing?"

Lizzie's head lifted as she watched Arthur pace towards Sara, his hands reaching out towards her. Sickness started to rise up in her throat as Arthur bent down, tenderly rubbing Sara's stomach. Only now, did Lizzie finally spot that her stomach was no longer as flat as it had been previously.

"You know I'm going to be your favourite Uncle, little one." He whispered.

"Aye right Arthur." John teased. "You're more likely going to be the embarrassing Uncle. You know I'll be the favourite."

"You're pregnant?" Lizzie's voice broke into the family moment, causing them all to turn to face her.

Sara nodded softly. "About twelve weeks." She couldn't deny she could see the shock and contempt on Lizzie's face, but being aware of her history with Tommy, she wasn't overly surprised. Although she had to admit, regularly, she caught her staring longingly after him and it killed her, but she had to reason with herself, she never once seen Tommy looking back at her with anything other than irritation.

"Congratulations." She exclaimed through gritted teeth, making her way back to her desk and attempting to get on with her work, anything at all that could distract her.

"Thank you." Sara whispered, her eyes flying up to Tommy who wasn't even giving her a

second thought. "Tommy, I'm going to go for a walk."

"Do you want John or Arthur to go with you?" He offered.

Sara shook her head, walking back to the coat stand. She lifted her coat and pulled it on, tightening it around her waist. "I'll be fine. Honestly, you need to stop worrying."

"Alright. Well promise me you'll be back here in an hour. Then I'll take you home." Tommy lifted his arm and wrapped it around her, pulling her close to him. She nodded, kissing his cheek. She pulled herself away from him and made her way to the door, leaving the three brothers behind. Stepping into the cool air, she pulled her gloves from her pocket and slid her fingers into them. Looking around, she wasn't too sure where she was going to go but found herself walking towards the river. Walking along the cobbled streets, she was intrigued to see, that despite being away from Small Heath for some time, the residents of this town were still well aware of her identity. They kept their heads down as they passed by her, despite Sara's attempts to make eye contact with them. She didn't want to be seen as a Peaky Blinder, someone to be scared of. She wanted to get to know these people but she knew Thomas would never allow it. Walking along the street, she found herself standing outside a large church. Looking up, she was surprised to see such a stunning building in the derelict area. It stood out like a sore thumb against its backdrop. Intrigued, she walked towards the large wooden door and before she knew was she was doing, she pushed it open. The room was cold and she shivered as she entered. Walking towards the pews, she placed her fingertips in the holy water, blessing herself as she made her way towards the front.

"Good afternoon." The priest at the front looked up at her, startled at her presence.

Sara smiled at the welcoming man. "Is confession available?"

He nodded and signalled to the booth at the side. Walking towards him, she followed his pointed finger and made her way there, sitting down on the small bench. She tensed as the door next to her opened and the priest spoke.

"How can I help, my child?"

Letting out a deep breath, Sara quickly made the sign of the cross before speaking. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." She began. "It has been about four months since my last confession."

The priest waited, only prompting her when the silence continued. "A few weeks ago, I found out I was having a baby."

"A true blessing." The priest confirmed.

Sara nodded to herself. "I realise that now. But to begin with, I wasn't so sure. You see, I am not married. The man….well…he is dangerous. To others. Not to me. To me, he is kind and loving. But, we had a serious disagreement and I left. Afterwards, I found out I was pregnant. I considered…."

"You considered…what?" he asked, carefully.

"I didn't think he would want me. I thought about getting rid of it." She answered bluntly. "Forgive me, Father. I know now that Thomas is there for me. He is happy about the baby. I don't know why I ever thought he wouldn't be. But I can't shake the guilt that I even considered it."

"I see. And are you happy with the situation now?" the priest asked.

"I am. More than happy. I can't believe it ever crossed my mind." She was being completely honest and having confessed to the priest, she automatically felt better. After receiving penance, Sara got to her feet and started to make her way towards the pews. The door to the confession box opened behind her and the priest made his way out, following behind her. Deciding she best get back to Tommy, Sara began to make her way towards the door when a sharp feeling of dizziness came over her. Stumbling on her feet, she gripped onto the pew to keep her balance.

"Are you alright?" The priests voice seemed miles away but he was right beside her, holding her by the arms and helping her in to the pew to sit. "Wait here, I'll get you a drink."

Sara nodded, rubbing her head gently. She had had bouts of dizziness before but they usually passed after a few minutes. She finally opened her eyes as the priest appeared back in front of her.

"Here you go." He handed her the glass which she gratefully took, resting it to her lips and taking a drink

"I apologise for making a fuss."

He shook his head. "Not at all. Your body is telling you to take it easy. That little one in there knows best." He explained, pointing down to her stomach.

She smiled and looked back up at him. Finally allowing herself to take in his appearance. He was quite tall and slender with short dark hair, combed over in a deep side parting. She noticed he was starting to go grey around the tops of his ears. Finally feeling better, Sara finished the rest of the water and got to her feet.

"Thank you Father, but I really should be going. Tommy will be worried."

He nodded, moving out of her way so she could exit the pew. "Take care. Look after that little blessing from God."

She smiled and made her way outside, suddenly conscious of the time. The priest watched her leave as another appeared beside him.

"Who was that Father Hughes?"

"That was a close, personal friend of a very special acquaintance of mine." He stated, not taking his eyes off the door. "But don't worry, I dealt with her appropriately. I gave her a very special drink."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

The nights were still drawing in quickly. Thomas Shelby paced the long hallway, desperately wanting to follow the sound of the groans that were originating from his bedroom. It was difficult not to go running in its direction, but he knew he would quickly be scolded by the Doctor. His heart ripped in half as he heard Sara's agony and torment and he frantically wanted to go to her.

"Sir, can I get you a drink?"

Mary appeared at the top of the staircase with a tray, holding a brandy glass and bottle. It was already poured as Tommy lifted it and threw it down his neck. Mary set the tray down on the nearby table and lifted the bottle, taking timid steps towards her boss, offering to top up his glass. He held it out, finding himself grateful for the brief company. He found himself dropping onto one of the nearby armchairs, liquid flowing over the top of the glass and onto the floor. Mary quickly dropped to her knees, pulling the towel from her apron tie and started to clean up the mess.

"God dammit Mary, just leave it." He bellowed, causing her to jump to her feet.

"I….I….I apolo…." She stuttered, barely able to get the words out. Her eyes were wide with fear. In the three months she had worked for Thomas Shelby, he had never raised his voice at her. She had never given him reason to.

"No…Mary, I'm sorry." Tommy got to his feet and rushed over to her, grasping her arm. "I shouldn't have yelled. It's not your fault. I'm just…."

Mary's eyes softened. She knew the strain he was under and she had been eager not to cause him any further pain. "I understand Mr Shelby. I'll just go and clear up downstairs."

Tommy nodded at her and watched her as she disappeared downstairs, passing Arthur as she went.

"How is she?" Arthur walked over to his brother, his voice soft with concern. Tommy had taken his seat again and finished the rest of the brandy in his glass. Watching him intently, Arthur took the seat beside him, lifting the bottle from the tray and taking a swig directly from the neck. Tommy didn't answer, he merely dropped his elbows onto his knees, his head bowed. Looking over him, Arthur could tell it had been a stressful 48 hours. He had received a call from Polly the day before informing him of the situation and he knew how badly Tommy would take the news. His eyes washed over his younger brother's unkempt appearance. He hadn't shaved and was still wearing the same clothes he had been when they had last been together in the den two days previous. "Tom?"

Finally looking up at his brother, Tommy sighed. His eyes were blank and unfocused. "I don't know. They won't let me see her."

"What happened? Pol was a bit vague on the phone." He asked.

"It was Tuesday night. Remember, you seen her? She went out for a walk and I asked her to meet me back at the office after an hour. She came back and seemed fine. We came home, had dinner and then later on, she started complaining about stomach cramps." Tommy shook his head. "I had no idea what to do so I phoned Pol. She told me to get her into bed and keep her warm. A few hours later, she told me the pain was starting to ease, so I felt I could finally relax. We went to bed, but she woke up through the night almost screaming the house down. Arthur, I'll never forget that look on her face. It was torturous. She was gripping tight onto her stomach. I tried to get her up and it was then I noticed the blood."

Arthur watched as Tommy's head fell into his hands, the glass he had been holding, tumbling and smashing on the floor. "The doctor won't tell me anything yet until he's done more tests, but I know what's happening. I knew it was too good to be true. The very thought that I could even have a family of my own, its ludicrous. I don't deserve it."

"Tom, I've never known you to feel sorry for yaself." Arthur placed his hand on his shoulder. "If that's what's happened, you'll get through it. It will happen for ya, yous can try again."

He shrugged, defeatedly. "What if she doesn't want to? You know she was thinking about getting rid of it?"

Arthurs eyes widened. "What?"

"Yeah, when she found out. We weren't together then. She contemplated it. Even went to see someone, but she couldn't go through with it." He admitted.

"Well, cut her some slack Tommy. Can't imagine that'd been easy for her. But she loves ya, I can see it. She was excited about this, she'll want to try again." He patted Tommy on the shoulder, only lifting his head as the bedroom door slowly opened. Tommy got immediately to his feet, pacing straight towards the doctor who had now appeared.

"Mr Shelby."

"How is she? Can I see her?" Tommy demanded.

"You can see her." Tommy went to step past him and open the door, just as the doctor caught his arm. "Mr Shelby, I should warn you. Ms Miller is extremely weak at the moment. She is very pale and tired. You should know, the baby is gone. I am incredibly sorry. She is not in a good way at the moment. All you can do is be there for her. It will take time, she will heal, and I can't see any reason why she won't be able to conceive again in the future."

Tommy nodded, listening to the doctor. He felt as though he was floating, as though having an out of body experience. He watched the doctors lips move but he was struggling to take in the words. _His baby. Gone._ He knew deep down he didn't deserve to have his own family. It just wasn't meant for him. God didn't reward crooks with family and love. He sought revenge on them by inflicting pain and sorrow. He was only sorry that Sara had to be the one to go through it with him. He felt a hand appear on his shoulder and only then did he somehow come back down to earth.

"Go and see her Tom."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hours quickly turned into days and days turned into weeks before Sara finally set foot outside. She insisted Tommy went to work and once she heard his car drive off, she finally dragged herself from the bedroom which had served as her prison for the last few weeks. Feeling completely numb, she had been unable to force herself to leave the safety of the four walls. Here, no one could give her pitying looks. No one could question how she was feeling or give her their sympathies. But yet, she knew deep down, eventually she would need to face the world, as difficult as it may have been. Getting to her feet, she shifted behind the headboard to the large bay window which looked out over the front courtyard. Tommy's car had almost disappeared from view by the time she had reached it. Satisfied he was gone and therefore unable to fuss over her, she made her way over to the wardrobe and selected a pale green dress. Spring had finally reached them, which felt strange, given the last time she had set foot outside, winter was still in the air. The sun shone through the glass and lit up the entire room, leaving no dark corners. Tiptoeing to the door, she carefully opened it, glancing up and down the hallway before finally stepping onto the soft red carpet. Quietly, she made her way down to the large bathroom, suddenly feeling desperate for a bath.

"Miss!"

Sara spun on her heel as the voice startled her, coming face to face with Mary.

"Are you alright Miss? Mr Shelby said not to disturb you."

"I'm fine Mary. I just want to wash. I was going to make up a bath." Sara turned back around and started walking again.

"How about I do that for you? Would you like something to eat? I can run your bath whilst you eat." Mary pleaded. Her heart went out to the poor girl in front of her. She hadn't had much time to speak with her since her arrival a few weeks earlier, yet she caught the way her boss looked at this woman regularly. The love deep in his eyes was clear and she could see how broken he currently was. She wanted to do more but stopped herself, for fear of crossing some arbitrary line. And now, coming face to face with the young woman who had clearly stolen his heart, she felt the same loyalty to her. She was gaunt in the face and too skinny for her small frame, looking almost emaciated. She had to get her strength back up and soon before it crippled her.

Sara stopped again. Her hand flew to her stomach, but this time, not for the reason it had done previously. Her stomach grumbled loudly and she knew she would need to eat eventually. Up until now, the emptiness she felt would never allow her to pass any kind of food past her lips. "Actually Mary, some breakfast would be lovely." She turned back to the housekeeper and started walking in her direction, following her down the staircase. They finally arrived in the dining room where she took a seat. Mary disappeared for a few minutes before appearing back with a tray laden with food.

"I wasn't sure what you would like. But I thought, any food is better than no food at all." Mary smiled at her, placing the tray down in front of her. She poured some freshly brewed tea into the china cup and set the teapot down. Mary began to take her leave when Sara suddenly spoke up.

"Would you mind staying with me? I could use the company." In the past, Sara had been fond of her servants. She thought back to her maid Elsie and how she had helped on several occasions following James' outbursts. After James' death, she'd had no option but to let her go. Something which pained her still. Looking surprised, Mary nodded her head and stood at the top of the table. "Please sit down."

Slightly taken aback, Mary stuttered with what to do. Protocol dictated she would not dine alongside the masters of the household but at the same time, she wasn't to defy them either. Sensing the woman gave little concern about etiquette, Mary pulled out a chair and sat down. "I hope you don't see me as speaking out of turn Miss, but Mr Shelby is extremely worried about you. I haven't seen him like this before."

Saying nothing, Sara simply nodded, pushing her scrambled eggs across her plate with the fork. Finally admitting defeat as the sweet aroma assaulted her senses, she took a small bite. The taste was divine. Suddenly feeling famished, she quickly finished everything on her plate, only stopping once it was clear. Feeling satiated, she lifted up the cup and took a long drink. "Never in my life have I felt so lost and confused Mary. I can't understand it. One day, I'm feeling absolutely fine and the next, everything is taken from me in an instant."

"Not everything my dear. You have a man who loves you. He is there to help you through this. If its not inappropriate for me to say, I have a brief idea of what you're dealing with." She admitted.

Sara looked up at her, her eyebrow slightly arched. "You do?"

Mary nodded. "My daughter. My eldest. She lost a baby in childbirth. We almost lost her too but thankfully she survived. We thought she would never get over it. But eventually, she did. She won't ever forget that little baby, but time is a great healer. Her husband is a good man and he looked after her. He brought her back to us and in time, they had their family. Three healthy children. God works in mysterious ways. He sometimes gives you the bad, just so you fully appreciate the good."

"Am I being punished Mary?" Sara asked.

"What ever do you mean?"

Sara sighed, taking another drink of tea. "I considered getting rid of it. Do you think God is punishing me for even considering committing such a mortal sin?"

"You didn't go through with it my dear. We all have moments of weakness, but you fought through it. I can't explain why this happened to you, but I do know that you my dear, are destined for a family. I can just tell. And this time, you won't have any doubts. You'll know that its right." Mary gave her a brief smile. "Now, you finish your tea and I'll go and draw you a bath."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Arriving home that evening, Tommy was surprised to go to the bedroom and find the room had been completely cleaned. The sheets had been changed and the room was bright and airy, a complete change from how he had left it. He felt as though demons had been exorcised and the air the room had completely lifted. It was only then that he realised Sara was no where to be seen. Turning quickly on his heel, he walked back out of the room and made his way downstairs.

"Sara?" he shouted, his voice echoing around the house.

"I'm in here." She called back to him, her voice radiating from the library.

Taking to his heels, Tommy rushed through the corridors until he finally reached the large wooden door, pleasantly surprised to hear the soft notes of Eddie Cantor echoing around the room. Taking a deep breath, he pushed it open and quickly glanced around the room until his eyes finally landed on Sara lying across the chaise lounge which sat by the window. His eyes drifted over her and he was pleasantly surprised to see she was dressed, her hair was washed and curled and her eyes looked fresh. She was starting to look more like herself. Rushing over to her, he dropped to his knees and grasped her hand. "Are you ok?"

She smiled at him and leaned over, gently kissing his forehead. "I am fine, Mr Shelby. I just woke up this morning and suddenly felt as though I couldn't lie up there any longer feeling sorry for myself."

"You've eaten?" he asked.

Sara nodded. "Mary brought me some food. It was delicious."

"It's the first thing you've ate in days, I'm not surprised it tasted good. What else have you been doing?"

"I went riding. Just around the grounds, but it was good to get out for a while."

He took her hand tightly and gently kissed her knuckles. "I'm glad to see you up and about. I've been worried about you."

Sara nodded. "I know Tommy. I apologise for worrying you. I just haven't been myself. But, I understand you are going through this as well and I've been selfish."

He got to his feet and pulled her gently with him. "Sara, lets be honest, we haven't exactly had the easiest of starts to our relationship. Half of what we've gone through would be enough to break most people. But let me tell you, you ain't been selfish. You've been through a lot this last year. You take all the time you need."

"I just can't understand it Tommy. I was fine. I went to the chapel down by the river, and when I came out of confession, I felt incredibly dizzy. The priest I seen, he offered me some water. Then I came back to the office and that's when everything went downhill." Sara buried her face into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around the waistband of his trousers. Tommy smiled to himself as he pulled her closer. It was the first show of affection she had given him for weeks. He closed his eyes as he held her tightly, inhaling the sweet smell of her hair. After a few moments however, his eyes quickly flew open.

"Did you say the chapel by the river?" he asked, looking down at her.

She nodded. "Why?"

"What did the priest look like?" his hands rested on her shoulders.

Sara narrowed her eyes. "I don't know."

"Please Sara, its important. Anything at all you remember about him?" Tommy begged.

Thinking back to that day was hard for her. She remembered how she felt walking into the church and didn't care to think any more about it, but looking up into his eyes, she could tell something was bothering him. "Umm, he had dark hair. Very short. He was quite tall and slim. Older man. Irish."

Tommy's eyes glazed over as he fought the urge to be sick. "You said he gave you water?"

Sara nodded. "Yes, he brought me a glass. Why?"

"Did you see him pour it? Did he know who you were?" Finding the back of the couch, he sat down, still gripping onto her hand.

"Tommy, you're scaring me. Whats wrong?" She knelt down next to him, resting her free hand on his knee.

"Did he know?" he asked again, almost demanding this time.

"I don't think so. I mentioned the name Tommy, but I don't see how he would know you from that. No I didn't see him pour it." Sara gripped his knee.

"Think carefully Sara. Is there anything else you might have said which would indicate to him who you were?" releasing her hand, he grasped the sides of her face, forcing her to look up at him.

Sara thought carefully, trying desperately to remember the flow of the conversation. "I don't think so. I didn't mention the family. I just mentioned you were the baby's father. I might have mentioned you were a dangerous man to people, but that's all."

Slamming his fist down on the couch next to him, he let out an almost animalistic roar. It was carnal and took Sara completely by surprise, forcing her back onto the floor. "Tommy! What's wrong?"

"That bastard Hughes! He's done this. He's put something in your drink. He knew who you were. He's done this to get to me! I'll fuckin' kill him." The rage in his eyes was evident and it scared her. She had seen him angry before, but this reaction was on a completely different level, and nothing like she had ever experienced before.

"Tommy, what are you talking about?" she pleaded, grasping his shirt, trying desperately to bring him back to her. Tears formed in her eyes as she tried to snap him out of his rage. "Tommy, please!"

Her voice broke him out of his reverie and his eyes fell back down to her. Unable to contain himself, he wrapped her up in his arms and held her tightly to him, her body meshed perfectly against him. "Sara, you have to promise me that if you go back to Small Heath, you won't go alone. You'll either be with me, Arthur or John. I don't trust anyone else to look after you."

"Tommy, what is this about?"

He had been desperately trying to avoid bringing up the Russian business with Sara after she had come face to face with the Grand Duchess Tatiana two months previous but now, it was looking as though he had no choice. "The priest. He is part of the Russian business I am currently dealing with. Although, I don't trust him." He watched her intently. If she was angry at the mention of this, her face didn't betray her. "I suspect he is reporting to the Communists. We haven't had a good working relationship so far. I had no idea you had met him."

"Well, I wouldn't have thought to say anything would I? I didn't know who he was." Sara finally spoke. "You think he had something to do with this?"

"I know it." Tommy pulled her to him again. "He's done this. And he's going to fuckin' pay for it."

 **A/N - I'll be honest, this was quite a difficult chapter for me to write as parts of it were drawn from personal experience. I would love to hear your thoughts so far. Thank you to all of you who have reviewed, favourited and followed this story. Your continued support means the world to me.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

He pulled open the door to his office and made his way towards his large mahogany desk, staggering into the walls as he went. Throwing himself down onto the comfortable leather chair, he poured a drink from the bottle he had lifted on his way in, spilling it onto the desk. Rolling the glass around his lips, he stared at the wall, thoughts whirring around his mind like a tornado. He took a long drink from the glass before topping it up again. Glancing over at the clock, he realised it was getting late. Darkness was finally starting to set in and the room would have been in blackness if it wasn't for the faint light shining in from the nearby street lamp. Struggling to contain his emotions, he stood from the chair and launched the glass clean across the room, causing it to shatter into a thousand pieces on the ground. Placing his palms down on the desk, he bowed his head, desperately trying to shake the cloudiness which covered his subconscious. After the difficulty of the past few weeks, Sara was finally starting to sound more like herself and he was incredibly content in this fact, however, having tried as much as he could to bring her back out of the abyss she had been sinking into, he had found he hadn't been paying himself the same amount of attention and all of the grief, sorrow and sadness that he had been curtailing was finally starting to crack through his tough exterior. Lifting his knuckles up to his eyes, he pushed them so far against the sockets, he started to see bright lights appearing. Wanting to push the thoughts from his mind, he desperately tried to forget the wretchedness he felt. He took a deep breath, in a frantic attempt to stop the tears from welling in his eyes. He didn't cry. He wasn't one for letting his emotions get the better of him, but yet, he felt as though he couldn't help himself. He felt vulnerable and weak, feelings that he wasn't used to and certainly wasn't relishing.

"Tommy?"

The timid voice came from the a few feet away. Lifting his head, his eyes fell on Lizzie, standing tall and lean inside the doorframe. She was wearing a dark dress and had a shawl wrapped tightly around her body. Her hair clung tightly to her cheeks, slightly damp from the brief rain shower they'd had earlier. Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose and discreetly wiped the corner of his eyes, turning his back to Lizzie.

"What are you doing here Lizzie? It's late."

"I left my bag here earlier." She held it up in front of her as if to prove it to him. "I came back to get it. And I heard the glass smash." Her eyes drifted down to the shattered glass on the floor before moving back up to Tommy who had finally turned to face her. "Are you alright?"

"Never fuckin' better." He groaned.

"What's wrong?" she took a few timid steps into the room, uncertain as to how he would react. He was clearly a ticking timebomb and Lizzie felt as though the floor was covered in egg shells.

Taking a swig from the bottle, he started to make his way around the desk, almost tripping up over his own feet. Rushing forward, Lizzie grasped his arm to help steady him. She had seen him drunk before, but not like this. "Steady on, Tommy." She wrapped a slender arm around his back, tucking it under his long coat and resting it on the band of his trousers.

"I'm fine." He slurred, his arm automatically lying across her shoulders.

She smirked at his defiance. "You're anythin' but. Come on, you need to sleep this off."

His eyes flickered and slightly glazed over as he admitted defeat and allowed her to lead him out of the office. Somehow managing to steady him against the wall, she quickly locked the main door and dropped the key into her coat pocket. "Come on." She grasped hold of him again and started walking in the opposite direction from Polly's house.

"Where we goin'?" he demanded, his feet refusing to walk in a straight line, but he knew he wasn't in any fit state to argue.

"You're coming back to my place to sleep." She insisted.

"I need to get back to Sara." He attempted to stop but she forcibly hauled him further up the street. "She needs me."

"Sara will be fine." Lizzie insisted. "The last thing she needs in her condition, is to deal with a drunken Tommy Shelby."

Unable to argue any longer and just desperately wanting to lie down, Tommy said no more and dutifully followed her to her home, continuing to lean against her as she unlocked the door. Lizzie grasped onto his hand and helped him inside, quickly locking the door behind them. She watched him with amusement as he attempted to negotiate his way through the hallway until he reached the living room. Throwing himself down on the couch, he rested his head on the pillow and allowed his eyes to finally close. She made her way into the room after him, a smile appearing briefly on her lips as she heard the faint snore sounding around the room. She made her way across to him and knelt on the floor beside him, her eyes drifting over his sleeping form. In all the time they had spent together, she had never seen him sleep. He had never stuck around long enough after paying for her services, and Lizzie had regularly found herself alone each night. Reaching up, she traced her finger along his hairline, resisting the urge to run her fingertips through his short hair. She gently fingered the small scars which blemished his skin and smiled as she felt the softness of his forehead. Whilst she never regretted the time they had spent together, she did feel remorse at the fact they had never made love like a normal couple. It had always been at Tommy's beck and call. Whether it was over his desk, up a dark alley or against the wall at the back of the Garrison, it had never been in a bed. They never lay together afterwards, lazing in post coital bliss. He never even removed all his clothes, choosing to only slightly loosen his slacks enough to gain access to her. Dejection crept over her, but she pushed it to one side as she leaned over and ran her finger down his cheekbone. Her face grew closer to his and she was able to sense the inviting smell of liquor and cigarettes. It was toxic, but it was characteristic of him. She adored it and found herself desperate to get near to him. Continuing to move closer, she gently placed her lips on his cheek, planting a light kiss before moving further down and doing the same to the corner of his mouth. Allowing her fingertips to rest flat on his cheek, she kissed him harder, savouring the almost forgotten taste of him. Having savoured it for a few moments, she began to pull away until the slight movement of his lips stopped her. Her eyes opened slightly to observe him. His were still tightly closed but there was no mistake, he was kissing her back. The tell-tale feeling of his lips moving in rhythm with hers, albeit very briefly, felt incredible to her and something she had spent months longing for. She began stroking his cheek, running her fingers down to his chin and gripping it slightly. Just as their kiss started to deepen, a murmur escaped his lips.

"Sara…."

Immediately parting, she felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach. Shaking him violently by the shoulder, she forced him awake. His eyes fluttered open and confusion crept onto his face as he tried to take in his surroundings, clearly perplexed at the sight of Lizzie kneeling in front of him.

"Lizzie? What are you doing here?" he murmured, rubbing his eyes.

"Here? This is my home Tommy." She spat.

Tommy's eyes widened as he forced his body up out of the couch, desperately trying to get to his feet. "What am I doing here?"

"You could barely walk Tommy. What was I supposed to do? Just leave you to attempt to make your own way home? You'd end up lying at the side of the road in the rain. I thought I was doing you a favour." She lowered her eyes, finding it difficult to look at him. Lifting her hand, she softly rubbed her bottom lip, still reeling from their kiss. She felt exasperated. She had finally felt as though he was hers, despite his drunken state, but as soon as he muttered her rivals name, all hope quickly vanished. She watched him intently as he swayed around the room, resting his hand against the fireplace to steady himself.

"I need to go. I need to get back to Sara." He started to make his way towards the door.

"Why Tommy? Just tell me why."

He turned to face her. "Why what Lizzie?"

"Why her and not me?" Tears threatened her eyes, but she refused to give him the satisfaction, forcing them back. "Why did we never work out?"

"Because you are a whore Lizzie." He hissed, viciously. "I paid you for sex and that was it. You offered a service and I paid for it. Why would we ever be anything more? Whereas, I love Sara."

"Really? Is that why you were kissing me just now? How would Sara feel to find out about that?" she threatened.

"What are you on about?"

Lizzie laughed. "You were lying on the couch and you kissed me."

Shaking his head, it was Tommy's turn to laugh. "Really? You kiss me when I'm lying unconscious on your couch and apparently that means we're going to be together forever? I've got news for you Lizzie, you don't even come close to her. So, whatever it is that you think happened here tonight, you're wrong."

Anger coursed through her veins and she felt impotent. "I forgot Tommy. You have your perfect life with her and that bastard child."

Rage surged through him and Tommy fought hard to control his emotions. His eyes were fiery with fury and Lizzie could see he was fighting it. She knew she was pushing him to his limits and had she been a man, he wouldn't have thought twice of knocking her out. But, having been raised to never lift his hand to a woman, Tommy fought the urge. Instead, clenching his fists tightly at his sides. He thought back over the last few weeks and the difficulties he and Sara had faced together at the loss of their unborn child, but it had not become public knowledge yet. He had refused to tell anyone outside of his immediate family and it was clear that Lizzie had not heard about it on the grapevine yet. "That bastard child?" he repeated, his eyes narrowed down at her.

"Yes. You think you're going to be happy with her? You're going to become one happy little family?" she snapped.

"That will eventually be the plan Lizzie, whether you like it or not. But not this time." His voice wavered under the statement.

"And why is that?" she smirked.

"Because its gone Lizzie!" he yelled. The emotions he had been holding in for so long were finally spilling out and he felt as though he couldn't stop them. She frowned as she saw his knees buckle, forcing him down onto the ground. His palms were flat against his thighs and his back was hunched over, his head bowed, and eyes tightly closed.

Timidly, she took a step towards him. "What do you mean Tommy?" her voice softening.

He was silent for a few more minutes before finally answering. "I mean its gone. Haven't you noticed that she hasn't been around much?"

Quickly thinking back, she remembered the last time she saw Sara was the day she found out about the pregnancy. She remembered the pain she felt at the news and how she felt as though she had lost Tommy forever. Thinking back, she realised she hadn't seen her since.

"We lost the baby Lizzie." His voice faltered.

Before she knew what she was doing, she clambered across the floor until she was kneeling in front of him. Taking his hands in hers, she stroked them gently. It was only when she felt the wet droplet land on the back of her hand, did she look up at him and realise he was crying. Bewilderment was clear on her face and she wasn't sure how to deal with it. She realised she was probably only one of a handful of people who had ever seen him cry, and knowing how incredibly miserable he must be, she knew better than to draw attention to it. Suddenly, knowing what he and Sara had probably been dealing with over the last few weeks, did she feel a staggering amount of guilt for attempting to seduce him. She lifted one of her hands and placed it at the back of his neck, placing her forehead against his. Leaning forward, he allowed his head to drop into her lap, sobbing into the folds of her skirt.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm worried about him, Pol." Arthur paced the living room of Watery Lane with a glass in hand. They had noticed Tommy retreating further into himself over the last few weeks, and although they didn't blame him, they were growing more concerned with his behaviour by the day. His temper was shorter than usual, and he rarely spoke, out with discussions of business. The Russian job was taking longer than originally planned, and the last time they had spoken had been to discuss breaking into the underground cellar of the Russians stately home. Even then, he had been tense and anxious, and Arthur knew he'd had a lot on his mind.

"He'll come around Arthur. Sara is coping better now. She'll bring him out of it. He just needs time." Polly lit a cigarette, dismissing Arthur's concerns. "Have you seen Michael?"

Arthur nodded. "In the Garrison with Isaiah"

Polly lifted her coat from the hook and pulled it on. "I need to speak with him. I'll be back shortly."

Arthur grunted, letting himself fall into the armchair, drink still in hand. He knew he should go home to Linda, but he couldn't force himself to stand back up. He watched Polly as she opened the door and disappeared into the street. Pulling her coat tight around her waist, she started to walk up the cobbles, heading towards the pub. Darkness had shrouded the town and the temperature was still cool in the evenings. Almost at the pub, Polly was distracted by the sound of a nearby door opening. Turning her head, her eyes landed on Lizzie Starks front door. Almost ready to ignore it, she stepped out onto the road to cross, when a familiar figure emerged from the house. She stopped in her tracks as the figure walked towards her, seemingly unaware of her presence.

"Well, well, well." She muttered, causing him to stop dead in front of her. "Thomas Shelby. Do you mind explaining to me, what you're doing coming out of Lizzie Starks house at this time of night?"

"Not now Pol." He muttered, choosing to walk past her.

Polly grasped his arm tightly, causing him to halt. "Yes, now Thomas. You don't stagger out of a whore's house at midnight without reasonable explanation."

"I'm not talking about this here Polly." He stared her down.

Turning on her heel, seemingly forgetting she had been on her way to find her son, she grasped Tommy's arm, steering him back towards her house. "Then we'll talk about it at home."

Not in the mood for arguments, he allowed himself to be led by her. The last thing he wanted was a stand off with his Aunt in the middle of the street. They quickly arrived back, with Tommy pushing the door open, stepping into the living room and nodding to his brother as he went.

"I thought you were going to get Michael." Arthur stated as Polly appeared behind him.

"I was." Polly raged, pulling her coat off. "Until I found this one coming out of Lizzie's place."

Arthur turned his head quickly in his brothers direction, noting Tommy's eye roll as he did. "You wha'?"

"Polly, I'm tellin ya now, you've completely jumped to conclusions here." Tommy made his way over to Arthur, taking the bottle from him and poured himself a drink. "You think I fucked Lizzie Stark?"

"Didn't ya?" she challenged him.

"No, I fuckin' didn't." he knocked back the whisky. "You think I would fuck this up anymore than it already is?"

"How is it fucked up Tommy?" Arthur got to his feet. "You've got it made, mate."

Tommy sat down on the couch and crossed his legs before lighting a cigarette. "Look, I drank too much earlier. Lizzie found us in the office. I slept it off on her couch. That was it."

Arthur shrugged his shoulders towards Polly. "He'd admit it if he had fucked her Pol."

"Maybe to you Arthur." Polly scolded. "I'm tellin ya now Thomas, do not fuck this up. That girl is special to us, and she's been through hell. Last thing she needs is for you to be finding comfort elsewhere."

"And what about me, Polly?" The tone of his voice was angry and the decibels he spoke at, raised suddenly, taking them by surprise. "What about fucking me? Am I not dealin' wi' this as well?"

She swallowed hard, taken aback by his outburst, but feeling slightly relieved that she now understood the reason behind his anger. He was hurting. She walked towards him and placed her hand on his shoulders. "The best thing you can do, is go home to her. Look after each other. You'll get each other through this."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pulling up in the spacious courtyard, Tommy stepped from the car, closing the door behind him. His peaked hat and long coat offered him minimal shelter against the rain as it pounded down on the ground. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the large front door and stepped into the foyer. Silence filled the air and Tommy pulled his watch from its pocket, squinting at the clock face in the dim light. _3am._ He made his way into the sitting room and picked up one of the crystal tumblers. Lifting the top from the decanter, he filled the glass with the sweet amber nectar and took a long drink. Pulling his coat off and setting it down on the couch, he took another drink before making his way out of the lounge and began his walk up the grand staircase. Take each step slowly, he made his way along the corridor until he came to the final door. He listened carefully at the door, and when he could hear nothing, he gently pushed it open, trying not to make a sound. His breath caught in his throat and cool air drifted up in front of his face. Immediately feeling the chill in the air, his eyes wandered over to the large bay window where he realised one of them was wide open. Taking long strides, he quickly made his way across the room, stealing a slight glance at Sara as he did. Once the window was closed, he slowly stepped back to the side of the bed and started to remove his clothes. Sara was lying on the opposite side of the bed. _His side._ Her face was buried into his pillow and she had her back to him. The sheets were wrapped tightly around her but lay in such a way that he could see her exposed naked back. Once he was down to his underwear, he lifted the cover and slid underneath, slipping his arm around her stomach and pulling her tightly to him. Her body automatically meshed into his and the warmth from her transferred almost immediately to him.

"Tommy?" she whispered, almost inaudibly.

"Shhh." He gripped her tighter. "I'm right here."

He kissed the back of her neck, feeling her trembling in his arms. He thought back over the last few hours and how he had come so close to fucking everything up. He had been so close to allowing himself to be seduced by Lizzie but thankfully, he had come to his senses and awoken from his drunken slumber. He remembered murmuring Sara's name, further proof for him that she was never far away, even if it was only in his subconscious. He ran his finger tips down her arm, enjoying the soft smoothness of her skin. To him, she was perfect. And even as he thought back to a year ago, he couldn't have imagined his life taking this turn. The first day he had gone to her house after losing Finn and Karl in the park, he had found himself dangerously close to her on her sofa, but yet, despite her clear unhappiness, her loyalty to her husband was unquestionable. He could only imagine she would offer him the same devotion.

"Sara?" he breathed

"Mm hmm." She was still asleep, he could tell, but he desperately wanted to speak with her. He gripped her shoulder gently and pulled her round towards him. Allowing her body to move, she turned to face him. He pressed his lips to her forehead as she did and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tight to him.

"Sara. Are you awake?"

"Mm hmm."

He gently shook her until her eyelids fluttered open. She smiled softly as she focused on him, taking in his hard features. "Where have you been?"

"I've been taking stock of things. Trying to get my head straight." He answered, honestly.

Her eyes fully opened, now slightly concerned by his response. "Are you alright?" She was concerned now, knowing he could be a flight risk.

He nodded. "I will be."

"What will it take for you to be alright?" she ran a finger along his jawline, friction sparking as she traced his stubble.

"For you to do me a favour."

She gave him half a smirk at his self assurance. "And what would that be?"

"Marry me, Sara."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"You were correct not to talk over the phone. What did she say?" He met the fellow priest at the end of the pews. He looked almost shell shocked as the man approached.

"She said there was going to be a killing." He confirmed. "A holy man."

"And she was with the Shelby's was she?"

He nodded in agreement. Saying no more, Father Hughes turned away and began walking back to the door, gripping onto his hat as he disappeared out of sight.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lifting his gun from the holster, he cocked the chamber and withdrew one solitary bullet. He picked up a small case and opened it, pulling the object out and examining it. 'Hughes' had been engraved onto the side of the bullet and he was surer than he ever had been, that the priest had to die. It had been six weeks since he and Sara had lost their baby, and at the hands of the priest no less. A man who Thomas despised with every fabric of his being. A man who he suspected was sick in the head, and who abused his position within the church. But after everything else, he vowed he would seek revenge and his child's death would not be in vain. Pushing the bullet into the chamber, he forced it back into his holster and made his way to the park.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Standing silently on the bridge, he watched with distain as Father Hughes ran around the park with the young children, picking them up and spinning them around, laughter and smiles radiating from him. Biting his lip, Tommy stepped back out of sight as he came closer, only following him a few seconds later when he knew he wouldn't be spotted. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins. Out of all the people whose deaths he had been responsible for, this was the one where Tommy felt truly vindicated. Marching down the staircase after him, he kept his head down, looking briefly around to ensure he wasn't spotted. Stepping into the public bathroom, he ignored the stagnant smell which assaulted his nostrils and quietly pulled his gun from its holster. Raising it up beside his face, he took a few silent steps inside, keeping his back against the wall. Aiming for one of the final cubicles, he could see the mans shadow reflecting off the dirty tiled wall. Pointing his gun, he was ready to fire when he was suddenly pushed hard from behind. Caught unaware, he almost fell to the ground but was forced up against the wall, trying desperately to fight back against the two sets of hands that were attacking him. Finding some inner strength, he pushed them away, finally able to land a few punches into one mans stomach before eventually being pushed to the ground. Finding it difficult to hold his balance, he was unable to stop them from pushing him around, his focus quickly disappearing. The metallic taste of blood covered his mouth as he fell to his knees after yet another punch to his jaw. Dizziness crept in as he felt his coat being tugged from behind, hoisting him up off his knees. Unable to stop them, he could only watch as the solid pipe came screaming up towards his face as the man rattled him against it. Again, he was pulled to his feet, his face pressed hard against the wall, and only in the struggle did he finally see the image of Father Hughes in front of him through his blurred vision. Hands pressed his head hard against the tiles and Tommy felt his eyes roll into the back of his head as the sickening crack rang out around the room. Unable to take anymore and starting to feel the life ebb away from him, he sank to the floor.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"But I don't understand, Mary!" Sara yelled as she watched Mary pack up a bag for her. "Why have I to go to Polly's? Where is Tommy? What is going on?"

She was hysterical now. Tommy hadn't been home in two days and now, she had learned she was being sent away from her home with no information as to why. She couldn't understand it and Mary couldn't tell her anything else.

"All I know Miss, is that Mr Shelby has asked that you are kept safe and you stay with his aunt for the time being. He has let go all of the soldiers who are currently on staff and I don't know why. Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn Miss, but he didn't look at all well. I tried to persuade him to see a doctor, but he refused." Mary admitted.

Shock was evident on Sara's face. She hadn't seen Thomas in days and now to hear he was injured was almost too much to bear. "This isn't right. I'm going to be his wife. We're meant to be getting married! He can't just send me away like this. If he's hurt, I need to know where he is."

"All I know is, he was going to London. Tonight."

Sara got to her feet, lifting her dress up around her knees, she rushed towards the bedroom door, throwing it open before running down the staircase.

"Miss!" Mary shouted from behind her. "It's too late!"

Searching each of the rooms, she finally stopped back in the foyer and rested her hands on the table. Tears fell from her eyes as she tried desperately to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she pressed her hand up to try and ease it. Mary suddenly appeared at her side and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry Miss, he has already left."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He pushed open the door with all the strength he could muster. Pain soared through his body as he entered the room.

"Sorry I'm late." He gasped. "There was a body on the line."

"Drink, Mr Shelby?" the Archduke offered.

Keeping his head down, he refused the drink. "I have come here to apologise."

Father Hughes interrupted, the sly grin appearing on his face. "I have already explained that you now realise that your absurd allegation against me was false."

"Indeed."

"And that your base nature, made you rash." He continued. "And that now, once again, our plan is back on track. When a child in my care, commits a sin, first of all, he confesses, as you just did. And then, I instruct him to perform penance in a manner of my choosing. As a child you went to church?"

"Yes."

"You remember the Act of Contrition?" he asked. Thomas nodded slowly. "Good. Do you remember the words of the Act of Contrition?"

"Yes."

"As your penance, I would like you to recite it now, in the presence of our associates."

Thomas took a breath. Sweat was steadily running down his temples and he was struggling to focus on the table in front of him. Gripping onto the edge, he thought back to his days in church as a youngster, being forced into confession by his mother for stealing fruit from the local market stall or for getting in a fight with another boy in school who teased his little brother, John. "Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry for having…"

"Instead of 'God', say my name, since it was me you offended with your false allegation."

Anger surged through him yet again but he continued. "Father Hughes, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, because of your just punishment, but most of all, because they offend you. Father Hughes, who are all good and deserving of my love. I firmly resolve to, with the help of your grace, to sin no more and to avoid all near occasions of sin."

"Very good. Thank you. Amen." Father Hughes leaned over to him, placing his hand over Tommy's. "That was excellent. Almost as good as that lovely girl of yours. She performed fantastic penance when she came to me for forgiveness." He sat back in his chair, satisfaction clear on his face as he could tell how much his words angered Thomas. "And now that we are a united band once more, perhaps we could order some food?"

Taking a long drink of water, Tommy slowly got to his feet. "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well. I have to go. Goodnight."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Three long months passed spent cooped up in a hospital room which looked more like a prison. His hair had started to grow back after having part of his scalp shaved when he underwent the necessary surgery to repair the fracture in his skull. _Lucky to be alive._ The doctors had told him. Not that he felt it. Despite the torture he was going through, he refused to allow Sara to visit him, unwilling for her to see him in this vulnerable state. He was supposed to be the one taking care of her. They would have married by now if he had never got himself involved with the Russians. Business was continuing to take over his life, but yet, he couldn't seem to stop, no matter how much she pleaded with him. His immediate family had been the only ones allowed into see him and even them, he couldn't remember much of their visit, due to the inordinate amount of morphine he had been taking. Finally able to get on his feet, he spent most of his time on them, almost scared to lie back down again in case he had lost the ability yet again. He was stood in his underwear, staring up at the window. Moonlight shone through, illuminating his tired and emaciated body under its glare.

"Here he is, Mr Shelby." The nurses voice sounded behind him, but he didn't acknowledge her. Footsteps entered the room, taking soft steps before they finally reached him.

"Tommy?" Michaels voice declared his presence. "I need to speak to ya about the priest. I know things about him. From when I was a boy." Taking a few steps forward until he was almost in touching distance of his cousin. "I will shoot him myself Tommy. Just teach me how to shoot."

"Its easy Michael. Just point, pull the trigger." He took another drag of his cigarette before pouring another shot of morphine onto his spoon.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunlight streamed through the room, rudely awakening from his slumber. He rolled his head around to look up at the ceiling, feeling the most comfortable he had done in weeks. Squinting his eyes, he looked around, more than satisfied to find he was back in his own bed. Reaching his hand over to the other side, his heart sank to find cold, empty sheets greeting him. Shifting his head to the side, he glanced over to where Sara should be, saddened to find her missing. But then he remembered, he had ordered for her to stay with Pol. _Keep her safe._ He had warned them, and since coming out of hospital, he hadn't yet sent instructions for her to return. _The morphine._ He reasoned. Dragging himself out of bed, he lifted the bottle from his bedside table and made his way into the bathroom. He took off the lid and watched intently as he turned it upside down, allowing the liquid to disappear down the drain. Ignoring the pain stabbing him in the side of his head, he made his way back into the bedroom and quickly dressed before heading downstairs. Sitting at the top of the table, he eyed up the sumptuous breakfast in front of him, but he couldn't stomach it. Instead, he lifted his cigarettes and lit one, watching as Mary sat his paper down beside him.

"Did you remember your medicine, Sir?" she asked as she had begun to walk away from him.

"Do you ever read the Bible, Mary?" he asked, nonchalantly.

She shrugged, somewhat confused by his random question. "Sometimes."

Undeterred, he continued. "Do you ever read it out loud while standing naked, next to my bed? Cos when I take the morphine the doctor gave me, that's what you do. I'm wide awake, but you are standing there naked, plain as day, reading from the book of Leviticus."

The colour drained from her face as he spoke. He had never spoken to her like this, and she was taken aback by his abruptness.

"Do you want to know what happens next?" he continued. Still in shock, she shook her head. "No, neither do I. That's why I pour the medicine away. Go and make the call Mary. Bring Ms Miller home."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her emotions were everywhere. She felt anger, sadness, heartbreak, happiness and relief all at once. Watching through the car window, her heart started pounding as the grand image of Arrow House appeared in her vantage point. Her eyes desperately searched the windows, looking for a silhouette of the man she loved standing in its frame. And despite having not seen him for over three months, she did still love him. He had put her through hell, time and time again, but yet, each time, she went back. Ultimately she knew he did it because whatever business he was involved in, he was doing it for a better life. A better life for them. And she had no doubt that the pain they had suffered at the hands of the priest had something to do with it. Tommy wasn't one to let a grudge last forever. He would act upon it, violently if necessary. But now, she couldn't think of that. She was finally on her way home. They were due to be married and she was desperate to start a family with him, but this time, with no secrets.

The car came to a stop and she pushed the door open quickly, her heeled feet crunching against the gravel courtyard as she made her way to the front door. Taking a breath, she pushed it open slowly.

"Tommy?" she whispered.

"Good morning, Miss. It's lovely to have you home." Mary appeared from the dining room, greeting her with a genuine smile. "Let me take your coat. Mr Shelby is upstairs."

Sara nodded, shrugging her coat off. Taking timid steps towards the staircase, she grasped onto the bannister and started to make her way up. Finally, she made it to their bedroom, the room she knew he would be in. Pushing down on the door handle, she entered the room. Looking around, it seemed exactly the way she had left it. Clothes were left hanging over the armchair. Clothes which she had almost taken with her to Polly's but in the end, left behind. It was as though no one had been there since. Looking up, her eyes fell on Tommy's strong posterior standing within the bay windows, with his back to her. Taking small steps, she shyly made her way towards him. As she reached him, she slipped her arms up under his arms and wrapped them up around his chest, resting her cheek flat against his back. His tense demeanour faded the second she touched him, melting into her embrace and grasping onto her clasped hands with his.

"I missed you." She murmured into his back. At this, he turned his body to face her, finally getting his first proper look at her in weeks. He was distraught to see how she looked. Her hair looked lank, her eyes had no fire in them and her skin was almost grey. Seeing her like this, made him realise the hell he had put her through. Thomas closed his eyes and dropped to his knees, taking her by surprise. He rested his forehead against her abdomen and wrapped his arms tightly around her legs.

"Hey." She whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "What is the matter?"

"I've failed you." He answered, refusing to look at her.

Her eyes narrowed as she followed him to the ground, resting on her knees. Using her index finger, she pushed his chin up, forcing him to look at her. "You have not failed me. I knew all this when I came back here. I knew there was a possibility things like this could happen. When I was staying with your Aunt, I received a phone call from Ada. It was when you collapsed at her house. She told me what was going on. I don't blame you Thomas, for any of it. You did what you did for me, for us. But, you can't shut me out. If I'm going to be part of this family, you need to let me in. For the good things and the bad. Out of everything that's happened, the hardest part for me, is not being able to see you. Do you have any idea how many times I went to the hospital, only to be told you wouldn't see me? That's what hurt the most Tommy." She pressed a kiss against his forehead before finally looking back at him. Before she could say anything else, she could see the lust build up in his eyes. The same fire she had seen the night he had found her in the London park and had taken her back to Ada's. The first time they had kissed. He looked at her now with that same desire. Unable to contain himself any longer, he got to his feet, pulling her up along the way. His lips quickly claimed her as his hands got to work at removing her dress before finally pulling her down onto the bed, determined for them to rediscover each other.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

 **A/N – Thank you all for your continued support. There will be a slight increase of the T rating in this chapter. If you don't want to read, simply stop when you see the continued X's and restart when you see the second row. As always, please let me know your thoughts!**

"Do you, Thomas Michael Shelby, take Sara Catherine Miller to be your lawful wedded wife?"

Jeremiah's soothing voice rang out around the church. Summer had quickly come and gone and Tommy had decided he wasn't going to waste any more time without making Sara his wife. Too much time had gone by, and too much had happened for him to allow any more to slip away. November was upon them and it had been seven months since they had dealt with the agony of losing their unborn child. Despite everything that had happened, they hadn't quite managed to face that conversation again, and neither had indicated a yearning to try again. Despite this, as he stood at the alter, dressed in his best tailor made suit, staring down at his picturesque bride standing next to him, he was finally where he wanted to be, and he couldn't deny that he wanted that family. He wanted the feeling of having someone need him, look up to him, share his mannerisms and to look after. He knew that no matter how much he succeeded in business, no matter how beautiful the woman on his arm was, nothing would fill that hollow gap in his heart. Nothing, other than a child.

"I do."

She smiled up at him, the spark in her eyes that had been gone for so long had since returned and the bright emerald caught the light so brilliantly.

"Do you, Sara Catherine Miller, solemnly swear to love, honour and obey till death do you part?"

"I do."

Jeremiah smiled down at the pair and closed over his bible. "I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Cheers rang out around the church as Thomas lifted his hands and gently cupped her cheeks, pulling her to him. His lips found hers and in one split second, he suddenly wished they were alone. Smiling into the kiss, he reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, still grasping her face.

"I love you, Mrs Shelby." he whispered.

She grinned up at him, her eyes glistening with fresh tears as she took in the sight of him. "I love you too." She couldn't remember feeling as happy at her first wedding as she did right then. She didn't remember the church being filled with people she really cared about. It had all been business. James' colleagues and business associates were the main guests and other than her immediate family, there was no one there just for her. As Thomas dropped his hands and grasped onto hers, they turned to face the cheering crowd. Her eyes immediately fell upon her family sitting on her right. They truly looked happy for her and despite her admission to them about Thomas' line of work, they could see a difference in her compared to her time with James. As they started walking back up the aisle towards the door, she smiled over at them, feeling incredibly grateful they could be there. She would have felt lost had her father not been there to give her away, but thankfully, they had managed to make the journey over. They made their way outside into the warm breeze. Green trees and fields surrounded them as far as the eye could see and the heat off the sun radiated across their faces as they made their way down the church steps. Their family and friends quickly followed behind, surrounding them as Arthur called down to the photographer to take the picture. As they began to make their way towards the carriage, Sara felt a tug at her hand, turning suddenly to find Ada standing behind her.

"Welcome to the family finally, sister." She smiled, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm so glad I finally have someone who can help me go up against these clowns."

Laughing, Sara adjusted her veil, so it fell around her shoulders and made her way back to Tommy, grasping his hand as he helped her into the carriage, making their way back to their home to celebrate.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Good morning, Mr Solomons."

"Yeah it is." He stood at the window, staring out and not turning when Tommy entered the room. "Nice place you got here, Thomas. What is it? A foreclosure of a gambling debt from some poor young lord who you pumped full of opium in one of your casinos? Or is that just tittle tattle?"

He turned to face Tommy as he had finished pouring the whisky into his glass. "Drink?"

"Nah I don't touch it mate." Alfie began to walk towards him. "Your housekeeper said you're not allowed to drink. Eh? She said, you are suffering from so many ancient injuries from your sporting life that your head is like some sort of smashed vase whats been stuck back together by an 'orse."

Tommy made his way across the room and sat down in one of the green arm chairs. Following him over, Alfie sat down beside him. "I have to say mate, I was surprised at gettin' an invite up here seen as my invitation to your prestigious social event last week seemed to have gone astray. So my guess is now, that my bookkeeper ain't ever comin' back to me now, is that right?"

"That would be right Mr Solomons."

"I've also been told that you believe that you are powerful enough to summon up Jews of a very particular standing up to the gentle wilderness wherein you live in order for them to do your fuckin' bidding mate."

"And still, you came." Tommy took a long drag of the cigarette he had lit.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara pulled the blanket up around her legs and stared out into the night sky. Her eyes firmly on the long drive which exited their property. Snow had covered most of the gravel as it fell softly to the ground. Normally, she enjoyed this time of year. Having grown up in New York, winters were always something to celebrate, and nothing quite beat walking through Central Park on a crisp, cool, December morning. However, on this occasion, something felt off. Despite feeling incredibly grateful to Thomas for proving a warm, comfortable home, she couldn't help but feel utterly lost and alone in such a large house. Other than the staff, there was no one else around whenever Tommy was away on business, and Sara found herself spending a great deal of time on her own. Working in the office didn't do much to solve her problems, given that she had to spend most of the time ignoring the daggers which radiated across to her from Lizzie's desk at the opposite side of the room. Sometimes she wished she could go back to London. She missed Ada and Karl immensely and longed for the days where she could pop round for a chat and a coffee. Glancing down at the oval shaped diamond on her left hand, she twisted the simple silver band around her finger. Tommy had been gone all day and the knowledge of where he was drove her insane. Since the wedding, she had made him promise her he would tell her everything about the ongoing activities within the business, however much she may not like it. On most occasions, she had waved him off without so much as thinking about it, but today was different. This morning, he had left whilst she was still eating breakfast. Arthur and John had arrived early, and they had left only a few minutes later with Tommy briefly explaining they had Russian business to take care of. Sara's mind was in overdrive since then, and now, as she sat at the window, willing him to come home, her heart ached at the thought of him spending time with the woman she had seen leave his home the day she had returned. That woman, who she now knew as the Grand Duchess Tatiana Petrovna. Telling herself she could trust him, she lifted her wine glass from the floor and finished it contents before making her way over to her bed, crawling underneath the sheets and gripping tightly onto Thomas' pillow, praying for morning to come quickly.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They made their way back upstairs after having been down in the vault, reviewing the jewels and making their selections. Bringing Alfie Solomons had worked out extremely well, even resulting in the agreement of a Faberge Egg becoming part of the deal. And now, as he sat on the sofa, alcohol starting to take over his body and with the Grand Duchess sitting ever closer to him, he allowed his eyes to wander across the room. Despite having consumed a large amount of the readily available vodka, he only observed the alcohol fuelled orgy that was taking place all around him. The past would have no doubt seen him getting involved in the antics taking place.

"My aunt only employs the best whores."

He was suddenly aware of her getting to her feet. She held her hand out to him and he allowed himself to be pulled up, following her across the house and into a quieter room. The fire was lit and candles were placed around the room. His inhibitions were lowered and he could feel his feet almost unable to carry him the short distance across the room. Tripping up over his feet, he came crashing into her, his head resting upon her stomach and his hands landing on her hips. She stood before him, somewhat undeterred by his clumsiness. Reaching up, she slipped her fingertips under the straps of her dress and allowed it to fall to her feet, exposing her naked body. On his knees, he looked up at her and lifted his hands again, placing them on her soft skin. She gently pushed his shoulders so he fell back onto the floor and climbed on top of him. Reaching down, she undid his belt buckle and unbuttoned his trousers, pushing her hand inside. His eyes glazed over and his head fell back against the floor, allowing his eyelids to close as she fondled him.

"I can make you forget about your wife." She leaned forward, whispered softly in his ear and continued to stroke him. "I'll make you forget all about her."

Xxxxx

His eyes slowly opened, trying desperately to take in his surroundings. Looking around, he realised he was alone. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before reaching into his shirt pocket for his cigarettes. He lit one and got to his feet, somewhat unsteadily. Placing the cigarette in his mouth, he reached down as he felt his trousers start to slip as he stood.

"Fuck." He cursed, remembering the previous nights events. He knew they hadn't gone as far as to repeat the events the last time they were together, but guilt crept through him about what had happened. She had touched him. Despite him promising to himself and his wife that she would be the only one, he had allowed her to do so. The first light of daybreak was starting to shine through the window and the fire had almost burnt out. Tommy quickly buttoned his trousers and took long strides towards the door, pulling it open. He began aimlessly wandering the house, only stopping when he finally came across his brothers lying asleep in the living room. Shaking them awake, he motioned for them to get up. John smirked at him as he rose, grabbing his coat from the back of the chair.

"Not a fuckin' word John." Tommy warned.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her sunglasses provided her with limited sanctuary against the prying glances as she made her way through the cobbled streets of Small Heath. Finally reaching the den, she pushed open the door and made her way inside. The office was quiet, with no one around and with her suspicions raised following Michael's odd behaviour over the last few weeks, she wanted to take the chance to do some investigations of her own. Lifting the spare key, she made her way along to Michael's office door and unlocked it. Stepping around to the other side of the desk, Polly started flicking through papers on the desk and going through the drawers. Lifting the phone, she dialled Ada's number to try and find out Michael's whereabouts. After getting no where, she pulled out her spare keys again and unlocked the top drawer, her eyes immediately landing on the small box inside. Slowly picking it up, her heart began to race as she carefully opened it whilst getting to her feet. As her eyes landed on the item on the inside, the heart that had been racing, suddenly dropped. It wasn't what she was expecting. Lifting up the small bullet, she examined the engraved writing. Anger started to build up inside of her as realisation set in, but before she had any chance to act upon it, a noise from the doorway startled her. Tommy stood before her, his eyes narrowed. Turning back to the corridor, he said nothing, choosing to make his way to own office. After a few seconds, Polly found her feet and followed him. He was sat in a chair by the time she reached him but she ignored him, choosing to walk straight to his desk.

"You shouldn't go looking through other people's private things." He stated, following her to his desk and taking the seat beside her.

"He's my son." She growled.

Tommy crossed his legs, turning his body slightly towards her. "The bullet was mine. I never got a chance to fire it."

"And the gypsy rules say, it must be passed on…."

"It's not about rules, Pol." He interrupted. "Its about he asked me. Its about he told me, why he wanted to do it. Now, if I tell you, I can't take the knowledge back. Better of without it." He recommended.

Polly's eyes ran over his face, trying to read his expression. "So this was when he was with the Parish?"

"Better off without it, Pol." He repeated.

"This was when he was with the Fathers." Her eyes darted around the room, trying desperately to understand what he was telling her.

"This was when he was in the care of the holy Fathers." Tommy confirmed. Michael wants it so you don't know."

She nodded, understanding. "That priest."

"That priest, who was there, when he was taken in and who is still walking the fucking earth."

"Fuck" Tears started to fall down her cheeks. She couldn't quite grasp what he was telling her, but yet, she understood it. The thought of her son, her own flesh and blood, going through such a traumatic experience, and her, not being there to do anything about it made her feel physically sick to her stomach. "Fuck."

"He asked me Pol, and I said yes. And I said 'You put a bullet in that fuckers brains, by order of the Peaky Blinders'"

"No." she found her strength, wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Not my son. He'll still be as dead if Arthur does it."

"And part of him will always stay dead." Tommy retorted.

"I swear to God."

"In whose house it took place."

Ignoring him, she continued. "If my son pulls the trigger, I will bring this whole fucking organisation down around your ears."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lying across the couch, her eyes finally gave into the tiredness they had been fighting for hours. Night had quickly descended yet again, and it had been more than a day since Tommy had been home. Sara knew this would be something she would need to deal with and accept. It came with the territory of being married to a Peaky Blinder and she tried to fight the worry that crept through her. She had no idea where Tommy was, or if he was even alright. The difficulty of this was more than she could take, so instead of sitting wallowing, she had found Tommy's liquor cabinet and decided to drown her sorrows into several large glasses of vodka. Setting the glass down, she had allowed herself to fall across the couch, sleep finally overcoming her.

A few hours later, Tommy pushed open the door, having pulled his car up into the courtyard. The hallway was cold and dark, and he knew it was likely that Sara would be asleep by now. Glancing down at his pocket watch, he could see it was almost 1am. Taking his staircase two steps at a time, Tommy quickly made his way towards their bedroom, pulling his coat off as he went. As soon as he pushed the door open, he was acutely aware that the room was empty. He threw his coat on a nearby chair and made his way back out the room, checking the other bedrooms as he went. Unable to find her, Tommy made his way back down the stairs and started searching the other rooms. Guilt started to creep back through him, concerned that she had perhaps found out about the events at the Russians home, but as he pushed open the door of the library, he let out a gasp as his eyes fell on her sleeping form. Taking his steps carefully, he made his way over to her, cursing as he clipped the empty glass sitting on the floor with his foot. Tommy knelt down beside her, lifting the glass up and taking a smell of it, smirking as the telltale aroma of alcohol invaded his nostrils. Sara had rolled over onto her back and her arm was draped gently over her stomach. She was wrapped up in a silk robe which had slightly opened under her movements. He smiled to himself as he could just see the milky tone of her flesh peek out from underneath. Relaxed, knowing that she was still here, Tommy slipped one hand under her knees and the other under her back. Getting to his feet, he gently lifted her up and rested her against his body. Making his way back out the room, he carried her up the stairs and back to their bedroom, only finally stopping when he reached the side of the bed. As he placed her down, he noticed her begin to stir under the glare of the moonlight.

"Tommy?" she whispered, her eyes gently flickering open.

"I'm here luv." Tommy leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. Before she could say anything else, he started to undress, climbing into bed once he was naked. He gently nudged her awake again. "Come under the covers."

Sara wiped her eyes and slowly got to her feet. Pulling off her robe, she draped it over the coat he had left earlier and made her way back to bed, allowing Tommy the ability to cast his eye over her body before she disappeared under the covers. He turned his body to face her and placed his hand upon her hip, gently rolling her body towards his, allowing him to press himself up against her. Tommy dropped his head towards her and placed his lips upon her temple.

"Where have you been?"

Tommy kissed her again. "I had to take care of business but it's almost finished."

"I hope you don't mean, taking care of business in the way I'm thinking." She questioned, quietly.

Tommy chose not to answer, deciding instead to kiss her again. "It's almost done."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He wrapped his arm around her waist, forcing her from her place within their bed. She let out a brief yelp as she found herself straddling him. The covers draped away from her, revealing her petite frame and Tommy couldn't help himself but pull himself up and run the palms of his hands along her back. Pulling her to him, he found her lips and tightened his grip on her, pulling her close to him. Her legs automatically responded to him and found themselves wrapping around his waist. Her arms draped over his shoulders and she allowed the passion to build up between them. No one had ever made her feel the way Tommy did and she struggled to ever remember feeling the same spark she did with him, with anyone else. Never had a man made her feel so alive, and at that brief moment, she was transported back to the first night they had spent together. Back in Watery Lane after she had arrived back in Birmingham with Ada. The shock of finding Tommy with Mrs Carleton had worn off and she had allowed John to talk her round. Having went back to Polly's home, she couldn't stop herself from rushing up the staircase to find him, and then to find out that he had kept all her letters had meant so much, but nothing could compare to the feeling she experienced the first time Tommy had really touched her. And now, feeling his touch on her again, despite the fact that she had become accustomed to it, she relished it. Just as she was enjoying the feeling of being wrapped around her striking husband, she felt his grip tighten on her and before she knew it, he had flipped her onto her back and was now hovering closely above her. Pushing her legs apart, he allowed his body to rest between them. His arms rested parallel to her head and his fingertips found themselves wound up in her hair. Kissing her again, he found himself wanting to remove the tenderness which surrounded them. The tension of the last couple of days was erupting up inside of him. Gripping onto her leg, he found her knee and forcibly pushed it up towards her chest and Sara gasped as her body flexed willingly for him. Taking advantage of her relaxed stance, he grabbed her again and lifted her up from the bed. Tommy got to his feet and held her firmly to him. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms snaked their way around his shoulders, with her hands resting at the nape of his neck. Taking long strides, he kept walking until Sara's back finally found a nearby wall. He pushed her hard up against it, desperately assaulting her lips with his. He felt as though all the pent up energy he had been carrying was now being transferred into her. Sara was almost unable to keep up with the sudden change in his behaviour, but she allowed herself to trust in him and followed his movements. Unable to take the tension any longer, their bodies connected at an alarming rate, causing Sara to worry that her uncontrollable screams would wake up the household. Pushing the thought to the back of her mind, she let go and allowed Tommy to take whatever frustrations he had, out on her body. Her fingernails gripped so tightly into his shoulders that she started to worry that she would drawn blood, but yet, she continued to grip on, only finally releasing them as she felt Tommy's body fold into her, utterly spent. His hands gripped underneath her legs as he walked them back towards the bed, collapsing together into the soft duvet. They didn't say a word. Nothing needed to be said. The air around them, thick with lust and passion, was enough. It said it all. Instead, Tommy's arms automatically went around her shoulder and pulled her to him. She rested her head on his chest, her finger tips absentmindedly playing with the soft whisps of hair across his pectoral muscles. Feeling a deep sense of sleep, she allowed herself to succumb to it, her body relaxing under the slow movements of his breathing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lizzie glanced up as the sound of the main door opening interrupted her thought process. Looking at the nearby clock, she was surprised anyone would be here this early. It was only 7am and the sun hadn't risen yet. Finding it difficult to sleep most nights, she had taken to coming to work early and leaving late. Anything to distract her from the unwelcoming silence which waited for her at home. Normally she would expect to see Tommy or Polly stroll in this early but her mouth suddenly fell agape as Sara appeared in front of her.

"I didn't think anyone would be here this early." She stated, removing her coat and hat, but not making eye contact.

Lizzie found herself unsure how to react. Everything within her being wanted to hate this woman. She had the man that Lizzie genuinely believed she was meant to be with and for that, she wanted desperately to despise her. But however much she tried, she found that in the last few months, her opinions had shifted. She couldn't deny she found it incredibly difficult to stand in the church and watch this woman marry her Tommy and part of her had wanted to stop the ceremony. However, she had found the strength somewhere to let it go. Her feelings had changed after finding out the news about their baby. Having seen Tommy in that vulnerable state, almost too weak to fight, her love for him had grown, but not in the way she expected. More so, that she wanted him to be happy. Even if that wasn't with her. This woman made him happy and despite their earlier altercations, she wanted a truce.

"I find it easier to work when it's quiet." Lizzie finally found her voice.

Lifting her eyes, Sara finally focused on the young woman sitting at the wooden desk. She almost dwarfed it. Her tall, lean frame hung over it, almost menancingly as she picked up nearby papers and pulled them together. Nodding briefly, Sara turned around slowly and made her way into Tommys office. Sitting down, she glanced back at Lizzie who was still sitting at her desk. She found difficulty in the situation. Part of her hated this woman. The pain she had inflicted since Sara had arrived in Small Heath had been tough to stomach. Lizzie had constantly looked down on her and belittled her relationship with Thomas and it drove her insane, not mentioning the fact that it killed her to think of Thomas ever having feelings for this woman. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind and tried to concentrate on the papers in front of her when the noise of china clattering on the table in front of her broke into her thoughts.

"I thought you might like some tea."

Sara's eyes lifted and landed on Lizzie standing in front of her. She pushed the cup and teapot towards Sara and turned to make her way back towards the door.

Pursing her lips, Sara sighed and pulled the cup towards her. "Lizzie?"

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face Sara.

"Go get your own cup and sit down."

Lizzies brow furrowed with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think we deserve a break. So go get a cup and pour yourself a drink." Sara watched as Lizzie disappeared from sight. She poured the sweet, warm liquid into her cup and placed the teapot back down, pushing it back towards the edge of the desk. A few seconds later, Lizzie appeared back in Tommys office and took a seat, placing the cup down in front of her. She lifted the teapot and poured her drink before setting it back down again.

"You and I didn't exactly get off to the best start." Sara stated, her delicate fingers wrapped around the China cup and she allowed the sweet aroma to dance around her nostrils, refusing to lift her eyes to meet Lizzie's.

"Not exactly."

"You haven't exactly made it easy for me."

Lizzie looked up at her and bit her lip. "You weren't making it any easier for me."

"And how is that? It wasn't my job to make things easy for you." Sara explained. "I came here and fell in love with a man. I didn't do it out of spite. I didn't do it to make life difficult for you. I had never met you when I met him. I know about your history with Thomas. He's been very upfront about it and I don't doubt, from your reactions to me, that you that still love him."

Lizzie smirked. "I don't love him."

"You can deny this all you want Lizzie. But I see it in your eyes. I seen the same look in May Carleton's eyes. Thomas Shelby seems to have this hold over the women in his life. I understand that, but there's no point lying about it." Sara took a drink. "We have two options here, Lizzie. We can either continue to hate each other, making life difficult for everyone else around us. Or, we make a truce and accept each other. But no more games. No more trying to cause problems in my marriage. Because, I promise you this Lizzie, you may think you're untouchable. But I will bring you down. You have no idea about my life before I got here, or my background. I'd rather it doesn't come to that, but I will defend my marriage with everything I've got."

Lizzie' eyes slightly widened. She'd never really heard Sara talk this way before, and although she felt slightly angry, she admired the woman. She got to her feet and made her way over to the large mahogany table which sat under Thomas' window. Lifting the crystal stopper from the top of the decanter, she poured the whisky into two nearby glasses. Picking them up, she made her way back to her chair and sat down, holding the second glass out to Sara.

"Truce it is then." She smiled as she held up her glass, allowing Sara to clink them together.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

The weeks had passed, pulling them quickly into 1925 and the tensions were building up within the family as the Russian job was coming closer to its inevitable climax and Sara could feel the hostility wherever she went. Even trying to have relaxed conversations with Michael, which was normally simplistic, had become strained. As she sat in the Garrison snug, nursing a glass of gin, her eyes lifted to analyse Michaels face, which was noticeably tense.

"Penny for your thoughts." She whispered, causing him to lift his head up suddenly.

Shaking his head, Michael knocked back the glass of whisky and lit a cigarette. "You'll need to give me more than a penny."

She was used to the minimal responses usually provided by the Shelby family. They were never ones for giving more than they absolutely needed to, but now, as a Shelby herself, she had expected more. She wanted to be kept in the loop and trusted with the information they were keeping on lock down. She felt as though she had earned her place but yet, it was as though she was still being kept at arms length. Other than what she heard during her time working in den, she was completely in the dark.

Lifting her purse, she opened it and lifted out a coin, pushing it across the table towards him. "There's a shilling. Talk."

Michael poured another glass of whisky and leaned over to top Sara's glass up, ignoring the fact the glass was already lined with the gin she had been drinking. He began to explain his anxiousness at having to deal with the priest, but was quickly interrupted by the snug door flying open, and the unmistakable racket of the Shelby brothers clattered around the room. Sara shrugged her shoulders towards Michael, signalling the end of their conversation. Darkness had started to descend and the lights within the pub were growing brighter as a result. Arthur sat down in the chair next to his sister in law and pulled the flask from his inside pocket. Unscrewing the top, he took a quick drink before reaching forward and lifting the whisky bottle from the table and tipping the amber liquid inside. John took another seat and lifted his feet up, placing them on the large wooden table, a smirk rolling over his face as he chewed the end of his cigar.

"Well, I hate to break up the laughter." She spoke, sarcasm clear in her voice as she got to her feet. "But, I should be getting home."

Arthur got to his feet and lifted her coat from the hook, holding it up to allow her to slip her arms inside.

"Ever the gentleman, Arthur. Linda is a lucky woman." She smiled. "Have a good evening all."

Arthur watched as she disappeared out the door before taking his seat again. He lifted his watch from his pocket and eyed the time. "Drink up lads. We've got a long night ahead of us."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The car pulled up on the cobbled street. Its headlights illuminating the road up ahead.

"You wait here." Michael spoke from the back seat. His eyes were emotionless and focused. "I'll do the killing. That's a fuckin' order."

He got out of the car and made his way towards the church, his mind was whirring around at the thought of going through with it, but he knew he had to. He wanted to. He craved it. He contemplated the actions of his cousins right at that particular moment. Tommy would be underground, somewhere under the Thames, forcing his way towards the Russians underground vault. Arthur and John were lining train tracks with explosives as per the priests orders. He knew he was tight on time. If he could kill the priest in time, he could get word to Arthur and John to abandon the explosion and save the lives of those on the train. Michael pushed open the door slowly, his gun held down by his side and his breathing laboured. As he made his way inside, his arm flew up pointing the gun directly at the priest as he appeared in the room. Michael made his way towards him, the metal of the cylinder almost pressed to the priests forehead. Narrowing his eyes, Father Hughes looked him over, sensing his nervousness straight away.

"What do you think you're doin', boy?"

Michael clenched his teeth together and forced the gun against Hughes' eye socket, causing his head to fall back. He lifted his hands up by his sides and let out a gasp.

"Please don't. Please don't shoot."

A noise sounded behind him, causing Michael to become briefly distracted, but it was just enough for the priest to turn the tables on him. Taking his opportunity, his hand flew up against the gun, causing Michael to fall to the floor. Hughes' anger raged as he continued to kick his foot forcibly into Michael's side before pulling him up by his jacket lapels and wrapping his fingers tightly around his neck, rocking him back and forth against the table he had him over. Michael's eyes widened as his breathing became more and more laboured, but just as the priest thought he had overcome him, he pulled the small blade from his coat and slashed it across his face, causing him to release his grip and fall backwards. Michael got to his feet, blade still in hand, and hovered over the fallen priest. At that, noises sounded behind him and the men from the car rushed inside towards them, pointing their guns down at Hughes. Michael automatically put his hand out to them.

"No! This bastards mine." His teeth clenched and he could feel the veins in his forehead throb. "Go and call Finn!"

As the men made their way back outside, Michael knelt down to the priest who was still lying on the ground. He grasped the knife once more and pulled it cleanly across his exposed throat, his free hand still placed down on his shoulder, keeping him held to the ground. Jubilation and satisfaction rushed through him as he fell against the wall, as though he finally had justice.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a cold January afternoon and the sky was overcast, allowing no blue skies to show. Tommy pulled his car up in the field, feeling utterly exhausted from all the activities of the last few days and to be honest, he couldn't wait for the business with the Russians to be over. It was more than enough hassle and had caused him more problems than he cared to think about. Grasping the woven bags in his hands, he made his way along the wet dirt track towards the Duchess. She was stood in front of her car, looking as out of place as ever in her fancy clothes and full make up. She was grasping a large suitcase in both hands and a man was sat at the side of the road with a small desk in front of him. Saying nothing, Tommy dropped the bags on the table, as the Duchess explained the purpose of him being there. He handed her a cigarette before placing one in his lips.

"Its been a pleasure doing business with you these past few months." She exclaimed, taking a drag of the cigarette. "You would never steal from your family, would you? The collection was mostly my mothers anyway. It was more mine than theirs, and they would never have sold it. They would have wasted it on a lost cause."

"You needed a tunnel." He finally spoke. "I need your signature to make the sale legal."

She lifted the suitcase onto the table which he opened, flicking through the large amount of notes inside. "Where will you go?"

"Vienna. There's a man waiting for me."

He scoffed. "Poor man."

"You?"

"Birmingham. I'm going to buy a racehorse. Have it trained." He finally looked up at her as he closed the case and lifted it off the table. He extended his hand out to her, which she took, taking a step towards him and removing his cigarette from his mouth. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips before returning the cigarette to its original place. He looked at her with brief confusion before turning on his heel and beginning to walk away.

"Also." She called after him. "Five thousand pounds for the sex."

He stopped in his tracks and removed his cigarette once more, before turning back to her and counting out the money.

"And five for helping you get over your wife." She added.

Sneering at her, he closed the suitcase again and locked it. Stepping towards her, he shook his head. "You didn't even come close."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Polly paced the floor of her office, cigarette in hand, providing the only small bit of comfort she had. Her worry at the activities Michael had become involved in were almost too much for her to handle. Somehow, it felt different to seeing her nephews carry out this dangerous work. They were brought up in the business. They knew it inside out, and understood how it worked. She'd not long had Michael back in her life, and the thought of losing him again so suddenly was heart wrenching. Her eyes fell on the open doorway as she heard the familiar sound of the main door opening and closing again. Waiting patiently, she watched as a shadow appeared across the wall opposite her.

"Oh, Sara. It's just you."

Turning to face the direction of the voice, amusement crept over Sara's face at the greeting. "Nice to see you. Too, Pol."

Polly waved her hand. "I thought it might be Michael."

"What gave me away?" Sara laughed as she made her way towards the open office. "Tea?"

Stubbing the cigarette out in the nearby ashtray, Polly rounded her desk and followed. Taking a seat, she watched as Sara poured the freshly boiled tea. They sat in silence for a few minutes, nursing the hot cups.

"I'm worried about Michael." Polly finally spoke.

Sara looked up at her. Her blonde hair fell slightly across her eyes, almost covering the emerald shine which lay beneath. She lifted her hand and tucked the stray hairs behind her ear. "For what ever reason?"

"He wants to be more like his cousins. More like Thomas. But there is no other man like Thomas. And I worry that he's getting in too deep." She admitted, honestly.

"You know the boys won't allow any harm to come to him." Sara took a quick drink. "They won't let him get involved if they don't think he can handle it."

Polly nodded. "I just don't want him thinking that this is a proper way of life. It isn't what I had planned for him. I keep passing by the Cunard office and each time, I think I'll just go in. I could take him somewhere. Somewhere far away from here, where he doesn't need to live this life."

"He's twenty one Polly. I know you want to keep him safe, but the more you try to keep him under lock and key, the more he'll retaliate." She answered, probably a bit too honestly, given Pollys watchful gaze.

"You don't understand." She stated, matter of factly.

"Perhaps not." Sara sensed the tension between them, taking the decision to stop the conversation, unwilling for an argument to break out between them. She took the last drink of her tea and placed the cup down. Standing up, Polly made her way around the table and lifted the now empty cups as Sara reached over and lifted Tommys whisky bottle. It wasn't like her to drink in the middle of the day, but the last few weeks had proven more than stressful. She poured a glass and slumped back into her chair. Looking up, she sensed that Polly had stopped beside her. "What's wrong?"

Placing the cup back down on the desk. Polly turned to her, lifting the glass from her hand and throwing the liquid down her own throat.

"What are you doing?" Sara asked, ready to reach over and pour another drink.

Polly placed her hand on top of hers, pausing her actions. "Stop drinking whisky. Switch to stout. If you see Michael, tell him I need to speak with him. Then go and see a doctor about that baby in your leaves."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara poured a large glass of whisky and placed it on the dining room table. Dinner was being kept warm and she had dismissed the staff for the evening. She sat in the chair alongside Tommy's at the head of the table and awaited his return. Lifting the jug of water, she poured a glass and took a drink. Her body tensed at the loud slam of the front door signalling her husbands arrival. She waited patiently as his footsteps grew louder, lifting her head as he entered the room. His presence was electric and radiated around the room. Taking long strides, he lifted his cap from his head as he made his way towards her, pausing to plant a kiss on her forehead. She smiled up at him as he released her and signalled for him to take the seat beside her.

"Where's Mary or Frances?" He asked as he pulled his coat off and placed it over the back of another chair.

"I gave them the night off."

"Is that right?" he chuckled. "Lady of the manor right here."

Making a face at him, Sara watched as he took his seat. "They arranged dinner beforehand." She explained, indicating to the platter in front of him. He lifted the lid from the cloche, his mouth salivating at the food. It was then he realised it had been days since he had properly eaten. As they made their way through their meal, Tommy glanced up at her, trying to read the expression on her face. Placing his cutlery down, he turned his body to face her.

"What's this all about Sara?"

She looked up at him, startled by his observation. "What do you mean?"

"Well clearly, there's something on your mind. I can tell. You're fidgeting. You've barely sat still since I got home. So rather than drag it out, why not just tell me." He tilted his head briefly.

She said nothing, choosing to continue with her meal. Tommy sighed, lifted his empty glass and got to his feet, making his way over to the side table to lift the decanter and another glass. Bringing them back to the dining table, he sat back down and poured out the two glasses of whisky, pushing one across to his wife. She stared down at it for a few seconds before pushing it away. Noticing her reaction, he took a quick drink before placing his hand down on hers, grasping it and intertwining his fingers through hers. He rubbed the pad of his thumb across the back of her hand, urging her to talk to him.

"I shouldn't drink that." She explained, lifting her head up to meet his gaze. She studied him intently as he considered her words.

"Why not?" he asked, honestly.

She gave him a brief smile as she tightened her grip on his hand. "The doctors advise against it."

Tommy's lips parted briefly as he took in what she was saying. It took a couple of seconds for his brain to catch up and process the information but as it did, realisation crept in and before he knew what he was doing, he had removed himself from his chair and knelt down beside her. His other hand came up to her and grasped their hands together.

"Are you pregnant?"

She glanced up at him through her thick hair. Her emotions had been in overdrive since Polly had read her tea leaves the week earlier and had to admit, she'd found it incredibly difficult to keep the information from those around her, particularly Tommy. She didn't want to get his hopes up at the mere mention of children. And the fact her only knowledge had been from an old gypsy tradition, she wasn't willing to risk his happiness until she'd had it confirmed by a doctor. Taking advantage of the fact Thomas had been away to London on business for the last few days, she'd managed to arrange appointments in the privacy of her own home. And now, having received the confirmation that afternoon, she couldn't wait to let him in on her secret. It had been ten long months since the loss of their baby, and despite her elation at expecting again, she couldn't prevent the worry and anxiety she felt that something would go wrong again. The only thing keeping her relatively positive was the fact she knew the priest was gone. And this time, she had no doubts about keeping the baby. This time, she wasn't alone in a hotel room in London. She was married, and living in a beautiful home with a man who worshipped her. Surely nothing could go wrong this time?


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

 **A/N – Hi all, sorry for the slight delay in updating. I lost track a little bit with this story and needed to think about where I was going with it. You'll notice I've shifted the timeline of the story a bit and pulled some scenes in early Season 3 and altered them slightly to fit in with my storyline. I wasn't going to include certain storylines but I've changed my mind!** **?** **Hope you enjoy! As always, please leave me a little review and let me know what you think! Thanks to everyone who have reviewed, favourited and followed already!**

"Arthur, what the fuck happened?" Thomas raged, storming through the parlour doors. Arthur sat, slumped on a nearby chair, wincing in pain as John pressed a damp towel to his head.

"Fuck all Tom." He grumbled.

"Fuck all nothing. John, what happened to him?" Thomas demanded, hovering above him and pulling the towel away to examine the injury underneath. Arthur's greying hair was stained crimson and sticky with caked on blood. Thomas didn't need to be a doctor to see that his injuries were severe. Arthur was clinging onto his side where his light grey jacket was also stained red.

"Changretta."

Thomas' head snapped up to meet John's remorseful gaze. "What the fuck did you do?"

"We burnt down his restaurant." John admitted. "He's been gettin' close to Lizzie. We did a background check on him. He has connections with our enemies Tom. We warned Lizzie to stay away from him, but she wouldn't fuckin' listen. So we sent him a warning."

"A fuckin' warning." Thomas spat with laughter. "Well clearly that fuckin' worked! And now, he's done this. Well, clearly I need to be clearer with our warnings."

"Tom, you've enough to be dealin' with. Get home to Sara. We'll deal with this."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara curled her toes as she sat in front of the roaring fire in the library. She looked around, taking in her surroundings. It didn't matter how many hours she spent in this room, it was by far her favourite in the house, and she spent as much time as possible in it. Thomas had ensured it was stocked full of all the classics that she had loved to read as a child. She had recounted stories of how she had spent time with her neighbour on the odd occasions she had been able to sneak out of her house. He had taken to reading her 'Little Women' which she found fascinating. She loved hearing the stories of the four sisters and she couldn't help but shed a tear as Beth's health deteriorated. He used that book to teach her how to read and she always had fond memories whenever she picked it up. As she closed the cover over again, she smiled to herself. Glancing up at the clock, she realised it was getting late. She had somehow hoped that since Thomas had found out about her pregnancy, he would be home more often, yet it didn't seem to be that way. She still found herself spending many an evening alone. Running her hand gently over the silk draped fabric of the elaborate dress she wore, she allowed her fingertips to rest on her slightly swollen abdomen. Looking down to the dress, she took in the beautiful fabric as it rested over legs. Despite the fact her situation had changed so dramatically in the last few years, her surroundings were very much the same. She lived with fancy things, large houses, chauffeur driven cars and life wasn't too different from her elder years spent in Manhattan. But, her life with Tommy was exciting. Dangerous even. She thought back to her first journey across the Atlantic. This was what she wished for when she had been standing upon the boat deck of the large ship. And now she had it. She just wished she had him here to spend it with.

"Sara?" The door swung open, allowing the warmth that had been storing up for some time, to disappear in a second. Sara shivered, pulling down the blanket which was draped over the back of the couch she was sitting on. Throwing it over her legs, she looked up as Tommy strode into the room, his typical cigarette hanging seductively from his lips. Sara looked him over and took in his steely expression. She could understand why he turned heads wherever he went. He had an aura around him which screamed power, wealth and sex. He was hard to resist and sometimes she couldn't believe she was married to him. Watching him as he stepped closer to her, their eyes met as he leant down towards her. His smile reached his eyes as he took her in. As he kissed her, his hand automatically rested on her stomach, feeling the warmth which radiated through the fabric. "How are you?"

"Better now you're home." She admitted, trying hard to ignore the fresh blood on his forehead, a persistent reminder of his line of work.

"I had to deal with a few things." He offered her no further explanation, choosing to turn and make his way to the nearby table to pour a drink.

Sara nodded, swinging her feet down to the ground and standing up. "I'm tired. I can go to bed now you're finally home." She didn't wait for any response from him, making her way out into the hallway and closing the door behind her, leaving Tommy in no doubt as to her feelings.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Arthur stood with his hands clasped in front of him, a smirk on his face. "You asked for a meeting out in the open. Fresh air and the fine aroma of shit." He was flanked by Isiah and Finn while John sat, relaxed on the wooden chair. A table was set out in front of them with china crockery, almost as if they were getting ready for a tea party.

Vincente Changretta made his way to the table. "Where is Thomas?"

"He got called away." John told him.

"He said he'd be here."

"Yeah he's busy." Arthur looked away from the man, playing with a few of the hairs of his moustache.

"I just told you he got called away. Whatcha want?" John asked again, irritation clear in his voice.

"There has been a peace, between the Peaky Blinders and the Changretta family for two years now." He spoke, his Italian accent clear for all to hear. We want an explanation."

"Explanation for what?"

John's lackadaisical attitude irritated Changretta as he denied any knowledge of burning their restaurant down. "You burnt it down. You are such big boys now. But once, you borrowed clothes from us to look like men. Please tell Tommy that we pay him whatever he asks us to pay. We stay out of the city and off the tracks. But…" The mans slight smile disappeared as he leaned towards them. "You tell him from me, that my son, will walk with any woman in this city. Any woman he chooses. Even if that woman, works for the Emperor Thomas Shelby. My son is in love…"

Interrupted by Johns smirk of laughter, he turned towards him. "Excuse me. Carry on." John continued to try to supress his laughter.

"…and if he wishes, he will walk with the woman he loves."

"You know." John reached forward and lifted the teapot, pouring some of the liquid into a nearby cup. "It'll be hard for your son to walk anywhere with a bullet in each knee, wouldn't it?"

Recognising the thinly veiled threat, Changretta straightened himself back up. "Too much. You said too much, my friend. Sabini says 'suck and swallow' but no, too much." He spat at the ground in their direction and stormed away. His anger now clear as one of his henchmen proceeded to smash up a nearby chair.

"Isiah." Arthur called over his shoulder. "Put two extra men on our pubs in Nechells."

"What you talking about Arthur? We're not scared of fucking eyeties any more."

Arthur got to his feet. "Don't tell Tommy about the chair and clear this fucking shit up."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Walking through the long dark corridor, Thomas held the lantern at his side, providing limited light as he made his way further into the abandoned warehouse. As he appeared through the doorway, his eyes fell upon the semi naked man tied to an old wooden chair. Arthur stood at his side, his head tilted down and John stood lurking nearby in the shadows. Placing the lantern down, Thomas walked back in front of the man, removing his trademark cap. His hair was messy underneath and he looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks. Removing his coat and jacket and hanging them up on the back of the empty chair, Thomas' anger began to build. He held within his fingertips a small folded piece of paper. Ignoring the Italian prayers the man was murmuring, Thomas sat down on the chair and pulled it close to him so their knees were almost touching.

"Do you know what time it is, old man?" he asked, leaning his elbow across his right knee. "I'll tell ya."

Thomas pulled out his pocket watch and glanced down at it. "Its after seven in the evening. And I am gonna keep you alive until it gets light. I won't deliver the final cut, until we both can hear the blackbirds singing outside. It's a beautiful sound. Which, according to this…" Thomas held up the letter. "Is a sound that you threatened my wife would never hear again."

Thomas had chosen not to let onto Sara about the letter. What worried him was that when it had arrived, it bore no postmark. It had no stamp. Telling him clearly, that whoever had delivered it, had been at Thomas' home. Sara had been unwell with severe sickness for the last few weeks and had struggled to get out of bed. The thought of her being home alone, unable to move or to defend herself should anyone come who meant her harm, shook him to his very core. To think Changretta or one of his henchmen had been at his front door, made him ill. The content of the letter left him in no doubt that they meant his wife harm and he was determined to do anything he could to protect her. If that meant gunning for the matriarch of the Changretta family, then so be it. Getting to his feet, Thomas signalled to John. His younger brother appeared by his side with a large wooden box. Opening it up, he pulled out one of the knives.

"Now, I'm gonna have to choose carefully. Which part of you, I cut away first." He hung over the top of the man who was still mumbling. "Open your eyes."

Patience was getting the better of him and his voice raised significantly. "Open your eyes! Or I will cut away your fuckin eyelids!"

He finally obeyed, opening his eyes but keeping them looking down.

"Now look at me. Look at me." Thomas leaned down in front of him so their eyes were level. "This is the end. This is the end."

He was so close to Vincente Changretta, he could feel his breath against his cheeks. Cold air exhaled from his mouth as he quietly whispered to himself. "It was your tongue that gave the order." He reached up and clasped his chin with his gloved hand. "I'll take your tongue first. Then I'll take your ears. Then I'll take your fingers and your fucking toes. Shall I take your balls first. You drain too fast like you fuckers do."

John stood at the side, his head slightly bowed as he looked over to Arthur. He didn't make eye contact, choosing to keep watching Thomas. John had struggled with this since he had pulled Changretta from Liverpool docks, leaving his wife broken hearted under the pier. He had disobeyed Thomas' orders, but he couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger on his former teacher.

"I'll take your tongue first." Thomas continued. He grasped at the mans mouth and chin, trying to pry his lips apart. "If I take your tongue, you won't be able to explain." His nerve was wavering, and he pulled Changretta to his chest, holding his head tightly to him, almost tenderly. The brothers watched as Thomas let him go. He shook his head and turned on his heel, walking the length of the warehouse, eventually dropping down to the ground. "Come on Tommy." He encouraged himself, standing back up straight. Turning back around, he made his way back to Changretta.

"I forget who I am." He spoke with realisation, approaching with the knife still in his hand. "I forget who I am. I'm a blinder, I'll take your fuckin eyes first!"

Before he could take a further step, the gunfire screamed through the room and the smell of gunpowder hit Thomas' nostrils almost immediately. Surprised, he looked in the direction of the noise and his eyes fell upon the outreached arm of Arthur.

"I heard the blackbirds sing." He spoke, eyes firmly on Tommy who continued staring down at Changretta, his eyes unblinking.

"And we let his wife board the immigrant ship to New York. We didn't kill Mrs Changretta." John admitted.

"Tonight. We're not those kind of men." Arthur took a few steps towards him, finally lowering his gun, reaching down and taking the knife from Tommy's hand.

Finally snapping out of his daze, Thomas ran his sleeve across his face. "You get rid of the body John. Get rid of those. For good." Leaving his younger brother behind, he lifted his discarded coat and jacket and made his way out of the warehouse.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thomas' head was a mess as he finally pulled up at the top of his driveway. He sat for a few minutes with his arms placed across the steering wheel. Looking up at the house, his eyes fell upon his bedroom window and he was surprised to see a light shining out through the glass. Keeping his eyes there, he watched intently as shadows cascaded across the wall. The shadow made its way closer to the window and Thomas was surprised to see Sara's image appear. Realising she was out of bed for the first time in days, he wasted no time in exiting the car and rushing towards the house. Swinging the front door open, Thomas took the staircase two steps at a time and ran across the upstairs landing like a hurricane, before finally pushing the bedroom door open, revealing Sara still standing at the large bay window. She glanced up as her husband appeared in front of her. His eyes drank in the sight of her and she was a welcome distraction to the events of the evening. Dressed in a cream thigh length slip, the moonlight radiated down on her and Tommy struggled to contain himself. Taking long strides, he stopped a foot before her.

"You look….."

"Shhh." She spoke, closing the gap between them and placing her index finger gently on his lips. "I feel as though you're slipping away from me Thomas. I feel as though I'm losing you."

He shook his head. "Never."

"I know you've been preoccupied lately. I know the business has been getting on top of you. And it doesn't help that I have felt so unwell recently."

"Don't you dare blame yourself." Thomas wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "You're not losing me. I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

Sara glanced up at him from under her eyelashes before allowing herself to be wrapped up in his embrace. Gently pushing him backwards, Thomas allowed her to guide him back towards their bed. "Are you sure? Are you alright?"

She smiled seductively at him. "I feel a lot better now you're home. Now, take me to bed Mr Shelby."


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

The pain ripped through her like a freight train. Her breathing was laboured and her eyes squeezed tightly shut as Polly placed a damp cold cloth across her forehead. She had been in this position for several hours, yet nothing seemed to be happening. As the most recent contraction tore through her body, she gripped tightly onto Polly's hand, only finally letting go as the pain started to subside.

"The doctor is on his way." Polly whispered, gently wiping the sweat beads from Sara's brow. "I still can't get hold of Thomas."

Sara sighed at this. She knew the business would likely interrupt a lot of their personal lives, but for Thomas to miss the birth of his first child absolutely killed her. What could possibly be more important than this? For once, Polly had no idea where Thomas was, and that fact that Arthur, nor John could be found either, wound her up incredibly. She had summoned for Michael and ordered him to find his cousin and not come back until he succeeded. And now, as she tried to calm the frantic woman lying next to her, irritation flew through her. Not that she didn't want to be part of this, but she was determined that Thomas would be also.

"Ada." She spoke to her niece who was sitting on a nearby chair. "Go downstairs and see if there's any word from Michael."

Nodding, Ada got to her feet, giving a brief smile to her friend, before disappearing downstairs. As she reached the bottom step, she was immediately startled by a knock on the door. Knowing it wouldn't be her brothers, she took a step towards it and slowly pulled the large wooden door open. "Hello Doctor. Come on in." She smiled, recognising the man immediately. "Mrs Shelby is upstairs."

Just as the man started to take the first few steps, a further scream sounded echoed around the house. The doctor quickly took the steps two at a time, making his way towards the noise and leaving Ada behind.

"Is Mrs Shelby alright? Do you need anything else, Mrs Thorne?"

Ada turned her head, coming face to face with Frances, the housekeeper. "We may need some extra sheets Frances. And I think Pol could do with a drink if you could bring a bottle up. Could you also try and contact the office again? Find out where Thomas is."

Frances nodded, turning on her heel and disappearing out of sight, leaving Ada to start the walk back up the staircase alone. As she got to the top landing, another scream sounded out, and remembering back to her own birthing experience, she recognised that it wouldn't be too long before the little one made an appearance.

"Come on Tom. Where the hell are you." She thought to herself, making her way back to the bedroom. Knocking on the door, she waited patiently until it finally creaked open, revealing a tired looking Polly.

"Any word from him yet?" she asked.

Ada shook her head. "I've asked Frances to bring up some spare sheets and some whisky. Figured you might need it."

Smirking, Polly held open the door. "You stay with her for a while. I'll go downstairs."

As Ada started to step into the room, the loud noise of a door slamming vibrated through the hallway. Knowing immediately who it was, Polly pulled the bedroom door closed once Ada had stepped inside. Taking a few steps, she came face to face with her nephew.

"Where is she?" Tommy demanded.

"She's in the bedroom Thomas. Where else would she be? What I'd like to know, is where the fuck were you?"

"I was dealing with business Pol. Now let me past."

"You're not going in there Thomas. The doctor is with her just now. You can stay out here where you belong and wait. Like we've all had to do. I just hope whatever business it was, it was worth it. Because if I had to see that look of disappointment in her eyes one more time, you were a fuckin' dead man." She warned, her fingertip wagging precariously in front of his face.

Thomas' eyes flew to the closed door behind his Aunt as another scream tore through the air. "I need to be in there Pol."

She shook her head, glancing behind him as Frances appeared at the top of the stairs. "No, you need to be here. Waiting. Here, have a drink." She walked past him, taking the bottle from Frances' tray. "Just leave the sheets on the couch Frances."

Thomas turned as she poured out two glasses, thankfully throwing the liquid down his throat. He had to admit, the last few months had been nervewracking. Despite the different circumstances, he constantly felt that something was going to go wrong and he refused to believe everything would be alright until he felt the soft skin of his newborn baby in his arms. Removing his coat and jacket, he loosened his waistcoat and pulled his holster from his shoulders. Loosening his shirt and tie, he sat down on a nearby chair, accepting he could be in for a long wait. He could kick himself for dealing with business at a time like this. He knew it was likely that Sara could go into labour at any time, but he had convinced himself it wouldn't be that day. Instead, he had gone with Arthur and John to a nearby auction and picked up a new racehorse. Admittedly, he'd found himself back in Mrs Carleton's company at the auction. However, despite their previous dalliances, he knew at that point that he didn't feel anything for her. But he couldn't help feel guilty at the fact he had been spending time with her, when he should have been home, looking after his heavily pregnant wife.

"Hey, you're here now." Polly suddenly said, breaking the silence and somehow reading his thoughts.

"I should have been here hours ago Pol." He said, taking another drink.

"Perhaps." She admitted.

Another scream sounded through the house but this time, it was different. Thomas' head flew up and the crystal glass he had been holding fell to the floor. He got to his feet and started to make moves towards his bedroom door when a hand gripped his arm.

"Not yet Tom. Wait for Ada or the Doctor." She insisted.

A few minutes later, the door opened slowly, revealing his younger sister. Thomas' eyes were wide with anticipation as they fell from her face down to the bundle in her arms. Stepping cautiously towards her, he gazed down, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of the little one's face. Smiling, Ada held the baby out to him. His arms opened up without him realising, and he closed the gap between them.

"Meet your son, Tommy."

His eyes lifted back to her and she could see the light appear back within them. It was a light she hadn't seen for a long time. Not since before France. He gazed back down as he gently pulled his son towards him. The warmth radiating from his little body surged through Thomas' veins at lightening speed and he instantly felt the rush of love as he looked upon the small child. His skin was still red and blotchy and he hadn't yet been fully cleaned, but to Thomas, he was perfect. Polly moved slowly until she was standing beside her nephew.

"Well, he's a Shelby alright. Look at that fist." She laughed gently, looking down to the small clasped fingers.

Tommy rocked him gently in his arms, holding him close to his chest until the little boy let out a small yawn. Just as his mouth closed, his eyes gradually opened. A gasp sounded beside them as Polly clocked the bright blue irises hidden underneath his eyelids.

"A blue eyed babe. Just like his father." She smiled. "Go see your wife."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As he made his way into the bedroom, anticipation was building through him. The doctor was still hurrying around Sara and he couldn't yet lay his eyes on her.

"She's lost a lot of blood Mr Shelby."

The doctor turned to face him. Thomas cradled the young babe in his arms as he made his way towards the bed. His eyes drifted past the older man until they finally landed on his young wife, and immediately his breath caught in his throat. Her eyes were closed, and her skin was peaky, almost grey. He had never seen her looking so helpless.

"She'll make a full recovery, Mr Shelby. She just needs some time." The doctor gave him a brief smile. "But she needs you to take care of that little baby in the meantime. Some rest is the perfect medicine for her."

Thomas nodded, his eyes only drifting between his baby and wife. "Thank you doctor. If you see Polly, she'll make sure you get a stiff drink and something to eat."

The doctor nodded, lifting his coat and bag and making his way towards the door, leaving the new father to make his way over to the nearby bed. It was dark outside and the curtains hadn't been pulled. Moonlight shone through, illuminating the room in addition to the small lamps which were burning nearby. Perching on the side of the bed, Thomas gazed down at his son who had now burrowed his face into his warm embrace, his eyes had closed again and he was sleeping soundly. Satisfied he was settled, Thomas looked back upon his wife, lifting his hand and placing it on top of hers, gently rubbing it with his thumb. He sat like that for a few more moments before being distracted by the sound of the door opening. Turning his head briefly, his eyes fell upon his Aunt and sister.

"How is she?" Polly whispered.

"Tired. Doctor says she just needs to rest." Tommy replied. "Ada, go down and ask Frances to put on a pot of soup. Sara will need something nourishing when she awakens."

Nodding, Ada disappeared back out into the hallway leaving Thomas with his Aunt.

"You should go and get something to eat Thomas." She suggested. "Here, let me take him."

Allowing Polly to take the babe from his arms, he turned back towards Sara, gripping her hand gently. "I'm not hungry Pol. I want to be here when she wakes up."

"You don't know when that will be Thomas. You need to be alert when she does. And you're no good to her if you haven't had anything to eat or haven't had some sleep." Polly rocked the baby gently.

"Very well Pol. If it will keep you quiet." Thomas stated, half joking. He got to his feet and made his way back to the door. "Do you want me to take him?"

"No, no. I'm quite happy here with my great nephew. You just go and get something to eat."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mrs Shelby, you really should come inside. Its starting to get cool."

Sara looked up as Frances appeared at her side. She hadn't quite noticed the cool air which had descended down upon her. Dressed in her long navy day dress and coat, her sleeves had given her some protection against the breeze. Sitting upon one of the many benches Tommy had constructed around the grounds, she gently pushed the pram, rocking her little boy to sleep. She felt grateful for the brief moment of silence, having spent much of the last four months awake. Despite Thomas' insistence at them hiring a nanny, Sara had refused, insisting on being the ones who raised their child. But she had to admit, it hadn't been easy. Jack had cried almost constantly for at least the first month of his life and despite him settling somewhat, he still hadn't completely settled. He was wrapped up in a woollen knitted blanket that Polly had given them as a present. Feeling his cheeks and satisfied he was warm enough, Sara got to her feet and began pushing the pram back towards the main door. As she arrived on the driveway, the sound of crumbling gravel caused her eyes to drift down to the main gate, smiling as she saw Thomas' car pull up. Coming to a halt, Thomas jumped out and rushed around to them.

"What are you doing outside in this cold?" He scolded her playfully, knowing how much she enjoyed wandering around the grounds. "Come on, lets get inside."

Sara allowed him to take the pram from her, linking her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder.

"You know, its almost Christmas. We should think about our plans. Wouldn't it be lovely, if for Jack's first Christmas, all of the family were here." She smiled up at him.

"Wouldn't that just be lovely." He agreed. "I'll make the arrangements."

"Well hurry won't you. It's tomorrow." She reminded him.

Nodding, he followed Sara into the house, pausing as he reached the bottom of the staircase. Reaching inside, he lifted Jack carefully so as not to wake him. Cradling in his arms, he made his way back over to his wife and handed him over to her outstretched arms.

"You go and relax in the library. I'll bring a couple of drinks through."

Nodding, she turned and made her way there, leaving him behind.

"You had some mail today Mr Shelby." Frances appeared at the top of the staircase. "I've left them in your office."

"Thank you Frances. Can you fetch me a bottle of brandy and two glasses please. Oh and I need to speak with you about Christmas dinner. Mrs Shelby would like to have the family around."

"Very well sir."

Thomas lifted his cap from his head and made his way along to his office. Once he got there, he pushed open the door and allowed his coat to shrug off his shoulders. Hanging it up on the nearby coat hook, he proceeded to also remove his jacket before making his way over to his large mahogany desk. His eyes fell upon the pile of letters which Frances had left for him. Putting on his glasses, he picked them up, quickly flicked through them knowing that there likely wouldn't be anything of any importance considering most business mail went to the main office. As he glanced over them, his eyes fell upon one in particular which bore a post mark from the United States. Curious, he opened it up. Glancing over it. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell upon the large black imprinted hand on the inside of the card and the written words.

 _'_ _Merry Christmas to you and your family."_

 _Changretta._


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"Tommy! Whatever is wrong?" Sara furrowed her brow at Thomas' insistence that she brought Jack down into his study.

"Just stay here Sara. Keep an eye on Jack." He demanded, not looking her in the eye as he disappeared into the next room. When he was certain she couldn't hear him, he lifted the handset of the phone to his ear.

Xxxxxxxxx

"Arthur? Have you checked your post?" John's voice sounded down the phone to his eldest brother. "I've just been served the black hand."

Arthur felt his heart stop, but he knew he couldn't make any sound. He couldn't do anything to alert Linda to the situation. He had left her in the sitting room with Ada when the phone had rung. Of all the messages he would have expected to get, this was certainly the last thing on his mind. Thomas had contacted John first and instructed him to speak with the others and warn them. He knew it was imperative for them to be together and being isolated all across the county would leave them vulnerable. But it had to be in Small Heath. They needed to go back. They were protected there. Where they were situated now, they were sitting ducks, waiting to be picked off, one by one.

Xxxxxxxxxx

That evening, Sara sat by Jack's cot, gently singing to soothe him to sleep. Tommy had instructed several of the servants to bring his cot down from the bedroom to the living room where he could keep an eye on them. However, at this moment, Sara was alone, utterly confused at the turn of events. Earlier that day, they had been planning Christmas and now, it was as though he was shutting her out, yet again. He could hear muffled voices coming from his study but she couldn't make out anything he was saying. Sara was aware Ada had come to visit, and despite how good friends they were, she hadn't yet spoken with her since she had arrived. The last few months had been difficult with Ada spending much of her time overseeing the family business in Boston which meant very limited time for them to spend together, and now that she was here, Sara wanted some time with her friend, but Tommy and business was quickly putting a stop to that. Shaking her head, she turned back to her gargling baby boy who was staring up at her and started to sing again.

Xxxxxxxx

"So boss, in light of the changed circumstances, what are you orders?" Ada leaned over the back of the chair, looking up at her brother.

"Changretta knows where we all live. If we stay out in the open, isolated, he'll pick us off one by one. We need to be together in a place where even they won't dare to come."

"You mean back home?" the shock was clear on Ada's face.

Thomas nodded. "Within a four mile radius of the Garrison, every man is a guard or a soldier for us. I'm calling a family meeting. Charlie Strong's yard, Boxing Day. Finn's already there. You tell Polly and Michael. I'll deal with John and Arthur."

"And Esme and Linda?" She questioned.

"Anyone who wants to live to see another Christmas needs to come to where its safe. These bastards will kill kids as well." His voice raised. "And Ada, not a fucking word to Sara."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The phone continued to ring out as Tommy tried desperately to get in touch with John. He looked up at the clock. It was just after ten pm. He had just checked on Sara and was satisfied to see she had fallen asleep on the couch with Jack sleeping soundly in the cot beside her. Frustration was starting to build up in him as he tried John again, to no avail. Picking up the phone again, Thomas waited on the operator.

"Yes, put me through to Maypole 2 4 5"

"Hello?" Arthur's gruffly voice sounded on the other end of the phone.

"Arthur, its Tommy." He spoke with some sense of relief at being able to get in touch with one of his brothers.

"Be quick. They're asleep."

"Family meeting. Charlie's yard. Boxing Day, midday. I can't raise John, but I'll send Michael to get him. If you have to pull a gun on Linda, do it. Merry Christmas." He spoke quickly before hanging up the phone.

Xxxxxxxxxx

As the night began to wear on, Thomas took his seat in his study. His head was pounding as he tried to work at his desk. The light was dim and the fire burned away beside him. The sound of footsteps on the hardwood floor followed by the brief knock disturbed him. He knew it wasn't his wife as she would certainly never knock so resonating that it could only be the housekeeper, he didn't lift his eyes form the papers in front of him.

"Come."

She appeared in the doorway and took candid steps into the room. "I'm really sorry to bother you again sir, but Chef insists on knowing what time the guests will arrive."

Tommy sighed, removing his glasses irritatingly. This would be the second time Frances had bothered him about this since he had passed on his wife's instructions about having the family around for Christmas dinner. And given the change in events, this was now the last thing he could be bothered dealing with. "Frances, for the last time. Its Johnny Dogs. They're gypsies. They're camped down by the river. When they're ready, they'll walk up. Alright?"

"He says its about preparation Sir." She hated this as much as he did. She had spent long enough in the Shelby house to know when he was stressed, and it was driving her crazy being the go between.

"What is?" Thomas asked.

"He's asked specifically. Will they arrive before the King's speech, or after?"

Tommy's eyes narrowed and his hands clenched together. "You said he was new, this chef. When did he join us?"

"October." She answered.

"October." Tommy repeated, leaning back in his chair. "And he's foreign?"

"He's Italian sir."

"Oh." Tommy's ears pricked up at this information. It all seemed to coincidental.

"He's the best chef we've ever had in the house." She continued. "No shouting or swearing or blaspheming."

"Do we have his references?" Tommy questioned.

"Yes. The only problem has been his assistant." She looked worried.

"What assistant?"

"He brought an assistant with him. Calls him his sous chef."

Thomas's fist clenched slightly. He felt anger raise up inside him. After spending so much time trying to protect his family, he had unwittingly allowed trouble into his own house, easily endangering the lives of his wife and baby son. "Are they still working Frances?"

She nodded. "They will be there till midnight sir."

He thought for a few seconds before turning back to her. "Right. Thank you. Good night. You can go to bed."

She smiled briefly. "Merry Christmas sir."

As she left, Thomas got to his feet and made moves towards a large cupboard at the other side of the room. Searching through the folders, he eventually came to the right one. Placing it back down on his desk, he opened it up and began rifling through the papers until he eventually came to the letters of reference. Automatically, his eyes fell on the letter heading.

 _San Marco's_

He recognised it immediately as belonging to Sabini. No longer willing to hold back, Thomas placed the papers back in the folder and made his way along to the living room. Taking quiet steps inside, he made his way over to the cot. Gazing down, a small smile formed on his face as his son wriggled in his sleep, his arms out stretched above his head. Shifting his gaze to his left, his eyes landed on the sleeping form of his wife lying peacefully on the couch. She shuddered slightly and it was only then he noticed the crumpled blanket lying on the floor. Picking it up, Thomas gently draped it over her before placing a gentle kiss on her temple. Not wanting to risk waking them, he quickly made his way back to the door, stealing one final glance at them before stepping into the hall and closing the door behind him. He was thankful the kitchen was downstairs and at the other end of the house as he didn't want Sara to stumble upon him. His footsteps echoed on the staircase as he made his way down to the kitchen. The staff briefly acknowledged him as he entered. It was only then that Thomas realised he didn't actually know anyone who worked in his kitchen. Stepping up to the first man, he asked his name.

"Max, Mr Shelby." His strong English accent clear to hear.

Satisfied he wasn't the one he was looking for, Thomas patted him on the shoulder and turned his attention to the man sitting at the back of the room next to a large bucket of potatoes.

"Its alright, don't get up." Thomas spoke facetiously.

The man, sensing his error, got to his feet and pulled his cigarette from his mouth, stubbing it out on the ground. As he did so, Thomas looked him over. His sallow skin, dark hair and moustache set him on edge immediately.

"You're new. I'm Mr Shelby."

"Hello Sir." The man smiled, his hands clasped behind his back.

"I haven't taken time to introduce myself."

"Antonio." The man responded.

Thomas glanced down at the bucket of potatoes. "What have you done that's so wrong eh?"

"Excuse me?" he said, shaking his head, not understanding the point.

"A sous chef peeling potatoes."

Antonio smirked. "Its an emergency. Late notice."

Glancing around, Tommy's eyes fell back upon the sous chef. "Oh late notice. Right well, carry on." He started to walk towards the back room of the kitchen before turning back. "Antonio…here. Ten pound. For the late notice." He handed him the note, carefully gauging his reaction. But there was none, other than a brief nod. Satisfied he had the man he was looking for, Thomas made his way back to the next room where the chef was preparing the geese for Christmas dinner. Closing the door behind him, Thomas made his way into the dimly lit room.

"You wanted to know if my guests would arrive before or after the Kings speech, eh?." He watched as the chef lifted the bird across the room, not saying a word. "It'll be after."

As the chef began sharpening his knives, Thomas stepped in front of the table. "How are you?"

"Oh, just worried about tomorrow." He answered, his Italian accent clear.

"Yeah? I'm worried about Antonio."

The chef shrugged and continued on with his work. "You've been here two months and we've not met before. It's my fault. I've been busy. Thomas Shelby." He stated, holding out his hand.

Glancing down at it, the chef hesitated. "My hand has blood."

"Oh mine too." Thomas smirked. As they shook hands, Thomas pulled him closer. "Hey, how much do you pay Antonio?"

"I forget."

"Must be a lot. I just gave him ten pound. Didn't mean a fucking thing to him." Thomas accused. "Or maybe it isn't you that pays him."

Letting go of his hand, Thomas stepped away. "I've been reading up on you. Bertorelli's. Claridge's. You used to work at a place called San Marco's, on Fleet Street. I used to know the man that owned San Marco's. A man called Darby Sabini."

The chef shook his head. "I never met him."

"No. Maybe your assistant, Antonio, maybe he's met him." As he tried to walk away, Thomas was fast on his feet and reached up, wrapping his hand around his throat and slamming him against the nearby wall. "Here's how it is. Antonio was sent from New York. Darby Sabini facilitated. He passed him onto you and told you to bring him into my house. They threatened to kill you if you didn't do it. You want me to dress you like you dressed that fucking stag? You know about me right?"

As the man pleaded with him, he nodded.

"You know what I do. You wanted to know when my guests would arrive because Antonio needed me alone. He's an assassin. The plan is to kill me tomorrow."

He shook his head, gasping for breath under Thomas' tight grip. "They just said bring him here."

Letting go, Thomas stepped away. "Well bring him here."

Knowing he had no choice, the chef tried to catch his breath before shouting through. "Antonio!"

Thomas stood at the side of the door way, awaiting the entrance of the elusive Antonio, a metal hook in his hand. He took a deep breath as the door opened and footsteps sounded. At the sound of his voice directly beside Thomas, he sprung out from behind the wall, plunging the hook into Antonio's shoulder, yanking him across the room, and throwing him across a table of bloody meat. Hauling him back onto the table face down, Thomas pulled out his gun, forcing it onto Antonio's temple.

"You are a black hand! You are a black hand! How many came from New York? How many fuckin' came from New York?"

Shouting in Italian, Thomas was getting extremely irritated and pointed the gun up to the chef. "What did he say? Was it a curse or a number? What did he fucking say? What did he fucking say?"

"He said fuck you!" The chef shouted over the noise.

"Yeah?" Thomas pointed the gun back down to Antonio's temple and pulled the trigger, ignoring the blood now caking his clothes and skin. He allowed the body to drop onto the floor before making his way back to the cowering chef and pointing the gun at him. "The black hand means kill or be killed. You go back to London. You tell Darby Sabini he picked the wrong side in this war. Once we've dealt with the Americans, we'll come for him. Go on. Go! Oi! You tell anyone else, I'll come and find you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

The gloominess of Small Heath greeted her as though she'd never left. As they arrived back at the house on Watery Lane, Sara pulled her long black shawl tightly around her body. Her husband sat next to her, holding Jack tightly in his lap. He reached over to attempt to hold her hands which sat firmly in her lap but she batted him away, refusing to make eye contact. She knew that if she looked at him, all of the emotions she had building up inside of her would come flooding out and she wasn't willing to appear vulnerable in front of him. She couldn't stomach the fact that John was gone and Thomas was well aware of this. They had grown close over the years. He was the one who had persuaded her to come back when she had first arrived in Small Heath. He reassured her that Thomas needed her in his life. If it wasn't for him, she would likely still be living in London with James, miserable and alone. Her heart suddenly felt empty at the fact he was no longer there and she couldn't help but feel as though her husband was partly to blame for his death. Although, this was something she couldn't be one hundred percent sure on, and he still refused to tell her exactly why John had been gunned down at his own front door. Esme had taken it badly, as one could expect. She had taken the children and fled and Sara couldn't be sure if she would ever see them again. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car and made her way towards the door, ignoring her husband as she went. Stepping inside, she went straight upstairs to Thomas' old room and collapsed onto the bed, facing the wall, continuing to ignore Thomas as he sat down beside her. Placing Jack back in his pram, Thomas walked back towards the door, closing it behind him and heading downstairs where the family were waiting.

 **A/N - I'm sorry for the delay in updating. Its been a bit hectic here! And I'm sorry for the slight filler chapter here. Hoping to get the next chapter out shortly and planning a little twist!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"Mr Shelby, thank god you're back."

Thomas made his way purposely through the factory, throwing away his cigarette as he was met by a panicked Niall Devlin.

"What meetings do I have today?"

He lifted the pieces of paper and began flicking through them. "Erm, well there's a supplier from Coventry at ten, the convenor of the boilermakers Union at eleven and then the Chamber of Commerce at one. But that isn't the thing…."

Thomas lit another cigarette as he listened. "Right, clear a space here, move this car back and then one hundred feet of rope and a bell."

"Rope?" Devlin asked, confused.

"Yep, and a bell."

"Mr Shelby, this place is about to explode." He warned.

"Rope and a bell Devlin. Bonnie, this way." Thomas confirmed, indicating to the young man behind him, ignoring the stark warning Devlin was trying to impart.

Thomas continued walking through the factory with Aberama Gold and his son following closely behind until he reached Billy Mills, a man on his payroll known for his skills in the boxing ring. The fight back against the Italians had begun and despite the families protests, Thomas had enlisted the support of Gold, at a cost. As if he didn't have enough to worry about, the threat of strikes within his factories had continued to grow and he knew Jessie Eden was breathing down his neck. Not only that, in the few days since they had arrived back in Small Heath, his wife had barely spoken two words to him. He suspected she blamed him for Johns death and the fact Michael was holed up in the hospital. Much the same as Polly was doing. The family meeting which secured the peace between the Shelby clan had gone as well as could be expected but he was well aware that Polly continued to blame him for her son's current situation. If only he had managed to get hold of John. He might still be alive and Michael would have had no reason to be at the farmhouse. His vendetta against the Italians was growing by the minute and he knew he wouldn't stop until Luca Changretta was dead, no matter the consequences.

After speaking with Billy Mills and convincing him to fight the young Gold lad, Thomas made his way back to an open area of the factory where Devlin had successfully arranged the set up of a make shift boxing ring. Arthur was in the middle, his unmistakeable voice ringing out around the room as he secured bets on the fight. The bell sounded and the two men started circling the ring.

"The boy knows he can hit back right?" Arthur leaned over the Aberama Gold.

"I told him in the professional game, people want their money's worth. Don't win too fast." He confirmed. "But, if you've seen enough….finish him Bonnie!"

Hearing his fathers instructions, the young lad became a man possessed, raining punches down on the surprised Mills., landing one final blow which knocked him to the ground.

"Fuck me, that was a punch." Arthur smirked. "Whats he got, horseshoes in those gloves or what?"

"Nope." Aberama stated, stepping into the ring. "Just his dad's strength and his mothers temper."

Thomas took a few steps to the side, coming face to face with Bonnie. "Does he have fits?"

"No."

"Asthma?"

"No."

"How's he cut?" Arthur continued the interrogation.

"No ones cut him yet. But his skins thick." Aberama stood beside his son, eyeing up the two Shelby brothers in front of him.

"Does he drink?" Thomas asked.

"Porter. Sometimes."

"How many fights?" He continued.

"Twenty five bare knuckle, all knockouts. Five with gloves in pastures. All knockouts."

"Against Romany fighters?" Arthur questioned.

"That's why they won't let us in the fairs no more. He keeps winning."

Bonnie interjected. "I could fight a fucking tree and knock it out Mr Shelby." He stated confidently.

Arthur grinned at the confident young man in front of him. "I like him."

Devlin appeared behind them, interrupting the conversation briefly. "Mrs Eden's waiting upstairs."

"Alright, I'll be there in a minute." Thomas confirmed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After the fight, Thomas made his way up the stairs towards his office. He had another battle to deal with, and somehow, he knew this one wouldn't be easy to brush off. He pushed open the door to find Devlin standing there with the unmistakable Jessie Eden. Ignoring them, he made his way to the other end of the room, removing his coat and hanging it up.

"Mr Shelby." Her voice sounded around the office. "I understand you've had a bereavement."

 _Fuck sake._ He thought to himself. "I'm here to talk business."

"Then I'll be blunt."

"As will I." He responded, placing a cigarette in his mouth and taking a seat.

"What you're doing here is robbery." She stated, matter of factly.

Thomas brought his lighter up and lit the cigarette. "Every man is free to leave."

"You cut five shillings from the weekly wage."

"And you said, if I did that, you'd bring every man and woman in all my factories out on strike." He stated, still not looking her way.

"Yes."

"Do you have a whistle?" he finally turned his head to look at her. "If so, blow it."

"I thought at least we might have a discussion, as I do with other owners."

"I'm not other owners." His eyes had once again turned to face the windows which lined the full wall of his office.

"No. You believe because coal is expensive and its been a cold winter, and because wages have been cut over these past twelve months, you think cos of all that nobody will walk out on strike, cos no one can afford to." She folded her arms defensively. "And until recently, that would have been true. But something has changed this past year. A cold wind from the East. People are not afraid anymore."

"I have it on very good authority that the Bolsheviks couldn't organise a fucking picnic." He quipped, quoting his younger sister.

"You know Mr Shelby, its almost as if you want trouble." She smirked, taking a few steps to the side, her arms still crossed in defiance.

"If the rule of law in Birmingham were to break down during this period of turmoil for my family, then yes, that would indeed have its benefits. For reasons you could not understand." He took another drag of his cigarette.

"I've heard rumours. Sport between men."

He was growing increasingly impatient and irritated with her presence. "Just blow your fuckin' whistle, eh."

Left with no other choice, Jessie Eden gathered her things and exited his office, blowing her whistle as she went. Thomas continued to sit as he listened to the unmistakeable noise of his workers downing tools and making their way out of the factory. Eventually, he got to his feet and wandered out to the balcony, listening intently as the usual noise subsided. With nothing else to do, he made his way back to his office. After a while, there was a further knock at his door.

"Yeah, come in."

Devlin appeared, papers in hand. "I did say this would happen." He stated, closing the door behind him.

Thomas glanced up from his desk, exasperated at the comment. "Who's next?" He asked, choosing to ignore his feelings.

Devlin flicked through his papers. "Erm, he's a delegate from the European Council for Trade. He's here to talk about the import of car parts to France."

"Right."

"He's come all the way from Paris. But, given the circumstances, I can send him away." Devlin offered.

"Given what circumstances? Send him in." Thomas insisted, determined that Jessie Eden's wildcat strike wasn't going to prevent him doing any further business.

Rubbing his eyes in exasperation, Thomas awaited his visitor. He took a few steps towards the window and waited until he heard the sound of his door opening. Devlin appeared again with a tall, lean, well dressed gentleman walking slowly behind him.

"Mr Shelby, this is Monsieur Paz, from Paris."

Turning towards the door, Thomas eyed the man as he appeared and immediately, felt cautious. Something wasn't right. Something didn't feel right to him but he couldn't yet put his finger on it.

"I heard you had trouble." The man spoke as Devlin left, closing the door behind him. "Its good of you to see me."

If he wasn't cautious before, he definitely was now. The unmistakeable sound of the Italian accent assaulted his senses but he gave nothing away. His poker face stayed as it had and his fists were kept firmly within his trouser pockets. "You just came from Paris eh?"

The man unbuttoned his jacket and took a few steps to the side, pulling out a nearby chair and sitting down. "You know Paris?"

"I left Paris in a cattle truck." He stated. "They said you were French."

"No, I came here from Paris." He smirked. "That does not mean I'm French. Guess where I'm from."

Pulling his eyes away from the man opposite, Thomas reached towards his jacket hanging up and pulled out his cigarettes. "Well, in my cattle truck from Paris, there were American soldiers. We played cards. They sound like you."

Pulling a toothpick from his inside pocket, he leaned back in his chair. "Did you win?"

"You didn't come on a train. Your suit is pressed. Your shoes are clean. Where do you get your suits made?"

Grinning, he continued to poke the toothpick into his white, straight teeth. "I have a tailor. In New York City. Look…" He opened up his jacket, revealing the inside. "Fenacci. Italian. He's my uncle. He makes suits in a basement in Mott Street. He is my uncle, so every stitch is stitched with blood. I heard you dress well, Mr Shelby. But now I see, not so well as me."

Thomas turned slightly and tapped his cigarette on the nearby ashtray. "You know, I have uncles as well. But they're not the sort of men who would work in a basement with a needle and thread, Mr Changretta."

Now he had his attention. Changretta's eyes slid to the right and landed upon Thomas Shelby. He smiled, continuing to play with the toothpick between his fingers. "I am surprised, how easy it was to get into a room with you."

Reaching behind, Thomas pulled his gun and aimed it towards Changretta. "And now?"

He was unfazed at this response but held up in hands in mock defence. "And now, you should know that during the trouble you had earlier on your factory floor, I sent an accomplice into your office in overalls. He found your gun. And unloaded it." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the bullets which had previously been taken from the gun now pointing at him. Irritated at his carelessness, Thomas dropped the gun down and opened up the chamber, revealing an empty barrel. At this, Changretta began placing the bullets down on the table in front of him.

"Arthur Shelby."

Thomas looked up again and watched him carefully.

"Polly Gray." He placed another bullet down.

"Michael Gray."

Thomas wet his lips, realising the significance of what was happening.

"John Shelby." At the mention of his name, Changretta forced the bullet down and pinged it down the table towards Thomas. "Spent."

"Ada Thorne." He continued. "And finally, Tommy Shelby."

Thomas watched as Changretta got to his feet. "None of you will survive. Your level of security is pitiful. And we are an organisation of a different dimension. I could have killed you when I walked through the door. But, you see, I want you to be the last. I want you to be alive after your entire family is dead. Cos my mother says that is what'll hurt you the most." He continued to walk towards him until there was only a few feet between them. "You people have traditions of honour. As do we. Instead of sending you a black hand, I could have killed you in the night without knowing why. But I want you to know why. And I want to suggest to you that we fight this vendetta with honour."

Placing his gun down on the table, Thomas turned back to him. "No civilians. No children."

"No police." Changretta held his finger up in the air."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mrs Shelby, I'm afraid your husband is in a meeting at the moment and can't be disturbed." Devlin rushed across the factory floor after his bosses wife. Knowing exactly how strong willed she could be, he knew this would be a seemingly pointless task trying to stop her, but he was well aware that he would face Mr Shelby's wrath for allowing her to interrupt his business meetings, particularly when he had already had a fairly stressful day with his workforce walking out.

"Mr Devlin, I assure you, this won't take long and you can get back to whatever it is that you do." Her irritation was growing by the second as she made her way up the staircase. She had spent the last few hours listening to Polly rant and rave about her issues with Thomas and it was only now that she was finally getting insight into what was going on within the family and what had caused the untimely death of her young brother in law. She couldn't deny the rage she felt at finding out the facts and the fact Thomas had hidden all of this from her and potentially placed her and their young son in danger almost destroyed her. As she reached the doorway, she could see Thomas through the glass. He was standing talking to a tall man but she couldn't see who it was. Ignoring the fact he was likely busy, she pushed down on the door handle and shoved the door open.

"Thomas, I apologise for interrupting, but I need to speak with you urgently."

His eyes widened at the sight of his wife at the door. He couldn't risk her being here. "Sara, not now. Go home." He held up his hand, indicating for her to stop where she was.

"No. Now." She asserted, she glanced over to the man standing in front of her. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she took in his figure. Her mouth slightly gaped as he began to turn towards her, her sight levelling on the large cross tattoo on his neck. He turned his head slightly until his eyes finally met hers. Sara let out a slight gasp, catching Thomas by surprise.

"Luca?"


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

The sunlight which had previously been streaming through the windows in Thomas' office seemed to disappear under the dark cloud which had descended. Thomas felt as though the wind had been knocked right out of his stomach at the sound of this bastards name fall from his beautiful wife's lips. How was this possible?

"Sara?" Changretta finally spoke, his eyes flitting between the two people standing either side of him.

Sara's eyes immediately fell upon her husband, trying to understand what was going on.

Composing himself, Thomas cleared his throat. "Sara, as I said before, go home. Your husband will be worried about you. I have business to attend to here and have nothing further needed from you." The sound of his voice was cold and clipped, as if he barely knew her.

Sensing his tone, Sara understood and turned back towards the door. "It was nice to see you again Luca. Surprising, but nice." She eyed her husband curiously before finally pulling the door open and making her way outside, bypassing Devlin without a word as she went.

Luca watched her intensely as she left, and Thomas couldn't help but feel nervous. Not that he would ever show him that.

"Small world." His Italian American accent broke harshly through the silence. "Your secretary?"

"Bookkeeper." Thomas lied, determined not to reveal her true relationship to him for fear of placing her directly in Changretta's firing line.

"I knew her. A long time ago. Are we in agreement then?"

Thomas nodded. "Welcome to Birmingham, Mr Changretta."

He raised his eyebrows briefly. "Grazie."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sara!"

She rolled her eyes as the bellowing sound of her husbands voice bounced off every wall in the house. Getting to her feet, she made her way out to the long hallway until she reached the top of the staircase. She couldn't see him immediately but had a clear idea of where he would be. Pulling her robe tight around her body, she brushed her loosely curled blonde hair out of her face as she made her way down the stairs. Turning into the living room, she was greeted by an exasperated looking Frances.

"Oh, my apologies Mrs Shelby." She looked down to the ground and stepped out of her way.

"No damage done Frances. Do you know where my husband is?" Sara smiled.

Sighing, Frances glanced down towards the study. "I didn't see him but the noise he made since coming home indicates he has made his way to his office."

Smirking, Sara nodded in understanding. She took a few tentative steps through the living room and towards his office door, stopping as the sound of glass smashed off a nearby wall. Reaching out, she gripped onto the gold door knob, almost ready to turn it. Taking a deep breath, she took a further step and pushed the door open. The room was dimly lit with a few candles and as her eyes drifted across the room, she found Tommy leaning across his desk with his head dipped down. She took another step into the room, stopping as she heard the noise of glass crunching under her slipper. Looking down, she was taken aback by the sheer amount of broken glass lying across the hardwood floor. She lifted her eyelids and looked quickly around the room, trying to work out what the casualty had been. From the sheer amount of glass, she knew it hadn't been from one of his many brandy glasses. Her eyes fell onto the small corner table which sat next to one of his large leather armchairs. Recalling how the room looked earlier that day, she suddenly remembered the crystal vase which was normally housed there. The table sat empty. Sighing, Sara made her way into the room, trying to ignore the crunching of the glass under her feet, a sound which didn't seem to register with her husband as he didn't look up.

"Tommy?" she spoke softly, knowing he was fragile at this point.

He finally looked up at her. His eyes were red and irritated and she could almost see the anger building up inside of him. It took her by surprise and she suddenly found herself feeling slightly apprehensive. She couldn't remember the last time she had been on the receiving end of his anger and she had to be honest, she wasn't relishing it. She was always the one who could calm him down, but now, it seemed as though nothing she could do would make him any less angry.

"Are you even going to speak to me?" She asked, noticing his fists clenching at the sound of her voice. Feeling more and more irritated at his lack of communication, Sara shook her head in exasperation and began to turn back towards the door.

"How the fuck do you know Luca Changretta?

The level of anger in his voice was clear to hear and it took her by surprise, causing her to slightly jump. "Thomas, I….."

He rounded the table quickly so he was now standing in front of her. "I'll ask again, how do you know Luca Changretta?"

"What is the big deal? Are you doing business with him?"

"You could say that." Pulling out his cigarette case, he placed one between his lips and lit it. "Now, Sara, I'll only ask you once more….how the fuck do you know Luca Changretta?"

"Thomas, I'm only going to say this once." Her voice grew firm. "I am not one of your lacky's who you can command. I am your wife. I am the mother of your child. Your child that is currently upstairs asleep and who you are going to wake up if you keep shouting like this."

Glancing up to the ceiling and recognising that his sons nursery was directly above them, he wisely chose to listen to her. He watched her as she made her way to the other side of his desk and poured herself a glass of whisky from his decanter. Taking a drink, she pulled his large leather chair out from underneath the desk and took a seat. Turning so he was facing her head on, he couldn't help but smirk at how comfortable she looked there, the new matriarch of the Shelby family. Lowering his voice, he took the seat directly across from her. "How do you know Luca Changretta?"

"That's better." She smiled. "Don't forget who I am, Mr Shelby."

"Like I ever could, Mrs Shelby." He grinned, taking another drag of his cigarette. "Now, will you answer me?"

"I'm struggling to see what the big issue is but alright." Sara leaned back in the chair. "Luca and his family lived a couple of blocks away from me when I was growing up. I didn't know him too well, I knew his brother, Angel better. I think his mother taught at the local elementary school, but obviously I never went to school so I never really knew her. They left New York when I was about twelve or thirteen and I never seen them after that. Today was the first day I had seen Luca in at least fifteen years. Why is he here? I always liked him and his family."

"He murdered John."

She felt the wind being completely knocked out of her and heard the sound of the glass smashing before it even hit the ground beside her. Her eyes widened and stared straight ahead as Tommy lit another cigarette and took a drag, rather nonchalantly.

"What did you just say?"

"He ordered the murder of my younger brother Sara." He repeated.

"But…why?"

"Because we killed his brother and father." He stated.

Sara got to her feet. She could hardly stomach hearing any more. Trying to ignore the dizziness building up in her head, she rushed towards the door and pulled it open, refusing to look her husband in the eye. She rushed upstairs until she finally reached the bathroom. Falling down onto the tiled floor, she couldn't stop the contents of her stomach from emptying into the bowl. When she was finished, she collapsed back against the wall, grabbing a nearby towel, she brought it up to her eyes and cried desperately into it. She couldn't deny she had some awareness of the type of business her husband was involved in, but this was too much. It was only now, that she realised just how much of the business Tommy kept her out of and how much she wasn't aware of. And now, as the realisation of this crept into her subconscious, she wasn't sure whether she was cut out for this life. Getting to her feet, she pulled open the bathroom door, pleased to see that Tommy hadn't followed her. She crept along the hallway until she reached the nursery. Pushing open the door, she smiled as her eyes fell on her baby sleeping soundly in his cot. She leaned over the bar and reached down to pull the blanket up to his chin. He slept so peacefully and Sara couldn't help but feel guilty at bringing him into this world. He was so innocent, and the thought of anything happening to him made her sick with anger. As she leaned down to kiss him softly on his forehead, the creaking sound of the door opening behind her caused her to freeze.

"Can we talk?" he whispered, knowing that if he was to wake the baby, his wife would no doubt give him hell for it.

"I've nothing more to say to you." Satisfied that Jack was comfortable, Sara turned towards the door, pushing past her husband as she went. He reached out to grasp her hand, however she shook it away, refusing to even meet his gaze. "Leave me alone Thomas."

He knew she was serious. She only ever called him Thomas when he had done something. But yet, he followed her into their bedroom. "Sara, listen to me. Nothing is going to happen to you or Jack."

"You don't get it Thomas. Something could happen to you. What is all this? What is the point in it all? How did this even happen?" Sara collapsed down onto the ottoman which sat at the foot of their bed.

"Angel Changretta was getting too close to Lizzie. We warned her to keep away from him, but she didn't, so we took care of him."

"Lizzie." Sara scoffed. "Fucking Lizzie. It always comes back to her Thomas. Why do you give a shit who she's fucking?"

Tommy's eyes widened. It was unusual for Sara to use language like that. "I don't give a shit."

"Well I beg to differ Thomas. Otherwise, why would you go after Angel?" Sara questioned, getting to her feet again and making her way over to the bay window.

"He had connections to our enemies Sara. We couldn't let them continue. Who knows what he would find out."

"Well then maybe you need to question Lizzie's loyalty rather than anything else." She said spitefully.

Refusing to rise to her anger, Thomas turned away from her. "It just escalated from there. His father got involved. When you were pregnant, a letter came to the house. It had been delivered personally. They threatened your life. I had to take care of him. Now Luca is here, clearly pissed off that the Blinders took out his father. What else was I supposed to do Sara? I couldn't let him get away with it." With that, he turned back to her and took a few long strides across the room until he reached her and gripped onto her hands. "Tell me what I should have done Sara."

She shook her head, exasperated. Glancing up at him from under her eyelashes, she tried to take in his features. He looked fearful. An emotion she wasn't used to seeing on his normally steely expression. She wasn't sure what it was that he was fearful of. Was it the thought of losing her? The thought of losing his child? The thought of Luca Changretta taking out his family? She couldn't be sure if it was one of those things or a combination of all of them. But whilst she could understand his apprehension, she couldn't allow her son to be brought up in amongst all of this.

"I can't stay here Thomas." She admitted, quietly.

"What?" He questioned, the confusion clear on his face.

"I can't sit here and wait for something to happen. I can't allow Jack to be caught up in all of this. It isn't safe for him to be here. You clearly won't let this vendetta go. When does it end? You get Luca, then what? someone else comes for you? It never ends. I can't have Jack growing up in this. I don't want him to grow up without a father. I don't want to be widowed before I'm thirty. When I left James for you, I didn't see my life ending up this way. I guess I just never did truly understand the extent of the business and what it involved. I chose to ignore it. But now, it's affecting me and our baby and now I can't ignore it." She explained, taking a deep breath once she had finished. "I just can't stay here Thomas. I'm going to go back to New York."

"You can't!" He gripped her hands tighter, his eyes wide with emotion. "You can't just take Jack away from me."

"Its not safe for him."

"Changretta agreed no children would get hurt." He tried to reassure her.

"Perhaps not directly." Sara shook her head. "But there's no guarantee that nothing would happen to him. I can't risk it, and as his father, the fact you're even trying to convince me to stay here doesn't say a lot for you."

"Go back to Small Heath. You'll both be safe there. I wanted you to stay there anyway after John died."

Sara shook her head. "My parent's deserve to know their grandchild. I'm going to go back to New York for a while. Let them spend some time together. I'd ask you to come with me, but I already know the answer to that."

"I can't run out on this now Sara. It's too late. If I'm not here, Changretta will take out the rest of the family. I have to see this through."

She nodded, turning away from him. "I'm going to get the next boat out."

"When will you come back?"

"Perhaps, when this blows over." She said, non-committedly. "That is, if you're still alive."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I couldn't stay and watch him potentially kill himself."

Sitting on one of the many wooden benches which lined Central Park, Sara rocked Jack's pram back and forth, trying to urge him to drift off to sleep.

"You knew what you were getting yourself involved in Sara. We warned you about this before you married him." Her mother reminded her.

Sara shrugged. "I know. I just wasn't expecting it to end up like this. He was in the process of turning the business around. Making it a legitimate company and being on the right side of the law for once in his life. But, this last few months, its as if I don't know him anymore. Its like he is a completely different person. I thought that John dying would stir something up in him, you know, make him realise how important family is. But because of the all the anger and rage behind it, there's no stopping it now. It's a constant battle of one-upmanship, and I have no idea when its going to end. It won't end until one of the leaders is dead. And there's no guarantee that one person won't be my husband. How am I supposed to raise Jack alone? How can I live without him? For all his faults, he's still the most incredible man I've ever met, and I don't ever regret any moment of our time together. I can only pray that it doesn't end prematurely."

"Thomas is a strong man Sara. He won't want to leave you and Jack. He'll do everything he can to protect his family. I know that much about him." Elizabeth Miller got to her feet and leaned over the carriage. "He is absolutely precious Sara. I'm so happy you brought him here."

"I couldn't let him grow up without knowing his grandparents. I just wish we were closer." Sara smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I have asked Thomas about possibly relocating. The business has extended out to America. His sister is heading up their office in Boston but he's always insisted he needs to stay in England for now. Hopefully soon though we will get here."

"We could make more of an effort to come to you Sara. I'll speak to your father. We'll try and come over in the coming months." Her mother placed her gloved hand down on her daughters and squeezed it gently. "How long are you staying for?"

"Until this all blows over. I've told Thomas to let me know when its over. I haven't decided yet if I'm definitely going back."

Elizabeth smiled and placed her hands on the carriage handle and began pushing. "Come on, lets get home. This little one will need fed shortly and I'm sure that your father wants to spend some time with Jack."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

He cut a lonely figure. Having dismissed everyone from the Shelby's betting parlour, Thomas was now sitting at his desk, papers strewn everywhere and several cigarette butts piled up in the crystal ashtray. As he lit what was probably his tenth cigarette in as many minutes, he brought his free hand up to his forehead, gently squeezing his temple. He hadn't left his office in days, unable to stomach going back to a home which no longer housed his wife and child. The constant reminder that John was also no longer with them was etched in his subconscious and despite Arthur and Linda's attempt to bring him out of his reverie, he continued to shut them out. Polly was a different story, refusing point blank to even acknowledge him unless absolutely necessary. The effects of the Christmas Day massacre at John and Esme's farmhouse had never left her and she continued to blame Thomas for the injuries sustained by Michael that day. As far as she was concerned, Michael was only seconds from death that day and Thomas' vendetta with the Italians was the prime reason for it. She had tried to convince Michael to go with her to Australia. Be with his sister she had promised, having recently found out where she was buried. But he had refused. His loyalty to his cousins clear for everyone to see.

Getting to his feet, Thomas pulled his coat and cap on and made his way outside. Not only did he have the threat on his life from the Italians hanging over his head and the animosity from the factory, but he knew he had serious issues within his family that he needed to fix. As he reached the hospital, he made his way inside and went straight towards Michael's room. A table had been set up in the middle of the room with several chairs around it. He greeted his younger cousin and took a seat, waiting on the rest of the family to appear.

"Right." Thomas got to his feet and lit a cigarette. "Before we start this extraordinary general meeting of the Shelby Company Limited, I'd like to note the absence of the Deputy Vice President who has not yet arrived. We'll continue without his presence. Item number one. The reinstatement of the Shelby Company Limited Company Treasurer. The board welcomes back the former treasurer with generously improved terms and conditions. Due to the exceptionally difficult circumstances the company now finds itself in. The proposed treasurer will now check the terms and conditions, to see if they are in order." Thomas continued with the formalities of the meeting before finally bringing it to a close. "Now we talk about the real business. But for that, we need Arthur. Where the fuck is Arthur?"

The family sat around for another hour waiting on any sign of Arthur appearing. Having now been chastised by the ward sister for smoking, Thomas was growing increasingly irritated.

"Right, He's an hour late. Fuck him. This business directly affects Arthur, but he's not here, so we'll take a vote without him."

"What business?" Ada spoke up.

"Official business that wasn't on your agenda Ada." Polly explained.

"An informant told us that six years ago, Luca Changretta came from New York to Birmingham to be the best man at his cousins wedding." Thomas spoke as Polly handed out the copies around the table.

"We found out that they used Reid and Dunn in Broadgate for the photographs. The photographer kept the negatives. I persuaded him to give us copies and to enlarge this one. That, is Luca Changretta."

"I've seen his face." Thomas continued. "So I could pick him out. Half the men in the photograph are Changretta's, which means the chances are, they're the men who come to kill us. We need to get both these photographs into pubs and on street corners, and put it about that there's a reward for information."

"We also propose that we give a copy of the photograph to Mr Aberama Gold."

The sound of his name caused all around the table to look up at Polly.

"We need to forget the idea that it has to be Arthur who pulls the trigger. Tradition will just fuck us up."

Ada sighed, throwing the photograph back onto the table. "We should wait for Arthur."

"Arthur's not here, Ada." Polly took her seat.

"We need Luca Changretta dead. That's it."


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

Thomas leaned back in his large leather chair, a glass of whisky nursing in his hand. The stress of the last few days was clearly getting to him but he refused to allow anyone to see him in this state. Being set up by Changretta through the vengeful Mrs Ross was something he hadn't been expecting. Leaving Michael without any protection had been a grave mistake of his and he knew he didn't have much time to arrange a contingent of men to infiltrate the Italians Rolls Royce. But despite this, they had been unable to secure him.

"Fuck!" Tommy threw the crystal glass hard against the wall, shattering it into hundreds of pieces. He placed his head in his hands, ignoring the sound of his office door creeping open.

"Tommy?"

"Not now Lizzie." He groaned down towards the desk, not looking up.

She eyed the broken glass which scattered across the hardwood floor. It wasn't overly unusual for Thomas to allow his anger to get the better of him but she was acutely aware of the strain he was under. She had to admit, she missed the sight of him here, in the Shelby betting parlour. He didn't spend as much time as he had done in the past since opening up the factory but she relished the occasions he was there, even when he was this stressed. She had heard on the grapevine that Sara had shipped herself back to New York, taking hers and Tommy's child with her. She had been gone for at least a couple of weeks now as far as she was aware and Tommy hadn't made any mention of when she was likely to return, if at all. She found herself wondering what had happened between them to drive her away, but she couldn't deny, she considered taking advantage of the situation. It had been a long time since she spent any time alone with Tommy and despite her flirtations, he hadn't yet reciprocated. She hoped it would only be a matter of time before he finally came to his senses and realised that he was never truly suited to the stuck up yank. She was never right for him, and despite the fact of them having a child together, if she stayed in America, it was more than likely that Tommy would never see that child again. He would never leave Birmingham and his family for any length of time. A fact that Lizzie was keen to exploit.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright Tommy. Can I get you another drink?" she offered, taking a few tentative steps into the room.

Tommy waved his hand, indicating he couldn't really care less either way. Taking a chance, Lizzie made her way into the room, closing the door behind her. She swayed across to the table in the corner of the room which housed Tommy's decanter, her hips sashaying seductively as she went. Picking up the crystal bottle, she poured out another two glasses and made her way over to the desk. Taking a chance, she perched herself on the edge of the table, sliding back until she was sat comfortably, her stockinged leg resting against Thomas' bare arm. She cleared her throat and held the glass under his nose, allowing the strong scent of the liquid to radiate up his nostrils. Sitting back, Tommy took her in as he wrapped his calloused fingers around the glass, gently prying it from her delicate fingers. He leaned back against the chair as he took a brief drink, setting the glass down in front of him and lighting a cigarette. He held the case out to her in offering. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips and she lifted one of the long white sticks and brought it up to her lips.

"Thank you." She whispered breathlessly as she leaned towards him, allowing him to light it for her. Gazing at him from under her long eyelashes, she winked as she sat back on the desk, crossing her legs and placing her shoe on the arm of his chair, almost trapping him.

"Did you want something Lizzie?"

She smiled again as she took another long drag from the cigarette, her eyes never leaving Tommy's. "I just wanted to see how you were holdin' up Tommy. I worry about you, you know."

"That's awful kind of you Lizzie, but I don't need your concern." Tommy rebuffed.

"It can't be easy for you. Back alone now. No one to take care of those….needs of yours." She whispered, slipping her foot out of her shoe and allowing it to drop to the ground. Slowly she placed the sole down on his thigh, sliding it carefully up towards his crotch.

Grasping at her foot, Tommy gripped it tightly causing her to winch in pain. "Lizzie, I am more than capable of taking care of those needs myself, in my wife's absence."

She scowled at the mere mention of her. "You believe she's coming back then, do you?"

"I know she's coming back." He pushed her foot from his leg, causing her to almost topple from her perch on the table. "Its safer for her there until this business with the Italians is finished."

"But you're happy for the rest of us to stay here and face them?" Lizzie pouted.

"The rest of you can either handle yourselves, or you aren't in Changretta's firing line. If he knew she was my wife, it would place her directly in his sights. He doesn't need to know that information." Tommy knocked back the rest of his drink and got to his feet, pushing Lizzie out of his way. "Sara and Jack will be home again soon. And we can get back to our home and put all this shit behind us."

"If you say so Tommy." Lizzie stood up, slipping her shoe back onto her feet. Stubbing out the cigarette, she headed for the door. "We'll see about that."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ada sat across the table from the young militant. Men around them didn't look over at them, knowing exactly who she was. She may be known as Thorne now but she will forever be a Shelby.

"Shelby Company Limited is prepared to offer parity for male and female workers across all the factories in our ownership and withdraw the paycut for men." She spoke eloquently.

"In return for what?"

"In return for something very unusual. But very typical of my brother."

"What does he want?" she didn't move as their drinks were placed down in front of them.

"To sit down with you and talk."

"If he withdraws his pay cut, we've no need to talk."

Ada smirked. "He wants to talk about socialism and revolution." She stated, drawing a few looks from the punters sitting behind her companion, but yet she continued.

"Tell your brother that, when we take power, all means of production will be owned by the workers." Jessie Eden sat forward in her chair. "Essential industries will be taken into state control. Birmingham Town Hall is a rather beautiful building and we plan to preserve it. What else does he need to know? Its going to happen. Aren't you a bit sorry you jumped ship too soon?"

"He wants to take you for dinner." Ada sighed. She had warned Tommy this wouldn't be easy and he would need another plan. Reluctantly, she agreed that perhaps he would need to turn on the Shelby charm, something which she couldn't help but feel guilty endorsing, giving her closeness to his wife.

"I really have nothing to wear." Jessie rebuffed.

"You'd need to wear boots. He's suggesting dinner in a scrap metal yard. He said you'd appreciate the sentiment." Ada held out a folded piece of paper but placed it down on the table when she didn't accept it. "If you don't show up, the offer of parity is withdrawn."

"This is not how you conduct union business." Jessie looked up at her as Ada got to her feet, placing her coat over her arm.

"Well, we must all make personal sacrifices for the good of the good old cause, right?" Saying nothing else, Ada made her way out of the pub.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She stared out of the large bay window, watching as the snow fell softly onto the ground. The streets were almost covered despite it only falling for the last half hour. The New York weather had turned suddenly, the city having been shrouded in sunshine for the last week or so. It wasn't surprising though, given it was only February. Sara shuddered as she watched people fight through the storm, thankful of the warm fire which burned only a few feet away from her. She glanced over to the crib and smiled as she watched Jack sleep soundly. For being only a few months old, he was a good baby. Never fussed. He definitely didn't have his fathers demeanour, but everytime she looked at him, she was amazed by how much he resembled Tommy. Truthfully, she couldn't see much of herself in him. He had inherited Tommy's piercing blue eyes, something she was grateful for. Sara remembered back to the day she first came face to face with Thomas Shelby. She recalled him smirking at her when she insisted he removed his hat inside her home. Only then did she truly see the intenseness of his eyes and if she was honest with herself, she fell in love with him at that moment. Despite being married to James, she knew then that there was something special about that man. However, she had never imagined this. Never imagined being Mrs Thomas Shelby, never mind bearing his first and only child.

 _Well, at the moment anyway._ She smiled to herself, as she rested her hand gently on her stomach. She hadn't expected this. Given, they enjoyed a thriving sex life, and were never exactly careful, but it had taken some time for her body to return to normal and the thought of falling pregnant again so quickly had never entered her mind. Sure, she had suffered sickness during the journey home, but she had put it down to the slightly choppy crossing. However, after a week of feeling that way, she could no longer deny that there had to be an alternative reason. And a trip to the doctor had confirmed that. After sharing the news with her parents, Sara had arranged a return trip back to England and back to her husband. She knew she couldn't risk losing Thomas without him knowing he would have another child.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ada sat in Tommy's office, anger coursing through her veins at the events of the last few hours.

"Talk to me about Colonel Ben Younger." She demanded as Tommy stepped into the room, removing his coat.

"What about him?"

"He's just made me a proposition."

"You're in my chair." She ignored her, choosing to pour himself a drink.

"He says you knew about it." The annoyance was clear on her face. "And remember, I know when you're lying."

"Ben Younger was an officer with the Warwickshire Yeomanry in Flanders. The only cavalryman who could ride a fucking horse." He explained, lighting a cigarette.

"I was strip searched." She stated in disgust. "Two soldiers watched."

He looked up at her in surprise, pulling the cigarette from his lips. "I'm sorry Ada. The arrest was so the neighbours would see and word would go round. Younger is alright. Younger came to me for help. He's been given Birmingham." Tommy sat down in the chair opposite, resting into the back.

"Given Birmingham. By who?"

Tommy shook his head. "By Churchill. By the fucking King. By people who want to stop a revolution. No ones laughing anymore, Ada." He stated as she scoffed at him. "The Home Office is making provisions. This is part of those provisions."

"And how is Tommy Shelby OBE going to stop a revolution?" she demanded, referencing his title derived directly from the King under terms of blackmail.

"Jessie Eden has accepted my dinner invitation."

She laughed. "Oh, of course. I'm sorry. Tommy Shelby is going to stop the revolution with his cock." She was angry. The thought of Tommy going through with this, in spite of his wife and child, all to gain some one-upmanship was difficult to swallow.

"Its not her the military are interested in. It's the people around her. They're people like you used to be. Like Freddie used to be. People who want an armed revolution. If I get Jessie Eden's trust, she gives me the nose of the instigators. I give them up to the Crown forces." She took a drag of his cigarette and stared at the ground.

"Tommy. Tommy, sweetheart." Ada rested her arms across the desk in frustration. "Why would a man whose medals rust at the bottom of the Saltley Canal want to help the British

military?"

He took a drink before resting back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling. "Because, I've been offered three five year contracts to supply military vehicles to the British forces in India, Ceylon, Singapore and Burma. Total value. Two Million Pound."

"And there'll be no strikes in your factory because Jessie Eden will be in your bed. Tommy, this can only happen if you're still alive. What about Sara? And Jack? Do you honestly need to go through with this?"

"Sara doesn't need to know. This is business Ada. Pure and simple. And I'm planning on staying alive. If I'm dead, you can all go back to being what you were. The British Army came to me, Ada. And I said, why not?"

"They'll put that on your grave, Tom." She got to her feet. "Tommy Shelby. Why not?" Sensing she was getting no where with him, Ada manoeuvred herself around the desk and went straight for the door, leaving her brother behind.

"Are you gonna help me or not?" he shouted after her, only to be met by silence.

Xxxxxxxxxx

She held Jack close to her body. He was wrapped up snuggly to shield him from the cool Atlantic breeze. The sun was shining however, there was a cool snap in the air. Almost four years previous, Sara recalled making this exact same journey. How different her life was now. She couldn't help but feel apprehensive at getting back to Birmingham. She hadn't told Thomas she would be arriving so soon, intending to surprise him. She felt guilty at how she had left things between them, she remembered the look in his eyes as she told him she was leaving. Pain. Anger. She wasn't sure which it was, but she knew she didn't relish the anguish she had caused him. But now, she was going home and, in a few days, they would be back together. All four of them. Holding Jack steady in her left arm, she rested her right hand on her stomach. She couldn't feel it for her thick coat but just the act was enough. She prayed in a similar fashion that she did with Jack. Praying that nothing would happen to the little life growing inside of her. Truthfully, she knew at the back of her mind that the likelihood of that was small. Father Hughes had ultimately been the cause of the loss of their first baby. Her pregnancy with Jack had been uneventful and she hoped for similar with this baby. The doctor estimated her to be approximately ten or eleven weeks along, meaning she likely conceived early December. Only three months after she gave birth to Jack. She couldn't deny it was fast, and part of her worried about Tommy's reaction. He was an amazing father to Jack, but would he be ready for another? Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind as Jack started to fuss in her arms. She knew he would be hungry by now, so she gently soothed him whilst she made her way inside and back to her cabin.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Curly and Charlie continued to fuss around the table, moving plates here and there and setting down glasses.

"Other way round." Charlie snapped, moving the plate Curly had just sat down.

"Will they want music Charlie? We have that gramophone we found abandoned inside that gentleman's car?"

Charlie watched in bemusement as Curly lit a candle and set it down in the middle of the table. "No, they don't. Tommy says they're here to talk."

The squeak of the large metal door indicated Tommy's arrival. Looking up, they watched as he made his way slowly into the dimly lit warehouse, a young woman by his side.

"Charlie. Curly. This is Jessie Eden." He introduced her. Curly smiled at her arrival whilst Charlie kept his head down, puffing on his cigarette. "Jessie, this is my Uncle Charlie and my whatever Curly is."

"This is actually lovely."

"We were just wondering if you'd like some music." Curly stated.

"No, we weren't" Charlie interrupted. He'd listened to Ada incessantly over the last few days about Tommy's plan and he couldn't help but agree with her. Tommy's insistence at following through with this struck a chord with him but, he knew better than to open his mouth. As much as he had a soft spot for Tommy's wife, he refused to let it get in the way of business. But that didn't mean he had to appear happy about it.

"Actually, Jessie likes music." Tommy ignored him.

"Don't go to any trouble." She smiled.

Tommy continued, looking across to Curly. "No, Curly. Go to some trouble."

"Go on then." Charlie indicated. Glancing over to Tommy, he indicated subtly for him to leave. "Right." He made his way between them.

Now they were alone, Tommy pulled out her chair before making his way around to the other side of the table, pulling off his coat as he went. She cautiously took her seat, placing her bag down on the floor. Tommy lifted a bottle of gin from the table and began pouring out the glasses.

"Don't I get a choice?" she asked, forever in demand of equality.

"I want an opinion. Try it." He insisted.

"I don't really drink gin." She said after taking a small mouthful from the glass.

"Then you're perfect. My gin is for women who don't really like gin."

"Your gin?" Jessie questioned.

He didn't respond with an answer. "Let's drink to something. You choose."

She smirked slightly, picking up her glass and holding it up in front of her. "To the revolution." Tommy eyed her. It was a predictable response from the young militant.

"Why not." He lifted his arm and clinked his glass gently against hers before taking a drink. "To the revolution. Right, well, since I invited you for dinner. I thought I'd cook. These two beauties were shot this morning by a poacher friend of mine on Lord Packwood's estate. I thought you'd like that. And these here, these were stolen from under his trees." He held out the ceramic jar to her.

"Mr Shelby, I came to talk business."

"Yes. So did I." Tommy agreed, wiping down his hands. "Wage cuts withdrawn, parity between men and women guaranteed. You can instruct your members to return to work tomorrow." He set the paper down in front of her.

"And all I have to do in return is tell you everything I know about socialism. That's what your sister said."

They continued talking for sometime until the tension between them was interrupted by a bumbling Curly.

"Its all wound up Tom." He placed the gramophone down before turning back to the table. "And there are some popular records. Mostly romantic."

"Thank you Curly." Tommy glanced up at him as he disappeared from sight. Getting to his feet, he checked on the meal. "Foods nearly ready. Lets eat before we dance, shall we?"

"So we're going to dance?" Jessie asked, running her fingertip along the rim of her glass.

"I think so."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The betting parlour was dark apart from one solitary light. Lizzie sat at Tommy's desk, pen in hand and a stack of papers in front of her. She lifted a small piece of paper which bore the address she had been looking for. Keeping in touch with her former friends had proven to be useful. Turned out that Italian men here for business still needed some services from the women on the street. Ensuring her friend had been the one to do the job had secured her the whereabouts of Luca Changretta. Taking a blank sheet of paper, she began writing.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Laughter radiated around the room. The gin had clearly worked as both were slightly merrier than they had been when the evening had begun.

"I swear to God, she gave me sixpence and she sends me to the shop for margarine, eggs and bread. And I came back…"

"With a top hat and a coconut." She finished his story for him.

"That was all our money we had for the whole fucking week and my mum beat me with a fucking frying pan." He laughed, lighting another cigarette.

"Why the hell did you buy a top hat and a coconut?"

"Cause I thought she deserved it." He sat back in his seat. "I thought we all did. And I could never understand why people like us only had bread and fucking lard, and I wanted to be different. That's what I wanted."

She glanced down, somewhat intimidated by his gaze. "And you are. When I showed you that photo of Greta Jurossi, your face changed."

Tommy gazed up at the ceiling as he took another drag of his cigarette. He thought back to the picture that was still safely stored in his desk drawer. She had given him it when he had paid her an impromptu visit a few days earlier and he still hadn't let it go. He felt he couldn't. Apart from when he closed his eyes, it was the first time he had seen her face in over twelve years. "She wanted everything to be different. The whole world."

"As do I." Jessie reminded him.

Slightly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking, Tommy changed the subject. "Shall we have some more music?" Realising the gramophone had stopped. "Bye Bye Blackbird reminds you of your sweetheart eh?"

"Yes." She agreed, solemnly, taking a drink.

"Alright." Tommy looked over to her. "Fast or slow?"

She shook her heard slightly. "Better be slow. I better just sit. I'm drunk." She rested herself into the back of the chair as the sounds of the gramophone began to come to life. Tommy turned back to her and held out his hand.

"Come on."

Against her better judgement, she placed her hand in his and got to her feet, allowing him to pull her close to him. Her left hand rested immediately on his shoulder. Their bodies radiated closely to each other as they danced cheek to cheek. Tommy continued to stare past her. His eyes were wide as he racked his subconscious for anything that would put a stop to this. He thought of his wife, thousands of miles away. She had never asked him about her, yet she had stated she had done her research so there was no way she couldn't be aware of the fact he was married. Yet, that didn't seem to stop her as her hand gripped tighter to his. Forcing his conscious from his mind, he closed his eyes and allowed his feet to take over. He felt her head move slightly beside him. Her nose was close to his neck and he heard her gently inhale as she took in his scent.

"Will you help us, Tommy?" she breathed.

He slowed. It was the first time she hadn't called him Mr Shelby. Pulling his head back slightly, he came face to face with her and stared into her dark eyes. She leaned closer to him and Tommy knew at that point it was all or nothing. Allowing her to come the rest of the way, he closed his eyes as her lips met his. He felt her hand lift from his shoulder onto the back of his neck and they kissed as they continued dancing. His hands drifted up to her collar and gently pulled her light coat from her shoulders, allowing it to drop to the floor. Moving his hands down past her hips, he manoeuvred himself in such a way to allow him to lift her skirt up her legs, his fingers grazing over her stockings and suspenders.

"Soon." She whispered, stopping his movements. "Soon."

"Arrange a meeting with the appropriate people and I'll be there."

Xxxxxxxx

She stepped back onto the gravel road of Watery Lane. The sights and smells met her and it was as if she had never left. Having already been to Arrow House, she had instructed the driver to bring her here, choosing to leave Jack with Frances. She was amused to see the housekeepers enthusiastic reaction to her return and couldn't withhold her the request to look after the baby for a few hours. Her only concern was the fact she had divulged that Tommy had not been seen at the house for some time. She reasoned he must have chosen to stay in Small Heath. He had told her it was safer there and better if the family was altogether. So now, here she was. Paying the driver, she walked toward the main door of the betting shop and tried to gently push it open. To her surprise, it was locked. Undeterred, she opened up her purse and lifted out a small set of keys. Selecting the correct one, she inserted it into the lock and turned it until she heard the familiar click. Pushing the door open, she took a step inside.

 _Silence._

Narrowing her eyes, she glanced up at the clock. It was the middle of the day. Where was everyone? Making her way through the building, she searched the offices, finally arriving at Tommy's. She pressed down on the handle and shoved the door open. It was empty. Taking a few tentative steps inside, she walked towards his desk, running her gloved fingers over the mahogany wood. Her long dark coat swayed behind her as she moved behind the desk towards Tommy's leather chair. Reaching up, she lifted off her hat, freeing her blonde hair and set it down on the table. Planting herself on the chair, she clasped her hands on her lap and gazed around the room. Everything seemed normal, yet something was off, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Curiosity eventually set in and she pulled the set of keys from the pocket of her coat. Using the smaller key, she opened up the large drawer of the desk. She didn't normally feel the need to look through Tommy's things but he had given her a spare set of keys to his desk in case "something should happen to me"

She remembered the warning he had given her following his three month stay in hospital after the attack from Hughes' men. He was concerned he wouldn't have come out of that alive. Pulling the drawer open, she gently fingered the papers in front of her, but could find nothing which was out of the ordinary. As she was about the close the drawer, something caught her eye. Pushing a small book aside, her fingers fell upon a small picture. Lifting it out, she recognised the man immediately as Tommy. However, it wasn't one of the many photos of them together. Her house was adorned with them. A picture of them as a family hung on the staircase. But this one, she didn't recognise. She read the writing which adorned the bottom of the photo.

 _Wild Rovers beside the seaside. June 15th 1913_

She knew it was ridiculous to be upset about a picture that was almost thirteen years old but why had he kept it? Her eyes fell on the woman who was standing beside her husband. She was immaculately dressed and beautiful. She could understand why Tommy would have loved her. But why had he never mentioned her? In the few years they had been together, he had never so much as mentioned another woman. She couldn't help but feel curious about this one. Who was she? Where was she? So many questions rolled around in her head.

"Sara?!"

Dropping the photo back into the drawer as the sound of the door opening and her name being called startled her. She looked up and smiled as Ada appeared in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Sara closed the drawer and locked it. "Nice to see you too, Ada."

"I'm just surprised to see you. Tommy didn't say you would be back." She walked around the table and gently embraced her friend.

"I didn't tell him." Sara reciprocated before sitting back down in the chair. "Speaking of Tommy. Do you know where he is? I've been to the house but he isn't there."

Ada tensed slightly. She knew Tommy was meeting with Jessie Eden the night before and she wasn't sure exactly where he was now. She prayed he had the sense to go to her place and not back to number 6 where Sara would likely look next. Not that Jessie would likely still be in his bed at this time of day, but a woman's senses would never betray her. She knew that Sara would detect another woman a mile away should she have spent the night in Tommy's bed.

"Are you alright?"

Ada lifted her head to meet her friends eye. "Oh, yes. I'm fine. I don't know where Tommy is. Why don't we go for a drink? Come on."

Sara smiled and allowed herself to be scooped up by the arm and followed Ada out of the office, the thought of the picture disappeared from her mind as they stepped out into the sunlight. She quickly locked the door to the betting shop before they made their way down the street and into the Garrison. Ada pushed open the door and made her way inside, holding it open behind her for her sister in law. She was grateful Sara hadn't pushed to find Tommy or questioned why she was trying to get her out of the shop. After Sara had divulged that she hadn't informed Tommy of her imminent arrival, she knew he wouldn't be expecting her, and the last thing she wanted to happen was for Sara to catch Tommy with Jessie Eden. He swore to her it was purely business, so she did what she could and pushed it to the back of her mind, convincing herself that it would not come between them and therefore, there was no need for Sara to know.

Making their way into the snug, Ada went to the window and picked up the bottle of whisky and two glasses already placed in front of her by Harry. She turned and placed them down on the table, taking the seat across from Sara, smiling as she poured them a drink.

"So, tell me all about your trip stateside."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

Sara sat quietly in front of the raging fire. The warmth exuding from the flames surrounded the room. It had been hours since she had left Ada nursing a brandy in the Garrison and she had decided to make her way home. She'd refused to stay in Watery Lane, despite warnings from Ada that it still wasn't safe for her to be isolated in Arrow House, but she argued that she wasn't about to be driven from her home, living in fear. Still unaware of everything that was going on, she refused to be bullied by the family into not living in her home and until someone finally told her the truth, she wasn't backing down. She pulled her robe tightly around her body as she sat down on the couch and hooked her feet up beside her. Lifting her discarded book from the end table, she opened it up at the folded down page and began to read.

Just as she was starting to get into the story, the sound of the front door slamming shut startled her. Her eyes widened as she placed the book down. She hadn't heard from Tommy, and Ada had assured her he was tied up with business and wasn't sure when he'd be back. Getting to her feet, she crept over to the nearby desk and opened the top drawer. Reaching inside, she lifted the handgun she knew Tommy kept stored there. Quickly checking the barrel and satisfied it was loaded, Sara tip toed across to the door of the study and placed her hand gently on the doorknob, pressing her ear up against the wood. She could hear footsteps outside growing closer. Her heart was racing with anticipation and fear as she quietly turned the handle. Taking a deep breath, she threw open the door and extended her arm out in front of her, aiming the gun at the intruder.

"Jesus, Tommy!" she gasped as her eyes fell upon the figure in front of her. "I could have shot you!"

"Sara?!" His eyes widened at the sight of her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm home."

He stepped towards her, ignoring the fact the gun in her hand was still pointed directly at him. As he reached her, Tommy lifted his hand and wrapped his fingers around the barrel and gently took it from her. He placed it down on a nearby table before slowly walking back towards her. Still taken aback at the fact she was standing there, he closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her close to him. "When did you get back?"

"A few hours ago." She answered, allowing him to engulf her body. She closed her eyes as she buried her face into his neck, inhaling his scent. "Tommy, I have to speak with you about something."

"Of course. But first, where's Jack?"

"He's upstairs, asleep." She pulled away slightly, looking up at him. She had a strange expression on her face, but he couldn't quite read it.

"Wait here. Go pour us a drink. I'll be back down in a minute." He took off before she could say anything else, giving her a brief peck on her lips. She watched as he took the stairs two at a time. Sighing, she turned and made her way back into the study, taking a seat back down on the couch. Resting her chin on her knuckles, she waited patiently for Tommy to come back down.

After a while, Sara glanced up at the clock and realised another thirty minutes had passed. Getting to her feet, she made her way out into the hall and up the stairs towards Jack's nursery. The door was closed so being careful not to waken him, she turned the handle as quietly as she could and pushed the door open. Her eyes automatically fell on the crib at the opposite end of the room. As she made her way inside, her brow furrowed as she reached it, eyes narrowing as she viewed the empty space where he normally would be lying. Hearing a soft sound from behind her, she turned on the spot and smiled as her eyes fell upon Tommy sitting in the nearby armchair. His legs were outstretched in front of him and he had removed his coat, jacket and holster. Lying across his slightly unbuttoned shirt was their son, sleeping soundly, listening to the soothing sound of his father's heartbeat. Her eyes drifted up to Tommy's face where she could see he was also asleep. He looked peaceful and content as he inhaled and exhaled softly with his left hand resting on Jack's back. Looking at him in this state, it was hard to believe that this man and Birmingham's most notorious gangster were one in the same. He looked serene and almost unintimidating. Taking a few tentative steps towards them, Sara reached out and lifted Tommy's hand, resting it down by his side. She picked Jack up and held him close to her body, taking care not to wake him as she made her way back to his crib and placed him back down. Her eyes fell once again on Tommy and she decided not to wake him as she quietly left the nursery and made her way to their bedroom to settle down for the night, satisfied that her news could wait until morning.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

He crumpled up the piece of paper in anger. _His wife._ She was his wife, not his bookkeeper. Why did he take Shelby's word for it? Why didn't he check up on it? Luca couldn't deny he was incredibly surprised to find Sara Miller barge into Shelby's office, but to discover that she was now Sara Shelby was hard to stomach. He was torn. Torn between wanting to make Shelby pay dearly for his crimes and torn between his willingness to keep his childhood friend safe. In addition, he knew his mother would be incredibly angry if he let anything happen to her. Growing up, she had been incredibly fond of the young girl. She would be amazed to see her now. Thinking back to the afternoon she had appeared in front of him, she was a million miles away from the impoverished girl who spent many afternoons with his younger brother. Now, it was like she was from another world. He reread the letter again. It was anonymous but looking at the writing, he assumed it was from a woman. Perhaps a jilted lover of Shelby? Why else would someone essentially hand Sara over to him? What mainly troubled him was the mention of the child. Shelby had a son. No wonder he was so insistent that no children were harmed in this war. Folding up the letter and placing it in his breast pocket, he had already decided what would happen. Sara and her son would not be harmed, but that didn't mean they couldn't be used a pawn to bring down Thomas Shelby once and for all.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara fixed her hat as she continued the walk along Birmingham's New Street. Determined for a slight change of scenery, she had made her way into the city. Her heart and her head had been at odds for days now. The morning after she had arrived home, Thomas had awoken early and had disappeared, no doubt back into Small Heath. He hadn't woken her before he left and Sara still hadn't had a chance to tell him her news. Time was quickly slipping away from her and it wouldn't be long before the tell tale expansion of her stomach would tell him before she could. As she wandered along the streets, glancing in the store windows as she went, she pulled on her gloves to try and heat her hands up against the slight chill in the air. Stopping at one particular store, she glanced at the display in the window.

"Mrs Shelby?"

The sound of her mother tongue startled her as she turned her head to the side. A tall older man greeted her.

"Yes? Can I help you?" Sara eyed the stranger in front of her. Under the American accent, an Italian twang sounded. He was tall with dark hair and a moustache. He dressed well and wore a long coat and trilby style hat.

"I work with Luca Changretta. I understand you are an old acquaintance of his."

Glancing around, Sara felt slightly nervous in the mans presence and suddenly, wandering around Birmingham alone didn't seem like a very good idea. "That's correct. We grew up together." She finally confirmed.

The man nodded slowly, chewing on the toothpick which rested between his lips. "Mr Changretta was very pleased to see you. He has requested your company for dinner this evening."

"Is that so?" Sara turned her head slightly and observed those walking past. Suddenly she was grateful for the fact it was mid morning and the streets were busy. Knowing what Luca was capable of made her nervous but still, the fact that he was a childhood friend of hers stayed with her. Unwilling to let the man know she was aware of the true nature of Luca and Tommy's relationship, she kept up the pretence. "I'm not sure my husband would be too pleased. I'm sure there would be a slight conflict of interest in my having dinner with a business associate of his, no matter our previous connection."

"Oh, I'm sure Mr Changretta will ensure that this would not come between him and Mr Shelby." The man smiled. "He was just very pleased to see his blast from the past. He would just like the opportunity to catch up."

Sara thought for a few seconds. Observing the man in front of her, she thought long and hard about the implications of this. Clearly, Luca was dangerous. She knew he was behind John's murder. But she was also aware that the Shelby brothers were responsible for the death of Luca's father. She had already intimated to Tommy that she was concerned about how far this would go. Perhaps she could use this opportunity to try and ease tensions between the two families? Taking a breath, she wrapped her arms around her body and picked an imaginary thread from her coat. "Very well. Where and when shall I meet him?"

Xxxxxxxxxxx

He sat the cold, dimly lit changing room, his head bowed and hands rested on his knees. The sound of footsteps caused him to lift his head slightly and he watched as his companion crossed his path and take a seat on one of the benches a few feet away. The sounds from the nearby boxing ring had disappeared from his mind.

"Yeah, you're like me Tommy. You can't bear to watch a fight which has got rules." Alfie spoke, his eyes firmly fixed on the wall opposite. "Tommy, imagine, imagine that you could not see at all. You was born blind. Then, one day, you open up your eyes and you can see everything in the world, when before, you could only touch it or smell it. There it is, the revelation, innit? I've had one." Alfie had now turned his body towards Tommy who was regarding him closely. "Yeah, I saw a beautiful house down in Margate. A great big white building. Monkey puzzle tree against the sky blue. Beautiful. A piece of heaven actually. You can see the way the Earth curves, and I thought to myself, Alfie, you know what, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why don't you just sell every ounce of gold and sell every barrel of rum you got and just buy yourself some time, mate? I need to buy myself some time."

"You're moving to Margate?" Tommy finally spoke.

"I am actually, yeah. I need to get myself some rest. I need some rest." He admitted. "Plus, the Americans are here now, aren't they? So that's it, yeah. Its been that way ever since the war, innit? The Americans. Big fucks small. Always, actually. There is a fight going on out there, between big and small. Big will fuck small." Alfie pointed his cane towards the wall, almost pointing through the brick towards the boxing match going on down the corridor. "Right. Margate then. Blue skies. Heaven." Getting to his feet, Alfie made his way over to Tommy and took a step in front of him. "I will see you Tommy. By the pier."

Tommy took a drag of a cigarette and looked up at him. "Stay and watch the fight Alfie."

"No, you're alright. I already know who wins, don't I?" He stated, referencing the man they called Goliath who he had brought with him. "Ta'ra"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few hours had passed since she was last there, but Sara found herself back in Birmingham City Centre. Now, she was stood in front of the grand terracotta building. The gold writing across the entrance screamed opulence and decadence. Her fur lined coat protected her against the harsh weather and she pulled it tighter to her body as made her way through the archways. Making her way up the staircase of the Midland Hotel, she glanced around the faces, looking for one in particular.

"Mrs Shelby."

As she reached the top of the staircase, she turned at the sound of her name and smiled slightly as she came face to face with the man she had met earlier.

"Mr Changretta has arranged a table for you both. At the other end of the dining room. Please, follow me." He offered her his arm and gave her a small smile. She tentatively took it, still unsure of this man. As she allowed him to lead her away from the crowds, it dawned on her that she hadn't been able to make her family aware of where she was going. She hadn't seen Thomas since the night before and she couldn't deny, his constant disappearing acts were beginning to grate on her. He hadn't told her everything about what was going on and had only heard snippets of information about boxing matches from Polly and Arthur. It was at times like this that she found herself missing John. He would have been honest with her and told her what was happening. But the others, Thomas included, seemed to treat her as though she was glass. They didn't give her the credit for how strong she really was. Even Ada, who knew all about her upbringing and the hell that she had gone through just to survive didn't seem to have much time for their friendship any longer, given her trips back and forth to Boston. She felt incredibly isolated and found herself thankful for the company of Frances and the rest of the housekeeping staff. Had she followed orders and stayed in Small Heath, that feeling of isolation would have only grown. And now, she couldn't help but feel relatively thankful at Luca's invitation to dinner. Apart from her time back home in New York, she hadn't really had any adult company in so long. So much so, that she was starting to resent her current situation. What did Tommy expect of her? To sit at home and be the good little wife? Sit and accept all of his many flaws and indiscretions without a word? She wasn't sure that she could do that.

"Sara!"

His informal greeting caught her by surprise but she forced a smile as she came face to face with him. He walked the last few feet towards her, closing the gap between them and placed his hand on her shoulder, kissing her softly on the cheek. Smiling, Sara accepted his salutation and eyed him as he discreetly dismissed the man who had escorted her here, only after taking her coat. It was only then that she realised just how far apart from the other diners they were.

"It's so wonderful to see you."

"Likewise, Mr Changretta." She took the seat that he pulled out for her.

Sitting down opposite, Luca shifted his glass and signalled to someone behind her. "Come on Sara. There's no need for formalities between old friends."

She was startled as another man appeared beside her and poured champagne into her crystal glass. As he placed the bottle into the ice bucket, she eyed the label. _Moët._ He had clearly spared no expense as she eyed his expensive tailor made suit. Having lived a luxurious life in New York in her later years, she knew designers and could spot a well made outfit a mile away. Given that, she felt equal to him in her olive green embellished dress. The feathered headpiece she wore set her dress off perfectly and held her pinned hair in place.

"To old friends." Luca held up his glass towards her. After a short hesitation, Sara followed suit and lifted her own glass, clinking it against his before taking a sip. The flavour was incredible. She set it back down again, knowing she had to moderate what she was drinking as her thoughts fell to the small life growing inside of her. They sat for a while longer, talking about their childhoods and life since they had last seen each other. Dinner was served to them both and Sara couldn't remember the last time she had tasted a more perfectly cooked piece of lamb.

"I'll admit, I was surprised to see you in Thomas Shelby's office. I wasn't aware you had married again."

She looked up at him, slightly taken a back at his reference to her previous marriage.

"My mother talks of you sometimes. She was under the impression you had married a doctor." He stated, offering her an explanation.

"I did." She replied. "He was killed. Almost four years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He took another drink. "And now, you are married into the Peaky Blinders."

It wasn't a question, she knew that much. It almost felt like an interrogation. She took another drink, trying desperately to ignore the comments in the hope that he would change the subject. She glanced around and realised that Luca's men were standing at both of the doors of the room they occupied, covering her only exits. Recognising she likely wasn't leaving until Luca decided she was, she tried her best to relax and not put him under any additional pressure.

"How is that working out for you?" he asked.

Sara sighed. She felt the anguish she had felt over the last few months building up inside of her. "I think my husband is having an affair." She admitted, feeling some kind of solace at finally saying the words out loud that had been haunting her ever since she had arrived home. He looked almost shocked at her admission, not expecting her to share something so private, especially when they had only just been reacquainted.

"What makes you say that?"

"I have been back in New York for the last few weeks. I needed to get some distance. I arrived home yesterday. Thomas hadn't been home for some time. I could tell as soon as I walked in the door. When he did finally come home, I could smell perfume on him. And it wasn't a fragrance of mine. He seemed to withdraw from me. I had something I had to tell him, but he didn't give me the chance. He went straight upstairs to our son and didn't come to bed that night. It hasn't been the first time either. We took some time apart before and I am well aware that during that time, he was intimate with a Russian acquaintance of his." She finally took a breath before taking a large gulp of the cool champagne. She immediately felt embarrassed to have shared so much about her private life with a man who was essentially Thomas' enemy. But it was as though once she started, she couldn't stop. She glanced up at him and tried to read his expression, but it was futile.

"Why do you stay?"

"How could I leave?" she answered, honestly. "Women don't leave for this reason. Men can do what they like. What else can I do?"

"Well, perhaps nothing at this point but you may have your chance eventually." He responded, taking another drink. She looked up at him cautiously, trying to understand his thinly veiled threat. She looked up at the clock and realised that time had slipped away from her. Should Thomas have finally come home, he would be wondering where she was.

"I really should be getting home." She lifted her napkin from her lap and dropped it on the table. "It's getting late. Thank you for dinner." She stated, getting to her feet.

Luca followed suit and stood, making his way to her to pull her chair out. "Of course. Let me get your coat."

She watched as he made his way to his colleague nearby who handed him her coat. Making his way back, he held it out for her to slip her arms into. "Please, let me walk you out."

Tying the coat tightly to her body, Sara lifted her bag from the table and followed him, suddenly aware that they were walking out of the opposite door than they had come in. She gripped her bag tightly as he pushed open the door, unaware of the looks being exchanged by Luca and the man by the door. As she followed him out, she glanced at her surroundings and realised they had stepped into a back staircase. It was quiet, and the sound of her heeled shoes echoed against the floor as she walked towards the steps. Luca walked in front of her and she followed him down. As she took the first step, she gasped as her arms were hauled behind her back causing her to drop her bag. Her heart sank as it fell a few steps down, and she could only despair as she thought of the small handgun she had hidden inside it, now out of her reach. Luca had turned back towards her and pushed his hand up against her mouth, effectively silencing her. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes as she felt the feeling of the muzzle of the gun pressed against her spine by the assailant behind. She gasped at the shortness of oxygen under the force of Luca's hand over her mouth and nose.

"Shut up, you bitch." He hissed. "Now, you're going to listen to me. If you want to sort out those marriage woes of yours, you're going to do exactly as I say otherwise it won't just be you six feet under, but that precious husband and child of yours as well."

Hearing him threaten her family forced her into silence. She nodded in agreement as best as she could under his forcefulness.

"We're going to make our way outside to my car, and you are not going to do anything which draws attention to us. Understand?"

Nodding again, she winced as she felt the gun push deeper into her spine, forcing her to take the steps in front of her. Luca removed his hand warily, but she did as she was told and kept quiet. The grip on her arms loosened but quickly grasped her left, guiding her down the stairs and out into the cold air. Her eyes flew around her surroundings, trying to take everything in and commit it to memory. Luca pulled the door open and grasped her other arm, forcing her into the car.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked as Luca took the seat beside her.

He smirked. "To see your husband."


	43. Chapter 43

**Firstly, huge apologies for the long delay in getting this chapter out to you. The festive period was incredibly busy and work had been a bit crazy since! This story probably only has a few chapters left in it at the minute, however, its likely I will come back to it once Season 5 is released. Hoping it won't be too much longer since they've recently completed filming! I hope you stick with me and come back to the story then.**

 **Chapter 43**

The room was cold. Almost too cold. The wooden chair she sat on wasn't doing anything to help. Sara pulled her coat closer to her body as a chill shifted through her, causing her to shiver.

"It won't be too much longer."

She looked up towards the doorway as Luca Changretta made his way inside, lifting his trilby hat from his head and holding it in his hands, his long bony fingers running along the edges.

"What are you expecting here Luca?" Sara asked, crossing her arms across her body. The drive a few hours previous had been short and despite trying to follow the road, she had no idea where she was. She knew she was still in Birmingham, but she didn't know the area outside Small Heath well enough to recognise her surroundings. She wondered if Tommy had realised she was missing yet. He had been spending a lot of his time with his brothers discussing boxing and she wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but it resulted in them spending less and less time together. She thought about the life growing inside her and held her arms tightly around her stomach as she eyed her captor suspiciously. He took a step towards her and reached his hand out, resting it on her shoulder. She flinched at his touch, which didn't go unnoticed by the Italian.

"You think I'm going to hurt you Sara?"

"How should I know?" She questioned with venom. Her opinion of this man had drastically shifted from her once naïve perceptions of him. She pictured the sweet innocent little boy who would play in the streets with her, share his sweets with her and let her read his favourite books. That boy was gone. In place of him stood this man. This suave, sophisticated man who stood tall and lean above her. She almost didn't recognise him. "I didn't think you would have dragged me here but here we are."

"You're merely a pawn Sara." He smiled, dropping his hand down to his side. "I'm not going to hurt you. We have too much history. I'll be honest, I was surprised to see you here, in Birmingham."

She watched him intently as he took a seat beside her. The room was empty apart from a few pieces of worn furniture. Another chair sat discarded a few feet away and an old wooden table stood up on its side against the wall. "And why is that?"

"You have never seemed the type to set up home with a known murderer. When my mother told me you had married the doctor, well, I wasn't surprised then. But, to arrive in Birmingham with my own vendetta, to find you right in the middle of it, was a shock. He doesn't seem like your type."

"How would you know anything about my type? I married James out of convenience. I didn't love him. Not really. Our families were more pleased about our marriage than anyone. I married Thomas for love."

"And is that truly how he feels? Given our conversation earlier, it doesn't appear to me that everything is as rosy as you're trying to make out now." He quizzed, testing her resolve.

"Things aren't perfect." Sara admitted, glancing down towards the floor.

"You think he's having an affair. I'd say that's a bit more than not perfect. You have a child with him. Do you think its fair to bring them up in that situation? You, being constantly unhappy?"

"I'm pregnant." She confessed, unable to look him in the eye. "I haven't told him. I don't know how to. How can I if he's sleeping with someone else? I never believed in love. Other than my parents, I have never met another couple who honestly struck me as being together because they couldn't stand to be apart. It isn't to be expected. One should be grateful at having someone to look after them. I shouldn't question him, but I do. I think he likes that. He likes that I challenge him. That I don't let him walk all over me. But this last few months, I don't think I have the strength any longer. I know it is pointless telling you this, given you clearly want to hurt him, but I have no one else I can talk to."

"He killed my father and my brother, Sara." He stated, clearly unmoved by her revelation.

"You killed his brother, Luca." She shot back.

He smirked. "I didn't kill his brother."

"You ordered his murder, Luca. You allowed it to happen. You allowed him to be gunned down on his own doorstep, in front of his wife. His children were in the house. John was the closest thing I had to a brother. You ripped out a hole in my heart that day." She spat.

Luca shot to his feet, grasped the chair he had been sitting on and threw it hard across the room, hitting the wall on the opposite side. He rushed to her, placing his hands on the arm rests of the chair she was still sitting in, further trapping her there. "Did he tell you his family left my mother alone? Dragged my father away from her? Didn't allow them to say a proper goodbye to each other? She had to watch him being taken away from her, knowing she would never see him again. She had just had to deal with the murder of my brother. You knew Angel. You were friends with him. How can you sit here and defend him?" he was yelling now. Saliva shot from his lips, landing on her cheek, but she didn't dare move to wipe it away. Her eyes were wide with fear. She understood his anger. But she would defend her husband for as long as she had a breath. Despite their problems and her concerns, she loved him. She'd never felt a love like it. Even now, as they were apart, her body ached for him, for his touch. She would never allow anyone to turn her against him, regardless of what he had done. "No, I didn't think he would have told you. Well, regardless of this, I will assume that despite his indiscretions, he still loves you and cares for you. Meaning that once word gets to him that I have you, he'll quickly appear. That should be any time now."

She narrowed her eyes at him, feeling his breath on her face. He sighed and rolled his eyes at her silence. "Like I mentioned Sara, I'm not going to hurt you. But of course, he doesn't know that." He smirked as he took a step away from her, turning and making his way towards the doorway before giving her a final smile as he walked out the door, closing it behind him and leaving her alone with nothing else to do but hope and pray that she would find a way out of there.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The noise in the room had been deafening but Tommy couldn't hear any of it. His mind had been in overdrive from the events of the day. Arthur had spoken vehemently about not trusting the men who had come with Alfie. Despite Thomas' assurances that they had all been strip searched, Arthur wouldn't believe it.

" _They don't move right!"_ He had argued. But Tommy had tried to convince him it was the pills and the booze talking. However, having none of it, Arthur had disappeared from sight, seemingly convinced they were in danger. Tommy hadn't immediately followed. It took him a few minutes before he decided to follow. He had called out after him as he wandered the cold corridors, only drawing his gun and picking up the pace as the gun shot echoed around the halls. And now, the thoughts were whirring around his head as he spoke those immortal words.

 _"_ _My brother is dead."_

Rage had built up as he had found himself within the restraints of the boxing ring. Hand held high above his head. It had been a lie of course, but he desperately needed the leverage. He needed something else to justify the next steps of his plan against Changretta. But now, as he gripped the small piece of paper within his fingertips, the rage he felt earlier when he first believed his brother to be dead had returned. He had her. The guilt he felt at how he had allowed things to sour between them was overwhelming, and not one to usually allow himself to feel guilty, he felt anger deep within at the unfamiliar emotion. He had been so caught up in everything that had been going on, he hadn't even given Sara a second thought. He had let that part of his life slip off the radar, and as a result of dropping his guard, Changretta had managed to find his way into his inner circle. His focus had been on the fight, and on Arthur. His brother had intimated he was suspicious of some of the men who had arrived to support Goliath. The thought of being betrayed yet again by Alfie Solomons was all too familiar. He had followed them backstage, not long after Arthur had disappeared, and had been quickly accosted by Changretta's men. Passing on the information that Arthur was dead had been an easy decision to make and one which also in turn pulled Finn right into the heart of the Blinders. He was a man now. He had stepped into John's shoes with ease, which honestly had surprised Tommy, but he was proud of him. He had avenged his eldest brother.

But now, as he sat at home, a cigarette hanging from his lips and a brandy glass in his hand, he stared at the piece of paper which he held in his free hand. It had been delivered to the house whilst he had been away, and Frances had confirmed that his wife had not come home since going into the city the day before. He had called Arrow House and left word with his housekeeper to make his wife aware of Arthur's demise but since then, he had spent limited time in Watery Lane. Word hadn't reached him until today that Sara was missing. And now, as he read the typed letter bearing Changretta's signature, he struggled to prioritise his problems. Arthurs funeral was due to be held that week. He knew he had to continue to show face. He couldn't give Changretta any indication that he was onto him. But his mind was on Sara. Where the hell was she? He thought back to the last time he spoke to her. She had just come back from America. He had spent the evening before with Jessie Eden. Albeit, other than the kiss they had shared, nothing else had happened between them. He knew he had to seduce her to get her onside, and so far, it appeared to be working, but he couldn't help but feel remorseful for the impact this could potentially have on his marriage, should Sara ever find out. He knew she wouldn't accept his reasoning that it was purely business. And now, knowing that she was with Changretta, he was angry with himself at not spending that time with her when he had the chance. Jack slept soundly in his cot upstairs. He found himself wandering up to his room every few minutes just to convince himself that he hadn't lost his son as well. For whatever reason, Sara had left him in Frances' care. For that, he was thankful. He was barely holding up as it was and wasn't convinced he would still be in one piece had he lost them both.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

He sat at the oval wooden table. His coat and jacket had long since been discarded and a glass of whisky sat in his hand. He knocked it back down his throat as the sound of the parlour door slammed shut. Ada sat across from him and Polly wandered alongside him. He glanced up at his sister. Her eyes were heavy with dark circles. The family hadn't slept much. There had been no information gleaned to reveal his wife's whereabouts. Days had gone by and he hadn't heard a word. He thought back to his words with Alfie a few days previous. Maybe he was onto something. Get some rest. When Sara was back, they would go away together. Away from all the hurt, pain and drama which accompanied his family. She didn't deserve this. Jack didn't deserve this. He owed them so much more.

"Tommy, I've been trying to think of words."

Michael's voice sounded behind him. He couldn't even bring himself to look at him.

"Don't" Polly warned, glancing down at Thomas. "Words don't work. Michael, we're in a grave situation. Tommy has a plan. Instead of going to Australia, you're going to New York."

Michael glanced between his mother and the back of Tommy's head. He hadn't yet acknowledged him, and he didn't understand the change in plans. "Why?"

"Because the company has business to attend to in America." Ada spoke, lifting her head up to look at Michael. She had been heading up their Boston office for some time now but since the events of Christmas Day, she had refused to go back until things had settled down.

Michael swallowed, glancing between those around him. "Will I be coming back?"

"Train leaves in an hour Michael." Thomas finally spoke. The smoke billowed around him as he turned his head slightly, still refusing to look his way. Sensing his confusion and anger at the change, Thomas continued. "You made a choice. You knew I was going to be shot, and you chose not to tell me."

Defiance crept up inside Michael as he looked back at Polly. "I chose my mum."

Polly didn't respond to his comment. "When all this business is over, we'll all be free to make our own choices."

"So, is that it?" Michael asked, glancing back to Tommy.

"You get the train to Liverpool then the SS Monroe. The boat sails tomorrow." Tommy reached up and handed him his ticket. "Now you can go."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her heart pounded in the dark. He had left her there for days, her only human contact being whenever one of his henchmen appeared with small scraps of food for her. Her body was aching from spending much of her time sitting on the small wooden chair. He had never tied her up, choosing to allow her to wander around the small room. She had no sense of time. He room had no windows, so she had no idea how many times the sun had risen and set since she had been there. Her mind wandered to her husband and son. She knew he must realise she was missing by now, but would he have any idea where to look? Would he even choose to look? Would he assume she had run back to New York? Would he decide to leave her be and let her run? What if he did think that? What if he assumed she had left him for good this time? Perhaps moved on to the mistress she guessed he had been sleeping with. The thought crippled her. The image of another woman in her bed, touching her husband, raising her son. It made her heart ache. She knew she had to get out of the prison she had been locked up in. Looking around, she scoured the room for anything that might help her. Her eyes landed on the plate which had scraps of leftover food they had brought to her some time before. Getting to her feet, Sara took a few tentative steps and picked the plate up, pleased to discover that it was indeed a china plate. Putting it back down on the concrete floor, she hovered her heeled shoe above it. Taking one last glance up at the door, she pounded her heel down onto it, coughing as much as she could to mask the sound of the china breaking. She paused for a second and strained her hearing, listening intently to see if she could recognise the unmistakable sound of someone making their way towards her room. _Nothing._ She looked down, pushing a few strands of hair behind her ear as she did. The feeling of it sickened her as she felt the dirt and grease which had built up. How she longed for a long soak in their bath. An image of Tommy popped into her head. The look of him resting against the steel bath frame, the water hovering around his defined chest, tattoos peaking out above the liquid. She almost felt as though she was there, as though she could reach out and touch him. His eyes drifted over to her. Hooded and sexy. Blue like the vast ocean she had sailed so many times. He reached his hand out to her, beckoning her to join him. And she would. She would never refuse him. She couldn't. He was too tempting, too insatiable to ever reject. As the fantasy played in her mind, the unmistakable sound of footsteps brought her swiftly back to reality. Her eyes flew to the floor where she eyed the sharpest piece of the plate she had. Picking it up, she rushed to the door, pressing her back against the wall which would shield her from her captor until he stepped into the room. She knew she only had one chance at this. Any failed opportunity would likely see her punished, or worse. Her heart pounded hard in her chest as the key sounded in the lock. Turning, the noise squeaked, echoing around the room. Finally, the door slowly opened, shielding her line of sight from the room. The footsteps made their way inside. After a second, a figure appeared in front of her. His back was to her, but she could tell from his height that it wasn't Luca. At this point in time, she couldn't care less who it was. The images of Tommy and Jack played in her mind again, and she knew if she had any chance of seeing them again, she had to act fast. Stepping quietly out from her hiding spot behind the door, she lunged for him. Her left hand wrapped quickly around his neck and across his mouth, preventing him from shouting out. Sensing her chance, she plunged the sharp piece of china towards his throat, trying desperately to ignore the gargling sounds he made as blood began to seep down his neck, staining the white collar of his shirt. She held onto him tightly as his grip on her arms started to subside. She never looked into his eyes, choosing to keep her eye on her weapon as she forced it deeper into his throat. Eventually, his body started to give way and she stepped back, placing him back on the ground. Finally letting go of him, satisfied he was dead, she turned her attention to the door. The corridor was dark and she couldn't hear the sounds of anyone else coming. Looking back to the man on the floor, she reached down to him and searched the inside of his jacket. Smiling to herself as her hands landed on his holster which housed two separate guns. She quickly pulled off his jacket and removed the holster from his arms before slipping it onto her small frame. She cocked the barrel of each gun, checking to ensure they were both loaded before she made her way into the corridor, pulling the door closed behind her and locking it. Holding one of the guns out in front of her, she made her way through the winding corridors.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"The vendetta is done." Tommy sat across from Luca Changretta's mother. Polly by his side and Finn standing next to him.

"We say, the vendetta is won." She retorted. "We will take everything you have. All your businesses, signed over to us. You agree this, or my son will kill you all. One by one. Starting with that pretty wife of yours. I'm guessing you haven't seen her in some time. Not to worry though, she's in good hands."

Tommy felt Finn gasp beside him, but he didn't remove his gaze from her. He hadn't told the family about the note he had received. He knew to do so could jeopardise any chance he would have of getting her back. Tommy knew Finn was fond of Sara. Other than Ada, he was the first Shelby she had ever come across when he had almost knocked her over in the London park she frequented.

"The vendetta is won." Tommy nodded softly. "That's it. No more killing."

She smirked at him. "Who did you think you were, Mr Shelby?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Her heart pounded as she wandered quietly through the winding corridors. She still couldn't quite work out where she was. A basement of an abandoned factory perhaps. What troubled her more, was that she hadn't come across Luca or any more of his henchmen yet. The building was silent, other than the sounds of her feet scuffling on the concrete floor. As she turned a corner, her eyes continued to adjust in the darkness and as she looked up ahead of her, she spotted a staircase at the far end of the corridor. Trying not to get her hopes up too much, she tentatively walked towards it, her eyes and ears fully alert, listening desperately for any sounds of life. As she reached the steps, she grasped tighter on the gun, taking them one at a time. Looking around her as she made her way up, she started to see the tell tale signs of sunlight from a nearby window. It was dusk and only a few rays were still able to creep through. Her hand gripped tighter onto the gun as she took the next corner, her heart thumping at the thought of coming face to face with anyone. But silence continued as she kept walking.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Make sure he knows we're here to buy his business." Changretta made his way into Alfie Solomons distillery, flanked by his full entourage, expecting that business with Mr Solomons wasn't going to be straight forward. He had left Sara Shelby locked away where no one could find her, leaving two men there to keep an eye on her and an eye on anyone approaching the factory where he had hidden her.

"Mr Solomons!" his right hand man shouted. "Mr Changretta is here to see you!"

Changretta followed behind them, his toothpick moving precariously around his mouth. His suspicions were raised at the lack of noise coming from Alfie Solomons office. After having his scepticisms confirmed, he warned the others about opening the door. Sure enough, as they approached, they discovered the hand grenade which had been set.

"It seems Mr Solomons has already left town. So all this is mine."

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

She was almost there. She could feel it. She had been wandering around for what felt like hours but she was beginning to sense that she was almost at the exit. The factory had been a maze. She couldn't even tell what type of factory it had been as it was completely abandoned. As she reached yet another door. She took a step towards it, lifting her hand onto the handle. Just as she was about to push it down, the sound of a cough from the other side stopped her in her tracks. She froze, completely unable to move. It was never going to be this easy, she reasoned with herself. Other than the man who had come into her cell, she hadn't seen anyone else yet. She had wondered where Luca could be. Where could he have gone that required all of his men to go with him? It was then that she thought of Tommy. The likelihood was that he had gone after Tommy. She had to get out, and quickly. Grasping onto the gun again, she softly pushed down on the handle, unsure of what she was going to meet on the other side. She threw the door open, jumping back out of sight as she did. Expectantly, the stranger on the other side took a few steps into the doorway. She stepped quickly out of the shadows and raised the gun up in front of her, not pausing for a breath as she pulled the trigger over and over again. The bullets hit him all across his body. His chest, shoulder and stomach. His body jerked back every time he felt the impact until he could finally take no more and collapsed onto the floor. Walking carefully towards him, she gently kicked his leg to check for any signs of life, but nothing came. She tossed the gun she had been using which was now out of bullets and pulled another from the man's holster, keeping her fully equipped with two. Checking the barrel, she made her way through the doorway and looked around. Realising she was now at the entrance, her heart began to race as she realised she was only seconds away from freedom. She looked around and satisfied no one else was there, she pushed down on the handle of the main door. _Nothing. Locked._ Her mind raced as she pulled the keys from her pocket, desperately pushing each one into the lock until she finally found one that fit. Relief flooded through her as she turned the key and pushed the handle down. Peeking out from the doorway as she slowly opened it, the smells and feeling of the cool night air hit her in the face like a freight train. She had never known what a prison felt like and she knew at that point, she would never take this feeling for granted again. Looking around her surroundings, she realised she was out of the city and in farmland. Sighing, Sara quickly recognised it wasn't going to be quite as easy as she had hoped in getting back to Small Heath. Keeping the gun tightly in her hand, she took to her heels and ran off along the dirt track and into the darkness.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

Thomas continued to pace the room impatiently. It was quiet. The only sound was from his shoes as they clipped against the concrete floor. He wandered over to a nearby table and picked up one of the many bottles of gin. He knew this was it. This was everything the last few months had been leading up to. Arthur was safe, he knew that much. However, Luca Changretta would be arriving momentarily. He was coming under the pretence of a deal being made. Thomas would pass Shelby Company Limited over to him and he would walk away with his life. His mind raced as he thought of Sara. He had to know she was safe. He had to get her location from Changretta. Sara had spoken of him fondly before she was aware of the pain and damage he had inflicted upon their family. The fact this Italian bastard had her did little to ease his worries. He'd hoped that their history would be what would save his wife. Surely Changretta wouldn't harm one of his own. One of the people who had been close to his family. But then again, the family was unpredictable. His mother had proven that when she had appeared at the funeral they had staged for Arthur. Gone was the meek, quiet woman they had left under the pier, and in her place was a demanding, angry and volatile matriarch of the Changretta dynasty. She made no mention of his wife though. He couldn't even be sure Luca had let her in on the fact he was holding his enemy's lover hostage. Tommy's eyes glazed over the bottle in his hand which bore his family name.

 _"_ _Distilled for the eradication of seemingly incurable sadness"_

He read the label several times. He considered taking a drink. Perhaps it would work to eradicate incurable sadness. That was all he felt at that time. However, thinking better of it, he placed the bottle back down as the sounds of footsteps began to echo around the cold room. He stood straight, removing his hat as Changretta and his men appeared brandishing their guns in a futile attempt to intimidate him. After all of the men he had faced over the last few years - _Kimber, Sabini, Solomons, Campbell, the corrupt Father Hughes to name a few,_ \- it was going to take more than that to threaten him.

"Guardali…." He spoke first, in his native tongue. "All that's left of the Peaky fuckin' blinders."

Polly and Finn stood alongside Tommy, standing firm against the crowd of Italians which clearly outnumbered them. Changretta walked towards them, snapping his gloved fingers as he stood in front of Tommy. One of his men made his way to a nearby table and placed down a leather satchel, opening it up and pulling out prepared paperwork.

"I've had my lawyer draw up these papers…."

Tommy listened as he rhymed off the businesses under the Shelby name, demanding they are signed over to the Changretta's. Tommy said nothing. His eyes never leaving the Italians. He pulled Tommy's gun from his holster, demanding they are all searched as he made his way back to the table. He held up the pen before throwing the papers down onto the floor.

"You can sign them on your knees."

As his patience began to wear thin at the lack of reaction from the three in front of him, Changretta grasped the side of the table, throwing it up and out of the way. Tommy smirked as he bent down, never taking his eyes from Luca. "A friend of mine once said, big fucks small. So I had to find someone bigger than you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her feet were aching. She wasn't sure how much longer she could carry on. Each time a car passed her, she dove into the side of the road, terrified that it would be Luca. She couldn't risk trying to flag someone down. As the lights of Small Heath finally came into view, she felt her energy levels rising as she felt closer to her goal. She pushed through the pain which course through the soles and heels of her feet and urged herself to pick up her pace. Finding her strength from within, she took to her heels, picked up her skirts and ran as fast as she could manage. The sun had since come up and daylight was all around her as she finally reached Small Heath. She ran straight to the office door, pounding hard on it.

"We ain't open yet!" a voice came from within.

"Lizzie, open the fuckin'door!" she screamed.

Sara placed one hand up on the doorframe and clutched her stomach with the other, desperately trying to catch her breath. She looked up under her eyelashes as Lizzie's tall frame appeared.

"Where is he?"

Lizzie's eyes narrowed. She looked over the woman standing in front of her and could hardly take in the sight. She was normally so well turned out. Her hair and make up were always impeccable. Her clothes always pressed and clean. And now, she looked as though she had been sleeping in a field for a month.

"Where is he, Lizzie?" Sara demanded once more, her patience wearing thin.

"Who?" Lizzie retorted, knowing full well who she meant.

"You know damn well who." Sara ranted. "My _husband."_

Lizzie stiffened. She said the word with such meaning, such intent. She knew it was a warning. A reminder that Thomas Shelby belonged to her, and never would Lizzie be able to claim him. "He's at the distillery."

Without letting her say another word, Sara turned and ran down the cobbled streets towards Shelby Company Limited's newest venture. As the building came into sight, Sara's eyes cast over it, remembering the day he had brought her here. His eyes had lit up as he told her all about the work he was doing to create his own brand of Shelby gin. He'd let her try some, and she'd been surprised by how much she had enjoyed it. Now, as she reached the entrance, her heart started to ache as she saw the cars parked outside. The same ones Luca had been driving in. She slowed down and began to walk slowly as she got to the door. Just as she was about to push it open, she was taken aback as a hand appeared from behind her and over her mouth. Another arm came around her body and held her in place. She tried to scream but it was no use. Her body struggled against the unfamiliar shape behind her, only stopped as a voice sounded in her ear.

"Sara, it's just me."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We also contacted a businessman in Chicago." Polly spoke, a smirk played on her face and her eyes lit up as she watched Changretta squirm under the thinly veiled threats her nephew was throwing around. "He's also interested in moving into the liquor business in New York."

"His name is Alphonse Capone."

"You been talking to that fat fuck?"

"See, all the blood relatives you brought with you from New York. They're all dead, Mr Changretta. And these men here, they work for money from the highest bidder. They now have new orders." Tommy smiled, still on his knees staring up at the man in front of him, who was clearly now looking visibly shaken."

"Is that right?" Luca slowly turned towards them. "Is that right?" He repeated, before turning back to the Blinders and attempting to pull his gun from inside his jacket. Anticipating this, Tommy was ready, reining down punches as the two men fought intensely.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Arthur?!" Sara turned towards the voice as his arms loosened from around her. She grasped onto his shirt as she pulled him close.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked, holding her tight. "Tommy's been goin' out of his mind."

"Luca." She answered briefly. "It doesn't matter though. I'm here. Where's Tommy?"

As she spoke, the sound of shouting and broken glass cut through their conversation. "Shit." Arthur looked up at the door. "Wait here. Don't come in unless one of us comes and gets you."

She nodded, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as he gripped onto her shoulders, willing her to understand. She watched helplessly as he pulled the door open and disappeared inside. He made his way through the distillery halls until finally coming to a glass door. Pushing it open, he stepped inside, just as his brother was beating Changretta off one of the wooden tables. He quickly eyed the others. Polly smiled with recognition as he appeared and the shock on Finn's face was evident. It had been difficult staying in hiding all this time. It was hard knowing he was lying to his family, but it had to be done. If this war was ever going to end, they had to believe he was dead. Tommy hauled Changretta to his feet by the shoulders of his jacket. The blood poured from the wounds which covered his face. He held him up and leaned towards him, his lips close to his ear.

"Where is my wife?" he whispered.

Changretta's eyes moved slightly to the left, glancing over Tommy's features. He smirked, letting out a small laugh. "Fuck you."

The bullet sounded before Tommy could do anything else. Luca's body flew backwards as the impact hit him hard. It was a perfect aim. He fell to his knees as Arthur lowered his gun.

"No!" Tommy shouted, diving down towards him. He gripped onto Changretta's lapels. "Where is my wife?! What have you fuckin' done with her?" he screamed.

Arthur went to him, kneeling down beside him before hauling him back to his feet, allowing his grip of Changretta to drop. "It's alright brother." He spoke.

Tommy looked up at him. His eyes wide with fear as if the death of Changretta was the last possible way of knowing Sara's whereabouts. He nodded briefly, attempting to compose himself as he turned to the men still standing in the room.

"Leave." Arthur spoke. It wasn't a request. The men quickly filed out, leaving only the Shelby family left. "Tell your boss what you saw here today. Tell him. You don't fuck with the Peaky Blinders."

As the room emptied, Tommy turned back to his brother. "How the fuck am I going to find her now, Arthur?"

"You don't need to, Tommy." He whispered. "She's found you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She watched from the alleyway as the men filed out of the building. She daren't make herself known to them so kept within the shadows until the cars disappeared. The single gun shot had sounded a few minutes before but she had no idea who had taken the bullet. All she knew was that neither Luca Changretta or the Shelby's had come out. Unable to deal with much more waiting around, she pushed the door to the distillery open. It had been quiet for some time now and despite Arthur warning her not to move, she couldn't wait any longer. Her hand fell upon her stomach, to the life growing inside of it. She thought of Jack. How she missed him. It had been over a week since she had last held him in her arms. She prayed now, that if this was the end of the vendetta with the Italians, then life for her would settle. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could handle. She was strong, she knew that, but this life could break the strongest of people. As she reached the glass door, she could see figures moving around behind the frosted glass. The tell tale shapes of the peaked caps her husband and his family wore were unmistakeable. Taking a deep breath, she slowly pushed open the door. A gasp of air caught in her throat as she surveyed the scene in front of her. Luca was lying on the ground, lifeless. Polly and Arthur stood in front of Tommy, their hands on his shoulders as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. It was Finn who spoke first.

"Sara?"

She looked up at him. Her eyes met his and she smiled. He was no longer the little boy who had almost knocked her over whilst chasing after Karl in Regent's Park. Four years seemed so long ago. And now, he had taken a growth spurt. He towered over her and she could see straight away how he had fit straight into the world of the Peaky Blinders. Part of her ached. She didn't want this life for him. But she knew family was important to him, just as it was to the others. But she feared he would end up with the same fate as John. She smiled as he took a tentative step towards her. Her eyes narrowed as he stopped. She followed his gaze as he glanced over at his brothers. It was then that she finally caught Tommy's eye. Recognising that Finn was simply giving his brother his place to properly greet her first, she turned her body away from him. Tommy slowly got to his feet. He felt as though his eyes were deceiving him. As though she was a mirage in the middle of the Sahara desert, only there to tempt and confuse him. But, as he took a few steps towards her, she didn't disappear. His surroundings disappeared as he focused on her. His mouth slightly agape as he took her in. She looked awful. He hated that. Bile crept up into his throat as he imagined what she had been through. Her long coat hung from her shoulders. Her dress barely clung to her the way it used to. He recognised it as one he had bought her when they had visited London. It used to hug her body in all the right places, but now, the apparent weight loss she had suffered was clear. He continued his journey across the room until he finally reached her. She stared up at him, taking in the sheer blueness of his eyes. As she did, she felt her knees finally give way. The adrenaline she had been running on was quickly disappearing and she felt as though her body was about to give up on her. His reflexes were like that of a cat and his arms outstretched in front of him, catching her as she fell. Her body meshed immediately in to him, fitting him like a glove the way she always had. He immediately responded, unable to prevent himself from doing so. His fingertips swept across the back of her neck, underneath her hair, pulling her to him. He held her tightly as she let out a sob. Her arms crept underneath his jacket, slipping up his spine. He shivered at her touch as she buried her face in his neck. He glanced up as Polly shifted beside him. Reluctantly, he pulled away from his wife, although still keeping her close to him.

"We should get back." Polly finally spoke.

Tommy nodded. "Let's get you home." He smiled down at Sara, trying to meet her eyes, although she wasn't quite as receptive.

Tommy took a few steps to the door and Sara glanced up at Arthur and Polly as they made their way past her. A slight smile tugged at Polly's lips. "It's good to have you back Sara. We've missed you around here. That little boy of yours has been crying for you."

Sara smiled up at her. "I can't wait to see him."

"I'm sure he's the same. He will be so desperately glad to see you." She lowered her voice slightly. "And that little one in there as well." Polly's eyes flickered down to Sara's stomach, causing her to gasp slightly before she quietly followed them out of the distillery and into the daylight, leaving the body of Changretta lying in a pool of blood.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

The journey back to Arrow House was a long one. It was quiet. Unusually quiet. Sara sat staring out of the window as the countless fields passed by her. Every so often, she would sense that Tommy would turn his head slightly to look at her, but not once did he speak.

As they reached the vast entrance, the car shook slightly as it made its over over the rough gravel which lined the drive. After what felt like an eternity, she breathed a sigh of relief as the car came to a complete stop. Not saying a word, she pushed open the car door and stepped outside, pulling her coat to her body, protecting herself as best as she could against the cool air. Spring was almost upon them, yet she couldn't feel any warmth in the air. Tommy removed the key from the ignition and watched her intently as she made her way towards their front door, not turning back or waiting for him. His eyes focused sharply on her as she pushed open the door and made her way inside. He sat for a few more seconds trying to work out the reasons for her silence and somber. He still wasn't sure exactly where she had been or what Changretta and his men had subjected her to, and her reluctance to talk to him was playing on his mind. After reuniting Arthur with Linda, she had been talkative, however, as soon as they were alone, her voice seemed to disappear. Stepping out of the car, he made his way inside, it surprised to be greeted by Frances and Mary as he stepped into the foyer.

"Mr Shelby!" Frances exclaimed. "It's very good to have you both home."

He nodded in response. "Where is my wife?"

The looks they exchanged did not go unnoticed by him. "Mary is just going upstairs to draw Mrs Shelby a bath. She did request that she wasn't disturbed for the remainder of the night." Frances responded timidly.

"Is that so?"

She nodded briefly in return but wasn't overly surprised when he removed his black coat and cap and handed them to her before taking off up the winding staircase.

Sara stood in their bedroom in front of the full length mirror which hung on the wall. She had stepped in to check on Jack when she had arrived but he had been sleeping soundly, and despite her desperation to hold him, she had been wary of waking him. Choosing to leave him be, she had made her way back through to the master bedroom. She felt relief wash through her as she had run her hand along the luxurious bedding. Now as she found herself in front of the mirror, she barely recognised herself. All she wanted now was to soak in the hot water and try desperately to scrub any reminder of the previous week from her body. She knew it would take some time for the mental scars to disappear but physically, she needed to be clean again. Reaching up behind her back, she grasped for the ties and buttons which bound her dress to her body. Growing increasingly frustrated as she couldn't reach them all, she dropped down onto the floor in anger. She was angry at allowing such a trivial thing to irritate her, but she couldn't help herself. As she continued to reach for the tie, she shuddered as she felt Tommy's hand graze the tops of her shoulders.

"Let me." He spoke, so quietly, she barely heard him. It was almost unnatural.

Conceding, she allowed her hands to drop by her side as he slowly finished unbuttoning her dress. Glancing up at her over her shoulder, their eyes met in the mirror.

"Why don't you talk to me?" He asked.

Sara shrugged. "What is there to talk about?"

"I think we need to talk about what happened to you." He prompted, gently tugging the sleeves of her dress down her arms. Her arms folded across her body as he pulled the dress down her body before she finally stepped out of it. She kept her stomach hidden. If he had noticed, he had chosen not to acknowledge it. "We should be talking to each other."

"Are you having an affair?" She asked abruptly, her eyes not leaving his in the mirror, desperate to see his initial reaction. His eyes darkened as he evaluated her question.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." She stated. "I asked if you were having an affair? Have I wasted my time here? Is my life and marriage a lie?"

Tommy sighed before letting her go and making his way over to the bed. He removed his jacket and holster before starting to unbutton his shirt. Normally the actions would be enough to entice her, yet she remained impassive. "I think Mary has finished drawing your bath. I'm going to get a drink."

She watched as he wandered towards the bedroom door. He took one last fleeting glance at her before disappearing from sight, closing the door behind him. Her eyes turned back to the mirror as she gently stroked her growing stomach. Was this what life was about? Constant sadness and disappointments? Worry and strain? She wasn't sure she was cut out for any of it, and living in the world of the Peaky Blinders did not come without its share of dramas.

"Mrs Shelby." A small voice sounded from the other side of the bedroom door. "Your bath is ready."

"Thank you Mary." She answered, pulling on her robe before heading down the hall to the bathroom.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

An affair?

The question had knocked him for six. Thomas sat in his favourite leather armchair in the library, slowly drinking his whisky. He looked around the room. The room which had lain empty for so long recently. Between avoiding the house completely whilst Changretta was on the rampage plus Sara's trip back to New York, there hadn't been much requirement for this room. He thought back to the number of times he had come home from work and found Sara asleep on the chaise longue, another book resting on her chest as she slept, not doubt exhausted with her imagination running wild as she caught up on yet another adventure. Sometimes he would sit here and just watch her sleep. He found it relaxing. It was a distraction from everything else going on in his life. But how had that question even crossed her mind? Truthfully, he knew why. Deep in his heart, he knew why she questioned him. He hadn't exactly been the epitome of an ideal husband. He sat for another few minutes before finally finishing off his drink and making his way back towards the staircase. As Tommy wandered along the landing, he could hear the gentle splashing of the water from the bath and for a moment, he considered going inside and offering to join her, something they had done on many occasions before, but this time, it didn't feel appropriate. Pushing the thought from his mind, he turned into the bedroom, removing his shirt as he went. He loosened off his trousers and his shoes before finally sitting on the edge of the bed and awaiting her arrival.

After a few more minutes, he finally heard the sound of her footsteps on the creaky floorboards. Preparing himself, he tensed as she entered. Her white silk robe clung to her body and Tommy knew the curves of her skin well enough to know she was naked underneath. The water from her damp hair settled on her shoulders before slipping down in between her breasts, causing the robe to turn slightly translucent. He looked her up and down, almost as a lion would stare at its prey. She stopped in her tracks as she caught his wandering eyes.

"Why would you think I'm having an affair?" He asked.

She knew by asking him would result in the need to have this conversation and although she truly didn't want to have it, she knew she had no choice if she had any hope of moving on.

"The first time I seen you when I came back from New York, you smelt of women's perfume. And not mine. Don't tell me it's all in my head Thomas, please. Just give me the courtesy of telling me the truth."

As she spoke, he knew exactly what she was talking about. This was the day after his meeting with Jessie Eden. He hadn't been expecting her home so soon. Immediately his eyes betrayed him. Despite him putting on a poker face to everyone else, he couldn't lie to her. She could see right through him.

"I'm not having an affair, Sara." It was the truth. "I met with a woman whilst you were gone. It was purely business."

"Business." She mimicked. "That's your excuse for everything isn't it? Does the fact I'm your wife not mean anything to you if it's business? Who was she? Or rather, who is she? As I'm assuming this business hasn't concluded and she is still in your life?"

He nodded briefly. "Her name is Jessie Eden. She's a union convenor. I needed information from…"

"Just stop, Tommy." She held up her hand to him. "I don't need all the details. Just tell me, how many more are there going to be? How many more Jessie Edens, Lizzie Starks, Russian duchesses and horse trainers are there going to be? How long do you expect me to put up with it? You think I'm going to turn a blind eye every time you fuck someone else under the pretence of business?"

Her words caught him off guard. She was deadly serious. He could tell from the look in her eyes. He stood and began to walk towards her.

"Stop." She demanded, stepping back from him. "I can't deal with any more of this Thomas. I've went from James hurting me physically, to you absolutely destroying me. I'll tell you one thing now, Mr Shelby, that man may have lifted his hands to me, but the pain you put me through every time you allow another woman to touch you in a way that only I should be doing, is a thousand times worse. And you can kid yourself that because it's business, it doesn't count, but I don't work that way. I'm your wife. I deserve more than this. I'm the mother of your children. Doesn't that count for anything? Don't I deserve more respect than that?"

His eyes widened as she collapsed down onto a nearby chair. Her anger was real. He had waited on tears falling from her emerald eyes, but nothing came. That was when he knew she was angry. When she was so far past being upset, he knew he had to tread carefully. But despite him understanding every word she had spoken, there was only one word he had focused on.

"What do you mean, children?"

Her head snapped up at him. She could have kicked herself. She was angry with herself at letting the word slip. This wasn't how she imagined telling him her news, especially not in the middle of an argument, and the last thing she wanted to do, was to derail from their discussions. They had serious issues which had to be resolved and now she worried they wouldn't be, given the bombshell she had just dropped on him.

"Stop trying to change the subject Thomas." She argued. She refused to have this discussion at the minute, they had to fix the issues they were having first.

"Sara…" he took a few tentative steps towards her. "Tell me what you mean."

"Tell my why you keep having sex with other women?" She counteracted.

"I didn't sleep with Jessie Eden if that's what you're asking." He argued. "I could have, but I didn't. I need her onside though."

"Am I supposed to be grateful?" She spat. "You didn't sleep with this one. Yet. Well thank you very much Mr Shelby. I can't tell you how grateful I am to you for that."

He sat back down on the bed, feeling defeated.

"Are you asking for my permission to sleep with her?"

He shook his head and got to his feet once more. He crouched down beside her, clasping her hands within his. Despite the warmth in the room from the fire Frances had lit earlier, they were freezing. It had been a long and tiring day and right now, all he wanted to do was sleep. It had felt like an age since he had last shared a bed with anyone. He hadn't slept well. The sounds of the pick axes had come back with a vengeance and he found himself haunted by them all over again. He knew having her home and back beside him would appease the demons that were haunting him. Tommy lifted her hand slowly and kissed her bare knuckles before finally getting to his feet.

"Come to bed."

Unable to argue any longer, she stood, following his lead. She was exhausted. Completely mentally drained. And whilst she was struggling to forgive and forget, she knew she badly wanted some rest. Allowing him to guide her to their sprawling bed, she stood still as he peeled the damp robe from her shoulders. She climbed into bed and didn't protest as he crawled in behind her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her tight to him. Fairly quickly, she heard the soft snores sounding in her ear, indicating he had fallen asleep, yet she couldn't force herself to close her eyes. She lay there, wide awake, trying to make sense of the mess she found herself in.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

 **A/N – Thank you all for sticking with me. I've been trying to get the updates out a little quicker. Part of this chapter will be pushing the T rating a bit. As with before, I've indicated this with the continuous X's, so if you don't want to read it, just skip by to the next line of X's. You won't lose anything of the story. Thanks again, and please leave me a little review** **?**

Can you ever be sitting in a crowded room of people and feel completely alone? Sara Shelby traced her fingernail around the outline of her wedding rings as she sat within the sea of people. Classical music circulated around the room. Uniformed waiters danced across the floor, dodging the bodies as they drifted around, holding trays of tall stemmed glasses filled to the brim with champagne.

Arrow House was the busiest it had been for a long time. Months had passed since there were more than a handful of people within the entire building. The horrors of the Changretta vendetta starting to drift from everyone's mind. Everyone but hers. The thoughts of the time she spent locked up in that cold, damp room swirled around in her head. Glancing around, everyone seemed preoccupied, so sensing an opportunity, Sara got to her feet and made her way outside, grabbing her coat as she went.

It wasn't particularly cold, despite it only being February but still, she buttoned her black coat as far as it would go and wandered around the grounds. She could still hear the music radiating through the wind and the noise of chatter seemed to follow her around. Arrow House stood proud against the dusk sky behind it, luminated by the few lights that were lit inside. Sara drifted around to the back of the house towards the stables, tilting her head slightly to the side as her eyes fell upon Tommy's midnight black steed. He had a bit of a temper, much like his owner, growing restless and anxious as he heard her approach. However as she reached him, their eyes met and he settled quickly. Reaching up to a nearby shelf, Sara lifted one of the many grooming brushes and made her way back over to him. Resting her left hand delicately on his neck, she stroked him, settling him further. Using her right hand, she began brushing his coat along his back. He stood obediently as she continued, humming a soft melody as she did.

"Why does Tom never ride you as much?" she whispered.

"Perhaps because he can't go as fast as my car?"

His voice startled her, but she continued what she was doing until she felt him approach behind her. They had barely spoken since they had finally been able to move back home following the showdown at Tommy's distillery. Their conversations had been tainted by Tommy's actions and she was finding it difficult to get past his betrayal. Many times she had contemplated taking Jack and going back to New York, but she accepted that her doing that in the past probably hadn't helped. She needed to stick this out and work through their problems if she had any hope of making their marriage work. As he finally reached her, the familiar smell of him assaulted her senses. It was exactly the same way he smelt the first time he had walked into her living room, when she had found herself unceremoniously close to him on her couch. The smell of his aftershave mixed with his tobacco and whisky was a delicious combination and one that always found her knees weakening. Shaking the image of him sprawled out beside her from her subconscious, she resumed her brush strokes, tensing slightly as his hands rested on her shoulders.

"Needed to get away?" he whispered.

She nodded, not saying anything. Tommy reached over and took the brush from her, causing her movements to cease. He dropped it down onto the floor beside them, prompting the horse to jerk forward.

"Hey." Sara leaned forward, gently stroking his cheek. "Shhh."

"You're good with him."

She shrugged, moving her hands to his neck and absentmindedly beginning to plait his mane. "He needs a calming influence around him. You don't do much to provide that."

Tommy smirked at her before reaching forward and clasping her hand, forcing her to turn around and face him. She looked up as she did, and their eyes finally met. It was the first time they had really looked at each other in days. Her eyes searched his, taking in the iciness of their colour. She traced her bare finger down his cheekbone as her eyes continued to drift over his appearance. He was wearing his typical attire of his peaked cap and long black coat. Underneath, he was wearing a new three piece suit with crisp white shirt and black tie. The chain of the new gold pocket watch she had bought him for Christmas glimmered under the faint light in the stables. His heart sank slightly as he took in her appearance. Her blonde hair was pinned at the nape of her neck, but he could see it had come loose with the gentle breeze blowing outside. Her emerald eyes were slightly bloodshot and her normally sallow skin had paled.

"Oh, Sara." He pulled her too him, wrapping his arms tightly around her and claiming her lips. He caught her off guard, but as his mouth moved against hers, she felt every doubt she'd had disappear. It was the first time they had had any kind of intimacy for weeks and she relished it, remembering exactly why she fell for him in the first place.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Suddenly, something changed within their kiss. The urgency grew and Tommy found himself manoeuvring her away from the horse. Without breaking the kiss, or opening his eyes, his other heightened senses guided her towards the other side of the stables, forcing her back against the wall. His hands drifted down her sides, reaching down past her hips before grasping the backs of her thighs. He easily lifted her, pushing her against the wall and closing the gap between them. Her skirt hitched up her legs allowing her to wrap them tightly around his waist. Her hands grew a life of their own and began loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Sensing her comfort and acceptance of him, he pulled her from the wall and moved a few feet to his left. His hands shifted from under her thighs, allowing her to drop her feet back to the ground. As he continued to kiss her, he pulled his coat from his shoulders and threw it onto a nearby hay bale. Eventually, she lifted her hands and pushed against his chest, breaking their kiss. He stared down at her, his eyes wild with desire, and watched as she reached down and grabbed his coat. He wasn't entirely sure what to expect her to do but he watched her intently as she spread the material out across the hay. Turning back towards him, she willed him to come to her as she removed her own coat. Recognising her plea, he took one stride toward her, closing the gap once again as he manoeuvred her down onto the discarded garment. Hovering above her, his hands reached up under her skirt, grappling for her undergarments. Removing them swiftly, he brought his lips back down to hers as his hand slipped between her thighs. Tommy smiled against her lips, letting out a low groan as he realised she was ready for him. Her hands made quick work of his trousers, unbuttoning them quickly and pushing them and his boxers down past his hips. Refusing to waste anymore time and his thoughts so far away from the crowds of people back in their home, he pushed her legs open and settled himself in between them. Her arms found their way around his back and hooked up over his shoulders, pulling him tighter into her. Her body quickly accommodated him, and her bare legs wrapped up around his waist, desperately trying to keep him close. Their foreheads met and their eyes never left each other's as their pleasure continued to heighten.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Tommy, are you in here?"

The sound of the woman's voice initially went unheard. It was only as she entered the stables and called for him again did his body go rigid. She turned the corner, her eyes drifting over the surroundings until they finally landed on the entwined bodies lying on the nearby haybales. Lizzie's mouth widened slightly as she surveyed the scene, almost unable to take her eyes from a partially dressed Thomas Shelby.

"Can I help you Lizzie?" he finally asked, still not removing himself from his wife.

"Oh….um…Arthur is looking for you." She murmured.

"Alright. Well you can tell him I'll be there as soon as I've finished making love to my wife." He smirked at her.

Lizzie's initial embarrassment quickly shifted to anger as her eyes narrowed at the pair. She sighed loudly as she turned on her heel and stormed from the stables.

"Fuck. Lizzie." He cursed under his breath, glancing down at his clearly frustrated wife below him who was desperately trying to stifle her laughter. "I suppose we should get back."

Sara nodded, cupping his face and running her thumbs along his jawline. She laughed to herself as she realised, he hadn't even removed his cap from his head. She reached up and gently kissed him as he eventually pulled himself from her. They quickly tidied themselves up and as Sara attempted to fix her hair, pulling stray pieces of hay out of her curls.

"Tommy…" she spoke suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

He turned to her as he pulled his coat back on and lit a cigarette. "Yes love?"

"Before we go back in, I need to tell you something." She stumbled across her words and he could tell it was something she was struggling with. He took a few steps towards her and placed his hands on her arms, being careful not to burn her with his lit cigarette.

"What's wrong?" he asked, tentatively.

"Nothing's wrong." She assured him. "Well, at least I don't think anything's wrong. Last week, when we got home, I said something to you that I didn't elaborate on."

He nodded, knowing exactly what she was referring to.

"I said that I was the mother of your children." She reiterated, her eyes never leaving his and leaving no room for doubt. "I said it to make a point. I refuse to not have the respect in this relationship that I deserve. But, I also said it for another reason."

He took another drag of his cigarette as he studied her carefully, nodding along with what she was saying. He understood her completely and her words had been playing on his mind since they had arrived home. They had resonated with him and he had vowed to find another way around the Jessie Eden situation. He honestly believed he could have had it all. That he could keep his family and business life separate, and for some reason, he believed she would be fine with that. In all honesty, he wasn't sure why he thought that. He remembered back to his days with Grace and it certainly never went down well with her.

"Tommy, I said that, because I'm pregnant." She interrupted his thoughts. "I wasn't sure how to tell you. With everything else that was going on, there was never a good time. Plus, I didn't know how you would take the news. I mean Jack is only six months old and I know we haven't discussed…."

Her words were silenced with Tommy's actions as threw his cigarette to the ground and closed the space between them, his lips claiming hers once more. She groaned quietly against his touch before he finally released her, a smile tugging at his lips.

"You're not angry?" she queried.

"How could I possibly be angry?" He grinned, wrapping his arms around her and spinning her around. She let out a laugh as he finally set her down. "I'll be there this time. I won't make the same mistakes I made with Jack."

She smiled up at him. "That was easier than I thought it would be. Come on, we should get back. I'm sure Lizzie has made everyone aware of the reasons for our tardiness."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

As they arrived back at home, Thomas removed both their coats before wrapping an arm around Sara, clinging onto her intricate emerald green dress and guiding her into the large living room. Eyes fell upon them as they entered and knowing looks were passed, indicating that Lizzie had indeed sung like a canary once she had arrived back. Smirking, Sara turned and placed a kiss on Tommy's lips before releasing herself from his embrace and making her way over to a nearby couch to take a seat beside Ada, lifting a glass of champagne as she went. She could feel Lizzie's eyes on her as she passed but she couldn't bring herself to care. Tommy, ever the showman, lifted a glass of brandy and lit another cigarette before making his way into the middle of the room.

"Right. Hey!" he shouted, quickly garnering his guests attention. "Listen up, before we go and eat, I'd like to say a few words. The last time we were all here, it ended badly. But now, we're in a happier place. That's it. I would just like to raise a toast."

"Hold on."

Heads turned as Arthur's deep voice came from the corner of the room. "A few words I'd like to say from the heart." He motioned with his recently bandaged hand. "Now, as you all know, Arthur Shelby is dead."

Sara's eyes narrowed, quickly glancing up at Tommy. He nodded towards her, indicating he'd fill her in later.

"Because of that, Tommy's offered me a way out. A new identity. Start a whole new life for myself. And I've thought about it. Made a decision. I ain't fucking going nowhere."

The room quickly erupted in cheers.

"Our enemies are gone. Dead. All of 'em. For the first time since me and my two kid brothers, Tommy and John, enlisted in the Warwickshire Yeomanry, we have peace."

Sara's eyes found Tommy again. He looked solemn. A sadness was written on his face. Miles away from the smiles which had sat upon it just fifteen minutes before.

"So I think I'd like to make a proposal. All of you, The Shelby Company Limited, insists that Tommy here takes some time off. Its time you took a holiday Tom. Put your feet up. The war's over. No one wants to kill us. To peace." He raised his glass in Tommy's direction.

"To peace." The room echoed.

Sara's eyes never left her husband. She wondered whether he knew about this. His eyes stared out into the middle of the room. Blank, however she could tell his mind was working at a thousand miles an hour, processing everything. Given their current situation, she was happy that they may finally have some proper time as a family without the business commandeering all his time, however, she wasn't entirely sure how he would cope. The business was what he knew. It was his life. He suddenly looked unsure, and out of sorts, nervous even. As the room started to grow noisy again, she watched as Tommy finally found his feet and disappeared into the hallway. Choosing to leave him be, she took a drink and turned towards Ada.

"So, I heard you two made up." Ada teased, nudging her knee against her sister in laws.

"Oh and I wonder where you heard that." Sara glanced round at Lizzie who was sitting across from her next to Polly.

"Oh she made quite the announcement about it when she came back in." She grinned. "She's just jealous its not her rolling about in the hay with Tommy. Speaking of which…"

Sara watched as Ada's fingertips slipped into her hair. She grinned as she pulled a long piece of hay from the back of her head. A gesture which hadn't gone unnoticed by Lizzie.

"Oops." Sara bit her lip and raised her eyebrows. "I thought I got it all."

Laughter from them both sounded around the room as they erupted into fits of giggles like a couple of school girls. As a waiter passed by, Ada lifted another two glasses of champagne from the tray, handing one to Sara. As they continued to chatter, Ada regretted the fact they had let their relationship slide. So much had been going on which meant they hadn't spent too much time together. She vowed to herself to fix it.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

The hot sun beat down on the Birmingham streets as Sara and Ada wandered around the plethora of stores. It had been three months since they had hosted everyone at Arrow House, and true to her word, Ada had found more time to spend with Sara, bringing them closer together than they ever had been. As they wandered into another store, they glanced over the rails stocked heavily with the fashions of the season.

"So, how is Tommy enjoying his sabbatical?" Ada teased, lifting up a nearby hat and studying it.

Shaking her head, Sara's eyes widened. "Honestly Ada, when this idea first came up, I don't mind admitting I was probably the one who was happiest about it. After everything over the last year, I felt as though Tommy and I really hadn't been a proper family. We felt dysfunctional. So I saw this as an opportunity."

"And it hasn't worked out that way?"

Sara lifted up a dress which caught her eye. Tommy had promised her they were going out that evening and she wanted something new to wear. "Not exactly. Don't get me wrong, I have loved having him around more. But…"

"He's driving you crazy isn't he?" Ada laughed.

"Absolutely insane." Sara agreed, unashamedly. "He's just always there! God, that's awful to say, but I can tell he's restless. Can you believe he tried golfing? I tried to get him to wear the cute pants but he wasn't for agreeing. So needless to say, he went to the golf course dressed as though he was going to a business meeting. Today he's trying his hand at fishing"

Ada laughed. "I never thought I'd see the day. But I can understand his apprehension. He hasn't been without something to do in over ten years. He won't know what to do with himself. Plus, look at you!" She wandered around the store until she was next to Sara, placing a hand on her growing bump.

Sara glanced down. "I know. Over half way now."

"He's probably trying to make up for lost time. He wasn't around much when you were pregnant with Jack, was he?" Ada asked.

"No, he wasn't." she shook the memories from her mind and looked down at her watch. "Come on, lets go and get some tea. I just need to pay for this."

"Sara, when will you remember you're a Shelby?" Ada teased. "I'll wait for you outside."

Nodding, Sara made her way towards the counter leaving Ada to wander out into the street. As she reached into her bag and pulled her cigarette packet from it, she glanced around her until her eyes landed on a solitary figure making its way towards her.

"Hello."

"Jessie Eden!" her eyes widened and quickly glanced to Sara through the window of the store. "What are you doing here?"

"Meeting an associate. How about you?"

"Oh…I…"

"Ada, are you ready?" Sara appeared beside them, smiling.

"Oh, of course." Ada turned towards Sara and quickly glanced back at Jessie Eden. They didn't appear to know each other, however, she knew she wouldn't get away with not introducing them. Bracing herself, she smiled. "Sara, may I introduce…Jessie Eden. Jessie, this is Sara…Shelby."

Ada could see Jessie's demeanour slightly stiffen at the mention of Sara's name but should Sara know her, she didn't give anything away. A smile was plastered on her face as she looked over to the dark headed woman in front of her. She stretched her hand out towards her. "Pleasure to meet you."

Jessie tensed slightly as she tentatively took the offered hand. "Pleasure's mine."

"Ada, I'm starving. This one is demanding I eat." She smiled, giving her stomach a tender rub, catching Jessie's eye.

"Oh of course. Nice to see you again Jessie."

"Unless…" Sara turned. "Ms Eden, would you like to join us? Or do you have somewhere to be?"

Jessie stuttered as she glanced to Ada, who was struggling to hold in a smirk. "Oh, I…."

"Please." Sara insisted. "It would be nice to get to know a friend of Ada's."

"I suppose I could." She smiled nervously.

"Wonderful." Sara turned and began walking up the street, catching Ada's eye as she went.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was quiet, with only the sound of the water lapping only feet away. Tommy had found the most secluded part of the river he could find to try and gather his thoughts. He sat on a small stool, his arm resting on his waders as his fishing rod waited patiently for a bite. He had been like this since the sun had come up, alone with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. For three months, he had adhered to his families suggestion that he rested. Rested? How does one do that? He wasn't sure. It wasn't coming naturally to him. The first thing he did was take a trip to Margate. He hadn't yet had the courage to tell Sara about the events that took place on the beach in the seaside town. He had managed to cover up the bullet graze on his arm without her asking too many questions. A perk of the job, one might say. Once he had come home, he had thrown himself into family life. He couldn't deny, he'd enjoyed having the time with Sara and Jack. He couldn't quite get over how much his little boy had grown. He felt as though he had missed out on so much and he vowed he wouldn't make the same mistakes again. He felt better being there for Sara during the last few months of her pregnancy. He was there this time when she would see the doctor. He rubbed her feet whilst she lay reading in the library. He was there the first time the baby kicked. So why now, in the light of day, did he feel so lost? Tommy dipped his head and closed his eyes. Suddenly, the silence was interrupted and forced Tommy immediately from his stool and down into the marshy water, his arm protectively over his head and his eyes on high alert, quickly scanning his surroundings. The sound of rapid gunfire put him instantly on edge and before he knew it, he was right back in the trenches. Only after a few seconds did he realise where he was. The sounds of dogs barking burst into his imagination and pulled him out of his living nightmare. Finally letting go the breath he had been holding, his head dropped down and his arm fell in front of him, relief taking over his body.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara lifted her cup of tea and took a small sip as she surveyed the woman in front of her. She couldn't quite understand the attraction. Sure, she was physically attractive, but she was so quiet, almost mousy and so far detached from Thomas' world that she couldn't understand how he could potentially risk their marriage for her. She could only imagine that the information he had managed to obtain from her was vital to him. This last few weeks, Tommy had been making small comments about possibly moving into politics. She knew this woman's connections and knowledge about certain stalwarts within those political circles could benefit him.

"So, Sara, you have a young son already, is that right?"

Sara refocused her eyes, realising the attention was now on her. As she finished sipping her tea, she finally placed the cup down, ready for this charade to come to an end. She hadn't expected to run into this woman in the street and took advantage of the opportunity, perhaps naively, to understand what caused Tommy to get involved with her.

"On a first name basis are we now, Ms Eden?" Sara spoke, taking them both by surprise. Ada's mouth opened slightly, causing the cigarette she was about to light to fall onto the table. Jessie sat in silence, shell shocked at the woman's sudden change in tone. "Tell me, just so I am aware, is this the same level of close relationship you share with my husband? Or is he still called Mr Shelby?"

Jessie opened her mouth to speak but stuttered, quite unsure what to say in response.

"Or, are you more familiar with him? Is he Thomas? Or perhaps, Tommy?" she lifted one eyebrow, daring her to respond.

"Mrs Shelby, your husband and I have a strictly professional relationship." Jessie suddenly found her voice.

Sara nodded, clasping her hands in front of her. "Is that so? So, you're telling me that you never had a candlelit dinner alone with him? Never danced with him? Never kissed him?"

Jessie's eyes immediately betrayed her as they fell down to the table.

"The very fact that your eyes drop indicate the truth to me. Now, you were just asking about my son. Quite amusing that you clearly know of him, yet he certainly never featured in your conscious when you were with my husband. And as I'm sure you can see, our family is expanding."

"Your husband seduced me, Mrs Shelby." Jessie stated, loudly.

"Keep your voice down." Sara warned. "Now, I don't question my husbands charm at all. And I know all about you and the women before you. Its such a shame that apparently smart, attractive women such as yourself don't have more respect for yourselves to recognise when you are being used for his gain. My husband is a powerful man, Ms Eden. He knows what he wants, and he knows what to do to get it. Tell me, have you heard from him recently? For anything other than business?"

She shook her head.

"Then I can only imagine you have served your purpose. But be assured, do not turn your back on him. You know as well as I do what he is capable of." She warned, gathering her purse and hat. Sara got to her feet and began to walk around the table. "Shall we, Ada?"

Ada nodded, following her friend. Sara stopped as she approached Jessie's chair and leaned down towards her, making direct eye contact with her. "Oh, and before I go, if you put your hands on my husband again, it won't be his anger you will need to worry about."

And with that, she walked out the restaurant with Ada following quickly behind her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As the car pulled into the grounds of Arrow House, Sara clutched her bag tighter. Her heart was still pounding from the events of the day. She wasn't sure where the courage had come from to confront Jessie Eden, and certainly as they'd walked into the sunlight, Ada had been on her straight away.

 _"_ _Where the hell did that come from?"_

Her thoughts had been everywhere as she had started walking back down the street. Truthfully, she didn't know. She wasn't normally so confrontational, however, watching this woman act so naturally in front of her had really riled her. She had also been thankful of the fact that sweet innocent Curly couldn't hold his water and didn't fully understand the ramifications of divulging the grim details of the "business meeting" that took place between Tommy and Jessie to her. Of course, she would never tell anyone that's how she found out. She wouldn't risk Thomas Shelby's wrath being set upon a man like Curly. Truthfully, she had almost been ready to walk away from Jessie Eden and forget everything, satisfied that Tommy understood where she was coming from, however, the mention of her son put an end to that.

 _"_ _She asked about Jack so easily, Ada. As if she didn't know the damage she could have caused."_

Ada's reminder that Tommy was just as much to blame caused her to nod in agreement and she insisted she had dealt with that side of things some time ago. Now, as she reached the house, she was glad she had stood up for herself. She was fed up feeling like a doormat. As the car came to a stop, Sara gathered her things and stepped outside after her driver had opened the door. Thanking him, she took the step up to the front door and pushed down the handle, just as the sounds of smashed glass echoed around her. Immediately on alert, she threw the door open and rushed inside, dropping her bag on the staircase as she went. As she ran in the direction of the chaos, she came face to face with Frances.

"What is going on?"

"Mrs Shelby! I wasn't sure when you would be home. I was just about to call for Mrs Grey. I've tried to encourage him to see a doctor."

"Frances." Sara grasped her shoulders. "What is happening? Where is my husband?"

"He's in his study. He came home this morning and he hasn't seemed himself since."

Sara shook her head and released her before making her way to the study door. She pushed it open gently. The room was in darkness other than the light of the moon shining through the open drapes. As her eyes scanned the scene in front of her, her mouth widened at the sight of her husband lying in the middle of it all. He looked up, eyes wide as the light from the hallway crept inside.

"Sara." He lifted his arm and tried to use the desk to get to his feet.

Pushing open the door, Sara went to him, grasping his arms and trying to help him to his feet. He inhaled harshly as she gripped his hand and it was only then that she noticed the blood.

"Frances!" she called out, still trying to steady him until she managed to get him in a chair. She flicked on the desk lamp as Frances appeared in the doorway. "I need the first aid box. Oh Thomas, what have you done to yourself? She took the cigarette from his hand and put it out, noticing the almost empty bottle of gin sitting on the desk. Seconds later, Frances appeared, setting the first aid box down on the table and allowing Sara to clean up his cuts and grazes. Unclipping his braces and loosening his shirt, she pulled it from his shoulders so get a closer look at the cuts on his arms. Folding it up, she caught sight of the dirty marks on the back and shoulders. "Goodness Tommy, what have you been doing today? Rolling in the mud?"

He bent over his knees, ignoring her question. As she continued to wipe away the blood and bandage up the cuts, she felt his body shaking. Confused, she gripped his shoulders gently. "Tommy? What's wrong?" She knelt down in front of him, trying to get a good look at his face, and it was only then she realised he was crying. Her body froze, unsure of how to handle this. Lifting a hand, she lightly placed it on his cheek, her thumb turning cold against the tears. "Tommy, please, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"I can't do this Sara. I can't be this man." He responded in laboured breaths. "The time. Doing nothing. Its killing me."

She nodded. Truthfully, she'd known this was a risk. Polly had spoken prior about her concerns of Tommy taking time off. Not that she didn't agree he needed it, she recognised the impact it would have on him.

 _"_ _Its cause we're Shelby's. Its in our gypsy blood. We live somewhere between life and death. Waiting to move on, and in the end, we accept it. We shake hand with the devils and we walk past them."_

Sara got to her feet and pulled a chair towards them. Sitting down on it, she pulled him to her, his head falling easily onto her breast. Her left hand rested on the side of his face, her fingers entwining in his hair. She planted a kiss on the top of his head and whispered quietly to him, desperately trying to soothe him. "Frances, can you help me get him to bed?" she whispered to the maid standing awkwardly at the door. Nodding, Frances came to them.

"Come on Tommy. Can you stand up for me?" Sara whispered to him as though he was a five year old. He nodded and slowly got to his feet, the effects of the alcohol still obvious from his small movements. Frances lifted one of his arms and helped Sara take him up the staircase to their bedroom. "Thank you. Can you check Jack is alright for me and then just finish up for the night?"

Frances nodded and excused herself as Sara sat Tommy down on the bed and started to undress him. His head stayed down but as she came to his front to lift up his undershirt, he pulled her to him and rested his head upon her stomach, smiling to himself as he felt the subtle kicks of his baby from inside. It seemed to soothe him and Sara softened as his fingertips danced on her back. "Come on Tommy, get yourself into bed. Can you get your pants off yourself?"

"I may need some help." He lifted his head and gave her a drunken wink.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

Lizzie stood on the threshold of Thomas' office for what felt like hours. It was still dark outside, the sun having not yet risen from behind the horizon. She had been here all night, thinking. Contemplating telling him everything. Could she do that though? Could she admit she was behind Changretta finding out exactly who Sara was? She knew the punishment. If she escaped with her life, she would be lucky. Her eyes darted around the room as she took in her surroundings. The room was so inexplicably Thomas Shelby. Leather and deep mahogany wood covered every surface. Taking a few tentative steps into the room, she allowed her feet to carry her around to the opposite side of his desk and pulled the large, luxury chair out as she dropped softly into it. Her eyes scanned the items which decorated his desk. The items screamed wealth. Fountain pens, gold laced letter headed papers and silver picture frames. She smiled slightly as she glanced over the picture of Thomas' young son. His toothy smile grinned back at her with no hint of judgement as to why she was sitting there. The same couldn't be said for the next picture she came to. Sara's smile shone back at her, gloating and triumph clear on her face. Her smile faded as she took her in. She could understand why Tommy was besotted with her. She was breathtakingly beautiful, that much Lizzie couldn't deny, but she couldn't help but imagine what her life would have been like now, had Sara never appeared on the scene. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes, clasping her hands over her stomach. The images she had permanently engrained in her mind of her and Thomas together played back to her, dancing behind her closed eyelids. It was her happy place. A place that Thomas couldn't take away from her. She may no longer be the one who handled his insatiable needs, but she always had her memories. She had somehow managed to carve her way into the Shelby family, gaining as much respect and notoriety as the boys, but she didn't doubt they would hang her out to dry if they ever found out about the depths of her betrayal. She imagined what it would be like to have a proper, real conversation with him. The lengths of their talks now and in the past only ever centred around the business and sex. She had never asked him how his day was, or had a conversation with him over the dinner table, or had him hold her hand tightly after she pushed their child into the world. She hated Sara for all those things. All those firsts he had experienced with her, she had wanted for herself. Her body jerked involuntarily as she fully understand what she was feeling. _Jealousy._ Was that why she told Changretta who she was? A brief hope that somehow he would take her away permanently from Small Heath and allow Lizzie to slip into the role she would vacate. Her eyelids fluttered back open as she let out a small sigh before finally getting to her feet. Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she vowed she would never disclose her actions to anyone, making piece that admiring Thomas Shelby from afar, was better than not having him in her life at all.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Polly Gray found herself, for the first time in months, sitting in her chair with not much to do. Her office was quiet, yet she could still clearly hear the ruckus coming from the betting parlour. Somehow, she had managed to block much of the noise out as she sat back in her chair and lit her first cigarette of the morning. She sat in quiet contemplation at the events of the last few months. Five months had passed since the fateful events that Christmas morning where the family had lost John. Not only that, she hadn't seen hide nor hair of Esme and the children. On occasion she spoke with Michael who was still holed up in New York continuing to deal with Tommy's business. She was glad he was there, despite the fact she missed him, he was safer there. She took another long drag of her cigarette as she got to her feet. It was a warm Thursday afternoon and the sun was shining brightly down on Small Heath. Polly took a few steps towards the door and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes. Glancing up and down the street, there was a buzz around the town. People nodded to her excitedly as they wandered passed, no doubt heading for the nearby polling station.

"Linda. Lizzie. Ada." Polly yelled back into the room behind her. "Lets go."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tommy, you really need to calm down." Sara tightened the belt on her long beige coat as she pulled it tighter to her body. For hours, he had been pacing back and forth around their living room, but now was the time for them to finally make their way to the town hall and face the inevitable. He was almost like a child on Christmas morning and it was infectious to see his smiling face as he pulled his own coat and cap on. She sat down on the nearby couch as she watched him fix his tie in the large mirror which hung above their fireplace. She watched him intently as he studied his reflection, confident that he hadn't missed any stubble when shaving that morning. His eyes looked crisp and despite the slightly dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep the night before, he smirked confidently.

"I can give you some pressed powder to deal with those bags if you wish." She teased.

Turning back towards her, Tommy took several long strides in her direction before finally stopping in front of her, his eyes never leaving her gaze. "We can't all be as naturally beautiful as you."

"Charmer." She laughed, slowly getting to her feet. Tommy grasped her hand and allowed his free arm to wrap around her waist, holding her to him. "I'm fine, you know."

He lifted an eyebrow in protest, not quite accepting her argument. The doctor was estimating her to be around six months gone, yet she almost looked full term. On several occasions, he had joked with her that there may be more than one in there, a joke she always quickly shot down. Sara was aware she didn't have too many weeks to go, and fought to try and ignore the twinging pains she occasionally experienced. She had chosen to visit her physician a few days earlier who had mentioned the term Braxton hicks, something she had never experienced when pregnant with Jack. They were unnerving, but she had chosen not to mention anything to Thomas. He had enough on his plate as it was. She'd had to admit, when he had first mentioned his intention to run in the upcoming Birmingham by-election, she'd almost laughed. The thought of Thomas Shelby, Birmingham crime lord and gangster, becoming a politician in one of the oldest parliaments in the world, was almost too ridiculous. But she did what any other self respecting wife would do. She supported him. She went with him on campaign trails, she was there when he spoke to people who had once feared him, and she was with him when he debated with members of opposing parties. As she'd watched him work, watched him argue his case more eloquently that she'd ever given him credit for, she'd been speechless. And normally, Sara didn't do speechless. She never found herself lost for words. He had left his normal cocky, terrifying persona at the door each time and won over an army of enemies in the process. She didn't doubt for a second that the next time they came into this living room, they would be celebrating.

"Shall we go, Mrs Shelby?"

"Is the right honourable gentleman ready to face his followers?" she ribbed, to his amusement. "What? I'm just getting you ready for the lingo you'll soon have to learn."

"Don't be too sure, just yet."

"You've got this, Tommy." She reached up and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, loving the way his stubble was already growing through as it rubbed harshly against her lips. "I know you do."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The family stood at the top of the grand staircase, waiting patiently. Sara paced the floor constantly that Ada feared she would burn a hole right through the luxurious carpet beneath her feet.

"You need to sit Sara." She warned, shifting slightly to allow her space.

"I can't relax, Ada. What is taking so long? The results were announced almost an hour ago. What could they possibly be doing? Do you think they made a mistake?"

Ada shook her head, grabbing onto her friends hand and pulling her down beside her. "They haven't made a mistake Sara. You're officially married to the Member of Parliament for Birmingham South. You better get used to a life of service."

Sara smirked. "You know as well as I do Ada about his reasons for doing this. Whilst he may have the support of the people, they don't understand his true motives. I understand the importance of Jessie Eden in this whole scenario, as much as I want to wring her neck every time I see her near him."

Ada laughed under her breath, gathering the attention from those around her. Glancing up, Sara caught sight of Polly who also looked incredibly tense at the hold up. She bounced Jack gently on her hip as he smiled and giggled, blissfully unaware of the situation. Getting to her feet, Sara walked over to her and held out her hands, indicating her wish to hold her son. Without saying a word, Polly passed him over to her.

"Won't be long now." She whispered, although Sara wasn't sure if she was trying to convince her or herself.

As she made her way back to Ada with Jack clinging to her, his little fingers grasping the neckline of her dress, almost indecently exposing her, she paused as she took in the sight of Arthur and Linda standing against the nearby wall. She nodded towards them and was greeted by a huge beaming smile from her brother in law, so much so she was sure she could count his teeth if she was any closer. As she began to open her mouth to speak to them, the door which had remained closed for over an hour finally swung open. Tommy appeared first, his smile clear to see as he was handed his gun. Tucking it into his holster, he made his way down towards his family, Sara's widened grin meeting him as he went. His hands automatically stretched out for his son as he lifted him up in triumph over his head. The family gathered around him, laughter echoing around them. Sara immediately fell into line with Tommy, her arm slipping through his as he brought Jack down and held him tightly to his side. As she turned to make her way down the staircase alongside her husband, her eyes locked with Jessie Eden's. She felt the muscles in her face tense yet she kept her gaze tightly on her, leaving her under no illusions of her distain. Finally turning away, she gripped onto Thomas' arm tighter as they walked down towards the outside world.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Laughter and cheering erupted around the Garrison as Thomas pushed open the doors and made his way inside.

"No one is paying tonight Harry." He shouted over to the bar. "Send the bill to the Peaky Blinders."

Sara covered her ears quickly as if it wasn't loud enough already, Tommy's promise of an open bar just sent the punters who followed them in over the edge. After a brief stop over at Arrow House to place Jack in the capable hands of Frances and Mary, they had made their way back into Small Heath and headed straight for a friendly and familiar place. Tommy wanted to be back where he belonged. He wanted to celebrate with those who had gotten him there. As they sat at the bar, people continued to come up to them, shaking his hand and congratulating him. It was surreal. A few months ago, some of these people would never have dared crossed him in the street, but suddenly, he was a Labour MP. He was the person who would represent them in parliament. He was the one who could make their lives better, and there was no doubt, they respected him for that. Feeling an overwhelming rush of admiration, Sara reached over and grasped his hand, causing him to turn his head slightly towards her.

"I love you, Thomas Shelby."

He smiled, leaning in to kiss her. It had been some time since they had been here. She thought back to the first time she had ever set foot in this bar. Eyes had been fixed on her. The family had been intrigued to see him being so open with a woman in public. She remembered feeling uncertain about the attention, particularly when she thought of the unwelcome attention she had garnered from a certain Ms Stark. Then, as if experiencing déjà vu, she felt a set of eyes upon them. Shifting slightly, she tilted her head towards the other end of the bar until her eyes finally met with Lizzie. This time though, she was more than capable of dealing with it herself. Squeezing Thomas' hand, she got to her feet and released him before wandering over to Lizzie, knowing fine well Tommy's eyes were burning into her back.

"You know, this is like history repeating itself Lizzie. Your jealous stare over the bar."

"Jealous." Lizzie scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself love."

"Is that right?" Sara asked, rhetorically. "So I'm just imagining you sitting staring at us then. What is it about us that is so interesting?"

"Nothing, Sara. Nothing at all. I can assure you, I have no interest in you and Tommy. I wish you only the best." She stated, through gritted teeth.

"Oh is that so?" Sara leaned toward her, her mouth almost level with her ear. "Well, explain this to me Lizzie. Why were you so desperate to get me out of the picture? Did you imagine Tommy would come and sweep you off your feet with me gone? Do you think he'd realise what he's been missing with you all these years?"

"What are you talking about Sara?" Lizzie was growing impatient now with this game Sara insisted on playing.

"Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about Lizzie." There was a warning in her voice. "I know your secret."

"And what secret would that be?"

"I know it was you." Her voice tensed. "I know it was you who handed me to Luca. I know everything, Lizzie."


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N - Thank you all for sticking with me with this story! I really appreciate all the reviews and favourites/follows. I haven't had a lot of chance to update in the last few weeks but I think there is probably only a few chapters left to go of this story.**

 **Thanks for all your support. Please drop me a review and let me know your thoughts!**

 **Chapter 50**

Four long days had passed since Sara's thinly veiled warning and as Lizzie sat wrapped up on her couch, her mind was working overtime. Honestly believing she had gotten away with the risk of Thomas ever finding out about her betrayal, she had put it to the back of her mind after Changretta was brutally gunned down. But now, knowing that Sara knew, she felt as though she was a ticking timebomb. She held Lizzie's fate in her hands and there was nothing she could do about it. There was nothing stopping Sara from spilling all to Tommy and the thought of him ever finding out made her feel so physically sick, she could almost rush to the sink. She couldn't handle ever seeing him look at her with hate or fury in his eyes. Those ice blue eyes that she'd spent hours staring into, hours looking up into whenever he had her over his desk, or up against a wall. Over the last five years, all she had hoped was for the American to go back to where she came from and allow her the chance to show Tommy that he could love her. She didn't need to be just his whore. She could be his lover, his partner, his wife. But still, he wouldn't give her the chance, and now that Sara had given him his first child and was expecting his second, she couldn't see any way around it. With that, and now combined with the added possibility that Sara could destroy her at any second, she felt her life crumbling around her. Brushing her long, slender fingertips through her short, dark hair, she forced back the tears which threatened to fall. How could she have ever gotten herself into this mess? How did she ever think she wouldn't be found out? Of course, a small part of her had hoped that Luca would have taken care of the entire situation, and she'd hoped that his constant threat would be enough to keep anyone else who knew, silent. But now, with him out of the picture, and Sara, the only one holding all of the cards, she felt herself break, unable to stop the tears.

Xxxxxxxxx

The rain pounded down fiercely, almost biblically, as Thomas' car weaved along the long winding road. Sara stared mindlessly out of the window, not really looking at anything, just taking in the white noise that surrounded her. Her eyes flitted over the tar black clouds which covered the entire sky. Over the past few weeks, the sky had been picturesque, typical weather for May, but something was changing. She wondered if it was an omen, a sign from a higher entity that something wasn't right or that something was about to happen. As she gripped tightly onto her young son, Sara watched intently as the raindrops smacked off the window. It hadn't rained like this in months and given the sheer scale of water that was beginning to cover the long road in front of them, she wouldn't have been surprised to see Noah's Ark floating by.

"What's on your mind?"

Thomas' gravelly voice broke into her thoughts and brought her screaming back to reality. She turned her head slightly in his direction and smiled.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"We're almost in Liverpool. Bit late to ask me that now." He teased, reaching over the bench seat and grasping her hand, pulling it up to his lips and planting a chaste kiss on her knuckles.

"I could understand you saying that if we were half way across the Atlantic already. But we can still easily turn around and go back home." She leaned forward and rested her cheek against Jack's soft wisps of hair. He was eight months old now and growing so quickly. She could see traces of Tommy in him. His eyes were as blue as the vast ocean they were about to set sail across and despite his chubby cheeks, he had clear signs of dimples beginning to form whenever he laughed. Truthfully, she was struggling to keep up with him now. With him quickly finding his ability to crawl around the house, she had to keep constant tabs on him, ready to pull him away from whatever mischief he was aiming for. Now, she was thankful he was sound asleep, the rocking motion of the car allowing him to drift off almost as soon as they left the Birmingham boundaries.

"Do you think we'll get lucky again?" Tommy asked, nodding towards his sleeping son.

She narrowed her eyes slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we've lucked out and had a son who is as docile and peaceful as his father…"

She almost let out a snort as the laugh quickly escaped her, interrupting him in his statement.

"What?" he laughed.

She gazed up at him once more. As ridiculous as his observation was, it made her laugh. But, not only that, she adored the sound of his laugh. She could listen to it all day. It wasn't a noise that she heard on a regular basis so when it did happen, Sara savoured it. Her eyes scanned over his features. She could never tire of looking at him, could never tire of touching him and right now, in that moment, under the hammering rain and thunderstorm, it took all of her strength not to tell him to pull the car over so she could have him, right there and then. Instead, she gently rocked Jack closer to her body and kissed the top of his head.

"Here's hoping we are lucky again then." She smiled up at him.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Ada pulled her warm fur lined coat tightly to her body as she made her way towards Shelby Company Limited. Pushing open the door, she wasn't overly surprised to be greeted by a foray of punters already trying to place bets. Glancing at the nearby clock, she noted it wasn't even eight in the morning, yet the parlour was packed. Making her way through the room towards the offices in the back, the crowds of people parted like the Red Sea, enabling her to easily manoeuvre through. As she reached the final door, she placed her gloved hand on the gold handle and shoved it open, coming face to face with Lizzie as she did so.

"Morning Lizzie." She stated, her lips tightly pursed together.

"Ada." Lizzie nodded. "I need Tommy's signature on these contracts. Can you ask him to deal with them?"

"Well, that might be somewhat difficult Lizzie. You'll need to ask Poll or Arthur to sign them." Ada stated as she made her way towards Tommy's office and unbuttoned her coat, pulling it off and hooking it onto the nearby coat stand.

"And why is that Ada?"

Ada turned, somewhat surprised that Lizzie had followed her. "Well Lizzie…" she looked back up at the clock. "Given that I estimate he's probably somewhere off the coast of Ireland right now, it may be somewhat difficult for me to get those papers to him."

Lizzie's eyes widened. "What do you mean? Why?"

Making her way around Tommy's desk, Ada dropped into his leather chair and leaned back, her eyes catching the family picture frames which adorned his desk. "He's going to New York, Lizzie." Her brow furrowed as she watched for Lizzie's reaction, seemingly satisfied when she sensed her whole body stiffening at the news. She was well aware this would likely grant a response and she couldn't deny, she was relishing it.

"And what about the business Ada? He just takes off and leaves us to pick up the pieces?" Lizzie tried desperately to relax her body, sitting herself down in one of the two chairs in front of Ada and crossing her legs. Her arms rested down across her lap and normally, she would look calm, if it wasn't for his fingertips gripping tightly onto the velvet fabric of her turquoise dress.

Ada's mouth tightened in disdain and she fought the natural urge to clamber across the table and wipe the smirk off of Lizzie's smug face. Instead, she got to her feet and wandered back around to the front of the desk, leaning against the mahogany and closing the gap between them. "Listen Lizzie, I understand you've been with us for sometime, and I'm well aware of your extra curricular activities with my brother, but lets get one thing straight. Tommy has been running this business day and night for almost nine years. He has never taken time off until recently, and we are all well aware of how that went. But this time, he has his wife. He has his son, and he's about to have another child. His family are with him and support him, and we all know how much he needs this break. The business here is under Polly and Arthur's control. It will not collapse if Tommy is gone for a while. And not that it should concern you, but Tommy is going to be joining Michael in New York and running things there. Now, I assume that all of that is alright with you? I apologise that we didn't consult you beforehand."

Lizzie's eyebrow arched slightly before quickly dropping back down. "I just wanted to ensure everything was taken care of."

"You leave that to us Lizzie, and you just deal with the job that Tommy pays you to do." Pushing herself from the table, Ada wandered to the nearby table and poured out a small glass of whisky. Her heart was pounding following the exchange and she needed something to calm herself with. "Now, why don't you go back to work? Whilst you still have a job."

Getting to her feet, Lizzie began to walk towards the door before turning back slightly. "What does that mean?"

"Well, I don't think Tommy would be happy to keep you in employment should he ever find out what you did to his wife." Ada responded, without skipping a beat.

If she ever had the chance to think back to that very moment, Lizzie could have been positive her heart stopped. She paused as her eyes drifted up and met Ada's condescending stare. "What do you mean by that?"

"Don't play dumb with me Lizzie. You should know me better than that by now. You should also be aware that Sara and I were good friends before she got involved with Tommy. She lived a few doors away from me in London. She tells me everything. And you should know, that the only reason why I haven't divulged this information to anyone, is purely because she asked me not to. That girl is the only reason why you're still standing here. Don't forget that. You can go now."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sara's heart was pounding in her chest as the car pulled up outside the townhouse that she spent the better years of her childhood. She glanced over at Tommy who looked unperturbed at the sheer scale of it. She shouldn't be surprised given the size of the home they were currently residing in, but she couldn't deny, she still felt a twinge of worry that his opinion of her may change once he visited her home. Whilst she knew he had grown up in a loving home, she knew the setting of his childhood wasn't exactly affluent. He shifted slightly in the back seat of the Bugatti before turning to face her. Sara's gaze dropped from her husband down to the sleeping form of her son nestled in his arms. He looked so small wrapped up within Tommy's coat sleeves.

"Ready?" he asked, almost timidly.

She nodded briefly, unsure of herself.

"Why so nervous?" he asked, genuine interest etched on his hard features. "It isn't like I haven't met them before."

"I don't know." She admitted.

"Come on. It'll be fine. If anything, I'm the one that should be nervous. Your father never quite gave me the warm welcome to the family at our wedding." The corner of his mouth raised slightly upwards.

Sara nodded, conceding. It was true. Her father had never quite warmed to him as much as her mother did. She knew why. He was worried about her. Worried after her experiences with James. Worried when she divulged Tommy's occupation. Worried when she had appeared back on their doorstep some months before. No one would ever be good enough for his only daughter. Hell, Sara could bring home the very handsome Prince of Wales and even he, heir to the British throne, wouldn't be good enough.

"I'm sorry about him. He can be overprotective." She looked down at her gloved hands which were clasped tightly in her lap.

"Its understandable, given…" his voice trailed off, realising his mistake.

Sliding across the bench seat, Sara slipped her hand onto his shoulder and gently pressed her lips against his cheek, almost setting them on fire as they trailed over the slight stubble. "You don't need to walk on eggshells around me Tommy. I know my past. I accept my past. You don't need to tiptoe around me."

Tommy turned his head slightly, catching her lips with his. He was very aware of the driver, standing only inches away from him, ready to open the door for them. Accepting he would need to wait until he had some proper time alone with his wife, he planted another kiss on her forehead before looking back down at her. "Come on. Your mother is probably staring out the window watching us."

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Dinner was an uncomfortable affair. Few words had been spoken despite her mothers excitement when they had first arrived. George Miller had been as frosty as a winters morning towards Tommy, although the ice had melted as soon as his baby grandson had woken up from his nap. Despite them having not spent much time together, the bond was clear as Jack had reached out for his grandfather, begging to be held by him. Sara smiled as she watched them together, glancing over at Tommy who was sitting beside her, an impassive look on his face.

"Are you alright?" she whispered to him.

He nodded to her before getting to his feet. "I think I'll turn in. Its been a long journey."

She watched as he disappeared across the sitting room and out the door before she could say another word.

"Is he alright, dear?" Sara's mother got to her feet and moved into the newly vacated space on the couch beside her daughter.

"He's just tired mother. Its been a long few days. Jack has been keeping us up at night. His teeth are cutting through, poor thing."

"Dab of rum on his gums." She suggested.

Sara nodded. "I should get him to bed. I don't want him getting out of his routine." She got to her feet and straightened out her dress before holding out her arms in front of her father. She watched as his mouth turned quickly into a frown before he handed Jack over to her.

"The room is all ready for you. We bought a crib for him. The blankets and bedding are all there." Her father stated, getting to his feet and making his way to the nearby table to pour out a small drink. Without missing a beat, he moved back towards her, dipping his index finger into the clear liquid. Sara held onto Jack tightly as her father slipped his finger past the little boys lips and along his gums. "That should settle him."

She nodded in thanks before giving them both a quick peck on the cheek and heading towards the door. "Goodnight then."

"Goodnight dear." Her mother smiled as she watched her daughter disappear from sight. Turning her head back to her husband, her smile quickly disappeared. "George, really."

"What?" he asked in mock defiance.

"You know exactly what." she argued. "Your daughter has come all this way and you can only tolerate her."

"I'm not tolerating her. I'm more than happy she and Jack are here. Its Shelby I'm tolerating."

"That man is her husband. And whether we like it or not, he is the man she has chosen. You were a huge advocate of Mr Lockwood and look how that turned out. He is part of the reason you finally have the grandchild you have been so desperate for. Can't you even try to be civil to him?" she reasoned.

"Damn it, Elizabeth." George got to his feet and ran his hand through his hair. It was thinning on top but he still had a fair head of it. He looked much younger than his fifty eight years and in no way looked old enough to have a twenty seven year old daughter. But he couldn't deny, he'd aged in the last five years, ever since Sara had moved away to England, the stress and strain of losing her had been intolerable. He only ever wanted the best for her, and at this time, he struggled to see that the best was Thomas Shelby. "You can't honestly tell me that thug is the best partner for our daughter. You can't tell me he's the best father for our grandson. And for our next grandchild. You can't expect me to believe that."

"George, I'm not asking you to believe anything. I'm asking you to trust our daughter that she knows what she's doing. She married James because it was good for us. It was good for our families. Not because it was good for her. She's married Thomas for love. You can't honestly tell me that you can't see that. You seen them out in the car when they arrived. They looked as though they were just married. She deserves this, George. And as her father, you should want the best for her." Elizabeth collapsed back onto the nearby leather armchair, almost defeated. Her cream blouse had begun to crease around the hem and normally her compulsiveness would cause her to panic about this, but at this moment in time, she couldn't bring herself to care. Her still blonde hair was pinned high on her head, although in her frazzled state, it had started to come loose, causing short tendrils to fall down around her face and neck. She looked over at her husband who sighed, beaten under her argument. He nodded at her as the creases in his skin began to loosen.

"You're right."


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N - Hello all! I have so sorry for the ridiculously long hiatus. I have been having some major issues with my computer and have only just managed to get back in. Hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think. Thank you to those who have followed/favourited recently despite the lack of updates. I really appreciate it.**

 **Chapter 51**

Tommy sighed as the warm breeze drifted over his face, his hands buried deep into the pockets of his long, light coat as he walked in time with his wife, matching her footsteps and occasionally glancing over at her. It was the first time he had seen her like this, comfortable and in her element as she walked along the familiar streets of the Upper West Side. Streets she had grown up on and had spent time running around. To Tommy, the surroundings were foreign, but he happily kept in line with Sara, following her lead as she navigated the long streets with ease. His eyes adjusted as they broke into the sunlight after being enclosed by a number of tall buildings. Suddenly, it was as though they were in a completely different world. Sara guided him down Central Park West, tucking her arm through his as she indicated for him to cross the road and into the vast greenery of the park. They had walked in silence for some time and Sara felt her tension increasingly growing the longer it lasted. As they wandered along the winding paths, the number of people around them began decreasing steadily.

"Tommy, are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" She asked, stopping alongside a nearby bench. "Because I can sense there's something you're not telling me."

He turned back to face her, his hands still firmly in his pockets, but his gaze not quite meeting hers. "No idea what you mean, Sara."

Sara placed her gloved hands inside her the pockets of her light wool coat as she took a seat on the bench. "I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong. So, am I getting comfortable, or are you going to explain why you're acting so strange?"

Reaching into his pocket, Tommy pulled out his cigarettes and matches, quickly lighting one and taking a long drag. He took a seat beside her, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. He lifted his eyes and gazed across the path in front of them, his peaked cap shielding them from the sunlight. Taking another pull of his cigarette, he eventually dropped it onto the ground, stubbing it out with the toe of his leather shoe.

"I haven't been a hundred per cent honest with you." Tommy glanced up at her from under his cap.

"Well there's a surprise." She stated, sarcasm dripping from her lips. "I don't think you've been one hundred per cent honest with me about anything since the day we met."

He tensed, but didn't contradict her, knowing he couldn't deny it. There was only one thing he had been entirely honest about, and that was about his love for her and Jack. Despite all his misdemeanours and errors, he did everything for them, even when she couldn't see that herself.

"There's something I have to tell you. And I know you're going to go crazy, but be assured, I did this purely for the family. For the business."

"As is your excuse for everything Tommy." She tutted. "Killed a man? For the family. Fixing races? For the family. Fucked a Russian whore? For the family."

His eyes widened as she spat the words out venomously. "Where did that come from?"

"You haven't exactly been the pillar of honesty and morals since we've known each other have you? The fact its now clear you're keeping something else from me is hardly surprising. I've put up with a lot Thomas. Be assured though, there will come a point where it will be too much to bear. Please don't push me to that limit."

Tommy nodded his head in defeat. He knew exactly what she was implying and truthfully, he couldn't blame her. He had pushed her away and put her through hell, between the business and the women. How she was still here with him, he wasn't sure. Somehow, he couldn't help but think that had she not become pregnant with his children, she would have left him a long time ago. Sitting up, he reached his hand over and gently placed it on her stomach, rubbing gently with his thumb. Her eyes drifted down and watched his movements intently, tensing slightly as a soft kick came from within.

"I shot Alfie."

He couldn't remove his line of sight from her stomach but he could tell by the way her body tensed under his hand, exactly how her face would look at that exact moment.

"What...how? what do you mean?" she stuttered.

"Just listen to me before you jump to assumptions."

She swallowed hard as she waited for him to continue, knowing there was no way she was going to like this story.

"He betrayed us, Sara. Again. He's done it before. Alfie always ran with the highest bidder. Who would pay him the most money. There was no one he wouldn't deceive for the right price. The night of the fight, when Arthur was attacked…."

He glanced up at her, unsure of whether he could meet her gaze, but she was watching him carefully, willing him to continue. "….Alfie was the one who sold us out. He made a deal with Changretta to give up the family. He was the one who put them in Arthur's path. He was the reason I nearly lost another brother. I went to see him in Margate. I found him on the beach. He told me he had cancer, Sara. Riddled with it, he said. He pulled his gun first. Luckily his aim was off. Only caught my arm. Mine however, was not."

"You left him?"

Tommy nodded.

"So he's dead?"

Tommy shrugged. "If my bullet didn't kill him, the cancer soon enough will. He's lost everything to the Italians."

Sara nodded, saying nothing else. She lifted her hand and placed it on top of his. "I understand."

His eyes narrowed on her, almost unsure how to take her. "You do?"

She squeezed his hand gently. "Alfie meant a lot to me Tommy. You know he did. But if he was the reason we almost lost Arthur then I understand why you did it. I know Arthur is everything to you, and I couldn't bear seeing you lose him, particularly so soon after losing John."

His name hung in the air between them like a broken promise and Sara could truly see the broken man in front of her. He kept his guard up for everyone apart from her. He had taken John's death badly but refused to let anyone see how he really felt. It had been business as usual almost immediately, however Sara knew to an extent, he blamed himself. If he had continued to try and contact him that night, he might have saved him. He'd given up too early. Had he kept trying, he may have been able to warn him.

"Is that all you have to tell me?" she asked, tentatively.

Tommy pulled another cigarette from his coat pocket and lit it as he turned his body towards her. He lifted his hand and placed it alongside her face. Her blonde hair was pulled into an intricate chignon at the nape of her neck and the slight breeze had caused a few loose tendrils to waft around her cheeks. His calloused fingertips found their way into her hair and gently stroked the skin of her cheek. She blushed slightly under his touch and he smirked, knowing exactly the effect he still had on her.

"I promise that is everything." He finally spoke.

Sara nodded briefly before getting to her feet and pulling herself out of his grasp. Reaching out, she held her hand to him. Tommy took a final drag of his cigarette and threw it to the ground before sliding her hand into hers. As they began to walk through the park, she slipped her arm through his and rested her head against his shoulder, walking slowly in perfect sync with him. Tommy's eyes drifted across the scene in front of them. When was the last time he had done this? Taken some time off and truly enjoyed it with his family. The business hadn't even entered his mind. They had been in New York for over a week now and he hadn't checked in on Michael just yet. Sara had insisted they spent some time as a family and didn't allow the stress of Shelby Company Limited to come into it. So far, this had been a better experience than his last attempt but he knew he had to take it slowly. The scene around him was absolutely picturesque and it had been a long time since he had stopped and appreciated his surroundings. The weather in New York in May was unsurprisingly better than it had been when they left Birmingham. As they wandered through the narrow paths of North Woods, Tommy's eyes glanced around, observing the old trees which hung over the walkway like soldiers standing at attention, acting as a sound board against the busy world outside. As they continued their stroll, they found themselves discussing anything and everything, something which Sara was extremely thankful for. She found herself almost wishing they didn't have to go back to England if it meant she could keep hold of this Tommy. This man who seemed so incredibly open, honest and approachable was a far cry from the normal persona he portrayed, and she found herself wishing she could keep this man forever and made a promise to herself to broach the subject with him very soon.

Xxxxxxxx

"George, can you promise me you'll behave tonight? This last few days have been almost unbearable. I cannot stand the thought that Sara isn't happy here. She'll never come back if you don't stop pushing her away, and then we will never get to see our other grandchild. Is that what you want?" Elizabeth sat down in a nearby chair, exasperated as she glanced over at her husband. His glasses were sitting carefully on the bridge of his nose as he was overly engrossed in the daily newspaper. "George?!"

His shoulders tensed at her raised voice and he turned his head slightly, allowing his newspaper to crumple slightly in his lap. "I hear you Elizabeth."

"Can't you at least make an effort to get to know Mr Shelby? After dinner, Sara and I can retreat to the sitting room and you both could go to the study and have a few glasses of brandy? Wouldn't that be nice?"

George shook his head, frustrated at her constant insistence. "Fine Elizabeth. I will give it this one evening. If my opinion of him hasn't changed by then, then it never will. But do not expect miracles."

Elizabeth smiled with glee and triumph. "Thank you dear. I know Sara will really appreciate you making the effort."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

A few hours later and the sun had started to disappear behind the woodland, projecting the most beautiful colours through the gaps between the trees created by the soft spring breeze. Taking a turn, they began making their way back towards civilisation, the crowds starting the increase as they did. Just as they were about to take their final steps out of the park, Sara gripped Tommy's hand, pulling him to a stop.

"What's wrong love?" he asked.

"Before we go back Tommy, I just want you to know I love you. I know my family haven't been easy on you, but nothing they say will ever change my mind about you."

He smiled as he pulled her gently to him and placed a chaste kiss upon her lips.

"Anna?"

Tommy heard the voice but paid it no attention until he felt Sara tense within his grip. As he gently pulled his lips from hers, he was horrified to see the look of terror in her eyes. She was looking right at him, however her gaze was vacant, empty and somewhat pained.

"What's wrong Sara?" He narrowed his eyes and gripped her shoulders tightly, giving her a slight shake, trying to break her from her reverie. "Sara?"

"Anna? Is that you?" The voice sounded again, and this time Thomas turned and gave the source of it his full attention. His eyes fell upon a small, frail woman who was standing a few feet away from them. Her clothes were slightly worn but he could tell by her appearance that she was working the streets. Her cold blue eyes were focused directly on his wife and it made him incredibly nervous. He glanced back over to Sara whose gaze was still fixed directly on him.

"Come on Sara." He urged, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Let's get you home."

Finally blinking, she turned her head towards him, not looking in the woman's direction.

"Hey! Anna! I'm talkin' to you." The woman shouted again in a thick New York accent. Just as Tommy had turned them towards the street, he felt the woman's grip pulling Sara back. His whole demeanour changed as he pulled his wife behind him out of harms way and shoved the woman back using his free hand.

"Don't dare touch her." He warned. "I don't know who you think she is lady, but I can assure you, she is not who you are looking for. So be on your way."

The woman finally glanced up at the man standing in front of her and smirked. "Handsome one you've landed here Anna. You've done alright for yourself. Seems I taught you well."

Tommy felt Sara's finger tips grip his arm through his coat and he could hear her breathing hitch behind him. "You didn't teach me a thing Mary." She finally spoke, catching Tommy off guard. He stepped slightly to the side to look down at her, confusion clear on his face. She nodded to him, indicating she was alright as she took another step in the woman's direction.

"Mary? Have some respect girl."

Before she could stop herself, Sara let out a cackle. "Respect? You demand respect of me? Darling…" she turned her head back to Tommy. "This…. woman…." she spat. "…is the one who dared to call herself my mother."


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

 **apologies for the long delay in updating. things have been hectic here. ive recently had a baby so my available time has somewhat diminished. thank you for sticking with me though! also thanks for drawing my attention to the formatting issues with the most recent update. i will try to get the next one out as soon as i can**

Tommy followed quickly behind her as she rushed up the winding staircase of her parents townhouse. She had barely spoken since they left Central Park and he was growing increasingly worried about her.

"Sara?"

He spoke again as they made their way into the bedroom. Her parents were out for the day but were expected home imminently and the last thing he wanted was to make a scene. He highly doubted that Sara would be keen to divulge the fact she had run into her birth mother that afternoon. He could feel the tension radiating from her. The unexpected meeting had thrown her for six and he could sense how uncomfortable she felt being back in the woman's presence. Her normally vivacious attitude had quickly disappeared after she had introduced them. It was almost as if she had become the same terrified little girl she had been growing up. Like she was transported back to that time in her life, as if no time had passed at all. The woman had quickly noticed the protruding bump from underneath her coat and all of Tommy's protective instincts kicked in when she had made attempts to place her hand upon his wife's stomach.

"So I see I am to be a grandmother."

Tommy had swiftly stepped in front of Sara, knocking the woman's hand out of the way.

"Quite the handsome one you have here Anna."

She had looked over Tommy from head to toe as he stood between them, towering over her. He had taken Sara's hand and pulled her gently along the path towards one of the many exits of the park, desperate to get her out of the situation.

lI'll be around here if you want to talk Anna."

Allowing Tommy to escort her away, Sara had tried desperately to ignore the woman shouting after them and now, within the safety of her home, she collapsed onto a nearby chair and dropped her head into her hands. He was quickly by her side, his arms wrapped tightly around her. She allowed herself to be gathered up in his embrace, resting her head on his strong shoulder.

"Sara." He whispered. "Talk to me. Tell me what all that was about.

She pulled her body back from him and rested back into the chair. "There isn't much more to say. That woman was my mother. You remember all what I told you about my childhood."

Thomas nodded solemnly. Truthfully, the thought of it all was never far from his mind since she had trusted him in the early days of their relationship with that very private and sensitive confession. He remembered the night she confided in him vividly. He had spent possibly the most romantic night of his life with her that evening. Albeit, the drafty and broken Watery Lane house hadn't been the most romantic setting, but being there with her, wrapped up in blankets in front of the crackling fire had been a different experience for him, one he thought back to on a regular basis. He had known that evening that he was truly in love with her, despite the difficult conversation they'd had. And now, as he held her hands as she shook with tears, he thought over the last few years of their life together. He knew he hadn't been a model husband. She had been to hell and back during her short time in this world and he knew he hadn't helped matters. How she was still here with him he wasn't sure. His many indiscretions hadn't gone unnoticed by his wife and she had made it perfectly clear that she wouldn't tolerate much more. Truthfully, he didn't want to put her through any more heartache. She was his wife and she deserved his respect. She was the mother of his children. What kind of father was he if he continued to disrespect her by sleeping with other women? As he gripped onto her hands, his eyes drifted up to her face, finally catching her eyes. Thomas forced a small smile and reached up, placing a gentle kiss upon her lips.

"You don't ever have to see that woman again, Sara." He promised. "She is nothing to you. Why did she call you Anna?"

"It was the name she gave me. When I was adopted, my parents gave me the option of changing my name. I was fifteen at the time and they thought I would want to remove all traces of my time with her, that included my name. I agreed to it and we decided on Sara."

"I prefer Sara." He smiled.

Sara laughed softly, pulling her hands from his grasp as she attempted to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. As they sat in silence, the quiet was quickly disturbed by the sound of the front door closing indicating her parents had arrived home.

"Can you go down and keep them busy until I freshen up?" She asked. "I don't want them to see me like this. It will prompt too many questions. They don't need to know anything about this."

Tommy nodded and got to his feet, giving her another kiss before disappearing from sight.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She tossed and turned for hours before finally throwing the covers from her body and getting to her feet. A few days had passed since the events in the park and she struggled to get the encounter out of her head. Glancing across the bed, she sighed at the sight of the empty space beside her. Thomas had finally made contact with Michael the previous afternoon and had been taking care of some business ever since. Sara found that since she had been alone, her thoughts had been constantly occupied by her mother, not even the distraction of her young son had been enough. Getting to her feet, Sara made her way to the next room where her son was sleeping. Looking in on him sleeping peacefully, she reached into the crib and gently stroked the soft hair on his head, taking care not to disturb him. Satisfied he was settled for the night, she made her way back to the bedroom and opened her closet door, pulling out suitable clothes.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Any word from the miners yet Michael?"

Tommy lit another cigarette and leaned back in the leather chair as Michael put the phone down.

"It's been called off."

Nodding, Tommy took another drag from his cigarette as he carefully studied his younger cousins face. His initial rage at the situation with Michael had started to subside, however he hadn't forgotten it. Sending him to America had been the only option but he had to admit, he was starting to grow concerned at the impact of him being alone and detached from the rest of the family. Whilst Tommy had been in the states, a general strike had been called across the UK. He hadn't been overly surprised. The recent conversations he'd had with Jessie Eden had intimated that this was always a possibility. The demand for increased wages was rife across Tommy's factories and the sacrifices he'd had to make to bring his workers back had been significant, however, the control he now had indicated it had been worth it. Now, word had reached them that the Government had begun regaining control of the situation and the dispute had ended.

"Won't be so easy to get them back." Michael reached across the desk and lifted his cigarettes.

"We don't need to take them back." Tommy glanced over the desk keeping his demeanour impartial.

"We need to take them back if production is to recommence at the same levels." Michael argued. "We've lost enough money over the last couple of weeks as it is."

Saying nothing, Tommy got to his feet and wandered over to the nearby window. Looking out over the towering buildings around him, he reached over and picked up the decanter from the table in front of him and poured a generous amount into a nearby glass. He thought back to his wife at home. He had been spending so much time at the office over the last couple of days that he felt as though he had been neglecting her. They only had a few weeks left before their baby would be making an appearance and Tommy knew he had to make more of an effort than he had done when she'd been pregnant with Jack. He'd almost missed his birth and he refused to allow that to happen again. Knocking the rest of the whisky down his throat, Tommy turned back to the table and lifted his coat and slipped his arms into the sleeves.

"Keep me informed of how things progress with the Italians. I may need you to go to Chicago."

Michael glanced up at him questioningly but wisely chose to keep his mouth shut, choosing to nod instead. He got to his feet and made his way across the room to pour a drink as Tommy disappeared from the room and into the night.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Walking the streets towards Central Park, Sara pulled her coat closer to her body. There was a slight chill in the night air but she managed to ignore it as she kept her pace at a steady speed. She thought back to her son who was still tucked up in bed, the housekeeper having kindly agreed to keep an eye on him. The confusion on her face had been obvious at Sara's insistence she had to go out at three o clock in the morning, however she kept quiet and simply reassured her that Jack was in safe hands. Now, as Sara crossed the road and made her way into Central Park, she had questioned whether she was making the right choice. Her hand reached into her coat pocked and fingered the cold metal of the small hand gun she had lifted before leaving. Despite the tough upbringing she had suffered, she wasn't naïve enough to not expect to come across any trouble whilst she was out. New York certainly wasn't the safest of cities and the park was rife with unfortunates and criminals, especially in the middle of the night. Pushing the thought from her mind, she charged on through the park until she finally reached a familiar landmark. Sitting down on the same bench she had with Tommy only a few days earlier, she waited. Her eyes farted around as she studied the faces of the very few people who were wandering around. She suddenly felt very self conscious, knowing she stood out like a sore thumb in her fancy clothes. She knew she was leaving herself in a vulnerable position but she tried to forget about it, knowing she had to do this.

"Well, well. Surprised to see you here."

Sara got to her feet and turned around, her eyes drifting over the familiar face in front of her. Despite the number of years that had passed since she had escaped the hell hole she had grown up in, the woman hadn't changed much. She'd aged significantly mainly due to the drink and drugs. Lines were permanently engrained around her eyes and forehead but she was still the same person. She forced herself to keep her anger at bay. She wanted answers. Some form of closure if she could, and she knew this was the only way to get it. She took a deep breath and nodded at the woman who now only stood a few feet from her.

"Hello Mary."


End file.
